Here’s my personal take on those clichés about divorce. .　 Great city but try getting Special Ed benefits – required by law but not offered to students or families needing them – for special needs children.　

1. Marriage and children, Divorce and
custody, Property and support these issues
define the practice of family law. These
issues also touch the heart of every one of
our clients.
www.Moorefamilylawmn.com

2. CLICHES THAT CAN HELP YOU THROUGH DIVORCE
Here’s my personal take on those clichés about divorce.
”It can only get better.”
OK, this one was not true always true for me. Let’s look at the details of this part of my life.
We were living in Houston, TX. Great city but try getting Special Ed benefits – required by law but not
offered to students or families needing them – for special needs children. We had two. We were
told – both my ex and I being pretty feisty and wanting to score a win for our children as well as for one
another – anyway, we contacted the Texas premier campaigner for the rights of the disabled (yes
there is such a person) and he told us that yes, we could fight for the needed services. Yes, we could
count on him for help. Yes we could win. It would take seven or eight years… OKAY»> so we
had that stress or and my wife needed a heart transplant and both children were institutionalized and I
was going nuts and my job was ending and I couldn’t be there for wife, kids, family or even myself.
So, yes, when I got the divorce papers from my soon-to-be ex, it could— and did – only get better after
that, the worst day of my life.
How did we get out of such a Slough of Despond? Not just me. My ex, our children… We owe
a tremendous amount and debt to my ex. I was paralyzed. She acted. She moved with the kids
to be closer to her family and to Minnesota where services were more available. She got herself a
heart transplant. She let the kids know that if I loved them I would follow them to St. Paul. I did and
I did.

3. Finally it got better.
“Time heals all wounds
OK, this one is proving difficult. I’ve been through trauma and these wounds do not really go away.
You have the privilege of combating them, understanding them, making something positive out of them.
If you do it right and you are scientific, yes you can make wounds positive, you can heal them. What
I’ve found recently – and again – is that the old pains can come back especially when you are stressed
– but not as bad as before.
“Someday you’ll appreciate this.”
I don’t appreciate – don’t like – the grief caused our children by our divorce. But I do appreciate that,
being out of the marriage, I can help set the limits we need in order for me to have more healthy
relationships with my children and my Ex.
“You’re better off.”
Yes, 100%. In my own case, divorce gave me – and my loved ones – the space that we may not would
have wanted if the world — and ourselves – were perfect; but that, given those imperfection of
the world and of ourselves, different limits were and are good to have. Now we have space where we
can all be who we are and love one another.
“You’ll be OK.”

4. Here again, I agree, but with a major caveat – you’ve got to work at being OK. It won’t just happen
on its own. Even if you are someone to whom things “just happen” I’ll bet you have to do some sort of
preparation so that “being OK” has a place to land in your life. But, at any rate, yes, you can be OK.
You can be much better off.
“There’s a light at the end of the tunnel.”
In my experience yes it is often the oncoming train; the lesson being that you can take on stress and
grief and situations you would have thought impossible before your divorce. Out of adversity,
strength. Takes work!
“I’m here if you need to talk.”
Here I’d like to thank again the many friends and relations who said this to me, who meant it and
who helped my through my divorce even if only by listening. Everybody has friends and confidants –
well almost everybody! The point is here that even though you may feel like a bill collector
collecting positive feedback from your loved ones trust me they want it, expect it and appreciate your
trust in them in your hours of need.
“I’m sorry.”
Yes you’ll hear this even from complete strangers. It may be all they can say but it’s still an attempt
to reach out to you and comfort you. A “thank you” is appropriate in return. There are people
who in one way or another love you. Call on them when you have to.
About Author
Jennifer graduated from the University of Minnesota cum laude with a bachelor’s degree in speech
communications. In 2006, Jennifer achieved her life’s dream; owning her own family law practice. She
practices every day as Divorce Attorney MN with the intention of representing her clients’ future.