1. Blood & Fire

2. I walk a thin line between deception and delusion

3. My lies not quite lies, my half truths I almost start to believe myself. I would do everything differently. How sad is that? I have bound myself to this construct.

4. I am a in this form. prisoner

5. I feel like running like fighting my way out

6. I'm a blank slab hoping some lonely artist will just so much as spill some paint on me. a mistaken brush stroke a drip of paint out of place.

7. a blue print for some lost masterpiece never to be finished. Anything to define me.

8. But the truth is we will scream and howl and shake our cage…

9. but even if the door becomes unlatched we wont step outside of it.

10. We have grown to love our bonds.

11. and we the wanderers love them Some people revel in the cage... because we secretly admire their contentment. we hope they are willing to venture into uncharted territory with us... but they never will.

12. so we wait, & silently rage, & shake our cage until the day, if it ever comes, we are able to step outside and run.

13. I spent some of the best years of my life apologizing. Even when I had nothing to be guilty for, I felt remorse. What is this guilt that has been taunting my existence since childhood?

14. When I realized this, I cultivated the ideal of living with no regrets. I think I'm starting to forget the way.

15. So I stay, with this fire in my chest. Trying to dull the flame with the smoke of tobacco & other herbs with my fast friend whiskey

16. with lustful thoughts of unknown lovers

17. And Yet tempting it by playing on the edge of propriety. The more I play on that edge the more I enjoy the feeling. The more that fire makes me feel alive.

18. I hate myself a little for trying to put it out. I hate myself more for not being able to.

19. I fear I will be filled with this wanderlust forever. I fear and revel in this secret of mine. The one that will kill me. The shadow that I will never let go of.

20. the realization comes to me now If I stop recognizing its existence that perhaps if I stop my artistic endeavors then I will finally become a man worthy of love. the fire will die.

21. not being worthy of love is a fate I feel is worse than death however. I feel the same about becoming the man I am suggesting I become.

22. This conflict is the origin of the inscription on my right wrist… Nomad. I have no place to lay my head no peace to be had.

23. The question of So I make do with what I have where it will take me fills me with wonder and continue the journey. and fear.

24. The question of where it will end… Nomad. I am consistently reminded by this brand:

25. a man with no home to tread the earth to wander forever without ceasing.

26. Partners in crime, tempting the beast within. With Love & Admiration, Serafin