1. First Date Sex- What comes first, the sex or the relationship?
Everyone has an opinion when it comes to first date rules. To have sex or to not have sex, truly is the
question on every woman’s lips. A lot has changed in the dating world in the last 40 years. Courting
has become a thing of the past, our innocence has deteriorated and romance is an urban myth.
I believe that the advent of social networking and advancement in telecommunications has a huge
role to play in this. This tool has eliminated the need for getting to know someone face to face. After
tweeting, friending and ‘poking’ someone for a short time has us all believing we know someone a
lot more than what we actually do.
1961 was a year that massively impacted on women and their relationships with men. This was the
year the contraceptive pill became available to all. This gave women the choice of who and when to
court and settle down, making the providers, the men appear disposable. Thus, fuelling a disposable
society. Last season’s clothes? Throw them! Your jobs too difficult? Change it! You and your partner
are not getting along? Trade him in!
One thing that hasn’t changed is the stigma that is attached to sex on a first date. If a man has sex on
the first date he is considered a modern day Lothario, women, on the other hand, as dirty and
unsuitable for long term relationships.
In an ideal world, having sex on the first date shouldn’t be frowned upon. If you feel that connection
with another, you should be able to live for the moment with no regrets and it still turn into
something more than just sex. Sometimes, that is the case and is always nice for us women to hear.
However, most of the time, it isn’t and you just become another notch on his bed post.
Depending on what you are after, there can be some great reasons to just go for it on a first date.
Women are known to love sex just as much as men do, if not more. Why should we let society
dictate what and who we can and cannot do. It is our body after all. Another reason I can relate to is
the discovery of sexual chemistry. This is extremely important in any relationship, so before feelings
develop too much, you may want see if it is there before investing your time in someone
‘unnecessarily’.
However, I do genuinely believe that a relationship based on sexual relations has not had the chance
to grow and blossom into something deeper and meaningful and is more likely to fail the test of
time.
If women want to keep a man for the long term, they have to abide by the unspoken rule of delayed
gratification, no matter how you feel.