Workshop focuses on questioning paradigms through self-reflection

1. We are supposed to wear no HAT right now of our roles played in our company & yet stay
connected.
2. During the workshop, we request no cross talking & interactions with except the trainer.
3. Whenever we are discussing any particular Concept or Behaviour; all of us are requested to
stay on the same subject & not move their concentration on another concept or behaviour.
4. Kindly keep your mobile phones switched off or on SILENT mode during the workshop.
5. There are no “WRONG QUESTIONS” in the world. You can ask as many questions as you
want from the TRAINER but during the breaks so that we maximize the learning time.
6. This workshop is not to point fingers or question any one of us & yet it aims to questions the
way we do things in simplest example terms. Its aimed at INTROSPECTION & SELF –
INVESTIGATION.
7. The workshop is inter-active (NOT BRAINSTORMING) & you can stop the TRAINER anytime
to request any point which you want to be explained further. However, to discuss details we
request you to discuss the same anytime during BREAKS or during DINNER time.
6. All suggestions on Contents, Overview, Usage are welcome to the TRAINER on email.

PARADIGMS
• DEEP ROOTED – CONDITIONING
• A FIXED (RIGID) PATTERN of THINKING, FEELING &
DOING

PARADIGM SHIFT
•

In 1962, Thomas Kuhn fathered, defined and popularized the
concept of "paradigm shift".

•

Think of a Paradigm Shift as a change from one way of
thinking to another.

•

It's a revolution, a complete transformation.

•

It just does not happen, but rather it is driven by agents of
change.

De-Mystifying Paradigms
All Paradigms comprises of the following 4 Strong Ps:1.
2.
3.
4.

PEOPLE – PARENTS, PEERS, TEAM, TEACHERS, GUIDE etc.
PROFESSION – WORK CULTURE, ORGANIZATION (N YEARS)
PHILOSPHY – VALUE SYSTEM, BELIEFS & FAITH etc.
PERCEPTION – CULTURE, UP-BRINGING, SITUATION etc.

1.

There are no perfect PARDIGMS. PARADIGMS can’t be perfect. If they are
GROWTH will stop. It has to always be about progress & continuous
change.
Any individual after “N” years of conditioning becomes arrogant about
his/ her RIGHTS & WRONGS. This can be the beginning of “GROSSLY
MISSING” on what they obviously need to CORRECT.
Every Individual be it a SENIOR LEADER or a MANAGER or a
SUPERVISOR must allow questioning their PARADIGMS after “N” years.
The N has to be decided based upon their PERFORMANCE/ RESULTS
Versus AMBITIONS/ INSIRATION.
The Higher the Individual would be in his/ her career, the tougher the
challenge of PARADIGMS.

2.

3.

4.
5.

A group of scientists placed 5 monkeys in a
cage and in the middle, a ladder with bananas
on the top.

Every time a monkey went up the ladder, the
scientists soaked the rest of the monkeys with
cold water.

After a while, every time a monkey went up the
ladder, the others beat up the one on the
ladder.

After some time, no monkey dare to go up
the ladder regardless of the temptation.

Scientists then decided to substitute one of the
monkeys. The 1st thing this new monkey did was to
go up the ladder. Immediately the other monkeys
beat him up.

After several beatings,
the new member learned
not to climb the ladder
even though never knew
why.

A 2nd monkey was substituted and the same occurred.
The 1st monkey participated on the beating for the 2nd
monkey. A 3rd monkey was changed and the same was
repeated (beating). The 4th was substituted and the
beating was repeated and finally the 5th monkey was
replaced.

What was left was a group of 5 monkeys that
even though never received a cold shower,
continued to beat up any monkey who
attempted to climb the ladder.

If it was possible to ask the monkeys why they would beat up
all those who attempted to go up the ladder…..
I bet you the answer would be….
“I don’t know – that’s how things are done around here”
Does it sounds familiar?

"Only two things are infinite:
The universe and human
stupidity. And I am not so sure
about the former."
Albert Einstein

Individual
paradigm
formation?

ASPIRATION & ATTITUDE –
IDEAL SITUATION
ATTIUDE
BALL –
The
Enabler or
The Enemy

1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.

ASPIRATION–
THE BIG PICTURE

ATTITUDE & ASPIRATION – EXTREME SYNERGY.
Enables actions to accomplish VISION.
PERFORMANCE is ABOVE AVERAGE to EXCEPTIONAL.
The Person is ALIGNED with ASPIRATION.
ATTITUDE ensures a perfect alignment in PERFORMANCE & ASPIRATIONS.
An individual bound to succeed with his/ her ASPIRATION.

ASPIRATION & ATTITUDE –
ASPIRATION –
CHALLENGE SITUATION
THE BIG
PICTURE
ATTITUDE
– The
Enabler or
The Enemy

1.

2.

3.

ASPIRATION –
THE TWISTED
&
COMPRESSED
PICTURE

4.

5.

ASPIRATION &
ATTITUDE – LITTLE
or NO SYNERGY.
ATTITUDE disables
actions to
accomplish
ASPIRATION.
PERFORMANCE is
BELOW AVERAGE
to ABOVE
AVERAGE.
ATTITUDE disrupts
alignment in
PERFORMANCE &
RESULTS.
An individual bound
to fail with his her
ASPIRATION.

CHALLENGE - PARADIGMS
•
•
•
•
•

PARADIGM of COMMUNICATION
PARADIGM of CAPACITY & CHANGE
PARADIGM of ATTITUDE
PARADIGM of LEADERSHIP
PARADIGM of EQ – Emotional Intelligence

Communication is a Series of Experiences of

Hearing

Smell

Seeing

Touch
Taste

Non-verbal
We learn :-

* By touch -1.5%
* By taste - 1.0%
* By Smell - 3.5%
* By hearing - 7.0%
* By Sight
- 87%

Seeing is not believing every-time?

TOTAL COMMUNICATION PROCESS
Writing
9%

Speaking
30%

Reading
16%

Listening
45%

How the LISTENER infers you on what is
being said?
• 7% WORDS
– Words are only labels and the listeners put their
own interpretation on speakers words

• 38% PARALINGUISTIC
– The way in which something is said - the accent,
tone, dressing sense, perceptions, tone and
voice modulation is important to the listener.

• 55% BODY LANGUAGE
– Speaker’s usage of the body parts while
delivering a message affects the listener’s
understanding the most & at the highest level.

Fast Facts
• We listen at 125-250 wpm, think at 10003000 wpm
• 75% of the time we are distracted,
preoccupied or forgetful
• 20% of the time, we remember what we
hear
• More than 35% of businesses think
listening is a top skill for success
• Less than 2% of people have had formal
education with listening

Spread of your Average Mode
of Communication in a Day
Mode of
Communication

Percentage of
Time Used

Formal Years
of Training

Writing

9%

12 years

Reading

16 %

6-8 years

Speaking

30%

1-2 years

Listening

45%

0-few hours

5 Basic reasons we Do Not Listen

•
•
•
•
•

Listening is Hard Work
Competition
The Rush for Action
Speed differences
Lack of Training

Hearing = physiological
Listening = psychological

4 Types of Listeners
•
•
•
•

The Non-Listener
The Marginal Listener
The Evaluative Listener
The Active Listener

Active Listening (4 Steps)
1. Listen
2. Question
3. ReflectParaphrase
4. Agree/ Dis-Agree
(Negotiate – WinWin) – LATERAL
THINKING is
POSSIBLE

Step 1: Listen
• To Feelings As Well As Words
– Words – Emotions -- Implications

• Focus on Speaker
– Don’t plan, speak, or get distracted

• What Is Speaker Talking About?
– Topic? Speaker? Listener? Others?

• Look At Speaker
• Use Verbal & Non-Verbal Encouragers

Step 2: Question
• 3 Purposes
– Demonstrates you are listening
– Gather information
– Clarification

• Open-ended
– Tell me more?
– How did you feel?
– Then what happened?

Step 3: Reflect-Paraphrase
• Reflect What Is Said (In your words)
• Reflect Feelings
• Reframe
– Capture the essence of the communication
– Remove negative framing
– Move toward problem solving

Step 4: Agree
• Get Speaker’s Consent to Your Reframing
• Speaker Has Been Heard and Knows It!
• Solution Is Near!

The Power of Listening
ACTIVE LISTENING & LATERAL THINKING ABILITY

TIME FOR A TEST!!!!

Activity
• Speaker – talk for 2
min.
• Listener – listen using
the skills we’ve
discussed
• Observer – observe
the application of the
skills and take notes

Obstacles to Listening
• Selective Listening –
– Pay attention to interests
– Sort info on basis of what already know schemata
• External Obstacles
– Overload, complexity, noise

• Internal Obstacles
– Preoccupation, prejudgment, lack of effort, not
recognizing diverse listening styles

• Non- listening

TYPES OF BODY LANGUAGE
Remember that you are dealing with “PEOPLE”

• (P)OSTURES & GESTURES

– How do you use hand gestures? Stance?

• (E)YE CONTACT

– How’s your “Lighthouse”?

• (O)RIENTATION

– How do you position yourself?

• (P)RESENTATION

– How do you deliver your message?

• (L)OOKS

– Are your looks, appearance, dress important?

• (E)XPRESSIONS OF EMOTION

– Are you using eye movements/ facial expressions/ hand
movements to express emotion?

Power

“Everyone is a mirror image of yourself—
your own thinking coming back to
you”
- Byron Katie

Home

Understanding capacities and
competencies
Potential

Capacity
Competency

Capacity = Demonstrated competencies
+ Unrealized potential

The four fundamental capacities are learning,
thinking, relating and acting

Capacity of Thinking (IQ)
Capacity to think comprises of analysis,
creativity & innovation and a
combination of both i.e. judgment

Analysis is about
asking the right
questions and breaking
complex things into
simpler things

Creativity and
Innovation is about
generating new thoughts
and breaking the existing
patterns of thought
Judgment requires a combination of
both, this is what helps us take quality
decisions

Capacity Of Relating (EQ)
 The capacity to relate requires the ability to
empathize, the ability to listen with warmth and
respect, and a combination of both i.e, the
capacity to build trust

Ability to Listen with
warmth and respect.
Active listening is free of
biases,evaluation and
pre-conceived notions

Trust requires a combination of both
empathizing and listening. It’s about
authenticity, openness and genuineness

Empathizing is the
ability to put
oneself in someone
else’s shoes(by
getting out of our
own shoes)

Capacity of Actions (Doing)
The capacity to act is about organizing one’s time
and resources so that we convert our intentions into
reality (planning)

Organizing one’s
time and resources
so that we convert
our intentions into
reality

delegation,attention
to detail and focus on
the right process
build capacity to
implement

Working under pressure and time constraints and the
ability to handle multiple tasks without negative stress

Capacity of Learning or Being (SQ)
This capacity consists of three dimensions, namely introspection,
reflection & contemplation and flow.

Willingness to look back
and learn; ability to learn
from mistakes and
identify areas of
improvement

Observing one’s own
thoughts, actions and
emotions/feelings and
using the awareness to
improve further and
perform better

Ability to get into a new experience with
an open mind and flow with the
experience. The child like ability to derive
joy out of learning

PARADIGMS are CHALLENGED when:1. There is a a life changing event
2. The CONDITIONING is QUESTIONED
3. There is a STRUGGLE
• CATERPILLAR – BUTTERFLY
• BEETHOVEN – MUSIC
4. Create a Mis-Match by Design - Aspirations are
ahead of Resources

5. There is INTERNAL MOTIVATION

“Remember, training is not
what is ultimately important…

Change is.”
ARE YOU CHANGE READY!!!

TIME FOR ANOTHER TEST!!!!

LEVELS OF LEARNING (Individual & Organizational)

4

HABIT &
CULTURE

Unconscious

3

Competence

Conscious
Competence

2
Conscious

1

Incompetence

Unconscious
Incompetence

SHIFT

CREATING MAGIC THROUGH SYNERGY

Paradigm Shift – The Process
Politics/ Attempt to
De-Rail Change
Denial/
Resistance

Awareness & Planning
What is expected of me post
CHANGE?
CHANGE
What is next for me?

Gossip/
Rumours
Development Planning
What should I develop?
Reactions/
Emotional
Outbursts
Coaching & Feedback
How am I doing?

Recognition & Appreciation or
Criticism – Learn & Un-Learn
Have I understood CHANGE?

Assessment
How did I do?

Home

JOHARI WINDOW - Blind & Hidden Areas are your
enemies

Known to Self
Known
to Others

Not
Known
to Others

Not Known to Self

Open

Blind

Hidden

Unknown

THE ICEBERG
HOW MUCH DO YOU SEE OF AN ICEBERG?

THE ICEBERG
ONLY 10% OF
ANY ICEBERG
IS VISIBLE.
THE
REMAINING
90% IS BELOW
SEA LEVEL.

THE ICEBERG
VISIBLE
ABOVE SEA LEVEL

10 %
SEA LEVEL

INVISIBLE
BELOW SEA LEVEL

90 %

THE ICEBERG
• The Iceberg phenomena is directly
applicable to us human beings …

THE ICEBERG
KNOWN
TO OTHERS & SELF

KNOWLEDGE
&
SKILLS

UNKNOWN to
OTHERS &

Sometimes to SELF

ATTITUDE

SEA LEVEL

THE ICEBERG
• In other words,

THE ICEBERG

KNOWN
TO OTHERS & SELF

BEHAVIOR
SEA LEVEL

UNKNOWN to
OTHERS &

sometimes to SELF

VALUES – STANDARDS – JUDGMENTS

ATTITUDE
MOTIVES – ETHICS - BELIEFS

Don’t Forget - JOHARI WINDOW
Known to Self

Not Known to Self

Known
to
Others

Open

Blind

Not
Known
to
Others

Hidden

Unknown

Home

YOU CAN BE A LEADER
Ir-respective of:1.Zero Team
2.Your Age
3.Your Grade/ Level
4.Your Experience
5.Your In-Experience
6.Your Designation

Leadership Qualities
1. Never say “I Quit”
• Do you have the ability to persist & persevere?
• Do you have the courage to withstand all failures & roadblocks?
• Would you in a crisis - Step up, Rise and defeat the crisis?
2. Build Team (People who will stand together during good or
bad times)
• Getting people to work together can be done by anyone.
• To make them work as a team is what matters in any game of life –
profession or sport or anywhere with people at the backdrop.
• Building a team is no cake walk & certainly not the easiest of goals. It
requires a leader to take risks. Risk of personal sacrifice & doing the undone & thinking the un-thinkable.
• Team Building requires taking risks & the first principle of leadership is
making different people un-like each other work as a unit, as a family as a
cohesive force called as a “Team”.


•
•
•
•

3. Raise the bar – Forever
– Who said there is something called as a TARGET/ GOAL?
– Once you reach a goal, it doesn’t mean “The End”, it just means a
milestone is finished but then that’s not all.
– After a goal, you can enjoy, reflect, learn, un-learn & move on to
set another goal.
– The pursuit of perfection is not in its attainment but in the journey
4. Stand by your convictions
Leadership is not always about consensus.
It is also about suspending popular judgments for a strong personal
vision.
It is about standing up for the belief you strongly possess &
recognizing the talent within the un-explored facets of your team.
It is about doing the right thing even when the consensus is against
the same.

5. Leadership is more about

“Pull” than “Push”

• Are you able to respond with Patience to aggressive behavior?
• Is your usual approach to aggression - more responsive aggression?
• Do you think you can always get work done only by pushing people?
• Metaphor of Push Versus Pull – Volunteers Please!!!
6. Leadership’s most critical aspect - Problem Solving Ability
– Do you find PROBLEMS or do you look for SOLUTIONS?
– Do you look for ALTERNATIVES when blocked by any issues or wait
for seniors to act?

7. Have Faith in people & Believe in them
– Surprisingly, everyone of us has a small child hidden inside.
– Everyone of us likes to be acknowledged, recognized, appreciated &
loved for.
– You’d be pleasantly surprised with what your people can do for you if
you have faith in them.
– A good leader doesn’t get in-secure if his/ her team member is
appreciated.
– People don’t leave us for money, they find money as the reason when
we don’t give them anything else in abundance.
– The anything else is care, appreciation, acknowledgement,
recognition & support.

8. Passion
– Are you Passionate about something?
– Are you really in touch with your SPIRIT,
THOUGHTS, FEELINGS & ACTIONS?

Home

Before we move ahead please note that:

• IQ means intelligence quotient
• EQ means emotional quotient
• EI means emotional intelligence

Emotions And Their Blends:
•
•

•
•
•
•
•

Anger: fury, outrage, resentment, annoyance,
hostility.
Love: acceptance, friendliness, trust,
kindness, infatuation.
Shame: guilt, remorse, humiliation, regret.
Fear: anxiety, nervousness, apprehension,
terror.
Enjoyment: happiness, joy, relief,
contentment, pleasure.
Sadness: Grief, sorrow, cheerlessness,
gloom.
Surprise: Shock, astonishment, amazement
wonder.

EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE IS: -

1. OUR CAPACITY TO RECOGNIZE OUR OWN FEELINGS FOR OTHERS

2. AND HOW WE MANAGE OUR OWN FEELINGS WITHIN OUR SELF

Are we giving EQ education in schools /colleges
• NO. Our educational system gives stress on IQ and not on EQ. We are
taught History, Hindi, English, Geography, Physics, anthropology,
Botany, Computers, Medicine, Engineering etc.
• We are NOT TAUGHT how to handle frustration, anxieties, stress,
failure, depression, burnout, inferiority complexes, ego problems
• We are not told to learn how to manage emotions i.e.; interaction,
coordination, Adjustment, communication

WE ARE EXPECTED TO LEARN ALL THESE FROM OUR PARENTS, PEER
GROUP OF OTHER ROLE MODELS who in turn might themselves have
EQ as a major challenge of their PERSONALITY

At the later stages of our lives we are told to master emotional
competencies to be SUCCESSFUL.
We are not taught how to fight Recession, Job Loss, Death, Depression,
De-Motivation, Fear etc.

IQ v/s EQ
(Intelligence Quotient v/s Emotional Quotient)

• The research shows that IQ
can help you to be
successful to the extent of
20 percent only in life. The
rest of 80 percent success
depends on your EQ & SQ

20%
IQ
80% EQ

Then What is Success ????

THE PROFESSIONAL SUCCESS

GETS YOU HIRED

GETS YOU FIRED/
PROMOTED

IQ versus EQ
• IQ predicts success at school
• IQ on average predicts only 10% of
success on the job
• IQ is fixed, and peaks in the late teens
and early twenties.
• IQ is culturally bound
• IQ cannot be developed

Characteristics of a low EQ Person
“If only I had a different job … …”
“If only I had finished graduation … …”
“If only I had been handsome/beautiful …”
“If only my spouse had stopped drinking …”
“If only I had been born rich and famous…”
“If only I had good contacts…”
“If only I had better friends …”
“If only I had married someone else …”

Characteristics of a High EQ Person
• A time to wait and a time to watch,
• A time to be aggressive and a time to be passive,

•
•
•
•
•
•
•

A time to be together and a time to be alone,
A time to fight and a time to love,
A time to work and a time to play,
A time to cry and a time to laugh,
A time to confront and a time to withdraw,
A time to speak and a time to be silent,
A time to be patient and a time to decide.

Two battleships assigned to the training squadron had been at sea on maneuvers in heavy
weather for several days.
I was serving on the lead battleship and was on watch on the bridge as night fell.
The visibility was poor with patchy fog, so the captain remained on the bridge keeping an
eye on all activities.
Shortly after dark, the lookout on the wing of the bridge reported, "Light, bearing on the
starboard bow." "Is it steady or moving astern?" the captain called out.
Lookout replied, "Steady, captain," which meant we were on a dangerous collision course
with that ship.
The captain then called to the signalman, "Signal that ship: We are on a collision course,
advise you change course 20 degrees.“
Back came the signal, "Advisable for you to change course 20 degrees.“
The captain said, "Send, I'm a captain, change course 20 degrees."
"I'm a seaman second class," came the reply. You had better change course 20 degrees."
By that time the captain was furious. He spat out, "Send, I'm a battleship. Change course 20
degrees.“
Back came the flashing light, "I'm a lighthouse.“
We changed course.

Make a difference wherever you go?
Be significant – stand firm & yet allow the storms
to pass by “YOU”. Be a Lighthouse

Real capacity is explored when
THINKING-HEAD
there is an alignment between
IQ

BEING-SPIRIT
SQ

DOING-BODY
Actions

FEELING-HEART
EQ

“Learning how to learn
is life's most
important skill.”

– Tony Buzan
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Workshop focuses on questioning paradigms through self-reflection

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