TRENDS IN ONLINE DATING

TRENDS IN
ONLINE DATING
MMODIFICATION
GHOST
MISO
INCREASED DATING POOL
ORATION

Nascent to the space. Consumers are just
starting to show signals.
Emerging
Low consumer awareness, but this trend
is having a direct effect on 30% plus of the
population.
Tipping Point10% adoption 30% adoption
It’s becoming a more generally adopted trend
amongst consumers.
Mature
Commonly known to the average consumer. If
someone was asked if they recognize the name
of the trend, it would be familiar to them.
Very Mature40%-60% adoption 60%+ adoption
TRENDS LEGEND TRENDS MATURITY
BEHAVIOUR
Service
MORAL

ThE TRENDS
COMMODIFICATION
GHOSTING
MISOGYnY SHAMING
INCREASED DATING POOL
UBLIC EXPLORATION

1. COMMODIFICATION
The need to turn people into products by necessity based on the high volume of options being
presented which is causing an overload and difficulty focusing. Filtering out partners based on
physical traits that would not be viewed as a deficit in the real world. From a few extra pounds to
education to wardrobe, the “Filters” we are applying to online dating is defining our markers for a
mate that weren’t an issue previously. This trend involves subconscious and conscious actions that
cause us to eliminate people from the online dating pool based purely on physical and status based
traits.
• People who are more revealing in their online dating profile pictures get more messages (5)
• People that are rated more attractive get up to 90 % more messages. (5)
• Software that programs bots to scan dating site profiles 24 hours a day have been growing in
numbers over the last two years. (18h).
• Instagram accounts like BYEFELIPE highlight men treating women like objects. (4i).
• Women rated as highly attractive get 28 times more messages than women rated on the lower end
of the hotness curve. (5)
SIGNALS
Since humans could see we have been categorising and assessing people though a visual lens. In
2015, we have taken to hyper commodifying everything from physical attributes, social standing,
education, likes, dislikes and many other things. Currently 15% of relationships start online, and the
number grows every years. If we continue down the path that online dating is currently leading us,
it could impact the depth of intimacy we are able to have with our partners. The primary filter to
our interactions with people will not be chemistry, friends to help with the matching process, but
it will be a quantification of how many dating markers they meet through our online criteria. This is
dangerous because humans are flawed. We are imperfect creatures that don’t always display the
best suitability from the onset, but could be the perfect match for a person whos filter is to narrow to
let the unlikely in. The unlikely that could end up being a great life partner, friend and confidant.
IMPLICATIONS

2. GHOSTING
The pervasive act where one dater ends a relationship by disappearing. The ghost does not give
an explanation of any sort, leaving the ghosted wondering where he or she went wrong. It is the
evolution of ending dates by phone, text message or by written word that has been taking place
since dating was a convention. In the past, we broke up with people in person, via phone and
sometimes by written letter. We then added via social media channels, emails and text and now
people are just disappearing. They delete connected social media profiles, don’t accept phone
calls, texts or emails and cease all communication with the other party. Often people will go to
the length of changing their social media profile names, change their phone numbers and block
partners phone numbers.
• People dating for longer periods of time before getting serious.
• Polls show about 11 percent of Americans has ghosted someone. (20h).
• 16.7 percent of men and 24.2 percent of women had been ghosts at some point in their lives.(17h).
SIGNALS
In an effort to preserve our own happiness and emotional stability, we are increasingly ridding
ourselves of all empathy we would normally have for a partner during the break up process. If we can
avoid sharing pain, why wouldn’t we? By engaging with potential partners in the same way we order
food, we have begun to introduce a sterility into the world that was almost exclusively emotional.
Rather than sitting with a person to explain how they feel and talk through the process with their
partner, they are opting for complete and total abandonment from what could have been a strong
and reciprocal exchange of emotions and vulnerability between two people. The normal empathy we
would feel for a partner we are dating when we want to part ways is morphing and they are turning
into a profile or a commodity, as that’s how we are increasingly engaging with people on dating apps
that are similar to the process of ordering food.
People may become more ambivalent and distrustful amongst daters if ghosting continues. Fear
of rejection in the average person is normal; add to that the potential of allowing yourself to be
vulnerable and open with someone, only to be rejected with no empathy, explanation from the other
party and it’s certain people will adapt to preserve their emotional stability.
IMPLICATIONS

3. Misogyny shaming
The public act of calling men out for their hyper mysognistic behaviour on dating sites. With the
diversification of how people are using technology as a tool for dating, there has been a new use for
it to create a public forum for men’s behaviour in the online dating space. Instagram handles like Bye
Felipe and a myriad of Reddit pages are a repository of posts from men not getting the responses
they want, then turning hostile, degrading women for their looks, sexual activities and personal lives.
• Bye Felipe has 356 thousand followers, Facebook conversations, books are addressing the trend.
(19h).
• Tumblr accounts dedicated to publicizing sexist, misogynistic men who treat women online like
pieces of meat, objectify them and show varying kinds of disrespect.
• Talk shows making the subject a main highlight of their programming.
SIGNALS
The act of publicizing the derogatory and negative actions of this group of people spurr’s the
conversation around the topic and creates more awareness. It empowers women who have in
the past passively endured direct or indirect misogyny. If this trend continues, it will ideally set
the stage for younger men and women to look at each other as people, equals, and sexual beings.
IMPLICATIONS

4. INCREASED DATING POOL
The increase in channels people are using to access potential partners has increased the volume of
people we have access to date. From web based platforms like Match.com, eHarmony, and OkCupid
to apps such as Happn, Tinder, and Hinge, people now have access to hundreds of thousands of
more people they can connect with. Since the birth of technology, dating has always found a way
to leverage the different innovations that connected us with each other, but we are now at a stage
where “The medium is the message” couldn’t be more relevant. There are clear signs the mediums
are reshaping the way we interact with each other online. If we don’t take a step back and actualize
our behaviours, we could
• The launch of dating Applications such as: Hinge, HAPPN, Tinder, Private dating Facebook Groups,
Thrinder and others are being launched monthly.
• One-in-five adults ages 25-34 years old have used online dating, but it’s also popular with older
singles, too. (2d).
• Global online dating sites reporting millions of users. Tinder alone generated one billion matches,
800m swipes and 10m matches per day, as well as 300 marriage proposals. 5% of Australia’s
population had a Tinder profile at that point. Freier, A. (May 21, 2015). Tinder mobile app statistics and
revenue. The Business of Apps. Retrieved from http://www.businessofapps.com/tinder-mobile-app-
statistics-and-revenue/
SIGNALS
This trend is under scrutiny. Numbers reported by dating sites are skewed, have been proven to
publish false numbers that include inactive users and often users whose accounts have been
deleted, but the dating sites keep them on file. (Source: Dataclysm). If you take the volume of people
online, there is a larger sum of people to select from than your immediate social network. That being
said, if you personally analyze all those people, a fraction of them actually fit your criteria (Source:
Amy Webb: How I hacked online dating.
It could be said that all these people finding love online would still have otherwise found love
elsewhere. If this trend continues without some critical changes in sub categorization, specialization
and some more honest numbers, daters will become disillusioned and fatigued with the process
of engaging with, spending time getting to know and ultimately investing time that returns no
compatible partner. This process turns them off the active participation in dating and will affect
their success and willingness to be vulnerable. There is also the consideration of corporate interest
in keeping you coming back to the sites. Relationships should be our own, but what happens when
companies have monetary incentives around how they are formed?
IMPLICATIONS
• The increase of people signing up for online dating sites. In 2010, it was estimated that one out of
every five couples got together through online dating. (8)

5. Public exploration of
“Taboo” sexual activities
Sexuality at varying levels, fetishes and personal proclivities have been stigmatized for decades. The
meteoric rise of online dating along with apps around the world has given people a space to find
like minded people and a voice to explore their desires in a public forum that helps to expose the
otherwise behind closed doors topics to an audience who may not share their interests, but will now
know that these sexual activities aren’t as niche and rare as they once thought.
• Young groups of people organizing orgies through Tinder.
• Movies like Fifty Shades of Grey are international best sellers.
• Personal sex toys are gaining in popularity such as the Symbian. (16h).
• The rise of the polyamorous relationship.
• 10 to 15 percent more people are having casual sex in 2012 than in 1996. (15h).
• Men identifying as gender neutral and engaging in bisexual relations.
SIGNALS
For decades, there have been fetish sites, specific sites for particular personal sexual desires, but
only recently have there been open sites like OkCupid, Tinder, Plenty of Fish and others that are
contributing to the normalization of sexual desires and preferences that were once taboo, illegal,
judged and misunderstood. There are negative and positive effects of this trend; positive effect have
been the dialogue that’s opened up about things like Sexual masochism, role playing, bi-sexuality,
being transgendered, a cross dresser or a variety of other personal preferences, some of which are
regarded as disorders. As more people go public about their preferences, others feel the support
and follow suit, educating communities that the preferences might not be as niche as once thought.
The negative effect of this trend could be that the preferences become a novelty and along with the
allocations that are giving them a voice. When the apps lose their subscriber base, the microphone
they had to talk and connect with their communities, the conversation might be compromised.
Ideally more platforms take on the conversations such as Facebook, Twitter, Reddit, etc.
IMPLICATIONS

6. INERTIA
The hyper high volume and speed at which we are able to date now is causing inertia. People are
getting fatigued from meeting high levels of people and giving each of them energy, attention,
intention and some of their intimacy. The repetitive nature of the process along with the fact that
people are coming to the realization that the “matches” they are being presented with aren’t very
accurate.
• Two-thirds of all male messages are written to the same one-third of women on Okcupid.
• There is a rise of business that create bots that will scan dating profiles and send pre-written
messages to people. (14h)
• Data showing a large percentage of online daters automate their messages. “At one point I had sent
about 30,000 Kiss messages to female members in one 24 hour period,” Eros, IT security guy by trade.
(14h)
• The founder of Kip creates an app that LIKES every girl on Tinder to increase his odds.
SIGNALS
If the online dating fatigue trend continues, people will start to look for alternatives. This could mean
the birth or renaissance of other kinds of dating services, like singles parties, vacations, speed dating,
etc. This trend indicates that the sheer volume of options is overwhelming for the average person.
They are trying to simplify the process and secure as many responses as possible. This trend is a
negative one and could further the mentality of commodifying each other in the process of trying
to create an intimate connection. It could also cause people to go off of online dating sites because
people will feel like they aren’t making genuine connections and be wondering if the messages they
are receiving are automated.
IMPLICATIONS

Spending months and months learning the nuances and intricacies of the online dating world has been
insightful and amazing. These do’s and don’ts are researched, certified and I will offer a money back
guarantee if you follow these and they don’t improve your online dating life. *Money back guarantee is
figurative. I will not be giving you money, but am 100% confident the below details will help.
THE ULTIMATE DOs AND DON’Ts*

DOs
The ideal length of a first message is two hundred characters, and you should never use text-
speak, except for those phrases that denote. Page 59. (1) Slater, D. (2013). LOVE IN THE TIME OF
ALGORITHMS: What technology does to meeting and mating. New York. Penguin Books.
KEEP IT SHORT
If you sell yourself with sex, then the context you will most likely be engaged with is sex (2) striking
sexual poses is a very good strategy for achieving increased message volume. Photos showing the
woman doing something interesting, however, such as playing the guitar or scuba diving or walking
through a desert, are more likely to lead to actual conversations, Rudder points out, rather than just
“Hey, nice rack,” which is unlikely to get a reply. (2) Rudder, C. (November 15, 2014(. Dataclysm: Who
We are When We Think No One’s Looking. Toronto. Random House Canada.
Set the context carefully
iPhone users report having more sex than BlackBerry and Android users.
GET AN IPHONE
You would think this one is obvious but people are still hiding their faces and saying things like “I am
a professional who can’t share his/her identity on here. I can share pictures privately. What is the
difference anymore of meeting someone in a bar vs online. Online you get to save a little money and
the 2:00AM beer goggles can be avoided.
Post Pictures

DON’ts
Don’t commit picture fraud, “fib” about your life or god forbid your height. The gig will be up the
minute you meet your potential mate and that deceit, although not malicious or major, will tell the
person you aren’t trustworthy. *Online daters are, on average, two inches shorter and 20 percent
poorer than their profiles claim—Don’t be that “person”.
LIE
If you sell yourself with sex, then the context you will most likely be engaged with is sex (2) striking
sexual poses is a very good strategy for achieving increased message volume. Photos showing the
woman doing something interesting, however, such as playing the guitar or scuba diving or walking
through a desert, are more likely to lead to actual conversations, Rudder points out, rather than just
“Hey, nice rack,” which is unlikely to get a reply. (2) Rudder, C. (November 15, 2014(. Dataclysm: Who
We are When We Think No One’s Looking. Toronto. Random House Canada.
Emotionally purge through wifi
To level the playing field, start your first date dutch.
Set expectations
Almost 42 million adults in the U.S. have been married more than once, up from 22 million in 1980.
Would you not date a divorcee in real life or is your brain trying to make the online search easier
because there are sooooo many people? Probably the latter. Take a chance on people. You never
know!
LIMIT YOURSELF
False abundance or false matches quote “The most frequently cited basis for compatibility is
similarity- as eHarmony believes. But similarity between two people can have as much to do with the
relationship satisfaction as with actual similarity. Second, there is no clear consensus on what kinds
of similarity matter. Page 55, Love in the Time of Algorithm. Eli Finkel, Northwestern University
LOOK FOR THE HIGHEST MATCH
One-third of people who have used online dating have never actually gone on a date with someone
they met on these sites. If you really want to meet someone, try and move from chatting to an in
person meeting within a week if your schedule permits.
WASTE TIME

Rachel Noonan
Strategic Foresight and Innovation (MDes)
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