Recommended
Recommended
More Related Content
Recently uploaded
Recently uploaded (20)
Featured
Featured (20)
Submissive Guide: Wants and Needs - Part 3
- 1. Wants & Needs Series Original Articles by lunaKM Powerpoint by Kallista
- 2. Key Terms/Abbreviations • Sub(abv.) submissive (She’s a good sub.) • Dom/Domme(abv.) Dominant/Dominatrix (She is a good Domme) • D/s. (abv.) Dominant/submissive • Need – Something you must have • Want – Something you would like to have • Maslow’s Hierarchy – A chart designed to explain necessity of healthy human development
- 3. Materials • For this lecture, it is recommended you have the following at hand: • A pen/pencil and paper OR • The Submissive Guide Wants & Needs workbook.
- 4. Purpose • Understanding what you need and want in a relationship can help you understand who you are as a sub. • Being able to differentiate between your needs and wants can help you express your expectations and desires to your current or potential Dom.
- 5. Part 3: Expression of Wants & Needs Series Article “Expressions of Wants and Needs” Workbook exercise 3
- 6. Communicating Your Needs • Knowing your needs and wants is important, but more important than that is sharing them with your Dom. • Communicating your needs will keep your submission transparent and help you determine your partners wants and needs as well. • Remember: Your “needs” are NOT negotiable.
- 7. When to Speak Up • Plan to let your needs be known within the first few weeks of a blossoming relationship. • This helps avoid miscommunication and disappointment later.
- 8. Having the Talk • This can feel like a serious talk, but it’s possible to make it casual and relaxed in nature. • Use some of the conversation starters below to help you articulate what you need and what: • “I really love how you make me feel ___. I need that from you.” • “What’s your idea of the perfect relationship? I’ll share mine, if you share yours.” • “My dream home will have ___ in it, what do you think?” • How important is ___ to you?”
- 9. Exercise 3: Prepare Yourself • Know which needs and wants you want to address. • Look at your list of needs. Read each of them aloud, ‘I need ___” to be fulfilled. How does it resonate with you? How does it rank when compared to the entire list? Perhaps you have some that are wants instead. Feel free to move them. • Now do the same with your wants. Read each aloud. “I want ___ to be happy.” How do these feel? Are you looking for things that are self-serving, materialistic, or impossible to achieve? Perhaps you should remove them, or move them to the back of the list.
- 10. Credits Thank you! Subscribe to the site for more on BDSM, D/s and submission at SubmissiveGuide.com Further conversation on this topic and many others in the Submissive Guide community at: http://fetlife.submissiveguide.com Also, look for subguide on Twitter, Tumblr, Google+ and YouTube