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2. THE CAT

3. THE CAT
Social and aloof the cat pays
no attention to the road while
texting. Expect to get rear-end-
ed by this driver. They don’t
see brake lights even though
they’ll chase a red dot from a
laser pointer for hours.

4. THE DOG

5. THE DOG
Squirrel! Squirrel! Distracted
and in a hurry, they often nip
at your heels, er, bumper and
also increase the chances of
you getting rear-ended.

6. THE PIG

7. THE PIG
Oink! Oink! The pig is, well, a
pig. Chewing up the fast lane
and hogging up good driv-
ing real estate. They refuse to
move over, causing traffic flow
chaos.

8. THE WOLF

9. THE WOLF
We don’t know if these fools
are hurrying to get their next
meal or simply too full of
adrenaline. Usually they are
younger drivers that played
too many racing video games.
They make poor decisions and
engage in reckless driving.

10. THE TURTLE

11. THE TURTLE
Maybe they are insecure about
their driving abilities, scared or
completely self-involved. The
turtle is slow and frustrates
drivers all around them.
Expect mayhem on the high-
way and sporadic lane changes
from other drivers to avoid this
crawling car.

12. THE LION

13. THE LION
Maybe it’s the pride of think-
ing they are king of the jungle,
these folks have no clue that
other drivers exist. They refuse
to use turn signals and think
rearview mirrors were invent-
ed only for looking at them-
selves.

14. THE GIRAFFE

15. THE GIRAFFE
These nosy rubber neckers
can’t drive by a traffic accident
without gawking and swerv-
ing and coming to almost a
complete stop. You’ll often see
multiple rubber neckers cause
an accident within an accident
because they can’t focus on
the road.

16. THE GOOSE

17. THE GOOSE
Honk! Honk! It’s usually a gag-
gle of them in a traffic jam.
Even worse, there’s the lone
goose that pushes on the horn
for any insignificant driving in-
fraction.

18. THE MONKEY

19. THE MONKEY
“ADD ain’t got nothing on me!”
Focusing on the road is not a
priority for this Adderall pop-
per. They think they can drive
safely with a knee while eating,
taking selfies, changing music,
texting, drinking coffee and ap-
plying makeup.

20. THE HORSE

21. THE HORSE
Maybe these beasts of burden
are tired of being ridden all the
time. When they hit the road -
It’s time to raise the roof with
the hoof! Accidents will likely
be caused by a heart attack
while driving or rear-ending
you. They are usually speeding
and changing lanes often.

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