2. Chip Evans, Ph.D. www.theevansgroupllc.com
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UNDERSTANDING MIND MASTURBATION
Mind masturbation. Some people think it's a swear word, but others know it as a psychological
condition that is especially damaging to the stock trader, the strategic thinker, those working in a
leadership role, at work, and really, to all of us. As always we have multiple definitions.
Definition #1: Intellectual activity that serves no practical purpose.
• “The act of engaging in intelligent and interesting conversation purely for the enjoyment of
your own greatness and individuality. Subjects range from the obscure cultural movements in
preindustrial societies to modern day discussions. Either delivered through grand monologues
or subtle conversation orientation, it links large words and random references resulting in
nothing actually being communicated.”
Or
• “The act of engaging in useless yet intellectually stimulating conversation, usually as an excuse
to avoid taking constructive action in your life.”
Definition #2: Non-productive nor practical thinking
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"Mental masturbation is casually bandied about as a pejorative." But what, precisely, does it mean?
Presumably when you mentally masturbate, your thinking is not productive or practical. Just
as certain prudish people would have us abstain from the unproductive ways of onanism, those
who would censor ‘mental masturbation’ believe thoughts should make something. Like semen,
thoughts should be put to use. Thinking is a practice in and of itself and hence is inherently
practical. Thinking is a kind of doing such as, say, running. It’s an activity, unless we say that
running is physical masturbation as it’s not practical. After all, you’re not running to get
anywhere such as the bookstore. The runner might retort that his running makes him more
physically fit which, in turn, makes him happier and healthier. In that sense, running is a
practical activity."
So, is mind masturbation a type of thinking, a precursor to a productive thought, or merely a circular
discussion with no end point?
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JUL. 17, 2012 By DANIEL COFFEEN
3. Chip Evans, Ph.D. www.theevansgroupllc.com
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UNDERSTANDING MIND MASTURBATION
Definition #3: The Evans Group LLC Logic
There are four stages to our consulting logic:
1) It is likely that in the old days when women sat home thinking about the kind of sex they would
really want that they mentally masturbated.
2) If pulling someone on along, tricking, conniving and manipulating them, and enjoying it, it is a form
of mental masturbation. It’s also called playing their banjo, or the slim, slow slide to have them do it
my way.
3) Circular conversations take place between two types of groups:
a) Like personalities or interests (a church group, or help group) that get together to decide
something and end up in a massive circle of babble, arguing over small things, often not even
part of the discussion, changing subjects so that no “deciding something" ever occurs. I call
these bibble babble talk tanks.
b) Company meetings, talk tanks, discussions to solve a problem, but business based. Please read
the rest of the definition of a. and find how a diverse group of people working together on a
specific project or detail can end up in a circle of pain, discussing everything, deciding nothing.
Typically, when an activist member of the talk tank, or group company meeting, takes action to
bring the group back in line they are considered the bully or the guy that won't let the
conversation flow. Much depends here on who is moderating the discussion and if they are
pulling it along and leading it, or if it is free flowing. Free flowing is both controlled and
uncontrolled “chaos theory” dialogue.
4) Recognition, admittance, agreement OR denial argument for free flowing, or shock at being called a
masturbator define Mind Masturbation.
As a consultant we run many think tanks, and/or work on complex procedural issues. In any group we
deal with there is a conscious or subconscious saboteur (a person determined to undermine the
concept). These people consultants can recognize and work with to not manipulate, or simply ask to
leave the group. Mind masturbators can be individuals, or due to poor leadership/moderation, the
group itself.
4. Chip Evans, Ph.D. www.theevansgroupllc.com
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UNDERSTANDING MIND MASTURBATION
Watch yourself as a person, a stock trader, a homemaker, businessperson or employee. Put a silent
witness on your shoulder to watch you. If you ask questions out of the norm of the dialogue, and they
serve no smart change in direction, or if you shift the subject entirely (all in non-social settings) and
begin talking about "the value of physical therapy" within a discussion on "What/Who is a Good Leader"
you have just witnessed Mind Masturbation.
It starts with one, and slowly feeds, and soon the conversation includes "physical therapy." Someone
then mentions "modern medicine" and the subject is diverted again into a masturbatory dialogue. You
might feel good being in the circle, but by being in it you are not part of any solution, and/or
participating in the real dialogue. Most importantly the entire dialogue’s perspective is changed.
Disease means lack of ease. Mind masturbation is a disease. The person is consciously babbling away on
another subject with no parallels, as they are more comfortable, or subconsciously babbling away on
every subject, because they do not know how to have a structured dialogue.
Relate it to internal mind masturbation also, as we are perfectly conditioned to think in circles, never hit
what we should think about, stay in denial, or live out of fear or greed. Regular masturbation is certainly
healthier for you than mind masturbation. And perhaps in our studies of real conditions we will stop
shock at hearing real worlds. There is nothing dirty or deviant about masturbation. It's been done since
the beginning of time.
Physical masturbation affects only the person; mind masturbation can affect a group, and a decision
process.
Chip Evans, Ph.D.
www.theevansgroupllc.com
7 January 2013
