1. hu
Leħen Familji Nsara Awwissu 2013 ● Ħarġa Nru 15
Kummissjoni Familja Naxxar
żuru l-webpage tal-Kummissjoni Familja Naxxar Għafas hawn biex tmur fil-paġna ● e-mail: familjiflimkien@gmail.com
Merħba!
Ir-raġel tiegħi ma jgħinx!
Aħna t-tnejn naħdmu u meta nasal id-dar, nibda nipprepara l-ikla ta’ filgħaxija, iżda r-
raġel jiġi u jpoġġi quddiem it-televixin. Kif nista’ ninkoraġġih sabiex jgħin fix-xogħol tad-
dar?
Ilkoll ikollna xejriet ta’ mġieba li żviluppajna matul is-snin. Uħud minn dawn ix- xejriet huma
utli għall-ħajja miżżewġa (per eżempju li tipprepara l-ikel), iżda xi wħud huma ta' detriment
għaż-żwieġ. Il-problema hija li aħna mhux dejjem inkunu konxji ta' l-imġieba tagħna stess
sakemm xi ħadd ma jiġbdilniex l-attenzjoni. L-importanti hu l-mod ta’ kif inti tiġbed l-
attenzjoni tar-raġel tiegħek!
Tista’ tissuġġerixxi lir-raġel li tagħmlu xahar fejn tirsistu biex issaħħu ż-żwieġ tagħkom. Għid lil
żewġek, "Kont qed naħseb dwarna, u jien ma rridx li nitbiegħdu u li ż-żwieġ tagħna jibred.
Ma rridx li nkun biss mara ordinarja. Irrid li nkun mara eċċezzjonali. Nitolbok li għal dan ix-
xahar tagħmilli suġġeriment kull ġimgħa dwar kif nista’ nkun mara aħjar. U jien nagħtik
suġġeriment dwar kif inti tista' tkun raġel aħjar, u hekk insaħħu ż-żwieġ tagħna. Taqbel li
nsaħħu mħabbitna b’dan il-mod?"Jekk huwa jaqbel, dan jista’ jkun il-bidu lejn bidla
pożittiva. F’waħda minn dawn il-ġimgħat, inti tista’ taqsam miegħu dak li tixtieq li hu
jagħmel meta jasal id-dar. Hekk mhux se jeħodha bħat-tgergir tas-soltu, għaliex flimkien
kontu ftehmtu fuq dan ix-xahar ta' tisħiħ fiż-żwieġ.
Jekk ir-raġel jaqbel li jagħtik suġġeriment kull ġimgħa, iżda mhuwiex lest li jaċċetta s-
suġġerimenti tiegħek, xorta waħda ninkoraġġuk sabiex tkompli u tilqa’ s-suġġerimenti
tiegħu. Qabel ma jgħaddi x-xahar, għandek tara bidla fir-relazzjoni tagħkom.
Adattat minn “My Spouse Won’t Help!” fuq is-sit http://www.5lovelanguages.com
Merħba għall-ħarġa oħra tan-newsletter tagħna. F’din il-ħarġa nitkellmu fuq sitwazzjoni
komuni li nsibu fil-familja tal-lum, fejn kemm ir-raġel kif ukoll il-mara joħorġu mid-dar sabiex
jaħdmu. Ħaġa tajba li l-familji tagħna jaddattaw maż-żminijiet iżda tajjeb ukoll li nagħrfu
dawk il-valuri bażiċi li jibnu w jsaħħu r-relazzjonijiet ta’ bejnietna. Dawn il-valuri ma jinbidlux
mal-moda jew maż-żminijiet! Wieħed minn dawn il-valuri li fil-ħajja mgħaġġla tal-lum qisu li
m’hemmx post għalih hu l-valur tal-paċenzja.
Fiż-żwieġ meta titlef il-paċenzja titlef kollox!
Żvilupp pożittiv hu dak li seħħ permezz tal-
informatika. F’din il-ħarġa nintroduċukom mat-
Twitter account Marriage Works li ta’ kuljum
iwassal messaġġi qosra ħafna, pożittivi u ta’
utilita’ għal-ħajja miżżewġa. Fil-webpage tal-
Kummissjoni Familja Naxxar ssibu lista ta’ sites
oħra li jistgħu jkunu ta’ għajnuna.

2. Patience: Because People Aren't
Perfect
by Dr. Gary Chapman www.5lovelanguages.com
In Western culture, we are not trained to be
patient. We get irritated just waiting for the
computer to boot up. We are also impatient
with people who don't operate on our time
table or waitresses who bring us the wrong
order. And yet, patience is one of the traits
of love. To be loving is to be patient. In a
nutshell: patience is accepting the
imperfections of others.
Patience begins by recognizing that people
are not machines. They have thoughts,
feelings, and they make decisions. Those
decisions do not always please us, but we
must give them the same freedom that God
gives them. To condemn your son for not
going to university will not have a positive
effect on his life. Step back, and give him
freedom to be human.
Isolation is not Patience
Patience does not mean that we do
nothing when others are upset with us. I've
known people who will sit stone-faced and
listen to the ranting and raving of their
spouse and then get up and walk out of the
room with no comment. This is not patience;
it is isolation, it is self-centeredness.
Patience is caring enough to listen
empathetically and with a view to
understanding what is going on inside the
other person. Such listening requires time
and is itself an expression of love. Patience
might mean remaining calm when what the
other person is saying is hurtful. Patience
says, "I care enough that no matter what
you say or how you say it, I will listen and try
to understand."
Positive Patience
When I become impatient, lose my temper,
and spout condemning words to my wife, I
have become an enemy, not a friend. So,
she will likely fight the enemy or flee from
the enemy. So, we have a royal argument
that no one wins, and both of us walk away
wounded, and try to avoid each other the
next few days. All because I was impatient.
On the other hand, had I been patient, I
would have asked questions in an effort to
understand my wife's behaviour. Once I
understand what motivated her behaviour,
I'm more likely to have a reasoned response.
I am now her friend and she responds
positively to a friend. The whole atmosphere
remains positive because I chose to be
patient.
Some recent tweets:
 Spouses who continually grow their friendship
are better able to navigate life's storms as one.
 Genuinely apologizing when you've hurt your
mate adds life to your marriage. Don't let your
ego prevent you from blessing your marriage.
 Beware picking a fight with your mate just
because you're having a bad day. Give God
your problems instead of taking them out on
your mate.
Sign up to Marriage
Works! @mrgwrks
żuru l-webpage tal-Kummissjoni Familja Naxxar Għafas hawn biex tmur fil-paġna ● e-mail: familjiflimkien@gmail.com