William shares his personal experience with bullying during his school years from 1993 to 1995. He was regularly bullied, punched, kicked, and had his possessions taken. This caused emotional and psychological distress. In 1995, he attempted suicide by overdosing on pills but was hospitalized. After being expelled twice for fighting back against bullies, the bullying stopped and William began standing up for himself. He hopes sharing his story can help others who have experienced bullying.

1. Everybody hurts…..
williamotoole.com/everybody-hurts/
William
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Everybody Hurts
Hi folks
Well yesterday was special…
I put a very personal personal blog post out about my experience of bullying during my school years
I got nearly 30 comments!
It was interesting since I have NEVER got so many comments….
I think it is important when you have have been bullied
It’s important to tell the world.
it helps with the healing and it might help other’s who have been bullied too
SO….
I want to connect with you…

2. I want you to understand me…
I want to see how we connect…
Hold on….
Here goes:
I want to take you back…
To 1993..
That’s when the bullying started
Life sucked…
There was very little money coming into the house…
Mum and dad were on benefits…very LOW income…
Things were so bad at one point…
I bought some white ‘pumps’ and wrote ‘NIKE’ on the side them…
That made the bullying far far worse
Yeah..Things were real hard….
Most boys were digging the girls…
I was digging IT ! I would set up the ACORN Archimedes ready for class….
That’s going back! They are retro now…
It was the summer time… I was getting ready for school…
I had a 99% attendance rate..I don’t know why I kept going back to the place..
Just seeing the picture… gives me…lumps in my throat…

3. I can still visualize the school gates
It’s so fresh in my mind..I don’t remember what I done last week!!
I remember walking down the hall .. Past Mr Seddon’s door
Walking past the cloakroom… Memories….
As I am typing this with a lump in my throat…
I am listening to this music this as I type…
It helps when my mind is slightly distracted…
Especially for what I am about to tell you…
Everybody hurts music video
Every day for close on to two years…
I got bullied..Kicked..Punched…
Had things thrown at me…
Even had my personal possessions took from me …
(On more than one occasion)
I would never come home in the white shirt I went to school in…
It would always be muddy and or bloodied
I think because I am tall I seem to have stood out..
So I was a target for the bullies.
I would not fight back…
It just was not in me
So I took the abuse and the batterings…
This continues for several years…
Until the 2nd September…
I was shaving a few of the ‘man’ hairs I had..laugh!
I looked in the back of the medicine cabinet…
I swallowed some of mums tablets…

4. maybe 20 paracetamols…
I felt.. This is it… They CAN’t hurt me now….
So I got to school…
Then started feeling ill….
From memory… just a mo.. need to start the music again…
From memory i started throwing up…
Sitting outside the office/ reception area..
So the head mistress took me in her car to the hospital..
The got me to drink a solution?
A flush i guess…
Before it touched my lips I was heaving…
I don’t know what was worse the flush drink or being sick…
They admitted me into hospital…
They called Mum…
She walked into the cubicle
I cried.. She cried…
I can’t ever remember being so close to mum…
Right at that moment…
it was just me and her….
I have one brother and one sister…
I was in the middle…
I wanted attention…
That’s what they said…
I think I was in for about 5 days or so..
I remember drinking vimto (squash)

5. While watching Micheal Jackson’s ‘Black or white’
I still can’t watch or listen to the song.. it sends me right back…..
Well they sent me home..
They arranged for me to see a counselor …
They would not call her that.. but we all know she was…
Stigma was high then i guess…
I would talk with her maybe 2 hours a week
The school did not mind…
They say it even helped my schooling grades…
I don’t think it did…
I would tell her what had gone on in the week..
How I felt… How they made me feel…
The school would send me home early just because…
Someone said they wanted to BEAT ME UP.
Things normalized for a while…
Then a really funny thing happened…
On the 2nd October..I found my posture…
Well actually twice…
Their had been one boy.. who had been tormenting me for two years…
The effects of the bullying has finally spilt over
He said something to me in craft class and I…
Hurled and OLD HEAVY WOODEN craft board at his head…
Luckily for him it bounced off the glass window’s
The next thing I know I am running…
I am chasing him….

6. I chased him for 10 miles…
Running faster than I ever had in my life….
God knows what would have happened had I caught up to him!
I slowly walked back into the school to a standing ovation…
and a 5 day expulsion…
I did not care… I felt empowered….
I had fought BACK.. Why had I took so long?
I avoid confrontation… I just don’t like it…
Then there was the time in french class..
Ironically the french teacher was called Ms French…
Mark said something to me.. I don’t recall what it was…
As he walked past my chair..I kicked him up his backside HARD…
He went flying across the room…
Again a standing ovation…
Also a 10 day expulsion…
I did not care..I had won…
I was finding myself… I was STANDING up for myself…
At last… Do you know what happened???
The bullied backed away…
I was walking with my head held HIGH…
I was no longer afraid…
The bullies had become afraid of ME…
That felt good! I did not abuse it.
About 6 months later I left the schooling system..
Never to go back… I wished one day I had gone back to close off the old demons…

7. But hey maybe i was never meant to close that door…
At least maybe not yet.
I had done a video about this in another group but I did not go into depth like this…
If I could find the video I would link it above…
I am sure you would like to see the voice behind the text…
I had to get this off my chest.. I have been meaning to do this for a while.
I wish their would have been more support in the schooling system
There was not even any bullying articles.
Today I have had about 2 hours sleep and I can start to feel emotion seeping out of me…
but I choose to keep it in.. It will slowly come out.. I am sure I have much more to tell…
In fact I am considering writing a book… I thought about that the other night in the bath..
Please understand I have wrote this to get things off my chest…To help clear the demons…
We all have them…
Also I want you to understand I am real.. I am a man..
My boys will NEVER go through this…
I will make DAMN sure of it…
Anyway.. I’m going to go and make a coffee now…
I think I need it…
I am not going to do any SEO on this post..
It’s not about SEO… This is about ME.
So there we go… That’s me…
I hope you have managed to read this all the way through…
I welcome your comments good or bad…
I don’t hide anymore…

8. Glory Days!
Robert Hollis on William O’Toole’s Blog
Thank you for reading.
William
P.S I now have a mentor! Hear him talk about life: