How to become a powerful government officer. Tips are given in this presentation.

2. The Fagin School functions
in the underground of a building complex.

3. On entry,
one finds various wall posters
The first poster reads:
Are you a top level administrator in a
government office in India?
The second poster reads:
Do you want to become an all-powerful
officer?

4. The third poster reads:
Do you feel that the rules of your
organisation are an impediment to
your unjust ambitions?
The fourth poster reads:
Do you feel that the Courts interfere
and give just verdicts clipping your
wings, whenever you act ultra vires?

5. Are you an
administrator in a
government office in
India?
Do you want to be
a powerful officer?
Do you feel that
the rules of your
organisaton are an
impediment to
your ambitions?
Do you feel that
the subordinate
officials quote all
the right rules so
that you are not
able to violate
them to favour
anyone?
Do you feel that
the Courts
interfere and give
just verdicts
clipping your
wings, whenever
you act ultra vires?

6. Your
training in
the Fagin
School will
see you rise
up!If your office
rules do not
allow your
unlawful
personal
growth
Do not worry, at all !

7. Our Syllabus
includes
Tackling
court
cases
Takckling
Audit
Tackling
public
opinion
Tackling
political
masters
Tackling
higher
officers
How to avoid
knowledge of Rules,
on record
How to
select
subordinates
How to bend
Rules
Tackling the Rules
Tackling the people

8. Fagin School believes in
teaching with real-life
examples
Filtered incidents with
evidences
Incidents in
Central
Autonomous
Bodies,
Incidents in
Government
Offices.

9. With such motivating
posters,
The Fagin School became a real attraction to the
ambitious officers who believed in self-
promotion using the power and position in the
public sector organisations.
Their preliminary check-up with the officers who
graduated from the Fagin School earlier
convinces them that that School provides them
with practical techniques to commit any kind of
misconduct and crime and escape being caught.

10. There is, therefore, a long queue
of such officers for admission.
But, getting admission there is
difficult as the screening process
is a difficult one to get through.
Today is the first day of the
School, this Fall.

11. The First Day in
the Fagin School

12. Prof. Fagin the
Second
Prof. Fagin II introduces himself
and welcomes the officers
who opted for training in the Fagin School.
He starts delivering his lecture, after initial introductory formalities.
He says,
• “Students! I may say something that you, as senior
officers, know of already in your own departmental
trainings. But, many things you do not know would be
made known to you in this course, because we
provide juicy examples from various departments of
the Central Government.
• We believe in enriching you with knowledge that
would make you omnipotent in your department.
• On joining an organisation, you must identify the
friends and the enemies.”

13. There are four kinds of government
employees:
1. Honest and efficient.
2. Honest but inefficient.
3. Dishonest and inefficient.
4. Dishonest but efficient.

14. • “The officials of the First category are the assets of the
organisation. They benefit the organisation and the
public.
• The officials of the Second category are harmless and
their mistakes do not attract vigilance angle, as there is
nothing to doubt their integrity.
• The people of the Third category have more desires but
less competence. They, therefore, get caught very
easily.
• It is the people of the Fourth category who are
dangerous to the organisation and the society. We, at
the Fagin School, cater only to this segment. We equip
them with more knowledge and sharpen their skills.
• Although this course can do something for the Third
category , we are not able to do, because there is large
number of applications from the Fourth category itself.”

15. Prof. Fagin II
continues,
• “Those who belong to the First and Second Categories are your enemies.
• Those in the third category are your friends.
• Those in the Fourth category are rivals although they happen to be your
subordinates. They have to be tackled by you very cautiously as they
would be ready to work for you not as subordinates but as collaborators.
• Now, identify the people of the First and Second categories and replace
them, at the earliest possible, if they are in the Administration Division or
Legal Division. Post such efficient people to some other wings of your
organisation, like Stores, Purchase, Co-ordination, Reception, etc.,
• Fill up the Administration and Legal wings, only with the people
belonging to the Third category.
• Do not post the people of the Fourth category there in the
Administration. If you do, they may soon be controlling you rather than
your controlling them.”

16. Prof. Fagin II
continues
• “The best service you can get from the
Administration Division under your control, will be
only when you post your subordinates from the
third category.
• They would put up note just the way you desire.
• They would not cite Rules, if those rules are not
according to your liking.
• They would put up note of any kind as per your
dictates. It would, then, be easy for you to harass
any subordinate official. Or to confer a favour on
some other subordinate official.”

17. ‘Fearless to the Strong and
Humble to the Weak’
• said, Edgar Alan Poe.
If you are an officer of the First Category, you would naturally go
for the subordinates of the First Category.
• Your office can, then, stand up to the might of your corrupt higher
officers and political masters;
• Your subordinates will admire you;
• Your service will benefit humanity;
• You will achieve the real purpose of human life.
• But, you will not be able to amass undeserved wealth, you will not
be able to play favourites in recruitments, you will not be able to
award contracts to the people of your choice.
• When you have made up your mind that your choice is to become
a powerful officer in your organisation, so that you can enrich
yourself personally, you should not go by Edgar Alan Poe but only
by our ideas in the Fagin School.

18. • “So, make bonhomie with the officials of the Category III.
They can be easily satisfied if you cater to some of their
mean desires for undeserved promotion and perks, now
and then. Make them realise that but for your patronage,
they would have been in a very lower post. They will, then,
do anything that you want. And, with their assistance, you
can do anything that you like.
• Moreover, It is they who will be caught later, if there is any
investigation, and not you.
• Because the note submitted by them would show that it
was they who had misled you.
• Ensure that they do not put up note citing correct rules
position. They must write only what you want and not
what ought to be written, as per procedure. This is called
the Doctrine of Avoidance of Knowledge. It is our School
which invented this Doctrine.”, said Prof. Fagin II, with
legitimate pride.

19. Outshining the
master
Acquisition of knowledge by the staff-members makes the entire organisation
strong.
But, do not allow that to happen.
Do not give proper training to the staff members on any of their subjects. Then
alone will the subordinates of the Third Category comply with all your unlawful
directions.
Not only that. That will blunt the effectiveness of the subordinates of the First,
Second and Fourth categories, as they stagnate in their knowledge.
In short, your ‘enemies’ and ‘rivals’ should not be supplied with weapons in the
form of knowledge and skill. Your ‘friends’ do not require more knowledge.
Please, therefore, do not waste the government funds for in-house training of
the subordinates. The ignorance of all your subordinates is your strength.
Never allow any subordinate official to outshine you. Curb such people. Harass
them, if possible, so that the others do not try to be smart. After all, your aim to
promote your personal interest and not the public interest.
Informed and enlightened subordinates are the first impediment in your journey
to achieve your personal desires through a post in a public organisation. These
principles constitute the Doctrine of Disarmament.

20. Prof. Fagin II
concludes
• “Okay friends!
• You were taught two doctrines today. What are they?”
• The students replied in chorus, “Doctrine of Avoidance of
Knowledge and Doctrine of Disarmament”.
• Prof. Fagin was happy that his students grasped the contents of
the lecture so fast. He said, “That is good. You have the knack
of understanding things fast. I am very happy. During the next
session, we are going to see how to keep your pliable
subordinates happy, by giving promotion to juniors far below in
the list of seniority.
• You will also see how to frighten and quieten the affected
seniors, by discreet threat that you could do anything, not just
to harass, but even to finish off their career. The entire
organisation will then be under your effective control. Okay?”

21. One of the
participants asks a
question:
• “Mr. Fagin , May I ask a question?”
• “Welcome!”
• “I agree with your suggestions. They do
work, really. But, once the subordinates
come to know of our designs and desires
for malpractices, they do not give respect
to us. They even snigger at us. Can you
suggest some solution for it?”

22. Prof. Fagin II
replies:
• “It is strange that you are concerned about your
respect among the subordinates. Once you make up
our mind to make money out of the post you hold in a
government organisation, you should not bother
yourself about the opinions held by the others about
you.
• They may snigger at you. So what? It is simply
immaterial. What is material is that they should not
act against you. They should not talk against you in
your presence. Because, what maters much more is
the money that comes through your post.
• You must know the following facts:

23. “So, be happy that you are able to emit fear among your subordinates. Do not
worry yourself too much about the loss of respect. You cannot be in the Fourth
and First category at one and the same time. You cannot have the cake and eat it
too.”
“But, your Table says we could emit enormous fear. How come?”, asked a
student.
“Yeah! That is the crux of the entire course. As long as you emit enormous fear
as a superior officer, you are safe with all your misconducts. There are various
techniques to emit enormous fear among the subordinates. We are going see
them again and again and again in this course. But, that is later. Thank you!”
Character of the superior officer Reward from subordinates
Honest and efficient Enormous respect
Honest but inefficient Goodwill and sympathy
Dishonest and inefficient Contempt
Dishonest but efficient Enormous fear without respect.

24. • Prof. Fagin leaves the underground
lecture hall.
• The participants also leave the hall
with determination to enforce, in their
offices, the two doctrines they learnt
today.
• They have resolved to shuffle their
subordinates and not to put efficient
ones in the branches in which they
would be taking unlawful decisions.
They are, now, more eager to attend
the next session.

25. To be contd. in Part II
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