Early design mocks for greeting card market research survey

1. Confidential
Quick Notes to Survey Takers:
• Mock images are cut-and-pasted from Google searches, so they are not uniform or final.
• Design, branding, and logo are in early draft stage.
• For more context on how the images may look once art is commissioned, see notes in the margins.
• Hope you have some fun and enjoy!
1

2. Confidential
“Missing You”
I just wanted to say…
I’ve been missing you.
Notes
• Needs to be pop
art style
• Bullet holes
should match
their
backgrounds
better
• Scope cross
hairs could feel
more retro/60s
Front Inside
2

3. Confidential
“Great to See You”
Front Inside
It was great seeing you
Notes
• Image could
maybe be tighter
on face, with
absurdly large
binoculars
• Image of woman
in towel could
be slightly more
revealing, larger
and more
noticeable, and
cartoon.
• Face should
have a slight
grin, and he
should look
more haggard,
unshaven, hair
tousled, etc.
• Maybe he’s
sweating or
salivating lightly
3

4. Confidential
“I Love Us – Male”
Front Inside
Happy Valentines Day
Notes
• Obviously the
cartoons need to
all match…
• Taped character
should look
much worse,
unshaven, hair
unkempt.
4
I love us.

5. Confidential
“I Love Us – Female”
Front Inside
Happy Valentines Day
Notes
• Obviously the
cartoons need to
all match…
• Taped face
should look
much worse, hair
unkempt, no
makeup.
5
I love us.

6. Confidential
“Great to see you, Flasher”
Front Inside
Great to see you
6
Hope you enjoyed seeing me too.

7. Confidential
“Sorry for Your Loss”
Front Inside
I’m sorry for your loss
Notes
• Image should be
cartoon pop art
• Hair strands
should be a little
bigger/thicker
and more
obvious
• Maybe there’s a
creepy, home-
made looking
dress on it,
possible some
jewelry or other
ornamentation?
• Needs to look
like it’s been
loved and doted
on for awhile.
Finders keepers.
7

8. Confidential
“Roses are red…”
Front Inside
Roses are Red
Notes
• Image should be
cartoon pop art
• Hair strands
should be a little
bigger/thicker
and more
obvious
• Maybe there’s a
creepy, home-
made looking
dress on it,
possible some
jewelry or other
ornamentation?
• Needs to look
like it’s been
loved and doted
on for awhile.
Violets are Blue
I’ve fashioned a hair doll
That smells of your shampoo.
8

9. Confidential
“Thank You, Phone Number”
Front Inside
Thank You
Notes
• He should be
holding a huge
drill and have a
belt tightly
fastened around
his neck.
• His eyes should
be bulging and
his face should
convey extreme
excitement
9
For having a listed phone number.
Mister, I can
hear you
breathing…I’m
so frightened!

10. Confidential
“It’s been ages…”
Front Inside
It’s been ages
Notes
• Image should be
cartoon pop art.
• He should be
wearing
sunglasses and
wielding a
machete and a
bottle of
chloroform.
10
Since you left your house.

11. Confidential
“Happy Birthday…To Me #1”
Front Inside
Happy Birthday
Notes
• Both images
need to be
cartoon pop art
11
To me.

12. Confidential
“Happy Birthday…To Me #2”
Front Inside
Happy Birthday
12
To me.
Notes
• Both images
need to be
cartoon pop art

13. Confidential
“Happy Birthday…To Me #3”
Front Inside
Happy Birthday
Notes
• Need a better
reflection image
of a man either
showering,
shaving, or
toweling off in
his bathroom.
• Should maybe
be looking in
through a
window.
13
To me.

14. Confidential
“Thinking of You”
Front Inside
Thinking of You
Notes
• Tissues and
lotion should be
pop art and look
a bit classier
• They should all
be sitting on a
fancy looking
wooden
nightstand or
end table
14

15. Confidential
“Welcome Home”
Front Inside
Welcome Home
15
To your worst nightmare.
Notes
• Images need to
be cartoon pop
art
• Add unpacked
moving boxes
and clutter (as if
they’ve just
moved in) to the
floor.
• Want this to be
a woman stalker,
so no baclava,
but instead show
her hair and
have her
wearing a clown
mask that covers
just her face.
• In addition to a
knife, she’s also
holding a mace,
with spikes
coming out of
the ball.

16. Confidential
“Troubling times, deep breath”
Front Inside
16
Notes
• Images need to
be cartoon pop
art
• Should have
Stalker
Stephanie
chloroforming a
man and saying
something like,
“Sh-sh-sh-sh-
sh…let it
happen.”
During these troubling
times…
It’s best to just take a
deep breath.

17. Confidential
“Merry Christmas #1”
Front Inside
Merry Christmas
17
But probably not.
Notes
• Images need to
be cartoon pop
art
• Add unpacked
moving boxes
and clutter (as if
they’ve just
moved in) to the
floor.
• Want this to be
a woman, so
instead of a
baclava, she’s
wearing a Santa
hat and fake
beard
• She’s holding an
ice axe and a
bloody ice skate.

18. Confidential
Happy Birthday
Drinks are on me.
“Drinks on Me”
Front Inside
18

19. Confidential
“Merry Christmas, Balls”
Front Inside
Merry Christmas
19
I love your balls.

20. Confidential
Hope you enjoy your
special birthday surprise
Or did I misread the situation?
”Birthday Surprise”
Front Inside
20

21. Confidential
Happy Anniversary
”Anniversary Dick”
Front Inside
21
Hope your dick is ready to do some
investigating tonight.

22. Confidential
Happy Birthday
”Birthday Boobs”
Front Inside
22
To a woman with one amazing rack.
smile

23. Confidential
I’m so sorry…
About how much porn I
still have on VHS.
”VHS Porn”
Front Inside
23
Notes
• Image needs to
be cartoon pop
art.
• Zoom in a little
bit so you can
see names on
tapes.
• Will supply a list
of silly porno
titles.

24. Confidential
Happy Birthday!
Hope you’re grateful on this special
day for running water and Instagram
while millions in Africa starve.
”HBD, Starvation”
Front Inside
24

25. Confidential
Happy Graduation!
Hope you don’t take your education
for granted considering most children
in South America can’t read or write.
”Graduation, Literacy”
Front Inside
25

26. Confidential
Congrats on your Marriage!
Hoping you aren’t one of the 51% that
divorce or 12% that experience
domestic violence.
”Congrats, Marriage”
Front Inside
26

27. Confidential
Happy Birthday!
One year on my birthday, I had to
shoot my best horse.
”HBD, Horse”
Front Inside
27

28. Confidential
Happy Birthday!
One year on my birthday, I got bit by
a rattler. Ended up losing the toe.
”HBD, Rattler”
Front Inside
28

29. Confidential
Happy Birthday!
One year on my birthday, our wagon
train was attacked and my whole
family got scalped.
”HBD, Indians”
Front Inside
29

30. Confidential
Happy Birthday!
One year on my birthday, I fell down
a mineshaft and broke both my legs.
Had to eat my chaps to survive.
”HBD, Mineshaft”
Front Inside
30

31. Confidential
Happy Anniversary!
I was married to my wife Clemmie for
23 years until she done got run over
by a herd of spooked steer.
”Anniversary, Steer”
Front Inside
31

32. Confidential
Wishing you the Happiest of
Birthdays
Did you know that on his birthday, Henry VIII ate
so many Cornish game hens that he collapsed
into a pheasant-induced coma for a fortnight,
what? Quite right, quite right.
”HBD, Henry VIII”
Front Inside
32

33. Confidential
May your anniversary be full
of love and memories
Did you know that on his 40th anniversary,
former Prime Minister Benjamin Disraeli had so
much sexual intercourse, he required urgent
medical attention, what? Indeed he did.
”Anniversary, Disraeli”
Front Inside
33

34. Confidential
Congratulations on the new
family member!
Did you know that Margaret Thatcher was
infertile and tried to be artificially inseminated
over a dozen times, what? Yes, yes, quite right.
”New birth, Margaret Thatcher”
Front Inside
34

35. Confidential
Happy Birthday
You yoga-nazi queefmaster.
“Yoga”
Front Inside
Goodness I love the
smell of my own
farts.
35
Notes
• Image should be
cartoon pop art

36. Confidential
Happy Birthday
You hipster douche nozzle.
“Hipster”
Front Inside
Yeah, so I
started a blog
and it’s all
about my balls.
36
Notes
• Image should be
cartoon pop art

37. Confidential
Happy Birthday
You bearded beer f@cker.
“Beer Snob”
Front Inside
Cheers to
my big beer
and baby
d!ck.
37

38. Confidential
Happy Birthday
You foodie f@ck muppet.
“Foodie”
Front Inside
#wishing I had
some f@cking
#friends today.
38
Notes
• Image should be
cartoon pop art

39. Confidential
Happy Birthday
You Peloton-riding numbnuts.
“Peloton”
Front Inside
I absolutely
cannot feel my
bonch.
39
Notes
• Image should be
cartoon pop art

40. Confidential
Happy Birthday
You paddle boarding
pee pee cheeks.
“Paddle Boarder”
Front Inside
I pee in my
suit almost
every time.
40

41. Confidential
Happy Birthday
You wooly whiskey ball bag.
“Whiskey Snob”
Front Inside
41
My beard smells
like Monkey
Shoulder…and
turds.
Notes
• Image should be
cartoon pop art
• Want to convey an
overly confident
know-it-all bar
tender in a
whiskey bar whose
self-image of a
smooth-talking,
intelligent, man of
the whiskey world,
is quite detached
from the reality
that he is a poorly
paid hipster who
lives at home and
doesn’t bathe.

42. Confidential
Happy Birthday
You wine guzzling tw@t goblin.
“Wine Snob”
Front Inside
42
Mmmm, it’s dry...
Like my
hoo-haw.

43. Confidential
Happy Birthday
To a raging queen.
“Raging Queen”
Front Inside
43
Notes
• Image should be
cartoon pop art

44. Confidential
Happy Birthday
To a gigantic twink.
“Gigantic Twink”
Front Inside
44
Regular Twink
You
Notes
• Image should be
cartoon pop art

45. Confidential
Happy Birthday
To my favorite power bottom.
“Power Bottom”
Front Inside
45
Notes
• Image should be
cartoon pop art

46. Confidential
Happy Birthday
To my dearest flaming fairy.
“Flaming Fairy”
Front Inside
46
Notes
• Image should be
cartoon pop art
• Would prefer a
more traditional
looking fairy,
equipped with a
badass flame
thrower (that
he/she is using)

47. Confidential
Happy Anniversary
Lesbos.
“Lesbos”
Front Inside
47
Notes
• Map should be a
cartoon, remove
all other cities in
Greece other
than Athens, and
all cities in
Turkey
You gals

48. Confidential
Happy Birthday!
I would enjoy licking peanut butter
from anywhere on your person.
”Pets #1”
Front Inside
48

49. Confidential
Happy Anniversary
I look forward to dry humping
your leg this evening.
”Pets #2”
Front Inside
49

50. Confidential
Happy Anniversary
To someone who likes a
good bone as much as I do.
”Pets #3”
Front Inside
50

51. Confidential
Happy Birthday
I am quite fond of your cock.
”Pets #4”
Front Inside
51

52. Confidential
Happy Anniversary
Looking forward to some
doggy style this evening.
”Pets #5”
Front Inside
52
Notes
• Image should be
cartoon pop art

53. Confidential
Happy Anniversary
I love it when you talk dirty.
”Pets #6”
Front Inside
53
Squawk! I took a
mammoth dump in
my cage this
afternoon. Squawk!
Notes
• Image should be
cartoon pop art

54. Confidential
Happy Birthday!
My dad said that when he
stands next to you at a urinal
he feels like less of a man.
”Kids Say Funny Stuff #1”
Front Inside
54

55. Confidential
Happy Birthday!
My mom says that you have
tits for days.
Front Inside
55
”Kids Say Funny Stuff #2”

56. Confidential
Happy Birthday!
My dad said you have an
ass that will not quit.
Front Inside
56
”Kids Say Funny Stuff #3”

57. Confidential
Happy Birthday!
My dad said that when you take your
shirt off he’s worried about my mom
leaving him.
Front Inside
57
”Kids Say Funny Stuff #4”

58. Confidential
Happy Birthday!
My mom says if she had a hall pass
she’d use it on you.
Front Inside
58
”Kids Say Funny Stuff #5”

59. Confidential
Happy Birthday!Front Inside
59
”Kids Say Funny Stuff #6”
My mom says that if my dad had your
biceps they’d still sleep together.

60. Confidential
Happy Birthday!Front Inside
60
”Kids Say Funny Stuff #7”
My dad said with your cheekbones
and jawline he’d have a better life.

61. Confidential
Happy Birthday!
My parents said they’d love to have a
threesome with you some time.
Front Inside
61
”Kids Say Funny Stuff #8”

62. Confidential
Happy Birthday!
My parents say when they grow up
they want a house like yours.
Front Inside
62
”Kids Say Funny Stuff #9”

63. Confidential
Happy Birthday!
My mom said you can really
hang a shirt.
”Kids Say Funny Stuff #10”
Front Inside
63

64. Confidential
Happy Birthday!
My dad is ashamed to
lift weights with you.
Front Inside
64
”Kids Say Funny Stuff #11”