The document discusses the importance of concise writing and its implications for effective communication. It emphasizes that being concise means being minimal yet sufficient to meet audience needs and accomplish the intended purpose, while stressing that concise does not equate to merely being short. The author also highlights the benefits of concise writing, including improved usability and translation efficiency.

1. Write
Tight
(er)
May 21, 2015
Marcia Riefer Johnston
marcia_r_johnston@me.com
@MarciaRJohnston
#ConfabMN
Get to the Point
and Save Millions

2. #ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks

3. #ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
What we’ll cover

4. #ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
What does concise mean (and not mean)?
What we’ll cover

5. #ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
What does concise mean (and not mean)?
Why do I care?
What we’ll cover

6. #ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
What does concise mean (and not mean)?
Why do I care?
How can I write more concisely?
What we’ll cover

7. #ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
What does concise mean (and not mean)?
Fast,
pain-free
technique
Why do I care?
How can I write more concisely?
What we’ll cover

8. #ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
#ConfabMN

9. #ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
#ConfabMN
No
headline?

10. #ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
#ConfabMN
No
headline?
No
bullets?

11. #ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
#ConfabMN
No
headline?
No
bullets? No
verbiage?

12. #ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
#ConfabMN
No
headline?
No
bullets? No
verbiage?
How
concise!

13. #ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
“Most often I talk about content
as text because text is
everywhere … text is different …
text is messy as hell.”
—Kristina Halvorson
Content Strategy for the Web

14. #ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
What does concise not mean?

15. #ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
What does concise not mean?
Short

16. #ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
What does concise not mean?
Short
Why?

17. #ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks

18. #ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks

19. #ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
“A good speech
[read, your text]
should be like a
woman's skirt;
long enough to
cover the subject
and short enough
to create interest.”
—Winston Churchill

20. #ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
Make text, like a skirt,
as long as needed.

21. #ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
Not robospeak.

22. #ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
Not robospeak.

23. #ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
Not robospeak.
Push button.

24. #ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
Not robospeak.
Push button.
Push the button.

25. #ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
Not robospeak.
Keep the the.
Push button.
Push the button.

26. #ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
What does concise mean?

27. #ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
What does concise mean?
Minimal

28. #ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
What does concise mean?
Minimal
What?

29. #ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
Minimal

30. #ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
Enough to meet your
audiences’ needs
Minimal

31. #ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
Enough to meet your
audiences’ needs
Enough to accomplish
your purpose
Minimal

32. #ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
Enough to meet your
audiences’ needs
Enough to accomplish
your purpose
No more
Minimal

33. #ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
Enough to meet your
audiences’ needs
Enough to accomplish
your purpose
No more No less
Minimal

34. #ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
Write Tight(er):
ATime-Saving, Pain-Free
Technique for SellingYourself,
Your Company, or
Your Products through
Your Words

35. #ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
Audience needs:
“What’s in it for me?”
Write Tight(er):
ATime-Saving, Pain-Free
Technique for SellingYourself,
Your Company, or
Your Products through
Your Words

36. #ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
Audience needs:
“What’s in it for me?”
My purpose:
Get you here
Write Tight(er):
ATime-Saving, Pain-Free
Technique for SellingYourself,
Your Company, or
Your Products through
Your Words

37. #ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
No more
Audience needs:
“What’s in it for me?”
My purpose:
Get you here
Write Tight(er):
ATime-Saving, Pain-Free
Technique for SellingYourself,
Your Company, or
Your Products through
Your Words

38. #ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
No more No less
Audience needs:
“What’s in it for me?”
My purpose:
Get you here
Write Tight(er):
ATime-Saving, Pain-Free
Technique for SellingYourself,
Your Company, or
Your Products through
Your Words

39. #ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks

40. #ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks

41. #ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks

42. #ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks

43. #ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks

44. #ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
What concise means

45. #ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
Questions?
What concise means

46. #ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
Why do I care?

47. #ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
Why do I care?
“Usability was dramatically
higher for the concise
version [of the website]—
58% better.”
—Jakob Nielsen
www.nngroup.com/articles/how-users-read-on-the-web

48. #ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
Why do I care?
“Usability was dramatically
higher for the concise
version [of the website]—
58% better.”
—Jakob Nielsen
www.nngroup.com/articles/how-users-read-on-the-web

49. #ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
Why else do I care?

50. #ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
Cheaper to translate
Why else do I care?

51. #ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
Cheaper to translate
Easier to understand
Why else do I care?

52. #ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
Cheaper to translate
Easier to understand
Why else do I care?
More engaging

53. #ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
Cheaper to translate
Easier to understand
Why else do I care?
More engaging
More useful on small screens

54. #ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks

55. #ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
Write
Tight
(er)

56. #ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
Write
Tight
(er)

57. #ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
Write
Tight
(er)

58. #ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks

59. #ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks

60. #ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
This is your
toothbrush
when it’s
new.The
blue bristles
are blue all
the way to
their tips.
This is your
toothbrush
when it’s
ready to
replace.The
blue bristles
have turned
half white.

61. #ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks

62. #ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
Philips Sonicare™ toothbrush

63. #ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
Is your text translated?

64. #ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
How much can a word cost?

65. #ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
You may be needing a loan.
How much can a word cost?

66. #ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
You may be needing a loan.
How much can a word cost?
words6

67. #ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
You may be needing a loan.
How much can a word cost?
words6

68. #ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
You may be needing a loan.
How much can a word cost?
You may need a loan.
words6

69. #ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
You may be needing a loan.
How much can a word cost?
You may need a loan.
words6
5 words

70. #ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
You may be needing a loan.
How much can a word cost?
You may need a loan.
words6
5 words

71. #ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
You may be needing a loan.
How much can a word cost?
You may need a loan.
words6
5 words
1 word

72. #ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
You may be needing a loan.
How much can a word cost?
You may need a loan.
words6
5 words
1 word

73. #ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
You may be needing a loan.
How much can a word cost?
Translation cost (or savings):
You may need a loan.
words6
5 words
1 word

74. #ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
You may be needing a loan.
How much can a word cost?
Translation cost (or savings):
You may need a loan.
words6
5 words
1 word

75. #ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
You may be needing a loan.
How much can a word cost?
Translation cost (or savings):
You may need a loan.
words6
5 words
1 word
1 sentence, 1 language

76. #ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
You may be needing a loan.
How much can a word cost?
Translation cost (or savings):
$ 0.25
You may need a loan.
words6
5 words
1 word
1 sentence, 1 language

77. #ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
You may be needing a loan.
How much can a word cost?
Translation cost (or savings):
$ 0.25
You may need a loan.
words6
5 words
1 word
10,000 sentences,* 1 language
1 sentence, 1 language

78. #ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
You may be needing a loan.
How much can a word cost?
Translation cost (or savings):
$ 0.25
* the size of a Harry Potter novel
You may need a loan.
words6
5 words
1 word
10,000 sentences,* 1 language
1 sentence, 1 language

79. #ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
You may be needing a loan.
How much can a word cost?
Translation cost (or savings):
$ 0.25
* the size of a Harry Potter novel
$ 2,500.00
You may need a loan.
words6
5 words
1 word
10,000 sentences,* 1 language
1 sentence, 1 language

80. #ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
You may be needing a loan.
How much can a word cost?
Translation cost (or savings):
$ 0.25
* the size of a Harry Potter novel
$ 2,500.00
You may need a loan.
words6
5 words
1 word
10,000 sentences,* 25 languages
10,000 sentences,* 1 language
1 sentence, 1 language

81. #ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
You may be needing a loan.
How much can a word cost?
Translation cost (or savings):
$ 0.25
* the size of a Harry Potter novel
$ 2,500.00
$ 62,500.00
You may need a loan.
words6
5 words
1 word
10,000 sentences,* 25 languages
10,000 sentences,* 1 language
1 sentence, 1 language

82. #ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
You may be needing a loan.
How much can a word cost?
Translation cost (or savings):
$ 0.25
* the size of a Harry Potter novel
$ 2,500.00
$ 62,500.00
You may need a loan.
words6
5 words
1 word
10,000 sentences,* 25 languages
10,000 sentences,* 1 language
1 sentence, 1 language

83. #ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks

84. #ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
per word? How so?

85. #ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
per word? How so?
Close enough

86. #ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
per word? How so?
Close enough
Varies with the language

87. #ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
per word? How so?
Close enough
Varies with the language
Depends on the translation memory (database)

88. #ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
per word? How so?
Close enough
Varies with the language
Depends on the translation memory (database)
unrecognized word

89. #ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
per word? How so?
Close enough
Varies with the language
Depends on the translation memory (database)
unrecognized word
Full price

90. #ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
per word? How so?
Close enough
Varies with the language
Depends on the translation memory (database)
unrecognized word
“fuzzy” match Full price

91. #ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
per word? How so?
Close enough
Varies with the language
Depends on the translation memory (database)
unrecognized word
“fuzzy” match Full price
Pay less

92. #ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
per word? How so?
Close enough
Varies with the language
Depends on the translation memory (database)
unrecognized word
“fuzzy” match
“perfect” match
Full price
Pay less

93. #ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
per word? How so?
Close enough
Varies with the language
Depends on the translation memory (database)
unrecognized word
“fuzzy” match
“perfect” match
You still pay!
Full price
Pay less

94. #ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
What concise means

95. #ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
What concise means
Why I care

96. #ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
Questions?
What concise means
Why I care

97. #ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
Whether or not you translate,

98. #ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
Whether or not you translate,
whatever size your page or screen,

99. #ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
Whether or not you translate,
whatever size your page or screen,
you owe it to yourself to ask …

100. #ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
How can I write
more concisely?

101. #ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
Dump these words!*

102. #ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
Dump these words!*
*unless you need them

103. #ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
Dump these words!*
*unless you need them
Fast,
pain-free
technique

104. #ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
weak be-verbs (is, was, were, will be, have been, am, are)
Dump these words!*
*unless you need them
Fast,
pain-free
technique

105. #ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
weak be-verbs (is, was, were, will be, have been, am, are)
-ly words (& other vapid adverbs)
Dump these words!*
*unless you need them
Fast,
pain-free
technique

106. #ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
weak be-verbs (is, was, were, will be, have been, am, are)
-ly words (& other vapid adverbs)
very, such, so (& other empty intensifiers)
Dump these words!*
*unless you need them
Fast,
pain-free
technique

107. #ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
weak be-verbs (is, was, were, will be, have been, am, are)
-ly words (& other vapid adverbs)
very, such, so (& other empty intensifiers)
not, no (& other negative words)
Dump these words!*
*unless you need them
Fast,
pain-free
technique

108. #ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
weak be-verbs (is, was, were, will be, have been, am, are)
-ly words (& other vapid adverbs)
very, such, so (& other empty intensifiers)
not, no (& other negative words)
the fact that
Dump these words!*
*unless you need them
Fast,
pain-free
technique

109. #ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
weak be-verbs (is, was, were, will be, have been, am, are)
-ly words (& other vapid adverbs)
very, such, so (& other empty intensifiers)
not, no (& other negative words)
the fact that
just
Dump these words!*
*unless you need them
Fast,
pain-free
technique

110. #ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
weak be-verbs (is, was, were, will be, have been, am, are)
-ly words (& other vapid adverbs)
very, such, so (& other empty intensifiers)
not, no (& other negative words)
the fact that
just
begin to, try to, tend to, in order to
Dump these words!*
*unless you need them
Fast,
pain-free
technique

111. #ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
weak be-verbs (is, was, were, will be, have been, am, are)
-ly words (& other vapid adverbs)
very, such, so (& other empty intensifiers)
not, no (& other negative words)
the fact that
just
begin to, try to, tend to, in order to
period of time
Dump these words!*
*unless you need them
Fast,
pain-free
technique

112. #ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
weak be-verbs (is, was, were, will be, have been, am, are)
-ly words (& other vapid adverbs)
very, such, so (& other empty intensifiers)
not, no (& other negative words)
the fact that
just
begin to, try to, tend to, in order to
period of time
in light of, in spite of, in terms of (& of in general)
Dump these words!*
*unless you need them
Fast,
pain-free
technique

113. #ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
weak be-verbs (is, was, were, will be, have been, am, are)
-ly words (& other vapid adverbs)
very, such, so (& other empty intensifiers)
not, no (& other negative words)
the fact that
just
begin to, try to, tend to, in order to
period of time
in light of, in spite of, in terms of (& of in general)
proverbial
Dump these words!*
*unless you need them
Fast,
pain-free
technique

114. #ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
weak be-verbs (is, was, were, will be, have been, am, are)
-ly words (& other vapid adverbs)
very, such, so (& other empty intensifiers)
not, no (& other negative words)
the fact that
just
begin to, try to, tend to, in order to
period of time
in light of, in spite of, in terms of (& of in general)
proverbial
different (as in many different, 36 different)
Dump these words!*
*unless you need them
Fast,
pain-free
technique

115. #ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
weak be-verbs (is, was, were, will be, have been, am, are)
-ly words (& other vapid adverbs)
very, such, so (& other empty intensifiers)
not, no (& other negative words)
the fact that
just
begin to, try to, tend to, in order to
period of time
in light of, in spite of, in terms of (& of in general)
proverbial
different (as in many different, 36 different)
particular
Dump these words!*
*unless you need them
Fast,
pain-free
technique

116. #ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
weak be-verbs (is, was, were, will be, have been, am, are)
-ly words (& other vapid adverbs)
very, such, so (& other empty intensifiers)
not, no (& other negative words)
the fact that
just
begin to, try to, tend to, in order to
period of time
in light of, in spite of, in terms of (& of in general)
proverbial
different (as in many different, 36 different)
particular
verbiage
Dump these words!*
*unless you need them
Fast,
pain-free
technique

117. #ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
weak be-verbs (is, was, were, will be, have been, am, are)
-ly words (& other vapid adverbs)
very, such, so (& other empty intensifiers)
not, no (& other negative words)
the fact that
just
begin to, try to, tend to, in order to
period of time
in light of, in spite of, in terms of (& of in general)
proverbial
different (as in many different, 36 different)
particular
verbiage
any other verbiage or unneeded words that you can pitch
Dump these words!*
*unless you need them
Fast,
pain-free
technique

118. #ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
weak be-verbs (is, was, were, will be, have been, am, are)
-ly words (& other vapid adverbs)
very, such, so (& other empty intensifiers)
not, no (& other negative words)
the fact that
just
begin to, try to, tend to, in order to
period of time
in light of, in spite of, in terms of (& of in general)
proverbial
different (as in many different, 36 different)
particular
verbiage
any other verbiage or unneeded words that you can pitch
Dump these words!*
*unless you need them
Fast,
pain-free
technique

119. #ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
weak be-verbs (is, was, were, will be, have been, am, are)
-ly words (& other vapid adverbs)
very, such, so (& other empty intensifiers)
not, no (& other negative words)
the fact that
just
begin to, try to, tend to, in order to
period of time
in light of, in spite of, in terms of (& of in general)
proverbial
different (as in many different, 36 different)
particular
verbiage
any other verbiage or unneeded words that you can pitch
Dump these words!*
*unless you need them
Fast,
pain-free
technique

120. #ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
weak be-verbs (is, was, were, will be, have been, am, are)
-ly words (& other vapid adverbs)
very, such, so (& other empty intensifiers)
not, no (& other negative words)
the fact that
just
begin to, try to, tend to, in order to
period of time
in light of, in spite of, in terms of (& of in general)
proverbial
different (as in many different, 36 different)
particular
verbiage
any other verbiage or unneeded words that you can pitch
Dump these words!*
*unless you need them
Fast,
pain-free
technique

121. #ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
weak be-verbs (is, was, were, will be, have been, am, are)
-ly words (& other vapid adverbs)
very, such, so (& other empty intensifiers)
not, no (& other negative words)
the fact that
just
begin to, try to, tend to, in order to
period of time
in light of, in spite of, in terms of (& of in general)
proverbial
different (as in many different, 36 different)
particular
verbiage
any other verbiage or unneeded words that you can pitch
Dump these words!*
*unless you need them
Fast,
pain-free
technique
I cover
the rest
in my
workshop.

122. #ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
Jay Firestone
Content Strategist
Facebook

123. #ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
be-verbs

124. #ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
be
be-verbs

125. #ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
is
be
be-verbs

126. #ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
is
be
are be-verbs

127. #ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
is
be
am
are be-verbs

128. #ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
is
be
was
am
are be-verbs

129. #ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
is
be
has beenwas
am
are be-verbs

130. #ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
is
be
will
be
has beenwas
am
are be-verbs

131. #ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
is
be
will have
been being
will
be
has beenwas
am
are be-verbs

132. #ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
be-verb. Any form of the verb to be—
namely, am, are, be, been, being, is, was,
and were—whether used as an auxiliary
verb or as a main verb.
—Bryan Garner
Garner’s Modern American Usage

133. #ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks

134. #ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks

135. #ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
See be-verbs.

136. #ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
See be-verbs.

137. #ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
See be-verbs.

138. #ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
See be-verbs.

139. #ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
Start seeing be-verbs!

140. #ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
Examples

141. #ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
“Bias tape has the advantage of being able
to be applied smoothly around curves as
well as straight.”

142. #ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
“Bias tape has the advantage of being able
to be applied smoothly around curves as
well as straight.”

143. #ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
“Bias tape has the advantage of being able
to be applied smoothly around curves as
well as straight.”

144. #ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
“Bias tape has the advantage of being able
to be applied smoothly around curves as
well as straight.”

145. #ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks

146. #ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks

147. #ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
The fix might not
be self-evident.

148. #ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
The fix might not
be self-evident.

149. #ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
The fix might not
be self-evident.
You have to think.

150. #ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
The fix might not
be self-evident.
You have to think.
(Not too painful.)

151. #ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks

152. #ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks

153. #ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks

154. #ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks

155. #ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks

156. #ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
“A scheme of which every part promises
delight can never be successful.”
—Jane Austen, Pride and Prejudice

157. #ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
“A scheme of which every part promises
delight can never be successful.”
—Jane Austen, Pride and Prejudice

158. #ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks

159. #ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks

160. #ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
Audit logs are proof
that no data breach
has occurred.

161. #ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
Audit logs are proof
that no data breach
has occurred.

162. #ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
Our team wants
to be predictive.

163. #ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
Our team wants
to be predictive.

164. #ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
Our team wants
to be predictive.
What does
the team
want to do?

165. #ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
Skydiving was fun.

166. #ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
Skydiving was fun.

167. #ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
Skydiving was fun.
What
happened?

168. #ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
“Write when there is
something that you know;
and not before; and not
too damned much after.”
—Ernest Hemingway,
Death in the Afternoon

169. #ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
“Write when there is
something that you know;
and not before; and not
too damned much after.”
—Ernest Hemingway,
Death in the Afternoon

170. #ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
www.hemingwayapp.com

171. #ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
www.hemingwayapp.com

172. #ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
www.hemingwayapp.com

173. #ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
www.hemingwayapp.com

174. #ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
What it is is…

175. #ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
“What was found was that access
points on maps were not reflective
or accurate for where they are.”

176. #ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
“What was found was that access
points on maps were not reflective
or accurate for where they are.”

177. #ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
“There are known knowns.These are things
we know that we know.There are known
unknowns.That is to say, there are things
that we know we don’t know. But there are
also unknown unknowns.There are things
we don’t know we don’t know.”
(attributed to a one-time US secretary of defense)

178. #ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
“There are known knowns.These are things
we know that we know.There are known
unknowns.That is to say, there are things
that we know we don’t know. But there are
also unknown unknowns.There are things
we don’t know we don’t know.”
(attributed to a one-time US secretary of defense)

179. #ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
“There are known knowns.These are things
we know that we know.There are known
unknowns.That is to say, there are things
that we know we don’t know. But there are
also unknown unknowns.There are things
we don’t know we don’t know.”
(attributed to a one-time US secretary of defense)
We don’t know diddly—

180. #ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
“There are known knowns.These are things
we know that we know.There are known
unknowns.That is to say, there are things
that we know we don’t know. But there are
also unknown unknowns.There are things
we don’t know we don’t know.”
(attributed to a one-time US secretary of defense)
We don’t know diddly—
except to avoid (most) be-verbs.

181. #ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
YOUR
WORDS

182. #ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
weak be-verbs (is, was, were, will be, have been, am, are)
-ly words (& other vapid adverbs)
very, such, so (& other empty intensifiers)
not, no (& other negative words)
the fact that
just
begin to, try to, tend to, in order to
period of time
in light of, in spite of, in terms of (& of in general)
proverbial
different (as in many different, 36 different)
particular
verbiage
any other verbiage or unneeded words that you can pitch
Dump these words!*
*unless you need them

183. #ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
weak be-verbs (is, was, were, will be, have been, am, are)
-ly words (& other vapid adverbs)
very, such, so (& other empty intensifiers)
not, no (& other negative words)
the fact that
just
begin to, try to, tend to, in order to
period of time
in light of, in spite of, in terms of (& of in general)
proverbial
different (as in many different, 36 different)
particular
verbiage
any other verbiage or unneeded words that you can pitch
Dump these words!*
*unless you need them
I cover
the rest
in my
workshop.

184. #ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
Word
count
Cost to
translate into
1 language 25 languages
x 10,000
sentences
(Harry Potter
novel)
BEFORE Your original text here with
more words than you need. 10 $2.50 $62.50 $625,000.00
AFTER Your tighter text here. 4 $1.00 $25.00 $250,000.00
Savings 60% $1.50 $37.50 $375,000.00

185. #ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
Elizabeth Rich
Director of Digital Content
Produce Marketing Association

186. #ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
BEFORE Write when there is
something that you know;
and not before; and not too
damned much after.
AFTER Write when you know
something; and not before;
and not too damned much
after.

187. #ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
Word
count
BEFORE Write when there is
something that you know;
and not before; and not too
damned much after. 17
AFTER Write when you know
something; and not before;
and not too damned much
after. 14
Savings 18%

188. #ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
Word
count
Cost to
translate into
1 language
BEFORE Write when there is
something that you know;
and not before; and not too
damned much after. 17 $4.25
AFTER Write when you know
something; and not before;
and not too damned much
after. 14 $3.50
Savings 18% $0.75

189. #ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
Word
count
Cost to
translate into
1 language 25 languages
BEFORE Write when there is
something that you know;
and not before; and not too
damned much after. 17 $4.25 $106.25
AFTER Write when you know
something; and not before;
and not too damned much
after. 14 $3.50 $87.50
Savings 18% $0.75 $18.75

190. #ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
Word
count
Cost to
translate into
1 language 25 languages
x 10,000
sentences
(Harry Potter
novel)
BEFORE Write when there is
something that you know;
and not before; and not too
damned much after. 17 $4.25 $106.25 $1,062,500.00
AFTER Write when you know
something; and not before;
and not too damned much
after. 14 $3.50 $87.50 $875,000.00
Savings 18% $0.75 $18.75 $187,500.00

191. #ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
Email me for the spreadsheet:
marcia_r_johnston@me.com

192. #ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
Use be-verbs when
they serve a purpose.

193. #ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks

194. #ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
what?

195. #ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
is

196. #ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
“Content is something you
can run an ad alongside of.”
—Nora Ephron, I Remember Nothing

197. #ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
“Content is something you
can run an ad alongside of.”
—Nora Ephron, I Remember Nothing

198. #ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
“Content is something you
can run an ad alongside of.”
—Nora Ephron, I Remember Nothing

199. #ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
“Content is something you
can run an ad alongside of.”
—Nora Ephron, I Remember Nothing
content

200. #ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
“Content is something you
can run an ad alongside of.”
—Nora Ephron, I Remember Nothing
content ads

201. #ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
Be-verbs are everywhere. See?

202. #ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
Be-verbs are everywhere. See?

203. #ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks

204. #ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
See be-verbs.

205. #ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
Now available
Start seeing be-verbs.HowToWriteEverything.com

206. #ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
Start seeing be-verbs.HowToWriteEverything.com

207. #ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks

208. #ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks

209. #ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
Email me for the bumper sticker:
marcia_r_johnston@me.com

210. #ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks

211. #ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks

212. #ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks

213. #ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks

214. #ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
Want to make
this technique
even faster?

215. #ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks

216. #ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks

217. #ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
Try this.

218. #ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
Adjectives
• absolutely certain, absolutely essential, absolutely
guaranteed, completely necessary, totally sure
• bald-headed
• best ever, first ever
• blue in color, few in number, long in duration, nubbly in
texture, round in shape, slovenly in appearance, short in
height, slow in speed, small in size, tall in stature
• booked solid
• exact same, same exact, same identical
• filled to capacity
• incredible to believe, visible to the eye, warm to the touch

219. #ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
Nouns
• actual experience, actual fact
• added bonus
• advance notice, advance planning, advance preview,
advance reservations, advance warning
• all-time favorite, all-time record
• alternative choice
• anonymous stranger
• annual anniversary
• armed gunman
• artificial prosthesis
• autobiography of her own life, biography of his life

220. #ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
Nouns
• actual experience, actual fact
• added bonus
• advance notice, advance planning, advance preview,
advance reservations, advance warning
• all-time favorite, all-time record
• alternative choice
• anonymous stranger
• annual anniversary
• armed gunman
• artificial prosthesis
• autobiography of her own life, biography of his life
And that’s just
the a’s.

221. #ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
Verbs
• add an additional
• aid and abet, cease and desist, pick and choose
• allow you to be able to
• always include
• ask the question
• assemble together, attach together, blend together,
collaborate together, combine together, confer together,
connect together, cooperate together, fuse together, gather
together, join together, integrate together, meet together,
merge together, mingle together, mix together, pool
together, share together, splice together

222. #ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
Odds and Ends
• 6 a.m. in the morning, 10 p.m. in the evening,
twelve noon, twelve midnight
• and etc.
• ATM machine, GOP party, GRE exam, HIV virus,
ISBN number, LCD display, PIN number, RAM memory,
UPC code—and my favorite: Please RSVP

223. #ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks

224. #ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks

225. #ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
What concise means

226. #ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
What concise means
Why I care

227. #ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
What concise means
Why I care
How to write concisely

228. #ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
Questions?
What concise means
Why I care
How to write concisely

229. Story time

230. Story time
Water dispenser

231. Story time
Water dispenser
Buttons

232. Story time
Water dispenser
Buttons
Quick reference

233. #ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks

234. #ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
Concise = good
... right?

235. #ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
Three-minute video

238. #ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks

239. #ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
If conciseness doesn’t fix it,
change what you’re saying.

240. #ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks

241. #ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
For more on concise writing
and much, much more

242. #ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
For more on concise writing
and much, much more

243. #ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
For more on concise writing
and much, much more

244. #ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
For more on concise writing
and much, much more
powerful

245. #ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
For more on concise writing
and much, much more
powerful

246. #ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks

247. #ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
Think
this is
small?

248. #ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
Think
this is
small?

249. #ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
Think
this is
small?

250. #ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
Think
this is
small?

251. #ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
Think
this is
small?