SlideShare a Scribd company logo
W O R K S T O R M I N G , R O B K E N D A L L
W H Y C O N V E R S A T I O N S A T
W O R K G O W R O N G A N D
H O W T O F I X T H E M
T H E 4 M O D E R N D A Y
C O P I N G S T R A T E G I E S
S T A C K I N G
S P I N N I N G
S P I L L I N G
S K I M M I N G
Overfilling our day. Scheduling back-to-back
meetings and filling every available space in
our diary, so there is no free time.
Our attention runs from one thing to the next
meaning we are never fully engaged in our
conversations.
We pick out the headlines and urgent issues,
focussing on speed rather than depth, which
can cause us to miss things.
The boundaries between tasks blur meaning we
are never fully present in the task at hand, and
work can spill into our home life.
How we're (wrongly) adapting to work challenges
S O W H A T D O W E D O ?
S T A C K I N G
A N T I D O T E
S P I N N I N G
A N T I D O T E
S P I L L I N G
A N T I D O T E
S K I M M I N G
A N T I D O T E
Create spaces in our day between
commitments. Schedule them to have space for
thinking time or important conversations.
Manage your attention. Notice when our
attention drifts in a conversation and bring it
back to the person. Practice this.
Go deeper. Not shallower. Have fewer, but more
meaningful conversations. Really listen, and
think about the other person's perspective.
Put the boundaries back in. Keep work away
from home. Don't check emails during the
evenings and weekends.
How to combat these and improve our conversations
T H E W A R N I N G S I G N S
B L A M E S T O R M I N G
E S C A L A T I O N
D O M I N A T R I C K S
M I X E D
M E S S S A G E S
Y E S , B U T . . .
Accusations and criticisms that we use to
justify our own behaviours and assign fault to
others rather than resolving an issue.
When your emotions take over, inflaming your
conversation to the point where logical
thinking and rational discussion are impossible.
When you brush aside someone's opinions
because they don't tally with yours, or dismiss
their solutions because you don't feel heard.
The flow and rhythm of a conversation start to
fall apart because you're trying to take control
of it.
When you're speaking at cross-purposes or
making assumptions without checking for
mutual understanding.
S O W H A T D O W E D O ?
S T E P 1 : P A Y A T T E N T I O N T O T H E S I G N A L S
When we ignore the warning lights, we are likely to end up in one of the
following places:
THE TANGLE – where crossed wires lead to uncertainty and confusion,
uncoordinated action and frustrated expectations.
THE BIG ARGUMENT – where a conversation spirals into a bitter row with
a work colleague, a supplier or even a customer.
THE BAD PLACE – where you're left feeling angry, upset or disconnected
with someone after a conversation has gone wrong.
THE LOCK DOWN – where someone withdraws from the relationship and
is reluctant or unwilling to discuss it.
Rather than being quick to recognise and judge other people who ignore the
warning lights, start to identify the signals in your own behaviour.
Having noticed the warning lights, you're still at liberty to say 'Yes,
but...', or to employ Dominatricks and Blamestorming, or even to engage
in Escalation. It's your choice, but the difference is that you can choose
consciously. Every time you see a warning light, you can press on
regardless or you can change direction. And if you decide to press on,
you can do so with open eyes.
Start noticing that conversations don't just happen. They are filled with
choice points. At any moment, you can continue a conversation or stop
it, speed it up or slow it down, maintain its rhythm or break it up. You'll
only see the choice points if you pay attention to the underlying
dynamics of the conversation rather than listening through your
opinions. In theory this should be a relatively simple practice, but it
often seems hard to achieve.
S T E P 2 : M A K E A C H O I C E
Find out more in
Workstorming
by Rob Kendall

More Related Content

Similar to Workstorming - Why Conversations at Work Go Wrong and How to Fix Them

Sample Monthly Rally - 90 Mins
Sample Monthly Rally - 90 MinsSample Monthly Rally - 90 Mins
Sample Monthly Rally - 90 Mins
rlestate2
 
Sample Sales Rally 60 Min
Sample Sales Rally 60 MinSample Sales Rally 60 Min
Sample Sales Rally 60 Min
rlestate2
 
1st chapter
1st chapter1st chapter
1st chapter
Vamsi Krishna
 
Healthy Dating & Relationship Tips
Healthy Dating & Relationship TipsHealthy Dating & Relationship Tips
Healthy Dating & Relationship Tips
Maria lina
 
Healthydating
HealthydatingHealthydating
Healthydating
maria lina
 
Roman Humeniuk: Communication issues and their consequences in the day-to-day...
Roman Humeniuk: Communication issues and their consequences in the day-to-day...Roman Humeniuk: Communication issues and their consequences in the day-to-day...
Roman Humeniuk: Communication issues and their consequences in the day-to-day...
Lviv Startup Club
 
Q guide emotional intelligence aw
Q guide emotional intelligence awQ guide emotional intelligence aw
Q guide emotional intelligence aw
Richard Carr
 
Listening skills final
Listening skills finalListening skills final
Listening skills final
Priyanka Sawant
 
listening skills
listening skillslistening skills
listening skills
DIvyanshuBhoyar
 
Personal_Communication_Report
Personal_Communication_ReportPersonal_Communication_Report
Personal_Communication_Report
Stephen Heaston
 
Aspects of communication
Aspects of communicationAspects of communication
Aspects of communication
mavs morales
 
Chapter 11Nonverbal DeliveryThe most important thing in commun.docx
Chapter 11Nonverbal DeliveryThe most important thing in commun.docxChapter 11Nonverbal DeliveryThe most important thing in commun.docx
Chapter 11Nonverbal DeliveryThe most important thing in commun.docx
cravennichole326
 
Managing Your Mental Health While Working in Marketing Operations .pdf
Managing Your Mental Health While Working in Marketing Operations .pdfManaging Your Mental Health While Working in Marketing Operations .pdf
Managing Your Mental Health While Working in Marketing Operations .pdf
JackiePotts5
 
Communication Hacks: Strategies for fostering collaboration and dealing with ...
Communication Hacks: Strategies for fostering collaboration and dealing with ...Communication Hacks: Strategies for fostering collaboration and dealing with ...
Communication Hacks: Strategies for fostering collaboration and dealing with ...
All Things Open
 
Personality Report for ME 2016
Personality Report for ME 2016Personality Report for ME 2016
Personality Report for ME 2016
Michael Edwards
 
Leading to difficult people
Leading to difficult peopleLeading to difficult people
Leading to difficult people
Jed Concepcion
 
Interpersonal and Communication Skills Development
Interpersonal and Communication Skills DevelopmentInterpersonal and Communication Skills Development
Interpersonal and Communication Skills Development
JessicaEbdane
 
People Skills
People SkillsPeople Skills
People Skills
Ramakanta Behera
 
Negotiation in difficult conversations
Negotiation in difficult conversationsNegotiation in difficult conversations
Negotiation in difficult conversations
Ivy Seah
 
When you answered the questionnaire you were asked to indicate.docx
When you answered the questionnaire you were asked to indicate.docxWhen you answered the questionnaire you were asked to indicate.docx
When you answered the questionnaire you were asked to indicate.docx
alanfhall8953
 

Similar to Workstorming - Why Conversations at Work Go Wrong and How to Fix Them (20)

Sample Monthly Rally - 90 Mins
Sample Monthly Rally - 90 MinsSample Monthly Rally - 90 Mins
Sample Monthly Rally - 90 Mins
 
Sample Sales Rally 60 Min
Sample Sales Rally 60 MinSample Sales Rally 60 Min
Sample Sales Rally 60 Min
 
1st chapter
1st chapter1st chapter
1st chapter
 
Healthy Dating & Relationship Tips
Healthy Dating & Relationship TipsHealthy Dating & Relationship Tips
Healthy Dating & Relationship Tips
 
Healthydating
HealthydatingHealthydating
Healthydating
 
Roman Humeniuk: Communication issues and their consequences in the day-to-day...
Roman Humeniuk: Communication issues and their consequences in the day-to-day...Roman Humeniuk: Communication issues and their consequences in the day-to-day...
Roman Humeniuk: Communication issues and their consequences in the day-to-day...
 
Q guide emotional intelligence aw
Q guide emotional intelligence awQ guide emotional intelligence aw
Q guide emotional intelligence aw
 
Listening skills final
Listening skills finalListening skills final
Listening skills final
 
listening skills
listening skillslistening skills
listening skills
 
Personal_Communication_Report
Personal_Communication_ReportPersonal_Communication_Report
Personal_Communication_Report
 
Aspects of communication
Aspects of communicationAspects of communication
Aspects of communication
 
Chapter 11Nonverbal DeliveryThe most important thing in commun.docx
Chapter 11Nonverbal DeliveryThe most important thing in commun.docxChapter 11Nonverbal DeliveryThe most important thing in commun.docx
Chapter 11Nonverbal DeliveryThe most important thing in commun.docx
 
Managing Your Mental Health While Working in Marketing Operations .pdf
Managing Your Mental Health While Working in Marketing Operations .pdfManaging Your Mental Health While Working in Marketing Operations .pdf
Managing Your Mental Health While Working in Marketing Operations .pdf
 
Communication Hacks: Strategies for fostering collaboration and dealing with ...
Communication Hacks: Strategies for fostering collaboration and dealing with ...Communication Hacks: Strategies for fostering collaboration and dealing with ...
Communication Hacks: Strategies for fostering collaboration and dealing with ...
 
Personality Report for ME 2016
Personality Report for ME 2016Personality Report for ME 2016
Personality Report for ME 2016
 
Leading to difficult people
Leading to difficult peopleLeading to difficult people
Leading to difficult people
 
Interpersonal and Communication Skills Development
Interpersonal and Communication Skills DevelopmentInterpersonal and Communication Skills Development
Interpersonal and Communication Skills Development
 
People Skills
People SkillsPeople Skills
People Skills
 
Negotiation in difficult conversations
Negotiation in difficult conversationsNegotiation in difficult conversations
Negotiation in difficult conversations
 
When you answered the questionnaire you were asked to indicate.docx
When you answered the questionnaire you were asked to indicate.docxWhen you answered the questionnaire you were asked to indicate.docx
When you answered the questionnaire you were asked to indicate.docx
 

Recently uploaded

NOSE CANCER Yashita lesson plan Health & Cancer Related Topics.pdf
NOSE CANCER Yashita lesson plan Health & Cancer Related Topics.pdfNOSE CANCER Yashita lesson plan Health & Cancer Related Topics.pdf
NOSE CANCER Yashita lesson plan Health & Cancer Related Topics.pdf
SanskariYuvi
 
欧洲杯外围-欧洲杯外围下注网址-欧洲杯外围下注网站|【​网址​🎉ac44.net🎉​】
欧洲杯外围-欧洲杯外围下注网址-欧洲杯外围下注网站|【​网址​🎉ac44.net🎉​】欧洲杯外围-欧洲杯外围下注网址-欧洲杯外围下注网站|【​网址​🎉ac44.net🎉​】
欧洲杯外围-欧洲杯外围下注网址-欧洲杯外围下注网站|【​网址​🎉ac44.net🎉​】
landrielgabriel274
 
一比一原版加拿大特伦特大学毕业证如何办理
一比一原版加拿大特伦特大学毕业证如何办理一比一原版加拿大特伦特大学毕业证如何办理
一比一原版加拿大特伦特大学毕业证如何办理
ofogyhw
 
Khushi Saini, An Intern from The Sparks Foundation
Khushi Saini, An Intern from The Sparks FoundationKhushi Saini, An Intern from The Sparks Foundation
Khushi Saini, An Intern from The Sparks Foundation
khushisaini0924
 
欧洲杯买球-欧洲杯买球买球推荐-欧洲杯买球买球推荐网站|【​网址​🎉ac10.net🎉​】
欧洲杯买球-欧洲杯买球买球推荐-欧洲杯买球买球推荐网站|【​网址​🎉ac10.net🎉​】欧洲杯买球-欧洲杯买球买球推荐-欧洲杯买球买球推荐网站|【​网址​🎉ac10.net🎉​】
欧洲杯买球-欧洲杯买球买球推荐-欧洲杯买球买球推荐网站|【​网址​🎉ac10.net🎉​】
concepsionchomo153
 
一比一原版(surrey毕业证书)英国萨里大学毕业证成绩单修改如何办理
一比一原版(surrey毕业证书)英国萨里大学毕业证成绩单修改如何办理一比一原版(surrey毕业证书)英国萨里大学毕业证成绩单修改如何办理
一比一原版(surrey毕业证书)英国萨里大学毕业证成绩单修改如何办理
gnokue
 
按照学校原版(ArtEZ文凭证书)ArtEZ艺术学院毕业证快速办理
按照学校原版(ArtEZ文凭证书)ArtEZ艺术学院毕业证快速办理按照学校原版(ArtEZ文凭证书)ArtEZ艺术学院毕业证快速办理
按照学校原版(ArtEZ文凭证书)ArtEZ艺术学院毕业证快速办理
evnum
 
欧洲杯足彩-欧洲杯足彩投注网-欧洲杯足彩投注网站|【​网址​🎉ac123.net🎉​】
欧洲杯足彩-欧洲杯足彩投注网-欧洲杯足彩投注网站|【​网址​🎉ac123.net🎉​】欧洲杯足彩-欧洲杯足彩投注网-欧洲杯足彩投注网站|【​网址​🎉ac123.net🎉​】
欧洲杯足彩-欧洲杯足彩投注网-欧洲杯足彩投注网站|【​网址​🎉ac123.net🎉​】
ahmedendrise81
 
Education policy of India 2024-25 for students which helpful in educating
Education policy of India 2024-25 for students which helpful in educatingEducation policy of India 2024-25 for students which helpful in educating
Education policy of India 2024-25 for students which helpful in educating
swapnapriya7s7s
 
Top Recruitment Agencies in Pakistan - Delta International Recruitment Agency
Top Recruitment Agencies in Pakistan -  Delta International Recruitment AgencyTop Recruitment Agencies in Pakistan -  Delta International Recruitment Agency
Top Recruitment Agencies in Pakistan - Delta International Recruitment Agency
Delta International Recruitment Agency
 
23. Certificate of Appreciation Ramanji.
23. Certificate of Appreciation Ramanji.23. Certificate of Appreciation Ramanji.
23. Certificate of Appreciation Ramanji.
Manu Mitra
 
一比一原版英国伦敦南岸大学毕业证(LSBU学位证)如何办理
一比一原版英国伦敦南岸大学毕业证(LSBU学位证)如何办理一比一原版英国伦敦南岸大学毕业证(LSBU学位证)如何办理
一比一原版英国伦敦南岸大学毕业证(LSBU学位证)如何办理
zqgk8x
 
0624.CV_studentscholarandacademic-02.pdf
0624.CV_studentscholarandacademic-02.pdf0624.CV_studentscholarandacademic-02.pdf
0624.CV_studentscholarandacademic-02.pdf
Thomas GIRARD BDes
 
美洲杯投注-美洲杯投注比分-美洲杯投注比分投注|【​网址​🎉ac44.net🎉​】
美洲杯投注-美洲杯投注比分-美洲杯投注比分投注|【​网址​🎉ac44.net🎉​】美洲杯投注-美洲杯投注比分-美洲杯投注比分投注|【​网址​🎉ac44.net🎉​】
美洲杯投注-美洲杯投注比分-美洲杯投注比分投注|【​网址​🎉ac44.net🎉​】
balliuvilla512
 
22. Certificate of Appreciation Deepika.
22. Certificate of Appreciation Deepika.22. Certificate of Appreciation Deepika.
22. Certificate of Appreciation Deepika.
Manu Mitra
 
LinkedIn Strategic Guidelines for June 2024
LinkedIn Strategic Guidelines  for June 2024LinkedIn Strategic Guidelines  for June 2024
LinkedIn Strategic Guidelines for June 2024
Bruce Bennett
 
LinkedIn for Your Job Search June 17, 2024
LinkedIn for Your Job Search June  17, 2024LinkedIn for Your Job Search June  17, 2024
LinkedIn for Your Job Search June 17, 2024
Bruce Bennett
 
欧洲杯外围-欧洲杯外围赛程-欧洲杯外围压注|【​网址​🎉ac99.net🎉​】
欧洲杯外围-欧洲杯外围赛程-欧洲杯外围压注|【​网址​🎉ac99.net🎉​】欧洲杯外围-欧洲杯外围赛程-欧洲杯外围压注|【​网址​🎉ac99.net🎉​】
欧洲杯外围-欧洲杯外围赛程-欧洲杯外围压注|【​网址​🎉ac99.net🎉​】
karimimorine448
 
欧洲杯足彩-欧洲杯足彩体育投注-欧洲杯足彩投注网站|【​网址​🎉ac99.net🎉​】
欧洲杯足彩-欧洲杯足彩体育投注-欧洲杯足彩投注网站|【​网址​🎉ac99.net🎉​】欧洲杯足彩-欧洲杯足彩体育投注-欧洲杯足彩投注网站|【​网址​🎉ac99.net🎉​】
欧洲杯足彩-欧洲杯足彩体育投注-欧洲杯足彩投注网站|【​网址​🎉ac99.net🎉​】
lemike859
 
按照学校原版(UofT文凭证书)多伦多大学毕业证快速办理
按照学校原版(UofT文凭证书)多伦多大学毕业证快速办理按照学校原版(UofT文凭证书)多伦多大学毕业证快速办理
按照学校原版(UofT文凭证书)多伦多大学毕业证快速办理
evnum
 

Recently uploaded (20)

NOSE CANCER Yashita lesson plan Health & Cancer Related Topics.pdf
NOSE CANCER Yashita lesson plan Health & Cancer Related Topics.pdfNOSE CANCER Yashita lesson plan Health & Cancer Related Topics.pdf
NOSE CANCER Yashita lesson plan Health & Cancer Related Topics.pdf
 
欧洲杯外围-欧洲杯外围下注网址-欧洲杯外围下注网站|【​网址​🎉ac44.net🎉​】
欧洲杯外围-欧洲杯外围下注网址-欧洲杯外围下注网站|【​网址​🎉ac44.net🎉​】欧洲杯外围-欧洲杯外围下注网址-欧洲杯外围下注网站|【​网址​🎉ac44.net🎉​】
欧洲杯外围-欧洲杯外围下注网址-欧洲杯外围下注网站|【​网址​🎉ac44.net🎉​】
 
一比一原版加拿大特伦特大学毕业证如何办理
一比一原版加拿大特伦特大学毕业证如何办理一比一原版加拿大特伦特大学毕业证如何办理
一比一原版加拿大特伦特大学毕业证如何办理
 
Khushi Saini, An Intern from The Sparks Foundation
Khushi Saini, An Intern from The Sparks FoundationKhushi Saini, An Intern from The Sparks Foundation
Khushi Saini, An Intern from The Sparks Foundation
 
欧洲杯买球-欧洲杯买球买球推荐-欧洲杯买球买球推荐网站|【​网址​🎉ac10.net🎉​】
欧洲杯买球-欧洲杯买球买球推荐-欧洲杯买球买球推荐网站|【​网址​🎉ac10.net🎉​】欧洲杯买球-欧洲杯买球买球推荐-欧洲杯买球买球推荐网站|【​网址​🎉ac10.net🎉​】
欧洲杯买球-欧洲杯买球买球推荐-欧洲杯买球买球推荐网站|【​网址​🎉ac10.net🎉​】
 
一比一原版(surrey毕业证书)英国萨里大学毕业证成绩单修改如何办理
一比一原版(surrey毕业证书)英国萨里大学毕业证成绩单修改如何办理一比一原版(surrey毕业证书)英国萨里大学毕业证成绩单修改如何办理
一比一原版(surrey毕业证书)英国萨里大学毕业证成绩单修改如何办理
 
按照学校原版(ArtEZ文凭证书)ArtEZ艺术学院毕业证快速办理
按照学校原版(ArtEZ文凭证书)ArtEZ艺术学院毕业证快速办理按照学校原版(ArtEZ文凭证书)ArtEZ艺术学院毕业证快速办理
按照学校原版(ArtEZ文凭证书)ArtEZ艺术学院毕业证快速办理
 
欧洲杯足彩-欧洲杯足彩投注网-欧洲杯足彩投注网站|【​网址​🎉ac123.net🎉​】
欧洲杯足彩-欧洲杯足彩投注网-欧洲杯足彩投注网站|【​网址​🎉ac123.net🎉​】欧洲杯足彩-欧洲杯足彩投注网-欧洲杯足彩投注网站|【​网址​🎉ac123.net🎉​】
欧洲杯足彩-欧洲杯足彩投注网-欧洲杯足彩投注网站|【​网址​🎉ac123.net🎉​】
 
Education policy of India 2024-25 for students which helpful in educating
Education policy of India 2024-25 for students which helpful in educatingEducation policy of India 2024-25 for students which helpful in educating
Education policy of India 2024-25 for students which helpful in educating
 
Top Recruitment Agencies in Pakistan - Delta International Recruitment Agency
Top Recruitment Agencies in Pakistan -  Delta International Recruitment AgencyTop Recruitment Agencies in Pakistan -  Delta International Recruitment Agency
Top Recruitment Agencies in Pakistan - Delta International Recruitment Agency
 
23. Certificate of Appreciation Ramanji.
23. Certificate of Appreciation Ramanji.23. Certificate of Appreciation Ramanji.
23. Certificate of Appreciation Ramanji.
 
一比一原版英国伦敦南岸大学毕业证(LSBU学位证)如何办理
一比一原版英国伦敦南岸大学毕业证(LSBU学位证)如何办理一比一原版英国伦敦南岸大学毕业证(LSBU学位证)如何办理
一比一原版英国伦敦南岸大学毕业证(LSBU学位证)如何办理
 
0624.CV_studentscholarandacademic-02.pdf
0624.CV_studentscholarandacademic-02.pdf0624.CV_studentscholarandacademic-02.pdf
0624.CV_studentscholarandacademic-02.pdf
 
美洲杯投注-美洲杯投注比分-美洲杯投注比分投注|【​网址​🎉ac44.net🎉​】
美洲杯投注-美洲杯投注比分-美洲杯投注比分投注|【​网址​🎉ac44.net🎉​】美洲杯投注-美洲杯投注比分-美洲杯投注比分投注|【​网址​🎉ac44.net🎉​】
美洲杯投注-美洲杯投注比分-美洲杯投注比分投注|【​网址​🎉ac44.net🎉​】
 
22. Certificate of Appreciation Deepika.
22. Certificate of Appreciation Deepika.22. Certificate of Appreciation Deepika.
22. Certificate of Appreciation Deepika.
 
LinkedIn Strategic Guidelines for June 2024
LinkedIn Strategic Guidelines  for June 2024LinkedIn Strategic Guidelines  for June 2024
LinkedIn Strategic Guidelines for June 2024
 
LinkedIn for Your Job Search June 17, 2024
LinkedIn for Your Job Search June  17, 2024LinkedIn for Your Job Search June  17, 2024
LinkedIn for Your Job Search June 17, 2024
 
欧洲杯外围-欧洲杯外围赛程-欧洲杯外围压注|【​网址​🎉ac99.net🎉​】
欧洲杯外围-欧洲杯外围赛程-欧洲杯外围压注|【​网址​🎉ac99.net🎉​】欧洲杯外围-欧洲杯外围赛程-欧洲杯外围压注|【​网址​🎉ac99.net🎉​】
欧洲杯外围-欧洲杯外围赛程-欧洲杯外围压注|【​网址​🎉ac99.net🎉​】
 
欧洲杯足彩-欧洲杯足彩体育投注-欧洲杯足彩投注网站|【​网址​🎉ac99.net🎉​】
欧洲杯足彩-欧洲杯足彩体育投注-欧洲杯足彩投注网站|【​网址​🎉ac99.net🎉​】欧洲杯足彩-欧洲杯足彩体育投注-欧洲杯足彩投注网站|【​网址​🎉ac99.net🎉​】
欧洲杯足彩-欧洲杯足彩体育投注-欧洲杯足彩投注网站|【​网址​🎉ac99.net🎉​】
 
按照学校原版(UofT文凭证书)多伦多大学毕业证快速办理
按照学校原版(UofT文凭证书)多伦多大学毕业证快速办理按照学校原版(UofT文凭证书)多伦多大学毕业证快速办理
按照学校原版(UofT文凭证书)多伦多大学毕业证快速办理
 

Workstorming - Why Conversations at Work Go Wrong and How to Fix Them

  • 1. W O R K S T O R M I N G , R O B K E N D A L L W H Y C O N V E R S A T I O N S A T W O R K G O W R O N G A N D H O W T O F I X T H E M
  • 2. T H E 4 M O D E R N D A Y C O P I N G S T R A T E G I E S S T A C K I N G S P I N N I N G S P I L L I N G S K I M M I N G Overfilling our day. Scheduling back-to-back meetings and filling every available space in our diary, so there is no free time. Our attention runs from one thing to the next meaning we are never fully engaged in our conversations. We pick out the headlines and urgent issues, focussing on speed rather than depth, which can cause us to miss things. The boundaries between tasks blur meaning we are never fully present in the task at hand, and work can spill into our home life. How we're (wrongly) adapting to work challenges
  • 3. S O W H A T D O W E D O ? S T A C K I N G A N T I D O T E S P I N N I N G A N T I D O T E S P I L L I N G A N T I D O T E S K I M M I N G A N T I D O T E Create spaces in our day between commitments. Schedule them to have space for thinking time or important conversations. Manage your attention. Notice when our attention drifts in a conversation and bring it back to the person. Practice this. Go deeper. Not shallower. Have fewer, but more meaningful conversations. Really listen, and think about the other person's perspective. Put the boundaries back in. Keep work away from home. Don't check emails during the evenings and weekends. How to combat these and improve our conversations
  • 4. T H E W A R N I N G S I G N S B L A M E S T O R M I N G E S C A L A T I O N D O M I N A T R I C K S M I X E D M E S S S A G E S Y E S , B U T . . . Accusations and criticisms that we use to justify our own behaviours and assign fault to others rather than resolving an issue. When your emotions take over, inflaming your conversation to the point where logical thinking and rational discussion are impossible. When you brush aside someone's opinions because they don't tally with yours, or dismiss their solutions because you don't feel heard. The flow and rhythm of a conversation start to fall apart because you're trying to take control of it. When you're speaking at cross-purposes or making assumptions without checking for mutual understanding.
  • 5. S O W H A T D O W E D O ? S T E P 1 : P A Y A T T E N T I O N T O T H E S I G N A L S When we ignore the warning lights, we are likely to end up in one of the following places: THE TANGLE – where crossed wires lead to uncertainty and confusion, uncoordinated action and frustrated expectations. THE BIG ARGUMENT – where a conversation spirals into a bitter row with a work colleague, a supplier or even a customer. THE BAD PLACE – where you're left feeling angry, upset or disconnected with someone after a conversation has gone wrong. THE LOCK DOWN – where someone withdraws from the relationship and is reluctant or unwilling to discuss it. Rather than being quick to recognise and judge other people who ignore the warning lights, start to identify the signals in your own behaviour.
  • 6. Having noticed the warning lights, you're still at liberty to say 'Yes, but...', or to employ Dominatricks and Blamestorming, or even to engage in Escalation. It's your choice, but the difference is that you can choose consciously. Every time you see a warning light, you can press on regardless or you can change direction. And if you decide to press on, you can do so with open eyes. Start noticing that conversations don't just happen. They are filled with choice points. At any moment, you can continue a conversation or stop it, speed it up or slow it down, maintain its rhythm or break it up. You'll only see the choice points if you pay attention to the underlying dynamics of the conversation rather than listening through your opinions. In theory this should be a relatively simple practice, but it often seems hard to achieve. S T E P 2 : M A K E A C H O I C E
  • 7. Find out more in Workstorming by Rob Kendall