The author describes their relationship with God over time through the metaphors of wrestling and dancing. In their 40s, the author viewed their relationship as wrestling, with intimacy but also struggle. In their 50s, the relationship changed to a slow, graceful dance where God led and the author learned to follow. Stepping back, the author sees their relationship is living and growing, rather than stagnant, helped by visualizing it through these metaphors. The metaphors remind us relationships with God are dynamic and changing.

1. To Wrestle, to Dance, to be One
by Kathleen McCauley
How do we encounter God? For some their relationship with God might be nice and
neat and tidy. There is form and normalcy. It is familiar. I have journeyed many years
now with my Lord and encountered Him in many ways, seen and unforeseen, having
always been blessed.
In my forties it came to me that what I was doing in this relationship with God was
wrestling. It was intimate for sure! It was intense. I felt close and united, but there was
struggle and resistance. So the ebb and flow of the relationship was choppy at best and
I felt bad because of my obvious resistance, which either came from fear or uncertainty.
While some might find this to be less than flattering, I rejoiced, for those who wrestle are
very CLOSE. They encounter each other alone and in an intimate way. And so I
accepted the realization that this metaphor was the best way to depict our relationship.
With the exclusion of competition or winning, the tussling was ours alone and I knew I
would be safe, but mostly I rejoiced at the intimate grapple which always reminded me
that I was not alone and that God was “in” and “within” the struggles of my daily life. I
accepted this status and was grateful, never expecting a change. I obviously didn’t
know enough about prayer and my relationship with God to know that it changes over
time.
But change came unexpectedly and without warning. As I entered my fifties, there was
a distinctive difference in my prayer life and my general encounters with God. One day it
occurred to me that I was in a slow dance. There was no more struggle, no tension. It
was smooth, graceful, and engaging. I rejoiced in this image, but I knew there was one
major flaw in my dancing…..I didn’t know how to follow.
I constantly wanted to take the lead. Even when I was consciously trying to let God
lead, I stumbled and frequently collided with His direction in my life.. It helped me pace
myself in prayer, and I was much more mindful than in the earlier days of struggle.
I experienced the ability to sit and be at peace and examine the times when I had
stumbled in my attempt to lead. It also allowed me the time and humility to say I was
sorry for the times I tried to lead, and rob God of the joy of leading the dance of my life.
These metaphors describe my overall relationship with God, not necessarily the
everyday actions and interactions with God.
What can we learn from this broad view and observation? When I step back and see my
relationship with God from this perspective, it helps me see that it is a living and growing
experience in my life. It is not stagnant. When you get an image of clarity of this
relationship, it helps to see its bigger impact.

2. To Wrestle, to Dance, to be One 2
It’s like being able to see the earth from outer space, a view that is powerful and
majestic. That view reminds me that there is a divine power at work and a divine plan
which is so much greater than anything I could imagine. So it is with my prayer life and
my relationship with God.
Looking at my relationship with God from a different perspective, and visualizing it in
terms of these metaphors, reminds me that God is so much bigger than I can ever
conceive within my horizontal view.
I will always cherish the wrestling years and the days of our dance. I see them as holy,
and I am excited to see what metaphor fits the next stage of my relationship with God.
Keep watching to name and claim the metaphor that depicts your relationship with God.
The metaphor is to remind us that it is living, growing, and changing. We dare not label
it or judge it, for then it might become stagnant and die. Keep pressing forward to
embrace the relationship as you observe it from a different vantage point beyond the
horizontal norms.