In 1628, the Swedish warship Vasa set off on its maiden voyage from Stockholm harbor towards Poland, where a war was raging in the Baltic. Built by 400 craftsmen at the royal shipyard at Stockholm, the ship was richly decorated as a symbol of the king's ambitions for Sweden and himself. It was 69 meters long and was fitted with 64 cannons, and upon completion, it was of the most powerfully armed vessels in the world of that time. Unfortunately, Vasa was too top heavy and dangerously unstable. Despite the lack of stability, the king was eager to see her in battle and pushed her to sea. On the day of departure, a swelling crowd gathered at the harbor to watch the ship leave. Over a hundred crewmen along with women and children were on board as the crew was permitted to take family and guests along for the first part of the passage. After sailing just 1,300 meters, at the first strong breeze, the ship foundered, leaned over and sank. Around 30 people lost their lives. This is the story of the Vasa and its parallels to software engineering.

1. The Vasa Redux
Monitorama 2017

2. The Vasa Redux
Monitorama 2017
https://pete.wtf/vasa/

3. @petecheslock
17th Century Shipbuilding
and Your Failed Software Project

4. @petecheslock
Eventually You’ll Ruin Everything
and No One Can Help You

5. @petecheslock
You’re probably going to break it.
and that is OK.

6. @petecheslock
There are 2 types of Ops
People who
have fucked
up Production
People about to
fuck up
Production

7. @petecheslock

8. @petecheslock

9. @petecheslock

10. @petecheslock

11. @petecheslock

12. @petecheslock

13. @petecheslock
#FlintstoneOps

14. @petecheslock

15. @petecheslock

16. @petecheslock
Summary of S3 Service Disruption in US-EAST-1
The Amazon Simple Storage Service (S3) team was debugging an
issue causing the S3 billing system to progress more slowly than
expected. At 9:37AM PST, an authorized S3 team member using an
established playbook executed a command which was intended to
remove a small number of servers for one of the S3 subsystems that
is used by the S3 billing process. Unfortunately, one of the inputs to
the command was entered incorrectly and a larger set of servers
was removed than intended. The servers that were inadvertently
removed supported two other S3 subsystems.

17. @petecheslock
#FlintstoneOps

19. @petecheslock

20. @petecheslock

21. @petecheslock

22. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vasa_(ship)#/media/File:Vasa_stern_color_model.jpg

23. @petecheslock

24. @petecheslock
Two 108 foot ships
I need 4 ships
by the end of
the sprint!
Two 135 foot ships

25. @petecheslock
SCOPE
CHANGE!!!
Two 108 foot ships
One 135 foot ship

26. @petecheslock

27. @petecheslock
ships_v9_final_FINAL.docx
Here is the
Final plan.
Two 108 foot ships - ASAP
Zero 135 foot ships

28. @petecheslock
The Vasa Started
as 108 Foot
But Ended as 135 Foot
This is fine.

29. @petecheslock
No really,
THIS is the
Final plan.
Two 108 foot ships - ASAP
Two 120 foot ships
ships_v10_final_FINAL_REALLY.docx

30. @petecheslock
No really,
THIS is the
Final plan.
ships_v10_final_FINAL_REALLY.docx
Two 108 foot ships - ASAP
Two 120 foot ships
Two 111 foot ships

31. @petecheslock
TWO GUN
DECKS???
ships_v10_final_FINAL_REALLY_TWO_IS_BETTER.docx
Two 108 foot ships - ASAP
Two 120 foot ships
Two 111 foot ships
Two 135 foot ships

32. @petecheslock
Scaling Up on Cloud

34. @petecheslock
32 - 24-Pound guns

35. @petecheslock
32 - 24-Pound guns
36 - 24-Pound guns, 24 12-Pound guns,
8 48-Pound mortars, 10 smaller guns.

36. @petecheslock
32 - 24-Pound guns
36 - 24-Pound guns, 24 12-Pound guns,
8 48-Pound mortars, 10 smaller guns.
many additional revisions later…
30 - 24-Pound guns (lower deck)
30 - 12-Pound guns (upper deck)

37. @petecheslock
32 - 24-Pound guns
36 - 24-Pound guns, 24 12-Pound guns,
8 48-Pound mortars, 10 smaller guns.
many additional revisions later…
30 - 24-Pound guns (lower deck)
30 - 12-Pound guns (upper deck)
64 - 24-Pound guns (spilt on each deck)

39. @petecheslock

41. @petecheslock

42. @petecheslock
Did you just call me lopsided?

43. @petecheslock

45. @petecheslock
Swedish Foot = 29.69 cm
“Stockholm fot”

46. @petecheslock
Swedish Foot = 29.69 cm
“Stockholm fot”
Amsterdam Foot = 28.3133 cm
“Amsterdamse voet”
There were 10, 11, 12 or 13 duimen
(inches) in a voet, depending on the
city's local regulations.

47. @petecheslock
Swedish Foot = 29.69 cm
“Stockholm fot”
Amsterdam Foot = 28.3133 cm
“Amsterdamse voet”
Difference = 4.74%

48. @petecheslock

51. @petecheslock
“God grant that the ship will stand
upright on her keel.”
Officer Matsson:
“The shipbuilder had built ships
before and you should not be worried”
Admiral Fleming:
“The ship is narrow at the bottom and
lacks enough belly.”
Officer Matsson:
“Hold my beer”Admiral Fleming:

53. @petecheslock

54. @petecheslock
Excessive Schedule Pressures

55. @petecheslock
Excessive Schedule Pressures
Changing Requirements

56. @petecheslock
Excessive Schedule Pressures
Changing Requirements
No Technical Documentation

57. @petecheslock
Excessive Schedule Pressures
Changing Requirements
No Technical Documentation
No Documented Project Plan

58. @petecheslock
Excessive Schedule Pressures
Changing Requirements
No Technical Documentation
No Documented Project Plan
Excessive Innovation

59. @petecheslock
Excessive Schedule Pressures
Changing Requirements
No Technical Documentation
No Documented Project Plan
Excessive Innovation
Secondary Innovations

60. @petecheslock
Excessive Schedule Pressures
Changing Requirements
No Technical Documentation
No Documented Project Plan
Excessive Innovation
Secondary Innovations
Requirements Creep

61. @petecheslock
Excessive Schedule Pressures
Changing Requirements
No Technical Documentation
No Documented Project Plan
Excessive Innovation
Secondary Innovations
Requirements Creep
Lack of Standards on Measurement

62. @petecheslock
Excessive Schedule Pressures
Changing Requirements
No Technical Documentation
No Documented Project Plan
Excessive Innovation
Secondary Innovations
Requirements Creep
Lack of Standards on Measurement
Lack of Scientific Methods

63. @petecheslock
Excessive Schedule Pressures
Changing Requirements
No Technical Documentation
No Documented Project Plan
Excessive Innovation
Secondary Innovations
Requirements Creep
Lack of Standards on Measurement
Lack of Scientific Methods
Launching after Tests Failed

64. @petecheslock
Excessive Schedule Pressures
Changing Requirements
No Technical Documentation
No Documented Project Plan
Excessive Innovation
Secondary Innovations
Requirements Creep
Lack of Standards on Measurement
Lack of Scientific Methods
Launching after Tests Failed
Failed Tests Never Communicated

65. @petecheslock
Excessive Schedule Pressures
Changing Requirements
No Technical Documentation
No Documented Project Plan
Excessive Innovation
Secondary Innovations
Requirements Creep
Lack of Standards on Measurement
Lack of Scientific Methods
Launching after Tests Failed
Failed Tests Never Communicated

66. @petecheslock
– George Santayana
“Those who cannot remember the past are
condemned to repeat it”

67. @petecheslock

68. Thank You
Monitorama 2017 Oh no!
https://pete.wtf/vasa