Presentation for parents by Patrick Carruth and Jeff Gephart

3. PERFECTIONISM IN OUR CHILDREN?

5. PERFECTIONISM IN US?

6. "You can see that the problem with perfectionism
begins when we move beyond the legitimate
pursuit of excellence to live under the tyranny of
believing that perfection is possible and failures
are unacceptable. Standards of productivity,
accomplishment or appearance are so high that
they are impossible to attain.

7. When our self-worth and self-respect depend on
reaching those standards, the result is an
inevitable script for self-defeat: one’s own
personal hell of repeated failure, self-criticism and
depression. Notice that it is the degree of intensity
with which we pursue impossible goals, and the
degree to which we feel that our worth is
dependent on reaching those goals, that defines
the difference between healthy and unhealthy
perfectionism."
(pg. 36 Perfecting Ourselves to Death by Richard
Winter)

8. “…the problem with perfectionism
begins when we move beyond the
legitimate pursuit of excellence to live
under the tyranny of believing that
perfection is possible and failures are
unacceptable. “

9. EXCELLENCE IN THE CLASSICAL WORLD

10. PLATO AND ARISTOTLE

11. NICHOMACHAEN ETHICS

12. VIRTUE
Meaning a "moral life and conduct, moral excellence,"
from Latin virtus meaning "moral strength,
manliness, valor, excellence, worth," from vir
meaning "man or husband".
The four classical virtues:
Temperance
Justice
Prudence
Courage

13. EUDAIMONIA
Means "producing or maintaining happiness with an
objectively desirable life.“ Literally means “having a
good or guardian spirit (eu + daimon).

14. ARÊTE
Is an important concept in Greek philosophy, generally
meaning "virtue, excellence," especially of “manly”
qualities; lit. "that which is good." The superlative is
aristos (best), from which we get the word
aristocracy (aristo + kratos).
Fulfilling potential
Life long journey
Effort not intellect

15. PAIDEIA
From the Greek pais, paidos. The upbringing of a
child (similar to the words pedagogy and
pediatrics). It is the equivalent of the Latin
humanitas (from which we get the humanities),
signifying the general learning that should be the
possession of all human beings.
Paideia meant the process of educating man into his
true form, the real and genuine human nature.
David Naugle

16. PAIDEIA
The classical Greek system of education and training,
which came to include gymnastics, grammar,
rhetoric, poetry, music, mathematics, geography,
natural history, astronomy and the physical
sciences, history of society and ethics, and
philosophy—the complete pedagogical course of
study necessary to produce a well-rounded, fully
educated citizen.”
Richard Tarnas, The Passion of the Western
Mind, pp. 29-30.

17. PAIDEIA
The True
The Good
The Beautiful
The making of the human (humanitas), not the
training of men

18. PHILIPPIANS 3:12-15
12 Not that I have already obtained all
this, or have already arrived at my goal,
but I press on to take hold of that for
which Christ Jesus took hold of me. 13
Brothers and sisters, I do not consider
myself yet to have taken hold of it.

19. PHILIPPIANS 3:12-15
But one thing I do: Forgetting what is
behind and straining toward what is
ahead, 14 I press on toward the goal to
win the prize for which God has called
me heavenward in Christ Jesus.

20. PHILIPPIANS 3:12-15
15 All of us, then, who are mature should
take such a view of things. And if on
some point you think differently, that too
God will make clear to you. 16 Only let us
live up to what we have already attained.

21. I Am the Kite
I am the kite:
Red and orange,
Fire in the sky,
Stunt Kite,
Cutting loops
And gashes in the blue,
My skin vibrates
On my frame with power.

22. I Am the Kite (cont’d)
I cut the cord
To fly yet higher still,
To show the rest
What freedom's all about.
I turn and twist
My fanciest curl
And set my course
For distance.

23. I Am the Kite (cont’d)
But, my mistake
Was not
To take the wind for granted,
But the cord
That tensioned me
To one I did not see
So far below.
The flyer is not me.

24. I Am the Kite (cont’d)
Lord, give me the anchor. Give
me pause.
Let me know in freedom's
limited flight,
The kite's first cause.
Bruce Barton Bailey
Sunday, May 29, 1994

25. PERFECTIONISM VS. EXCELLENCE
FROM JEFF BAAS
Being Wrong
PERFECTIONISM
is the fear of being
wrong.
EXCELLENCE is
the willingness to
be wrong and to
learn from it.
Not Measuring Up
PERFECTIONISM
is fear that others
might think you
don’t measure up.
EXCELLENCE is a
desire to be the
best you can be.
Freedom
PERFECTIONISM
is confining.
EXCELLENCE is
freeing.

26. PERFECTIONISM VS. EXCELLENCE
Openness
PERFECTIONISM
is closing yourself
off.
EXCELLENCE is
opening yourself
up.
Direction
PERFECTIONISM
is remaining right
where you’ve
always been.
EXCELLENCE is a
journey of
discovery.
Improvement
PERFECTIONISM
is fearing
something
unpleasant will
come from your
efforts.
EXCELLENCE is
an excitement over
the improvements
that you will help
discover.

27. REALIZE
We are fallen Image Bearers and the inability
to perfect ourselves
We live in the present by grace, without fear
of past or future

28. OBSERVE AND EMPHASIZE
Watch for signs in self and children
Emphasize process instead of outcome
Emphasize character development over
appearance or performance
The work of Christ and the pull of Grace
toward excellence

29. "Humility, which involves losing our
self-sufficiency, is a secret of soul
rest because it does not presume to
secure outcomes.“
Dallas Willard
from Renovation of the Heart

30. When You Come Back Down
music and lyrics by Nickel Creek
You got to leave me now, you got to go alone
You got to chase a dream, one that's all your
own
Before it slips away
When you're flyin' high, take my heart along
I'll be the harmony to every lonely song
That you learn to play

31. When you're soarin' through the air
I'll be your solid ground
Take every chance you dare
I'll still be there
When you come back down
When you come back down

32. I'll keep lookin' up awaitin' your return
My greatest fear will be that you will crash and
burn
And I won't feel your fire
I'll be the other hand that always holds the line
Connectin' in between your sweet heart and mine
I'm strung out on that wire

33. And I'll be on the other end
To hear you when you call
Angel, you were born to fly
And if you get too high
I'll catch you when you fall
I'll catch you when you fall

34. Your memory's the sunshine every new day
brings
I know the sky is calling
Angel, let me help you with your wings

35. When you're soarin' through the air
I'll be your solid ground
Take every chance you dare
I'll still be there
When you come back down

36. Take every chance you dare
I'll still be there
When you come back down
When you come back down