Perfectionism vs excellence

1. PERFECTIONISM VS. EXCELLENCE Audra Rowell, Advanced Academics Coordinator

2. Announcements  TAGT Scholarship  http://www.txgifted.org/scholarships  February 27  Summer Enrichment Scholarships  2 Senior Scholarships  TAGT/SMI Scholarships  Duke TIP 4th – 6th Grade  https://tip.duke.edu/  March 31, 2016  Advanced Academics/Gifted Website  http://www.nisdtx.org/Page/519

3. Who’s Here?

4. Perfectionis m Anxiety Underachieveme nt v. Selective Consumer Resilience Overexcitabilities Super Sensitivity High Involvement Extra Perception

5. Goal  Distinguish between perfection and excellence.  Understand the traits of perfectionism.  Develop strategies to help the perfectionists in our lives.

6. Gifted or Goof Off?

7. Table Talk  How do perfectionists . . .  act?  think?  feel?  Where do you think perfection comes from?

8. Duck Syndrome

9. Results of Perfectionism

10. Types of Perfectionists  Academic Achievers: unrealistically high expectations  Risk Evaders: fear failure due to asynchronous development or physical limitations  Aggravated Accuracy Assessors: attempt task, get frustrated with inability to meet mind’s ideal  Controlling Image Managers: want others to regard them as perfect  Procrastinating Perfectionists: plan extensive project, fail to start for fear of inability to achieve perfect vision (Adelson & Wilson, 2009)

11. Who Will You Become? Will you chase perfection or pursue excellence?

12. Perfection or Excellence? 1. Perfectionism means thinking less of yourself because you earned a B+ instead of an A. 2. Perfectionism means being hard on yourself because you aren’t equally talented in all sports. 3. Perfectionism means beating yourself up because you lost the student council election. 1. The Pursuit of Excellence means thinking more of yourself for trying something new. 2. The Pursuit of Excellence means choosing some things you know you’ll be good at—and others you know will be good for you or just plain fun. 3. The Pursuit of Excellence means congratulating yourself because you were nominated and deciding to run again next year—if that’s what you want. Perfectionism Pursuit of Excellence

13. Putting the Brakes on Perfectionism  Show children that you value them more for who they are as people than for what they can do.  Help them understand that mistakes are a normal part of learning.  Encourage a sense of humor.  Celebrate creativity and originality.  Involve them in activities that aren't graded or judged.  Communicate with the child's teacher. Smutny, J. F. (2014).

14. Lessen the Anxiety  Applaud children's efforts, especially when they take risks or overcome obstacles.  Help them plan for new challenges:  Talk to them about their concerns, what difficulties they might encounter.  What actions they can take, even in the "worst case scenario."

15. Reflection  Have you had an a-ha?  What thinking has this spurred for you?

16. Teach Students Not to Take it Personally  Students need to learn to separate their self-worth from their products.  Evaluation simply reflects the extent to which their work matches the criteria used for grading.  After a "cooling period" a parent might begin a discussion by asking to see the rubric or evaluation criteria used. Parents can support their children by focusing first on the content that meets the criteria. Children might identify one thing to improve upon when a new project is assigned. Pyryt, M. (2004). Helping Gifted Students Cope with Perfectionism. Parenting for High Potential National Association for Gifted Children (NAGC) , http://www.davidsongifted.org/db/Articles_print_id_10459.aspx

17. Match the Time Commitment to the Value of Assignments  Students need to know that effort is important.  If a student wants want to earn the highest grade, he/she should put the most effort into the assignments or components that count the most.  Parents can help children express their understanding of the weightings of the different parts of the assignment and how they have addressed each part. Pyryt, M. (2004).

18. Know When to Quit  Parents can help their children by . . .  guiding them to find closure at the end of each step  by routinely having discussions on project expectations;  asking questions about the parameters of the project.  helping them develop monitoring skills to check that their projects fall within the expected parameters.

19. Set Goals and Focus on Improvement  Attainment of excellence typically occurs as a result of small incremental improvements over time rather than quantum leaps.  Parents can help students  generate goals,  determine the steps needed to accomplish the goals,  develop an action plan for achieving their goals, and  monitoring attainment toward the goal.  The acronym SMART (Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Realistic, and Timeframe-provided) can be used to facilitate the goal-setting process. Pyryt, M. (2004).

21. Reflection  Have you had an a-ha?  What thinking has this spurred for you?

22. The Path to Success

23. The Path to Success

24. The Path to Success What are some struggles and challenges you have faced that you can share with your student?

25. Tips for Parents & Teachers in Managing Perfectionism  Watch for signs of unhealthy perfectionism and intervene if necessary.  Adults should model a healthy approach and be aware of their own predispositions toward compulsive excellence.  Refrain from setting high, non-negotiable standards.  Emphasize the effort and process, not the end result.  Do not withhold affection, support, or encouragement if goals are not met.  Teach your gifted child to manage perfectionistic behaviors and focus on positive self-talk. NAGC, 2014, Perfectionism. Retrieved on August 1, 2014 from Tips for Parents & Teachers in Managing Perfectionism. http://www.nagc.org/resources-publications/resources- parents/social-emotional-issues/perfectionism#sthash.lXpVt39T.dpuf

26. Weebles Wobble . . .

27. Change your Focus  Determine the sources of your perfectionism.  Reassess your feelings about failure or success.  Stand your ground against people who pressure you to be perfect.  Learn ways to be easier on yourself so you’re free to take risks and try new things.  Look for joy.  What are some other ways to pursue excellence or avoid the perfection trap? (Delisle & Galbraith, 2002).

28. Set out for Ithaka

29. As you set out for Ithaka hope the voyage is a long one, full of adventure, full of discovery . . . Keep Ithaka always in your mind. Arriving there is what you are destined for. But do not hurry the journey at all. Better if it lasts for years, so you are old by the time you reach the island, wealthy with all you have gained on the way, not expecting Ithaka to make you rich. Ithaka gave you the marvelous journey. Without her you would not have set out. She has nothing left to give you now. And if you find her poor, Ithaka won’t have fooled you. Wise as you will have become, so full of experience, you will have understood by then what these Ithakas mean.

31. 1 thing I would like to know more about is . . . 1 thing that clicked for me. My next step is . . .

32. Books

33. References Adelson, J. L., & Wilson, H. E. (2009). Letting go of perfect: Overcoming perfectionism in kids. Waco, TX: Prufrock Press “Anxiety BD” (2014). How to overcome perfectionism. Retrieved on August 1, 2014 from http://www.anxietybc.com/sites/default/files/Perfectionism.pdf Deihl, E. (2014) Is perfectionism growth-minded? Obtained July 29, 2014 from http://community.mindsetworks.com/blog-page/home-blogs/entry/is- perfectionism-growth-minded Delisle, J. & Galbraith, J. (2002). When gifted kids don’t have all the answers. Minneapolis, MN: Free Spirit Publishing. NAGC, 2014, Perfectionism. Retrieved on August 1, 2014 from Tips for Parents & Teachers in Managing Perfectionism

34. References Pyryt, M. (2004). Helping Gifted Students Cope with Perfectionism. Parenting for High Potential. National Association for Gifted Children (NAGC), http://www.davidsongifted.org/db/Articles_print_id_10459.aspx Smutny, J. F. (2014). Preventing perfectionism in children. National PTA. Obtained on August 1, 2014 from http://www.pta.org/programs/content.cfm?ItemNumber=1769 Van Gemert, L. (2014). The perils of perfectionism and ways to make it better. Retrieved on August 1, 2014 from http://www.giftedguru.com/forget-your- perfect-offering-perfectionism-and-the-gifted-learner/ Schuler, P. A. (2014) “Perfectionism: blessing or burden? Creative Insights. Obtained on August 1, 2014 from http://www.slideshare.net/ecugifted/ecu- perfect-ho?related=1 Take this test to see if you are a Perfectionist

Perfectionism vs excellence

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Perfectionism vs excellence