Dick, a private detective, is hired to find a client's stolen family jewels. He tracks them down but gets mixed up with the mob. Later, he has a strange encounter with an alien named Arthur who takes him aboard his spaceship. Dick demands to see the ship's leader to find out why he's being held captive.

1. THE DETECTIVE
Pilot: The Family Jewels
An Animated Sitcom
Written by
Thomas Vohasek
Thomas.vohasek@gmail.com WGA # 1824096
(708)846-1410

2. TEASER
OVERBLACK
A trumpet whines, similar to the opening of Chinatown.
Title Card: 1959, Los Angeles
Then, a voice that sounds like Humphrey Bogart.
DICK (V.O.)
My Private Eye work was going well.
Had a nice home, a nice office, and
a client who was looking for
something important.
We hear ice cracking in a glass.
Fade up on...
WHISKEY GLASS
DICK
Your father’s family jewels were
stolen? That must be...incredibly
painful.
Amber liquid and ice fill the glass. A hand shakes it. We
are...
INT. DICK’S OFFICE - 1959 - DAY
The Detective, DICK, late ‘50s, mostly black hair, in a nice
suit, getting too old for this shit, nurses the whiskey
glass.
DICK
I’m not really in the business of
recovering missing organs.
He sits down in a cushy chair behind his slick finished desk,
puts his feet up. The office is large, nice. Dark blue carpet
and wall paint. A large fern in the corner next to a sitting
area with arm chairs.
SANDRA
I’m not looking for his organs.
Across the desk from Dick sits SANDRA, early ‘30’s,
beautiful, curvy with close cropped blonde hair. A purple
dress barely covers her legs. For the late ‘50’s its
scandalous. A large hat with a veil blocks her face.

3. SANDRA (CONT’D)
Those are most likely rotting and
worm infested.
DICK
That must be some disease.
Sandra pretends he hasn’t spoken.
SANDRA
His diamonds however are worth
quite a bit of money.
DICK
Are you sure I couldn’t just
furnish you with my set of family
jewels?
SANDRA
Are yours worth twenty thousand
dollars?
DICK
You can’t put a price on anatomy.
SANDRA
Maybe after.
SMASH CUT TO:
EXT. ALLEY - NIGHT
The alley is just off a Pawn Shop. The back door opens on the
alley.
DICK (V.O.)
This is the place she told me they
were going to try and sell them.
And I was there. Easy money.
A man, BRUCE, walks through the alley, toward the Pawn Shop
door. He looks shifty. Dick attacks, throwing him to the
ground and viciously beating his face to a pulp.
DICK
(Batman voice)
Where are the diamonds?
BRUCE
What diamonds?
2.

4. DICK
(Batman voice)
The ones you’re here to sell.
BRUCE
I just wanted some porn, I’m sorry,
so sorry.
Dick stops beating him.
DICK
(returns to normal voice)
Wait, seriously?
BRUCE
Yeah.
A MAN walks by toward the pawn shop back entrance.
DICK
(to Bruce)
‘Cuse me.
DICK (V.O.)
I should have known things were too
good to be true. Everything was set
for me to take a dive.
Bruce sits up.
BRUCE
Dick.
END OF TEASER
3.

5. ACT ONE
INT. ELEVATOR BAY - DAY
The elevator grills slide open to reveal Sandra, and a young
boy, CARL, 10, in full elevator operator uniform. Sandra
stares deeply into her compact, and adjusts her make up, the
veil getting in the way. Carl, nervous, jumps off the
elevator and rushes toward...
INT. DICK’S OFFICE - DAY - CONTINUOUS
Throwing the door open, Carl rushes to Dick.
DICK (V.O.)
I was a bit overworked, and I took
a nap in my office.
Dick is passed out in one of the armchairs, an empty whiskey
bottle clutched in his grip. A dozen more dot the room around
him. Carl shakes Dick.
CARL
You’ve a client coming. A lady.
DICK
Is she the one who offered to play
with my family jewels?
Dick hasn’t even opened his eyes.
CARL
Your jewels?
DICK
Rhetorical question.
CARL
She’s right outside.
SANDRA
No rush.
Sandra enters the room and sits down in front of the desk.
Dick sits up and turns to her.
DICK
Nice to see you again.
SANDRA
So I assume you didn’t find my
jewels.
4.

6. DICK
You mean these?
He holds out his hand to reveal two large clear diamonds.
SANDRA
Good Lord. You found them?
DICK
Had to beat up a lot of people in
the process...about seventeen.
Apparently a lot of people use the
back door to that pawn shop.
Sandra stands, take the jewels from Dick’s hand. She examines
them. Now she’s way more into him.
SANDRA
Oh, really, my handsome rugged man.
She seems satisfied they are the real ones.
DICK
Now about my family jewels.
CARL
(whispered to Dick)
You have family jewels?
DICK
Doesn’t everyone?
SANDRA
You could take me to dinner.
DICK
Playing with my jewels in public?
Kinky.
SANDRA
You have my address.
DICK
I’ll be there.
SANDRA
Eight o’clock.
DICK
Good.
SANDRA
See you tonight.
5.

7. She wanders from the room.
CARL
You never let me play with your
family jewels.
DICK
You’re a bit young for that.
CARL
I thought your family was poor.
DICK
No one’s that poor. Everyone gets a
set.
CARL
Where are mine?
Dick looks at Carl.
DICK
Go get me a few more bottles.
CARL
(delighted)
Will do.
He exits.
DICK (V.O.)
Good kid. Completely hopeless.
A knock on the door.
DICK
Enter.
RALPH enters. Pin stripe suit, slicked back black hair, a rat
face. Everything about him screams shady. Dick takes his
accustomed seat behind the desk. Ralph sits down in front.
DICK (CONT’D)
Well?
RALPH
My family jewels were stolen.
DICK
Seems to be an epidemic.
Dick opens his desk drawer and grabs a whiskey bottle. His
face falls when he realizes its empty.
6.

8. RALPH
I don’t find this funny.
DICK
Most people don’t.
Carl enters carrying as many whiskey bottles as he can hold.
DICK (CONT’D)
Thanks, Carl.
He takes one, bites the cork and pulls it out with his teeth.
Spits it away, drinks.
CARL
Mr. Gutterberg says you need to
settle up with him soon or he’s
going to cut you off.
DICK
Got it.
Dick takes the other bottles and sticks them into his desk.
Ralph watches this.
RALPH
I’m trying to hire you.
DICK
Obviously.
RALPH
Are you going to look for my family
jewels or not?
DICK
Not.
RALPH
And why not?
DICK
I’ve got a nice office.
RALPH
So?
DICK
I can afford it. I can afford a
nice house and I’ve got a beautiful
girl lined up for bed tonight so
why do I need you or your dirty
money?
7.

9. RALPH
You’ll regret this.
DICK
You scream mob.
RALPH
Isn’t the mob someone you don’t
want on your bad side.
DICK
I don’t want anything to do with
your family jewels. Go take care of
that yourself.
A light goes on over Carl’s head. A literal light bulb sits
on top of his hat.
CARL
Oh, I get it now.
DICK
Good. More fun if someone else is
in on it.
The light bulb falls off Carl’s cap into the fern.
CARL
I asked to play with your...
DICK
You totally did.
CARL
Oh, God.
Carl is dying laughing.
RALPH
What are you talking about?
DICK
You’d have to be there.
Ralph fumes.
RALPH
Listen you little...
DICK
Get out.
8.

10. Dick has a large revolver pointed at Ralph. Ralph stares at
it, goes for his own. Bang! Dick fires. Ralph falls to the
floor, blood pouring from his leg.
DICK (CONT’D)
Be happy it wasn’t your face...
(barely stopping himself
from laughing)
...or your family jewels.
Carl falls to the ground and rolls around on the floor in
laughter.
DICK (CONT’D)
That’s never going to get old.
RALPH
It already has.
DICK
Hasn’t. Just ask Carl Poppa there.
Finally getting a hold of himself, Carl rises from the floor.
CARL
I’ll get his gun.
He does. Ralph stares daggers at the child as he takes the
gun from his belt.
DICK
Now get out. And try not to get too
much blood on the carpet.
Ralph slides along the floor, clutching his bleeding leg.
EXT. LOS ANGELES STREETS - NIGHT
Dick drives a large bright red convertible through the
darkening city streets. Top down, the night wind whipping
around him. It doesn’t displace his hat.
EXT. MANSION - NIGHT
The mansion is well kept up. Large with a conservatory
covered in vines. Basically the Disney World exterior of the
Haunted Mansion before it became haunted.
Dick pulls up in the red convertible and parks. He gets out,
stuffs his hands in his overcoat pockets and wanders toward
the house.
9.

11. He examines the well maintained garden at his leisure. He
reaches the porch and pulls on the bell cord. A bell rings
inside. No answer. Again. No answer. Dick tries the handle.
The door falls open.
DICK
Sandra?
SANDRA (O.S.)
Enter.
DICK (V.O.)
She didn’t have to tell me twice.
He enters...
INT. MANSION - NIGHT - CONTINUOUS
The foyer is dark and deserted. Dick looks around, searching
for Sandra.
DICK
Where are you?
SANDRA (O.S.)
I’m in here, you silly boy.
Dick follows her voice upstairs and into...
INT. BALLROOM - NIGHT - CONTINUOUS
The ballroom is open, with a piano in the corner, and dark
pink curtains along the walls. A sofa sits against the far
wall. Sandra lounges upon it.
SANDRA
Did you actually savage seventeen
people to get my diamonds back?
She holds the diamonds up to barely touch her nipples through
her purple dress. Her dress is slid up around her thighs,
showing off her legs for Dick. Dick’s mouth falls open. He’s
salivating.
DICK
It might’ve been eighteen.
SANDRA
Oh, you naughty boy.
10.

12. DICK
I lost count, honestly. Could’ve
been twenty.
DICK (V.O.)
It was five.
SANDRA
Why don’t we forget dinner?
DICK
Perfect.
SANDRA
I think you’re hungry for something
else.
DICK
Oh, I am.
He rushes in, and dives on top of her.
INT. BALLROOM - NIGHT - LATER
A purple dress, over coat and hat begin a trail of clothes
leading to Dick and Sandra, covered by a sheet on the sofa,
clearly naked beneath. They’re smoking a joint.
DICK
Got if off one of the twenty five
guys I beat up to get your family
jewels.
SANDRA
I feel bad. I didn’t beat anyone up
to get your family jewels.
DICK
Is that ever going to get old?
A light bulb appears over Sandra’s head.
SANDRA
I’ve got an idea.
SMASH CUT TO:
INT. KITCHEN - NIGHT
Sandra and Dick stand in the kitchen, naked, staring into the
oven. Brownies cook within.
11.

13. DICK
Those are going to be so good.
INT. LIBRARY - NIGHT
Still naked, Sandra and Dick wander through the library
stuffing their mouths with brownies. They stare at books
along the walls. Sandra kneels beside a plant and starts
feeling the leaves.
SANDRA
How did this get here?
DICK
What’s happening to my jewels?
Dick is staring at his genitals. Sandra walks over to him and
looks down.
SANDRA
They’re fine.
DICK
But look.
He shakes his hips.
SANDRA
That’s an erection, dear.
DICK (V.O.)
I was a little out of it.
INT. FOYER - NIGHT
Dick wakes up on the floor. He’s dressed again. Rubbing his
eyes he sits up.
DICK (V.O.)
I had no idea how I’d gotten there
and I had not idea how I’d put my
clothes back on...or why.
DICK
Sandy?
He rises, slowly, stiff. A stick breaks outside. He looks out
the window. A group of men slink toward the house, guns
drawn. Ralph sits in a car, his hands folded over the head of
his cane.
12.

14. DICK (CONT’D)
That might have something to do
with it.
Then he hears the voice coming from outside.
SANDRA (O.S.)
Come and get me!
DICK
Oh, shit.
Dick throws the door open, drawing his revolver.
EXT. MANSION - NIGHT - CONTINUOUS
Sandra aims a large shotgun at the men approaching her house.
RALPH
I told you you’d regret this.
Ralph calls out from the car as he sees Dick. Dick fires
haphazardly at Ralph. He screams in pain.
DICK
Get back inside, Sandra.
SANDRA
No.
She fires and one of the mob men vanishes in a haze of blood.
DICK
(appreciatively)
Damn.
SANDRA
Get off of my property. Now.
Ralph sits in the car, clutching his arm, where Dick shot him
just now.
RALPH
Kill them both!
Dick and Sandra start shooting taking out mob men left and
right. The men fire at them. Missing, badly.
DICK
You guys suck at this. And we’re
high.
13.

15. Bang! Ralph lowers his gun. Dick looks down. No bullet hole
in him. He looks back to the gun and follows the direction it
was aimed at. Sandra lays on the ground, the shotgun beside
her. Eyes closed.
DICK (CONT’D)
No.
A beam of light, brighter than any natural beam of light can
be, falls on Dick. He stares at it. The beam lifts him off
the ground.
Ralph watches as Dick floats into the hovering space ship.
The ship is circular with protruding sharp points protruding.
Dick enters the ship. The beam vanishes. The ship takes off.
END OF ACT ONE
14.

16. ACT TWO
INT. SPACE SHIP - NIGHT - CONTINUOUS
The ship is barren steal. Dick and ARTHUR sit around a table
glossy metal table.
Arthur is a Gray. Small body, gray skin, with enormous black
glassy eyes. He has a mouth but he moves it out of sync with
his words.
DICK (V.O.)
That’s Arthur. He’s an alien if you
haven’t figure that out. He’s not
so bad, I’ve gotten to know him
pretty well.
Dick seems depressed. Arthur shakes his fist menacingly. Oh,
no. Is he going to hurt Dick? He opens his hand and a dice
falls out onto the table.
ARTHUR
One. I’m never going to get to the
Con-serve-a-tor-e.
He reaches out with that long fingered ET hand and moves the
blue piece one step closer to the Conservatory. They are
playing “Clue.”
INT. SPACE SHIP - NIGHT - FLASHBACK
Arthur and Dick sit around the table. A large silver tray
holds a twitching face-hugger a la Alien. Reaching out,
Arthur rips off a leg and swallows it whole through a blow
hole in the top of his head. The blow hole spits out bits of
exoskeleton.
DICK (V.O.)
I’ve gotten to know him too well.
We return to...
INT. SPACE SHIP - NIGHT - PRESENT
Dick stares at Arthur moving the Mrs. Peacock piece.
ARTHUR
Your turn.
15.

17. Arthur stares at him, attempting to batter his way into
Dick’s mind.
DICK
I asked you not to do that.
ARTHUR (V.O.)
But you are not talking with me.
We realize this has been beamed directly into Dick’s mind.
DICK
Why am I being kept here?
ARTHUR
You’ll have to ask the King. Now
who do you think did something in
this room with what tiny object?
DICK
Take me to your leader.
ARTHUR
Dick?
Dick stands. He throws the table aside.
DICK
I think the Detective killed the
alien in the isolation room with
his fists.
His shadow falls over Arthur. Arthur quivers in fear.
ARTHUR (V.O.)
Dick, please.
INT. CONSERVATORY - NIGHT
The conservatory is filled with plants, some are indigenous
to Earth, others are alien and crazy colored. Dick drags
Arthur through the conservatory. Arthur is covered in vivid
blue bruises.
A SENTRY dressed like Bobba Fett rushes toward them, aiming a
RAY GUN. Dick punches him and throws him into a VENUS FLY
TRAP like plant that’s huge. It eats him.
Dick picks up the ray gun and nods his head appreciatively.
16.

18. INT. THE BRIDGE - NIGHT
Dick hurls Arthur into the space. He slaps the ground and
slides slowly along the floor, and comes to a stop at the
foot of a metal swivel chair.
Dick enters. It might as well be the bridge of The
Enterprise. Control panels along the walls. Swivel chairs.
The biggest of which supports a Gray with a platinum crown
too big for his head.
KING LARS turns the swivel chair toward the door and surveys
Dick. He stands. He is larger than Arthur, but not by much,
still much shorter than Dick. Lars speaks without the show of
moving his lips.
KING LARS (V.O.)
What is your purpose here,
Earthling?
DICK
Why am I being held a captive?
KING LARS (V.O.)
I do not know. Arthur, stand.
Arthur picks himself up off the floor. Bright blue bruises
cover his face. It swells and pulses, livid and painful.
Arthur moves his lips as he speaks.
ARTHUR
Your majesty.
KING LARS (V.O.)
You were supposed to replace this
Earthling on his planet only a few
hours after we took him.
ARTHUR
I know, I know. But I just
couldn’t.
DICK
Wait a second. You could have
dropped me off at any time?
ARTHUR
Sort of.
DICK
You little space bastard.
17.

19. KING LARS (V.O.)
We are sorry for this
inconvenience, Earthling.
DICK
As I see it, it wasn’t your fault.
He gives Arthur a malevolent look. Arthur cowers.
KING LARS (V.O.)
If it is of any consolation, while
aboard this ship you do not age as
rapidly as you do below.
DICK
How’s that?
KING LARS (V.O.)
The air pumped through the ship is
partially oxygen, but there are
also regenerative organisms that
enter your blood stream.
Midichlorians.
King Lars raises a hand and fixes his gaze on an empty seat.
It breaks off of the ship and totters into the air. Arthur
looks back to Dick.
ARTHUR
Pretty cool, right.
DICK (V.O.)
Great, now the aliens are magic.
Dick rolls his eyes. Then it occurs to him. He raises a hand
and lifts Arthur into the air using the Force. He hurls him
into the window. Cracks spiderweb away from Arthur’s impact.
Dick pulls Arthur back using magic.
KING LARS (V.O.)
What are you doing, Earthling?
DICK
I want off this ship.
KING LARS (V.O.)
Jesus, we will put you down on
Earth. Humans, cannot live with
them as test subjects, cannot
understand Earth culture without
them.
18.

20. EXT. SPACE - NIGHT
The ship banks toward Earth.
KING LARS (V.O.)
You will take Arthur to live among
the humans, so that me may learn
your ways. When we feel he has
learned enough he will return to
us.
A beam of light shoots toward the planet. Two figures descend
in the beam.
EXT. HOLLYWOOD AND VINE - NIGHT
BEEP! Cars shoot past on either side. Dick ducks out of the
way as one passes him with only an inch to spare. Arthur
cowers beside him.
The cars are modern. Dick grabs Arthur’s shoulder and pulls
him to the right, between passing cars and they topple onto
the sidewalk.
A nearby building has a screen with words scrolling along it:
Kardasians getting Boob Jobs...Again! And then the date:
August 3rd, 2016. Everyone on the busy street corner is
staring at Arthur. Dick searches for somewhere to go. He
spots the scrolling banner.
DICK (V.O.)
Those fucking aliens.
Rolling his eyes, Dick bends to talk to Arthur. He whispers:
DICK
You’re a kid in a costume. Act like
it.
ARTHUR
I am over twelve thousand of your
Earth years old.
DICK
Not quite through puberty then.
Dance like we’re begging for cash.
Dick rises and addresses the crowd of tourists, homeless
stoners, casual stoners who have a home, and people who live
here who are just trying to get by and away from people
taking pictures of the stars on the ground.
19.

21. DICK (CONT’D)
Ladies and gentlemen. Lend me your
ears. You have here among us an
Extraterrestrial from the planet...
He bends to Arthur.
DICK (CONT’D)
What planet you from again?
ARTHUR
Xenderphluxcapacator, in the Galaxy
Septicomberbatch.
Dick returns to the crowd.
DICK
An Extraterrestrial from the planet
Mars, folks. He has kidnapped me
from my home in the late ‘50’s and
returned to Earth now.
A few people from the crowd seem interested. Mostly stoners.
HOMELESS STONER #1
I can see my reflection in his
eyes.
HOMELESS STONER #1 has long dreadlocks and a backpack
overflowing with beef jerky and Funyuns. He bends to look at
Arthur and pokes his large eye with his finger. Arthur blinks
and steps away annoyed.
ARTHUR
Don’t do that.
A harassed MOTHER and her FIVE CHILDREN stop to watch.
CHILD #1
The eye blinked.
CHILD #2
I want one. Can we get one?
CHILD #3
You won’t feed it.
MOTHER
It’s just a costume kids. We’ll get
you one for Halloween.
She’s exhausted and shepherds them away.
20.

22. CHILD #1
But the eye blinked. How did it do
that?
Dick turns to Arthur.
DICK
Time to go.
He grabs Arthur and tugs him away.
EXT. THE CHINESE THEATER - NIGHT
A large group of DANCERS enthrall the crowd. Dick and Arthur
approach the entrance to the subway.
DICK
Looks like they built an
underground monorail. Give me a
second.
People in the crowd throw money into a hat on the sidewalk
for the performers. Dick ducks in, pretends to watch the
show, bends as though throwing money in, and scoops out a
large handful of change.
On his way back, he runs into the large box holding a wax
sculpture of Marilyn Monroe. He stares down her shirt, then
returns to Arthur and points them down the escalator.
DICK (V.O.)
Moving stairs. How crazy is that?
ARTHUR
Where are we going?
DICK
We’re going to check on a friend.
EXT. MANSION - NIGHT
Remember how the mansion looked like the Haunted Mansion
before it was haunted. Well, guess what...
Dead vines crisscross the building, stabbing into the mortar.
The paint is peeling off the doors. Boards are falling off.
The lawn and garden so beautiful before is overgrown and what
looks like a PANTHER wanders through it. Dick surveys the
Panther from the fence.
21.

23. DICK (V.O.)
It looked like the decaying ruin of
Ms. Havisham’s house, or Norma
Desmond’s Mansion from Sunset Blvd.
I was thinking of a plan to--
ARTHUR (V.O.)
What are we going to do about the
cat?
Dick rounds on Arthur.
DICK
You interrupted my monologue.
The Panther growls still hidden in the underbrush.
ARTHUR
Sorry.
DICK
Come on.
They open the gate and enter. Across the lawn, Dick looking
out for the panther. A pair of eyes stare out of the tall
grass.
DICK (V.O.)
Didn’t even think there were
pussies this big in California.
But Dick isn’t looking at the panther. He’s look at Arthur
shaking like a leaf, hiding behind his leg. The Panther
pounces at them.
END OF ACT TWO
22.

24. ACT THREE
EXT. MANSION - NIGHT
The Panther is pouncing at Dick and Arthur. Dick pulls out
the ray gun and the Panther explodes into a ball of bloody
gore. It splatters over Arthur. Dick walks away. Arther looks
at the blood and gore and waddles after Dick.
INT. MANSION - CONTINUOUS
Dick and Arthur cross the threshold and slam the door shut.
Arthur collapses into a puddle on the floor. Dick slides his
gun back into his pants and walks away.
ARTHUR
Don’t leave me.
He pulls himself together and jumps off the floor, scampering
after Dick. Dick stops to listen.
DICK
Hear that?
ARTHUR
Yes.
Faint music from above.
INT. STAIRCASE - NIGHT
Dick leads the way upstairs, gun drawn. Arthur follows, a
frightened puppy. A Flash with a bullet hole in it is framed
on the wall as they pass. They reach the upstairs landing,
and continue along...
INT. HALLWAY - NIGHT - CONTINUOUS
Cobwebs span from gaslight to gaslight. The floorboards creak
underfoot. A faint light in the darkness, from under one of
the rooms down the hall, far left.
Dick and Arthur approach. Dick turns back and makes a “shush”
sign with his finger and nose. Arthur seems confused. Dick
makes a “zip your lips,” gesture. Arthur again seems
confused.
23.

25. DICK
(whispered)
Keep your trap shut.
ARTHUR
It’s not a trap.
His voice is loud and carrying. Footsteps inside the room.
The music stops. Toward the door. Dick jumps to hide by the
door frame. Arthur stands in plain sight. The door opens.
SANDRA
What are you?
ARTHUR
An Extraterrestrial of the planet
Xeno--
Dick practically throws him out of the way. He stares into
the room transfixed. Sandra stands there, now in her 90’s,
dressed in a rotting wedding dress.
DICK
You’re alive.
SANDRA
You’re the one who got kidnapped by
aliens on my front lawn, right.
She pokes her head out into the hallway to look at Arthur.
SANDRA (CONT’D)
Is he your captor?
DICK
Sort of.
SANDRA
Not very intimidating, is he?
DICK
You’re alive.
SANDRA
Obviously.
DICK
Last time I saw you you’d been
shot.
SANDRA
Bullet hit my flask.
24.

26. DICK
What happened to the house?
SANDRA
A film crew is using it as a
location for a Great Expectations
adaptation. I’m Ms. Havisham.
DICK
Oh, so you weren’t wearing this
hoping I’d come back or anything.
SANDRA
We knew each other a day and a
half, you were taken to space and
haven’t been back in fifty six
years, why would I be waiting for
you?
DICK
Maybe I was the best lay you ever
had.
SANDRA
You flirt.
She drags him across the threshold into the ballroom and
slams the door. Arthur stands there not sure what to do.
INT. BALLROOM - NIGHT
Sandra pulls Dick onto one of the antique sofas. She kisses
Dick deeply. For his part, Dick is looking for a way out. She
is 90 after all.
He looks to the floor beside the sofa. Beside the sofa sits
a mountain of jewels. Rubies, diamonds, emeralds, sapphires,
all perfect, cut and shining. We flashback to...
EXT. MANSION - 1959 - NIGHT - FLASHBACK
The bullet hits Sandra and she goes down. She feels in her
pocket for the flask and sees the bullet has hit it. She
looks to the side. Dick is being abducted. He floats into the
sky. All of the mobsters stare at the beam and the space ship
in wonder.
Sandra stands, picks up her shotgun and shoots the nearest
gangster. Again, again. The mobsters fall dead, one by one,
distracted by the ship.
25.

27. SANDRA
Die, bastards!
Ralph’s personal body guard jumps out of the car and rushes
at her. She fires and takes him in the head. It explodes and
he collapses dead. She approaches Ralph, dropping the shotgun
and taking a large handgun from one of the dead. He’s still
fussing over the bullet wound. She takes his gun away.
RALPH
Why’d you have the idiot steal my
family jewels?
SANDRA
It was easier than doing it myself.
RALPH
You bitch. You stole my jewels.
SANDRA
I haven’t taken your jewels. Not
yet.
She grins, aims the gun at his lap and fires. Ralph screams
in pain and clutches his crotch.
RALPH
BITCH!
SANDRA
Bye, Ralph.
Aiming the barrel at his face, she squeezes the trigger.
Bang! We return to...
INT. BALLROOM - NIGHT
Dick pushes Sandra up and aims his ray gun at her.
DICK
You had me steal those jewels from
Ralph. And then you killed them
all.
SANDRA
Yeah.
Sanra fingers a small single shot revolver in her ankle
holster.
DICK
Finally a player worthy of the
game.
26.

28. Dick drops the ray gun and starts making out with her again,
only this time he’s into it.
Sandra releases her hold on her ankle gun and starts
stripping off his clothes.
We pan down over the clothes, and...
FADE TO BLACK.
END OF EPISODE
27.