What can I saw with all that is going on with the global markets, a little humor may help. Original author unknown, edited by auntce. This is funny.

1. The results are as follows. . . TODAY'S STOCK MARKET RESULTS ARE IN !

2. TODAY'S STOCK MARKET RESULTS ARE IN ! Helium was up, feathers were down.

3. Paper was stationery. Knives were up sharply. TODAY'S STOCK MARKET RESULTS ARE IN !

4. Cows steered into a bull market. Pencils lost a few points. TODAY'S STOCK MARKET RESULTS ARE IN !

5. Elevators rose, while escalators continued their slow decline. TODAY'S STOCK MARKET RESULTS ARE IN !

6. Weights were up in heavy trading. Light switches were off. TODAY'S STOCK MARKET RESULTS ARE IN !

7. Mining equipment hit rock bottom. Diapers remain unchanged. TODAY'S STOCK MARKET RESULTS ARE IN !

8. The market for raisins dried up. Caterpillar stock inched up a bit. TODAY'S STOCK MARKET RESULTS ARE IN !

9. Sun peaked at midday. Balloon prices were inflated. TODAY'S STOCK MARKET RESULTS ARE IN !

10. Hiking equipment was trailing. Fluorescent tubing was dimmed in light trading. TODAY'S STOCK MARKET RESULTS ARE IN ! Stock Market Results might change tomorrow.

11. Thanks For Watching Auntce Original author unknown Edited by; Auntce