Hannah and Eli run into each other late at night after a party. They walk together until reaching Hannah's house, where she invites Eli inside. Eli panics and lies that he has a girlfriend before leaving abruptly. Realizing his mistake, Eli rushes back to Hannah's house on his mother's pink scooter to apologize. Hannah accepts his apology and invites him inside again to see her collection of boxes.
This is the first draft that I made of my script different. I highlited all the Exterior Parts in Yellow and the Interior parts in Light blue also colouring the characters names.
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2. EXT.WALKING DOWN THE ROAD. 3AM
We see Eli Jones wearing a shirt to show that they were at
an occasion and Hannah Carter with a party hat on her head
walking down the middle of the road, there are no cars or
people around as it is so late. You can tell that they are
tipsy because there is a lot of touchy feely flirting and
slight stumbling and giggling from Hannah’s side. They are
clearly chatting, however we can’t quite make out what they
are saying. They get to a fork in the road. Hannah lives on
the road to the right and Eli to the left. There is the
awkward lul in conversation whilst they both wait for the
other to say something.
HANNAH
Soooooo....this is me
giggles childishly
ELI
ahh yeah, I guess it is
They both continue to stand there, still waiting
BEAT
They both start to talk at the same time
HANNAH
do you...
ELI
shall i...
They both stop and motion for the other to continue
HANNAH
oh you go
ELI
sorry ahah
they both wait for the other to start again, eventually
after a second too long
HANNAH
(nervously giggling)
I was gunna ask if you wanted to
walk me home
3. 2.
ELI
I probably should, shouldn’t
I...yeah i’ll walk you home...i
mean its what a man is meant to
do...shit sorry, was that sexist?
i’m sure your capable of walking
alone, I’m sure you can defend
yourself...shit its not like
anything is going to happen. its
not like your going to get
murdered...or raped...
HANNAH
what...
ELI
ill walk you home I mean
EXT.STREET CORNER
Eli is evidently embarrassed. They both don’t move, and
continue to stand there looking at each other, then down the
road.
ELI
shall we...
HANNAH
yeah
BEAT
They start walking down the road. Not really talking now.
There is definitely a change in atmosphere. Eli knows he
isn’t making the best impression, and he is trying to make
loads of conversation, he keeps starting but can’t get the
words out, so as they are walking down the road he tries to
lighten the mood by cracking a joke
ELI
it’s been really nice seeing you
again
HANNAH
yeah its been quite a while
ELI
do you still have that box?
HANNAH
*blushes* yeah (laughs)
yeah it’s under my bed
4. 3.
Looks at him out the corner of her eyes, trying to be quite
suggestive and sexy.
EXT. OUTSIDE HER HOUSE
they arrive at her door, the lights are off, it is evident
there no one home.
HANNAH
I don’t know if your interested,
but you can come in and see if you
want.
Eli panics, he’s lost for words. His inner head starts
discussion the pros and cons of going in
SILENCE for way too long
ELI
urrr............sorry I’ve got a
girlfriend
HANNAH
really?
ELI
yeah
HANNAH
oh right okay, thanks for walking
me home then I guess
they both stand there staring at each other, Hannah looks
very confused and Eli is slightly sweating
HANNAH
bye then
she lets herself in and closes the door, as the door closes
Eli realises he has made a mistake
ELI
FUCK!
Eli starts cursing himself, and getting pissed off he walks
round the corner and pulls out his phone to try and call her
and explain what an idiot he was. As he gets to her number
his phone dies.
ELI
FUCK!
5. 4.
Eli looks around and breaks into a sprint, he runs home. As
he is running down the road, he gets a stitch but continues
going.
INT. HIS KITCHEN
and runs to find the charger. The phone takes a painful
amount of time to charge, we see him pacing. tapping.
fiddling. Eventually his phone turns back on, he tries to
call her and it goes to answer phone.
ELI
FUCK!
He sits down next to his phone, head in his hands. Realising
he has well and truly fucked it. Then suddenly, we hear his
phone start to ring.
ELI
Hi! I’m really sorry, I don’t have
a girlfriend, I just panicked I
don’t know what happened. Then I
tried to call and my phone ran out
so I had to run home then it
wouldn’t charge and yeah and I was
just wondering if I could come
back....
theres another awkward silence
HANNAH
yeah
ELI
oh great, really?
HANNAH
yeah, of course. Be quick though!
She hangs up, and Eli has a moment of inner celebration.
Then realises he has got to hurry.
He runs back out the house and grabs the nearest thing to
him.
EXT. THE STREET
We then see Eli has taken his mothers pink flowery scooter
and is furiously scooting down the road in an urge to get
the her house.
6. 5.
EXT. OUTSIDE HER HOUSE
Hannah opens the door as Eli pulls up on the scooter. He is
standing grinning like a cheshire cat slightly sweating
holding this pink scooter.
HANNAH
So do you wanna come in and see the
box then
INT. HER HOUSE
Eli goes upstairs all the lights are off, Eli goes into her
room and turn the light on. In the room it is filled with
different boxes. Big, Small, Colourful, Cardboard. We end
with Eli Shocked
ELI
wow...I thought there was only one.
THE END