This document summarizes several eccentric summer festivals and events that take place between April and June, including: 1) The St. Stupid's Day Parade in San Francisco on April Fool's Day featuring a sock exchange and penny strewing. 2) Spamarama in Austin, Texas in April celebrating Spam with cooking contests and music about Spam. 3) The World Cow Chip Throwing Championships in Beaver, Oklahoma in April where competitors try to break the record for throwing cow chips. 4) Tours of the secret nuclear bunker under the Greenbrier Hotel in West Virginia that was built for Congress during the Cold War.

1. Those Lazy, Crazy
Festive Days of Summer
B Y S A L LY M O E
A aaaah...summer’swhole year. You
the TGIF of the
drawing nigh— mer. There’s plenty of action early on,
starting with the St. Stupid’s Day Parade,
don’t forget your socks, pennies, noise-
makers and a free-for-all attitude.
can almost smell the aroma of burgers aptly scheduled for April Fool’s Day. That irrepressible joie de vivre contin-
sizzling on the grill...hear the crisp clink- Held annually in San Francisco since ues at Spamarama every April at the
ing of ice in a dewy glass of lemon- 1979, this irreverent frolic of the absurd Waterloo Brewing Company in Austin,
ade...breathe in the delicious scent of features not just a parade, but the Pacific Texas. Celebrating all things Spam® with
fresh mown grass. It’s The Supreme Pontiff with two of Sock Exchange—a a sense of irony as firm as the potted
common knowledge that his acolytes. glorified game of pork itself, there are amateur and pro-
summer teems with clas- Dodgesock; a ritual fessional cook-offs, a Spam Toss, a Worst
sic pleasures. Not so well strewing of pennies at Dish Category and a Spam Cram eating
known is the plethora of the Bankers Heart contest. Local bands play Spam parodies
fun, funky, inane and Sculpture at California (à la Who Let the Hogs Out); there’s a
eccentric festivals and and Kearny; sermons Tug of War, in which the glistening,
attractions awaiting the galore from Bishop ever-sublime Spam jelly figures promi-
adventurous, the bored or Joey—Supreme Pon- nently; and there’s even dessert.
the merely curious. But tiff of the First Church Yes...dessert made from Spam . (I’m
there’s no need to wait for of the Last Laugh— not eating it!)
June 21 to embrace the and a free lunch. Show While we’re on the subject of what
Jim Hair
fun-loving ethos of sum- up in costume and not to eat, the town of Beaver, Okla.,
goes all out every April with their World
Cow Chip Throwing Championships.
AAA Exclusive! On April 20, competitors will have
their work cut out for them as they try to
beat the record of 182 feet, 3 inches, set
by the golden arm of Leland Searcy in
1979, and there’s plenty of entertainment
to be had in watching them try. But if
throwing poo doesn’t do it for you, have a
go at the stock car races, chili cook-offs,
and arts and crafts show.
If that’s a tad too lowbrow, dig into
your wallet. For $25, starting the first
Wednesday of April, Cold War buffs and
“Atomic Tourists” can reserve a spot for
the 90-minute tour of the once-top-
secret Project Greek Island Complex, 700
feet below the five-diamond Greenbrier
Book now and receive these exclusive “Sand Dollar Savings”: Hotel in White Sulphur Springs, W.Va.
Guaranteed upgrade* or $100 resort/activity credit* Planned and built in maximum secrecy
by the Eisenhower administration, the
Ask about AAA’s exclusive Please visit or call AAA Travel: 112,000 sq. ft. complex was up and run-
$30 per-person Member Benefit 2840 Eastern Blvd. in York ning by the time of the Cuban Missile
1-800-222-1469 Crisis in 1962. Its sole intended occupants
were always the Congress of the United
States and their aides—that meant no
R E S O R T S
women, no children. Throughout the
H A W A I I ®
*Offer is specific to hotel selection and valid only at participating hotels. Offer valid for new bookings made 3/1-4/30/03 for www.aaasp.com
Cold War, the bunker’s interior—includ-
travel through 12/15/03. Five-night minimum stay per hotel required. Must be booked through a AAA Travel Agency.
ing nameplates on bunk beds and the
34

2. Drive to the Port
edly unorthodox transportation. Consid-
er that the idea was born with a bet over www.aaasp.com
who could build the best—or weirdest— Carnival has made cruising more
human-powered sculpture. Add to that convenient than ever!
the crowning of the Rutabaga Queen, the
Kinetic Awards Banquet, and the lavish Sail from New York to
Victorian charm of Ferndale (where New England & Canada
Matt Filar
One of the “vehicles” you might encounter at
the Kinetic Sculpture Race in Arcata, Calif. The Majestic was filmed) and you have a September 13-20, 2003
From $679
photo op of near biblical proportions.
selection of magazines—was scrupulously If your IQ is still registering firmly in Sail from Baltimore to Bermuda
October 28-November 3, 2003
kept up-to-date. Today, the complex the black, blow a few points on a visit to
From $859
remains almost exactly as it did back in the annual Summer Redneck Games in
the day, complete with a hospital, cafete- East Dublin, Ga. (between Macon and
Call 1-800-222-1469 for
ria, dormitories, decontamination showers Savannah). First conceived as a spoof of information or reservations.
and an isolation chamber. Don’t miss the the 1996 Atlanta Olympics, and greeted
communications systems, with a fully at the time with a comparatively cool
equipped TV studio, complete with a reception, the festival has grown in favor Prices are per person, based on double occupancy.
Some restrictions may apply. All prices are subject to
D.C. backdrop. to the point where it attracts upwards of change without notice due to fuel charges and other
vendor charges.
Now that your IQ has returned back some 10,000 visitors a year. Starting the
to comfortable levels, drop by for some first Saturday in July, enticements include
wacky fun at Mike the Headless Chicken pro wrestling, the Hubcap Hurl, the
Days, in the farming town of Fruita in crowd-pleasing Mud Pit Belly Flop, Bob-
western Colorado. bing for Pigs’ Feet (the challenge: they
Named for Mike—a 5-and-a-half don’t float), a Dumpster Dive, a raft race
month old Wyandotte famous in the ’40s and the Armpit Serenade—an event
for surviving a beheading and living often aced by the young-uns.
another 18 months in profitable notori- Oopsy...looks like it’s time to ratchet
ety—the festival celebrates his indefati- up the intellecto-meter again. Twin Peaks Our Their
gable spirit with a 5k run (like a headless
chicken, naturally), a costumed pet
aficionados and lovers of all things droll
need look no further than the annual
*A=H *A=H
parade, polka dance, pancake breakfast, Twin Peaks Festival, in North Bend, Wash. The Cruise West Difference
microbrewery beers and various chicken-y Starting Aug. 15, this weekend celebra- Our style of up-close, casual, small-ship cruising
miscellanea. tion of David Lynch’s groundbreaking means that whatever the destination, you’re
capturing the travel experience as no other means
Fruita (northwest of Grand Junction) ode to surreal plotting and excellent bone can provide. Gain insight from local guides, expert
is also home to Colorado National Mon- structure has attracted attendees from guest speakers, and our on-board Exploration
ument and its 32 square miles of memo- the mainland as well as Europe and the Leaders. Get up-close to whales and wildlife,
navigate narrow waterways totally inaccessible to
rably scenic canyonlands. So between Far East. Enjoy a trivia contest, celebrity
larger ships, and visit even the tiniest ports along
headless chickens, costumed pets and appearances, filming-site bus tours, and the way. You’re capturing the travel experience
stunning red-rock monoliths...you won’t an unmatched sense of camaraderie—all in the most rewarding way possible.
want to be without a camera. accompanied, of course, by fresh-baked
$249 airfare from
And spanning the three days of cherry pie and steaming cups of joe. A Baltimore to ALASKA*
Memorial Day weekend, a surefire spec- caveat: only 200 tickets are sold for the Receive up to $200 off per person with
tacle awaits in the form of the Kinetic event, so act quickly if you’d like to join your exclusive AAA Member Benefit.
Sculpture Race, which starts in Arcata, in the fun.
Calif. Would-be inventors and certified And fun is the whole point, isn’t
funkmeisters hustle for first place in an it? So get out there and get yours—but *Rate valid for select dates only. Subject to change without notice.
improbable race over sand, road and be mindful to spend those IQ points Ships’ Registry: United States and Bahamas.
1-800-222-1469 • www.aaasp.com
water to nearby Ferndale, via some decid- wisely.... s
35