Tom locks his vampire parents Count Christian and Kimmy out of the family home in retaliation for his uncle Terry's murder. He intends to subject them to the same fate - burning in sunlight. They argue about who is to blame for their current situation until Count Christian embraces Kimmy, overriding her protests, as they burn together in the sunlight. Meanwhile, Tom feels conflicted about enjoying their demise but lets the music distract him from his conscience.

2. And another one’s gone,

3. Another one bites the dust…Death By Mzyra

4. Burnt muffins: what children eat when their grandparents go to bed way too early, their mothers are in bed increasingly pregnant and their fathers are out at work most of the time. Also when they have dubious cooking skills. Luckily Calvin was too good natured to throw tantrums about the quality of food he received, though he could have just woken up the celebrity chef of the family…

5. But given Birch’s increased tendency to break things – such as the trash compactor – maybe it was better for everyone that Calvin didn’t. Of course Birch meant well, but Carla found it frustrating and often wound up lecturing him on it.

6. Birch found it much easier to appreciate time with his wife when she was asleep. Though they rarely did very much with their time these days, he knew they were both under increased pressure and stress with their age – it couldn’t be long before one of them would be leaving the other, even for a short time. Birch just hoped that he might go first and could then welcome Carla into whatever afterlife there would be.

7. And, after returning from work that night, he got his wish, hula girls and all.

8. The grim reaper even gave him a cheese-flavoured drink for his journey – perfection.

9. It was true that he never managed to eat 200 grilled cheese sandwiches, but with still more than 100, 5 children and 10 grandkids he was plenty happy enough to get a platinum gravestone (engraved with his lifestyle of choice) and leave plenty of money to his remaining friends and descendants.

10. Of course, even knowing how happy Birch had been, it was a very sad day for everyone, even Mia who didn’t fully understand what had happened, but knew that granddad was now a big stone thing in the garden and didn’t like that so much. Nicola tried her best not to get depressed in case it would somehow impact on the baby she was carrying, but couldn’t help but break down sometimes. Calvin missed his eccentric grandpa Birch, while Carla was understandably devastated and impatiently passed the slow hours wondering if she would follow him soon.

11. She even wound up locking herself away in their bedroom, where their portraits still hung waiting for both to be ready for presentation with both urns when they came. And the bed seemed so big and empty without Birch there to hold Carla as he used to…

12. But life went on and Calvin still had to go to school. And bring home overly happy downtownie children. “Finally! I’m free from the orphanage! And this family has an actual house! When can I marry in?!” Overly optimistic children, too…

13. D-T: “So… you’re like… pregnant? There’s a baby in there?” N: “Yup, due very soon in fact.” D-T: “Wow. There are loads of kids at the orphanage, but we never get to see where kids actually come from…” C: “You’re better off not knowing how it comes out, child, wait until they tell you in school, it’s not a good experience…” Alvin just read in the background, deaf to any discussions. He was so close to that final promotion…

14. “… Nery… You do think this is just some leftover Christmas prop, don’t you?” “Um… I don’t think a picture of warm grilled cheese is particularly Christmassy, ‘Rina…” “… Daddy? Well… at least it’s… appropriate, right?” Marina and Nery randomly stopped by that afternoon. Whether Marina had women’s intuition about her father, or if they came on a whim, but they happened to be there for at least one important event…

15. Labour. M: “Squee, babies!” C: “Oh if only your father were here he’d be able to help…!” M: “… How did Dad ever help with labour, Mum? He was no more helpful than we’re being now.” C: “Well- Um, he… provided moral support. Very helpful moral support.” M: “Mmkay. Keep pushing, Nicky!” N: “I’m trying – you’re not especially helping!”

16. And soon Nicola was holding a little baby boy in her arms, who seemed to be a cross between his elder brother and sister – brown hair again, light blue eyes like Calvin and Alvin and skin tone 2 like Mia and Carla. And thus Rick Ryman was born. It was felt to be a bit of a shame that he hadn’t shown any resemblance to Birch after his death, but some hoped that maybe his facial features might when he grew up a bit.

17. Alvin was away at work for the labour, as he frequently was, but as soon as he arrived back, Calvin ran straight into his dad’s arms for a hug, appreciating what little time he could get, accentuated by seeing Birch’s gravestone once again. Random downtownie kid: “Ah man, I wish I had a dad in the military… Or a dad at all…”

18. And that night it was Mia’s birthday, with the usual family members gathered around to watch. Nicola hoped that she might have another daughter whose hair she could braid as a toddler, it was never so good with boy toddlers.

19. Of course, the family was never very good with its timing as people were so distracted as to not realise what was happening across the room…

20. Carla, like Birch, went quite happily. She had achieved her lifetime want back when they had thrown a golden wedding anniversary party – it seemed so long ago, back when Nicola and Terry were still teenagers; now one of Nicola’s own children was not very far from being a teenager himself. It was a shame that she wouldn’t get to see her grandkids get married and have children of their own, but at least she’d get to be back with her beloved Birch once more…

21. Meanwhile Mia tried not to let anything ruin her happiness on her birthday, even if she would miss her grandma.

22. And a few moments later Nicola had helped her fix her hair into a pretty new style that matched her outfit. Nicola and Alvin couldn’t help but be concerned about what would happen after Mia had her next birthday, she was clearly very pretty and so shy and nice that she might be easily led... Hopefully her older brother would keep an eye out for her at school, though.

23. And now with both members of the couple gone, a suitable memorial could be organised in the garden, even with blue flowers to match their favourite colour. Happily together once again…

24. But with a newborn and birthdays in the household there was less time for sitting around mourning this time. Especially with fewer people to look after the children. Nicola loved the baby stage and was determined to get every moment of it that she could reasonably manage, regardless of gender or appearance of the child involved.

25. Her descendents may not have been sitting around mourning her, but Carla’s ghost was quick to emerge and mourn the loss of her physical life, though did not seem in the mood to scare any members of the family that night.

26. Nicola was having a hard enough time keeping her mood up in any case and had taken to meditating in the middle of the lounge instead.

27. But at least Calvin wasn’t so lonely any more; Mia was a lot like him in personality and in general, other than being a girl, so they could spend plenty of time playing and talking together, especially about science. It was an unusual topic for children their age, but they knew their dad was a scientist and anything to get to spend time or bond with their father automatically became somehow very interesting, just so long as he had the time to realise this.

28. As for Nicola, the reason for her frequent hunger and other irritations was becoming increasingly clear as she was sick three times continuously. She was either pregnant or about to die. Another baby was entirely welcome, but the pregnancy was becoming more and more of a drag with age…

29. But she wasn’t to the point of having to lie in bed all day just yet, so she helped Mia to do her homework as their father was still out at work. M: “Mum? Since you never got a job, do you wish you’d not done any homework and just had fun instead?” N: “… No, because… well, for one thing, if children don’t do their homework they can get bad grades and be taken away by the social worker! And homework is good for you. Helps you to learn. And isn’t it fun?” C: “Did you find it fun when you were a kid?” N: “… Yes… Of course I did. It was great. There was nothing more fun to do with my time. Honest.”

30. Meanwhile, Alvin arrived home with the last promotion he needed, becoming a mad scientist! Perhaps now he’d have more time for his children, especially since Nicola would struggle to look after 4 kids on her own without her parents around to help.

31. But in the meantime it was Rick’s birthday and a full family gathering was thrown as per usual.

32. And it could have been fully believed that Rick was a clone of one of his elder siblings, had his colouring been slightly different. Apparently Alvin’s facial features were as dominant as Birch’s had been for the previous generation.

33. Calvin took the chance to bond with his new younger sibling and possibly warn him of the potential dangers of their house nowadays. “And I swear I saw Grandma floating around, though Cindy reckons none of that supernatural stuff really exists, but I’ll show her one day! I haven’t seen Granddad’s ghost around yet, but if Grandma gets one, he probably will too. You won’t remember Granddad, Rick, but he was really nice and you have to think of him whenever you eat grilled cheese sandwiches-”

34. Calvin continued to talk incessantly at his little brother, while Rick wondered why their Mummy had become much bigger and rounder all of a sudden. *Sigh* “Here comes another one. Just hope we’re ready for it…”

35. Elsewhere in the family there were teenagers and where teenagers could be found, so could blossoming romance* as Sara found with Zack Landry- she had no intention of marrying him, of course, since if she were going to get married and become mayor she’d have to have someone much easier on the eye, but she didn’t want to go to college without some experience… *[And jaundice…?!]

36. And the first member of generation 3 did go to college soon after, soon to be followed by the rest of them once they came of the right age. Sara spent a good amount of time there on the phone, though she never received a call from her parents or any of her siblings – instead, despite only having met once, Calvin called her everyday twice a day. She soon found herself considering him a good friend, even though she hadn’t planned to ever make friends with children.* *[Yes, Calvin appears to have become this neighbourhood’s Marsha]

37. Other members of the family had become teenagers a while ago too* and could be found fairly frequently in clubs downtown, enjoying the music and parties which fitted their personalities well, while waiting to be able to join their cousin at uni and go to even better parties and clubs. *[May and Tiana are one day older than Tom and one day younger than Seth, so became teenagers in 7A]

38. Elsewhere… “I’m going to university! Bye!”

39. CC: “He can’t just leave like that…” K: “He’s going to university already?! And he didn’t tell us! Children! Knew you should have tried more discipline. Maybe when he comes back for holidays-” CC: “If he comes back for holidays-” T: “Oh, don’t say that! How could I possibly leave you?”

40. The vampires swivelled around at the sound of their son behind them and, now, behind a locked gate. T: “How could I leave you here?” K: “I told you so.” T: “How could I leave you here, knowing what you’re capable of? Knowing how you destroyed Terry’s life and then him himself? Knowing that you’d probably do the exact same thing to anybody I would ever love? Knowing that you’d never let me go? Until you or I died, that is…” CC: “Let us back in, Tom.”

41. T: “I’ll let you back in when you let Terry back in- Oh wait, no, too late for that, isn’t it, mother? But then you didn’t kill him, father. I could almost consider letting you back in, though mother would have to stay out there. Out of interest, what would you say to that?”

42. CC: “I’m not going anywhere without your mother-” Tom smirked. “That’s what I thought you’d say, but I’d bet good money she’d come in without you.” CC: “Stop these stupid games, child, we are your parents and that is our house and you will let us back in right this second!” T: “Hmmm… No, I won’t. I know I shouldn’t be massively enjoying this, but I really am. I guess I get that from you, ‘mum’.” CC: “So what do you expect to happen here then, son?”

43. “Oh, I am so glad you asked me that in particular. Would you like to postulate as to what you believe that I want and expect as well?” CC: “Well apparently you’re upset about what happened to your uncle, so what, do you expect an apology?” K: “I’m not apologising, he deserved it!” T: “No he didn’t. He deserved so much better than he got.” K: “Yeah righ-! Wait. What time is it?”

44. T: “Nicely deduced, mother, and about damn time! Finally figured out why this seems vaguely familiar to you? I don’t expect apologies, I expect vengeance. Mother killed Terry, so now she will die- and in much the same way. As I alluded before, father, you didn’t actually kill anyone and so I could possibly make do with you suffering in the way you made him suffer while still living on, but I know that for some strange reason you won’t abandon her, so same fate, I’m afraid.” CC: “So you lost somebody you loved and you expect to make things better by removing the only other possible sources of love or caring in your life?” T: “Yup. I’d rather not be loved at all than be loved by either of you. Not that you know what love is; mother’s self-obsessed and father’s just plain obsessed. I’d tell you to go see a therapist about that, but it’s too late for that now.”

45. T: “Right, final words to you… Before you die I just want you to know that I don’t love, never have and never will; in fact I hate you both and wish you all the pain and misery in the world.” K: “Yeah, well I regret nothing!” T: “And neither will I. Say hi to the grim reaper for me.” Tom turned to walk back into the house. “Oh damn it, I forgot to use the Bond line… Well it’s the though that counts, right?” CC: “What did we do to make that happen?”

46. K: “What did we do?! It’s your stupid fault! I never wanted a kid in the first place, or to get married, but NO, you had to go and get me pregnant!” CC: “You murdered his uncle in front of him…” K: “I didn’t know he was there! And you told me that children automatically love their parents, but it doesn’t look like it, does it?!”

47. Tom retreated to his bedroom and played an ironic sad song over the sound of his parents shouting at each other outside. He was fighting inside, trying to shut up the conscience and morals that Terry had implanted into him, but also trying to stop him enjoying it all too much – it would all be pointless if he became like his mother. He just let himself drift into the music and blank his mind…

48. CC: “It’s just teenagers, they have always wanted to rebel against their parents and their rules, all through the centuries-” K: “Oh whatever. I thought you were different – not some stupid guy or some shallow girl, something different, a vampire, intelligent, but you’re just as stupid as everybody else is!” CC: “Yes, well you must be too if you ever believed something that is apparently false!” K: “Well now we’re going to freaking die! I hope you’re happy!”

49. Kimmy made to keep arguing even as the sunlight broke over the landscape, but Count Christian grabbed her, forcing her arms behind her back, and kissed her, stopping any argument she could have given.

50. And he kept her that way, in his passionate embrace, right until the very end, even as their flesh burned away to ashes. There have been worse ways to die.

51. “You mean you give a scholarship worth $1500 for orphans? Fantastic! … Oh yes, I’m very sad and deeply damaged by the loss of my wonderful parents, but, seriously, scholarship money, thanks.” ~~~ End of Chapter 7 ~~~