The document contains a collection of humorous quotes and sayings found in various locations across the United States. Many of them poke fun at relationships, politics, and gender stereotypes. The quotes range from one-liners written on bathroom walls and mirrors to longer sayings posted in stores and restaurants.

1. Beauty is only a light switch
away.
Perkins Library, Duke University , Durham , NC
�
�
If life is a waste of time,
And time is a waste of life,
Then let's all get wasted
together
And have the time of our lives.
Armand's Pizza, Washington , DC
�
Fighting for peace is like
Screwing for virginity.
The Bayou, Baton Rouge , LO
�

2. No matter how good she
looks,
Some other guy is sick and
tired
Of putting up with her shit.
Men's Room
Linda's Bar and Grill, Chapel Hill , NC
At the feast of ego
Everyone leaves hungry.
Bentley's House of Coffee and Tea, Tucson , AZ
�
=0 A
It's hard to make a comeback
When you haven't been
anywhere.
Written in the dust on the back of a bus,
Wickenburg , AZ
�

3. Make love, not war.
Hell, do both
GET MARRIED!
Women's restroom
The Filling Station, Bozeman , MT
�
If voting could really change
things,
It would be illegal.
Revolution Books
New York , New York .
�
If pro is opposite of con, then
what is the opposite of
progress?
Congress!
�
Men's restroom House of Representatives,

4. Washington , DC
�
Express Lane:
Five beers or less
Sign over one of the urinals
Ed Debevic's, Phoenix , AZ
�
You're too good for him..
Sign over mirror in Women's restroom
Ed Debevic's, Beverly Hill s ,CA
�
No wonder you
always go home
alone.
Sign over mirror in Men's restroom,
Ed Debevic's, Beverly Hill s ,CA
�
~~~ and perhaps the most realistic one ~~~

5. A Woman's Rule of Thumb:
If it has tires or testicles,
You're going to have trouble
with it
Women's restroom
Dick's Last Resort, Dallas , TX
0A�
HOW TO STOP PEOPLE FROM BUGGING
YOU ABOUT GETTING MARRIED
Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking me
in the ribs and cackling, telling me, "You're next."
They stopped after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.
SEND THIS TO A SMART SOMEONE
WHO LIKES A GOOD LAUGH!
Cry of a Sexy Nun whose urine test report got mixed wid a preg woman's.
"Oh Christ! Don't perform stupid miracles! How can the father's tongue do
that?":/ :'(