This document provides dangerous and unethical tips for killing pests, such as setting their homes on fire, drowning them in ponds, using weapons like AK-47s, and throwing acid on their faces. It recommends being uglier, smellier, and faster than pests to drive them away. The document concludes by suggesting contacting a pest control company for safe and effective pest removal.

1. Pest Control Guide For Crazy People Do not read this if you are sane. 1

2. Who Are Pests? Pest is the second name of evil, or maybe the third one, but it doesn’t really change what pests are. Pests can totally ruin your joyful and comforting life in once. Handling those SOBs is tough as they are fast, poisonous and most importantly; they have massive egos. For all these reasons different pest control contracts London are in the market. 2

3. How To Kill Those Evil Pests You must have tried various chemicals and pest traps to get rid of those intruders but didn’t get any success. Now, for the very first time in the history of pest controlling we present you such wicked and devastating ideas about which you have never heard before. Trust me, You haven't. Read ahead to learn about them. 3

4. They Can Counter Attack Always remember, they are not your kids who would take all your beating and would only cry sitting in a corner. Contrary to that, those evil pests would counter attack. Expect anything because they can have stench guns, paw grenades, poison snipers and more. So before you attack, wear a helmet and Kevlar. 4

5. Don’t Leave Them Wounded Use AK 47, M4A1, Commando Knife, hand grenade and all those weapons which can assure complete destruction of pests. However, do not let them escape wounded. If they run away alive, consider yourself dead meat because they will later come with their fellows and kick your butt real good. 5

6. Use Natural Assets Fire, Water and Air are great. Use them to kill those evil pests. Don’t know how to do so? And even don’t want to sign pest control contracts London? Then continue reading… 6

7. Use Natural Assets : Fire Find the spot where they have made their home, spray gasoline and set it on fire. The pests will either die in there, getting burned or would come out shouting “FIRE FIRE FIRE”! Throw rest of the gasoline so they can get rid of their annoying lives. 7

8. Use Natural Assets : Water Make little ponds in the corners of your rooms and then bring the pests to those ponds by tricking them. Run crazy after the pests making weird scary faces and shouting out loudly. Once the pests are near the pond; push them into it. Now hear them shouting for help. Look at them with unmerciful eyes till they are drowned to death. 8

9. Use Natural Assets : Air Locate the entrance/Exit hole of their home and insert a blower in it. Now turn the blower on and enjoy the sounds of the pests hitting inside their nest’s walls due to the heavy air pressure. You will love it! 9

10. If they are ugly, be uglier Do whatever you find best, wear a Dracula mask, put your face in flour tub or put on a skeleton costume. Just look uglier than those pests. They won’t be able to resist the competition and would walk out! 10

11. If they are stinky, be Stinkier If pests such as skunks throws bad smell at you, throw some back at ‘em. I don’t know, maybe you should fart at ‘em; that would probably do good damage. 11

12. If they are fast? be faster If they run and hide quickly, you run like a maniac. Just assume that a mad dog is chasing you and if you would stop he would snatch a piece of your ass. This way you would be able to chase those evil pests and eliminate them. 12

13. Destroy their Self confidence If you are still not satisfied, follow these additional tips to make your pests miserable: Throw acid on their faces Burn their hair Steal their food Tie them up and tickle their tummies 13

14. Ran out of ammo or health? Couldn’t handle the heat? Why not contact Empire Pest Control at empirepestcontrol.co.uk? Can’t access the internet because those evil pests are jumping on your keyboards keys like it is a piano or something? Why don’t you lock yourself up in a room that has a telephone and dial 0800-633-5220 to get the best Pest Control Contracts London! Trust me; Team Empire Pest Control knows how to send those SOBs to hell. 14

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