1. MY ACCIDENTAL SOLDIER…
A Victim of a Lifetime of Narcissism Overcomes and Thrives.
I have been the partner of a POW for 15 months. A prisoner of
war right here on Australian soil, a 35 year battle from 1978
until 2012. A secret war with an entity hell bent on sucking the
goodness and life-force out of anyone unlucky enough to be
related it or naïve enough to fall for it’s fake charm. It is a
greedy, unrelenting enemy. Narcissistic Supply is the target. The
entity thrives on a gluttonous amount of Narcissistic Supply in
the form of control, intimidation, manipulation and insatiable
attention sapping. With no conscience the entity takes all it can
for as long as it can, using mind games, distrust and public
humiliation to confuse and stun it’s prey. When needed it will
put on the charm, pretend to give a shit or be the life of the
party! If it cannot charm, pretend well enough or is shadowed by
another it will ignore the threat and ensure his current
Narcissistic Supply continues, siding with it’s unreasonable hate
for a new acquaintance.
It is desperate to fill the bottomless pit of self-adulation and godlike power and control. It is terrified of being “found out” as the
flimsy scaffold it has created may be seen through at any time.
The nature of the beast is addiction which is defined as
repeating the same behaviours and patterns, hoping for a
different outcome or result. Here in lies the insanity of this
destructive disorder and unlike other disorders, if gone
unchecked can deeply wound and even destroy the lives of the
people it sucks dry then spits out with no remorse.
This is the worst kind of Narcissist, the Pathological, and
Destructive Narcissist. An entity so rotten yet so cunning it will
force the family to up and leave town at a moments notice. It
took the form of a boy and reared it’s ugly head at around age 6
or 7 years old. With only a younger brother and an anxiety
ridden single mother for needed N. Supply, it took control by
manipulating the mother and using the younger brother as a
scape goat, a forced accomplice in crime, a lookout, a punching
bag both physically and emotionally…and much more hideous
things.

2. My Accidental Solider was at war with the entity for 35 years,
fighting a battle with no direct orders or defined boundaries. My
Solider had no platoon leader, no allies, and no mission
parameters. Rules of engagement changed at the whim of the
enemy with no governing body to police the injustices to
humanity which he incurred. Advancing blindly on enemy
territory, he had only an internal moral compass; he developed
himself and a strong sense of fair and just tactics. However
looking back he sees that at points along the way the force of
good allocated him protection, gave him courage, endowed him
with super powers such as speed to escape certain capture, the
heart of ten lions when faced with angry giants, the military
training required before the surprise hand to hand combat
phase. Acting on instinct alone my Solider escaped the clutches
of the entity with a knowing that he would be eternally fighting
for good.
Who am I to talk about Narcissism? I may not be a psychologist
or counsellor but I have seen my fair share of psychologists and
counsellors. I undertook CBT Cognitive Behavioural Therapy for
2 years in place of taking Zoloft. I have been in and escaped from
2 controlling, violent partners and I have a child who was
displaying all the signs of developing narcissism. I have also
worked for over 17 years with children 0-6 years old and have
seen disorders and delays at their infancy. As an advocate for
early intervention my son got help early and is doing well.
I am diploma trained and the last 8 years of my career as the
director of a centre for a community organisation in Fairfield, a
highly multicultural, low socio-economic suburb. I gained the
ability to see traits of undiagnosed delays, conditions, disorders
and abuses in adults, as I am an advocate for early intervention
in children. As both my solider and I came to see, my past was
the mission training I required along with his identic memory,
an ability to recall events in such detail, few could falter, we
were the perfect allies.
Before I realised my partner was an accidental solider, I noticed
some worrying behaviours. He would have bouts of frustration
which would lead to severe anxiety and loss of impartial
thinking and an idealization of suicide. These times were few
and far between and 95% of the time we were able to maintain

3. an equal, open, honest, loving relationship. The 5% however
was becoming so disturbing I was considering taking a break
from the relationship.
He knew the enemy entity well but was stuck as so many are on
the fact that we CAN feel, a range of emotions, it is extremely
difficult to believe your brother CANNOT feel, anything…also as
the old saying goes you cannot see the forest through the trees
and the entity had the forest thick with choking weeds and
dense scrub, almost impossible to escape on your own.
I was piecing the puzzle together and even in lou of the entity’s
host being present in his life the entity was running scared and
using it’s dominance in his previous life to stop transparency
and education…if we recognised it and no one would supply it…I
wonder what would happen? For my solider and I it was the
calm before the storm where my solider seemed to be giving in
to the residual Narcissistic control and was pushing me away by
verbally abusing me in bouts and them sorry for it the next
minute. Not a feature of our relationship, us both not
understanding what was happening.
I always like to know why, so I was increasingly curious. There
was something I was missing. After hearing, actively listening
and believing the horrific incidents my solider had disclosed to
me, (and having met his mother and toxic brother) I started to
formulate a diagnosis.
My solider would at times breakdown and I would see a side of
him that I knew was an effect of the oppression. His brother
seemed to be at the centre of all the dramas and crisis the family
had to endure, displaying strange, anti-social, destructive
behaviours. Eventually the word Narcissism came to mind. I
looked it up and the veil was lifted! My solider (and his mother)
had been under the supreme control of a Pathological
Destructive Narcissistic brother for many years. After
researching for hours we came to the refined diagnosis in his
brother of Pathological Destructive Narcissistic Disorder.
My innocent solider had been a victim of severe Narcissistic
control from a very early age, as far as I can tell the entity was
controlling it’s host and the family from the age of 5 or 6. This

4. coincides with my soldier’s earliest memory of his brother’s
compulsion to lie and being used by the entity as the scapegoat.
The 3-4 yrs old solider was forced to look out as Julian rifled
through their grandfather’s tool shed. The solider was not sure
what his brother was looking for, but was sure he was up to no
good, his gut feeling. It found a jar of petrol. There was a small
bon fire in the backyard and a lack of adult supervision. It threw
the petrol at the fire not realising some back splashed on it’s
legs. Suddenly the entity’s host was on fire! The next thing my
solider remembers is being inside his grandparents home, with
adult relatives and mother all around in a panic and his brother
screaming “he did it, he burned me! he poured petrol on me.” My
wrongly accused solider was yelled at and beaten for a crime he
knows he did not commit, but no adult would listen to him and
the entity got away with it… which was to become an
astonishingly regular habit that would keep it out of jail but not
out of the path of revenge of disgruntled, ripped off, burned
people who unwittingly allowed the entity into their lives. It had
no friends and normal girls would run. Only the toxic and
broken would put up with the entity as a boyfriend. A regular
pattern, it would not take long for the entity to show it’s true
colours after hooking them in by ”acting” overly charming and
interesting, people soon saw through the thin veil would run fast
and far.
This is the first in a series of “cleansing” rights that will be
posted on behalf of my soldier, he deserves rest, recognition and
relief. I feel privileged to be able to express my soldiers
oppression and painful memories and realizations as the it all
comes flooding back, linking up and syncing with the footprint
of the entity as the uncompassionate, insidious, and unrelenting
enemy he was fighting all along. I am able to be bias in my
analysis of Narcissism, as I have not directly encountered the
face of the disorder, but I have seen it’s horrific, unrelenting
effects. The good news; It is fearful me and runs. LOL. I was
brought up by a strong, successful, community orientated
mother and my confidence renders me useless for Narcissist
supply, therefore I do not exist. I saw it in my soldier’s brother
on our second meeting. He could not look me in the eye, and did
not engage in any conversation…as strong as it appears, it is
weak n the face of self esteem and self love! We need to expose it

5. and educate all, or I too can see it destroying the
world…seriously slap in the face… does anyone remember
hitler?