The document describes the narrator's experiences with and observations of his moustache over time. When curled or combed, his moustache resembles cow horns or an angel sleeping. Applying honey gives it an amber hue and attracts ants. Rubbing it on his beloved's cheek leaves red marks and tingling sensations. When untrimmed it grows wildly. Breathing or scratching it causes irritation. Swishing it with his tongue doesn't seem to bother it. Rubbing it calms his nerves in meetings. Sweat makes it look more handsome. Inadvertently shaving it off makes him look feminine, but it grows back quickly.

1. MOUSTACHE
When I curled it slightly with my fingers it resembled the angular horns of the placid
cow; standing up in alacrity,
Shimmering vibrantly in the sunshine; with unruly bristles of hair protruding out
rampantly from umpteenth quarters.
When I combed it scrupulously with a serrated brush; it settled to perfectly
commensurate proportions,
Adhering amicably to my lips; appearing as sedate as an angel having long gone off to
sleep.
When I applied exorbitant coats of sweet honey on it; it acquired profound tinges of
enchanting amber,
There wafted a heavenly aroma into my nostrils; also a scores of irksome red ants
crawled to relish the paradise.
When I rubbed it against the naked cheek of my beloved; it engendered a plethora of
scarlet blemishes,
She blushed heavily in consternation; and there were infinite tingling sensations
impregnated all over her persona.
When I refrained to trim it all along the unveiling week; it proliferated untidily in
clusters,
My face now appeared like that of a passionate buffoon; and it seemed as if I had
relinquished all interest in life.
When I breathed vigorously into it expending my lungs to full capacity; it wavered a
little; disconcertingly perturbed by the onslaught,
Retorted back in intense indignation; prompting me to scratch my skin till it virtually
bled.
When I swished at it wildly with my tongue; feverishly caressing a battalion of blades
in the process; it didn’t seem to mind the least,
Stuck diligently to my flesh in an amalgamated heap; sedately slept for a few hours
until the saliva dried.
When I rubbed it frivolously during business meetings; it seemed to have a
psychological influence in calming my frayed nerves,
Substantially eased tumultuous tension from my mind; granting me a winning edge
over my adversaries.
When I let sweat dribble profusely into it; feebly attempting to resist the flow; it
looked all the more handsome,

2. With the full light of the sun accentuating its drooping periphery; and the aftermath
made me feel like a real man.
But when I tonsured it inadvertently; completely annihilating it from my silhouette; I
appeared comically distorted; with a feminine disposition inevitably descending on
my demeanor,
Although I considered myself as extremely lucky and blessed; as my moustache once
again grew into bushy clusters rapidly a few days after shaving; and I thereby took a
solemn pledge of never plucking it again.