The document is an autobiographical account of how the author dealt with depression through developing conscious awareness. It discusses two key events: 1) In 1988, the author's son left home and her father passed away from a rare infection, causing her to shut down emotionally. 2) By 1989, she was barely functioning and sought help from a support group to work through grief and issues from a previous abusive relationship. Through conscious awareness workshops in 2004, she realized she had experienced deep depression and learned to bring joy back into her life by being present with her emotions. The author encourages developing conscious awareness to healthily process depression and grief, rather than numbing oneself.