The document discusses the issue of double standards and hypocrisy in Nigerian society. It notes that while women calling into a radio show said financial status was not important in choosing a spouse, in reality money seems to be a major factor for many. It also gives examples of people who condemn actions in others that they themselves take part in privately, such as taking drugs or prioritizing money over values like religion. The document argues that Nigerian culture encourages judging others on surface appearances of morality while indulging in private behaviors that are condemned publicly. This double standard prevents moral development and progress in the society.

1. Livinga life of double standards
Some time back,I was drivinghome withmydadaftera prettytiresome dayoutwhenI decidedto
browse throughthe radioairwaysand hearwhattheyhad to offer(Ihad had justaboutenoughof
listeningtoMax Lucado all day; mydad’sfavourite.Lovelymusicstill).He reluctantlycompromised
and we settledforCool FM.The livelyconversationsandinterestingaccents of the OAPs were a
welcome change butitwasthe topicof the nightthat reallycaughtmyattention, andispart of my
rant today.
Theirquestiontotheirlistenerswentassuch:whatare the top 5 thingsyoulookfor ina spouse?
Theygave a couple of suggestions,‘hardworking’wasthere,‘God-fearing’wasanoptiontoo,andof
course ‘money’waslisted. Asitsohappened,quiteanumberof the call-inswere fromfemalesand
quite astonishingly,moneywasn’tonmostof the lists.Traitssuchas intelligent,God-fearingand
hardworkingwere almostconstantsinall the calls.The OAPswere quite surprised, andevenafter
confirming,theywere still told“moneyisn’tthatimportant”. One callerevenwentasfaras
condemninganywhochoosesmoneyoverothermore factors.My dad kepton chucklingall the way
home.
Nowisthat reallytrue? (Because honestly,I wasbeginningtothinkwe hadtakena wrongturn and
endedupin Camerounwithall I washearing).Isfinancial statusreallythatinsignificantwhenyou
choose a life partner?Orbetteryet,isthat really the norminour society?
Crossover to reality(oreventwitter,where anonymitythrives) andit’sadifferentmatterentirely.
Matter of fact,there’sthisqueer trendI’ve noticedinoursociety.Notsoqueerreally,asit’s
basicallyhumannature butthere is a certainNaijaflavourtoour version.
Note that thisdoesn’tnecessarilyapplytoeveryone,justatrendI have noticed.Youprobablyhave
too.
Scenarioswhere some girlsstaywithrascalswhodon’tparticularlytreatthemright(exceptspend
cash on themeasily) yettheycomplainall guysare animals.Ora scenariowhere one cussesout
anotherforusinghisipad as a bible inchurchon a Sundaymorning,citingdisrespecttoGod….from
the comfortof hisbed.Or a pharmacistwholoudlycomplainsaboutthe abuse of drugsand syrups
infront of his friends/colleaguesbutsecretlydoublesthe price of these highindemandproducts
and sellsthemtohis‘trusted’customers.
You lookat these instancesandyouthinkso?Thishappenseverywhere. Everybody sinsof course,
you, me, everyone.That’snotmypointthough.
It’sthe façade that isreallyinteresting. We asa nationpride ourselvesinreligiousness.The holier-
than-thouattitude yougetshovedinyourface everyday.Iwalkeddowna longstreetentering
differentconvenience storessearchingfor aparticularbrand of cigarettes,the NOsI got were just
short of condescending.Prettysure itwasn’tcoincidence becauseIgotprettymuch the same
reactioninabout 4 stores.Theyassume yousmoke,theytagyou. I still know folkwhorefuse tobuy
condomsfromlarge convenience shopsbecause of the fearof beingjudged.Soundsfunny?It
happens,don’tworry.
It’salmostas if we are two countriesrolledupintoone andwe are all citizensof both.The firstis an
opensocial worldinwhicheveryone is overtlyjudgementalof theirfellow man,aworldwhere
everyone iswatchingeachotherandappearancesmustbe kept.Thenwhenwe are burstingatthe

2. seamswith‘evil’,we retreatintothe otherworld,the underworld,exclusive forjustourselvesand
our closestonesandprobablyindulge inthe same illswe condemnothersfor.
You sort of get the impressionwe haven’tasa people definedourmoral standing.Almostlike we
have a moral level we ferventlyaspiretobe at and sometimesplayout butwe alsohave a level we
believewe have tooperate onto survive.Atthe same time.
Andno, thisisn’texclusive tothe youth.Igboparentsconstantlyremindtheirgrownkidshow unfair
the job marketis,tellingyoutribalismiskillingthe nationthenturnaroundto frownuponthe
Yoruba girl youbringhome to them. Please don’tmisunderstandme,Idon’tmeantogeneralize but
I’ve justseenthisexactscenarioplayitselfontwodifferentoccasions.Iwon’tevenbringupthe
issue of corruption,we all knowabout protesterswhochange theirtune once theygeta piece of the
action.
We needtounderstandthistraitwill probablybe the deathof us.The lesstime we spendjudging
each other,the more time we have toactuallyimprove ourselves.
At the riskof sounding judgmental (probablytoolate forthat), I’ll endthisranthere.
Last words:live andletlive.Knowyourself,be yourself andimprove yourself.
Rant over.