5. – your mother, your eighth grade teacher, your first manager, your boyfriend…
you name it.
“She just needs to work on her confidence.”
6. – 2014 Study on Confidence as it relates to the orbitofrontal cortex.
“Scientists at Cold Spring Harbor Laboratory
(CSHL) have found that confidence is actually a
measureable quantity, and not reserved just for
humans.”
on Confidence:
http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2014/09/140918121438.htm
7. where do you lie on this continuum?
most confident
!
decision 100%
made
!
least confident
!
more
information
needed for
decision
!
8. so much motivation, so little time…there is no shortage of motivation
@missrogue
9. Daily Schedule (for a single woman):
!
5:30am - get to the gym!!!
6:30am - makeup/hair/perfect outfit
7:15am - make a good breakfast, clean up
7:30am - leave for the office, so I arrive earlier
than my male colleagues
8:30am - shoot, I’m not the first one in…boss
has already left a message
12:00pm - lunch at my desk…
8:00pm - okay, I’ll take the rest of this work home
…it’s not safe to stay later.
9:00pm - shoot, I didn’t take anything out this
morning to prepare for tonight
9:45pm - guiltily eating takeout while working,
which means I need to workout even harder tomorrow
11:45pm - read email from parents that say they are
upset that I don’t call more often. Too late now.
1:00am - tossing and turning with guilt-dreams.
10. There’s lots expected of us…
• nails perfect
• hair perfect
• makeup done - but make it
look like we aren’t wearing
any!
• well-dressed
• super smart
• stay fit
• look amazing in a bikini
• be pretty
• eat healthy
• be able to scarf down huge
burgers
• give 150% at work
• MBA or other advanced
degree
• attentive daughter
• good friend
• excellent lover
• responsible adult
• well-read
• up to date on all things in
my career field
• great mom
• clean house
• lots of interesting hobbies
• be cool!
• be confident
• be humble
• play sports
• like sports
• don’t be too into sports,
though
• be cultured
• be up on the latest trends
• keep it together
• smile and be positive!
12. And we also have a few special rules…
• don’t wear too much
makeup
• don’t walk alone at night
• don’t wear provocative
clothing
• don’t date too many
people
• don’t not date people
• don’t get emotional
• don’t be too logical
• don’t be aggressive
• don’t be passive
• don’t cuss and swear
• don’t be a prude
• don’t be too loud
• don’t be too quiet
• don’t talk back
• don’t brag
• don’t talk about your
accomplishments
• don’t take photos of
yourself in sexy
situations
• be careful online…in fact,
just take everything down
because if you are using
the web, you are just
asking for someone to
post your naked photos
online
• hell, if you put yourself
out there in any way at
all, you are pretty much
just asking for trouble
• oh…but remember, you
are still expected to run
the world and be better
than your male
counterparts.
15. “Confidence is not, as we once believed, just feeling good
about yourself…
!
“Confidence is a belief in one’s ability to succeed, a belief
that stimulates action. In turn, taking action bolsters one’s
belief in one’s ability to succeed. So confidence
accumulates—through hard work, through success, and even
through failure.”
http://www.theatlantic.com/features/archive/2014/04/the-confidence-gap/359815/
16. “Speak up!”
“Lean in!”
“Stop apologizing!”
“Don’t get emotional!”
“Keep your head down!”
“Buck up!”
“Say no!”
“Say yes!”
“You are your own worst enemy!”
17. Every single day
there are hundreds of
messages aimed at
us, telling us that we
are not trying hard
enough, not
achieving enough,
not being enough.
!
It’s so easy to lose
our focus and
certainty to self-
doubt when so many
around us - including
our own families -
question our paths.
@missrogue
18. The best thing I ever did for
my confidence was know this…
23. Riya launch:
Over 1 million photos uploaded in
under 24 hours from over 20k sign
ups. Done without advertising or
traditional marketing/PR. Before we
called it ‘social media’.
!
Riya was acquired by Google in 2009
(became product search).
@missrogue
26. Coworking Movement:
Citizen Space and our efforts created
a movement that birthed thousands
of spaces for independents to work
out of worldwide.
!
Sold Citizen Space in 2011.
Citizen Space
32. My struggle lives on the web
Buyosphere:
Raised over $500,000 from friends/
family and angels over 3 years. Built
3 iterations of a product (with one
major pivot). Pitched on the
TechCrunch Disrupt stage. Got tons
of press (including InStyle
Magazine’s clever click award).
!
Shut the site down this month.
33. Justin Trudeau LPC Leadership Campaign:
I’d never run social for a political campaign, but that didn’t stop me from
saying yes! Justin won in a landslide with 80% of the popular vote. We
attracted over 11,000 volunteers and broke fundraising records.
34. lime foundry
Lime foundry:
Started with two others on the premise that
we could create simple social content
programs for clients. Had 4 clients, but the
partnership broke down.
!
Shut down after less than a year.
39. “Onlyness is that thing that
only one individual can bring to a
situation.”
!
Nilofer Merchant
http://nilofermerchant.com/2013/01/17/onlyness-the-topic-and-the-talk-at-tedxhouston/
41. Our Onlynesses
• Experiences
• Histories
• Personalities
• Geographies
• Training
• Hobbies
• Connections
• Who we
admire
• Who has
shaped us
• Our families
• Our ethics
• Our work
• Our level of
confidence
• Our dark
sides
• Our talents
• and much
much more…
42. – Nilofer
“The thing about any of our aspirations or
dreams is that they are always—as of yet—
unproven. So of course this is impossible. To go
towards a new future, action is the thing…
!
“If you wait for someone else to first give you
permission to pursue a new direction, then you
are, in effect, seeking permission to be yourself.”
http://www.oprah.com/spirit/Nilofer-Merchant-Steps-to-Living-Your-Purpose#ixzz2TqxIj5Nv
50. 1. They have embraced who they are + found
their onlyness - their unique story.
!
3. They carved out their own definition of
success. In fact, they’ve created it.
!
5. And though every single one of them has
probably faced enormous self-doubt + push
back, they went for it anyway.
51. We don’t have time to live
by someone else’s
definition of success…
@missrogue
52. Stuff my parents think is important
(not in particular order)
1. Stability
2. Buying a house
3. Being debt free
4. Being a good Mom
5. Being happy
53. Stuff others think is important
(not in particular order)
1. The size of your bank account
2. The awards/accolades you’ve won
3. Your title + distinctions
4. How many other people think you are important
5. The power/influence you have
54. Stuff I think is important
(not in particular order)
1. Being challenged + growing constantly
2. Collecting a diversity of experiences + meeting a
diversity of new people
3. Leaving the world a better place than I found it
4. Living life to the fullest
5. Being a good person
