SlideShare a Scribd company logo
Kerfuffle amongst new
Trainees and Researchers
A never ending Soap opera!
GURGAON
Our prospective
employee pitch--
Join us & Feel
alive OR be dead
(Which you will be anyways in 6 months)
The concept of work-life
balance does not exist in
our universe, For us
Employees are resources
that need to be drained
till they becomes extinct
A petrochemical company explores but we exploit!
we don't
believe in
data
collection, we
encourage
data creation!
Forget about
the company,
Our top
management
firmly believe
they are the
rulers of this
planet
Since we believe in Homo
sapien development, we take
all this as part of the process!
75,000
NUMBER OF EMPLOYEES THAT LEFT WITH IN 3 MONTHS OF JOINING US IN
A DECADE
100%
BOTTOM 2 BOX SCORES ON
EMPLOYEE SATISFACTION
We do not believe that we are doing anything wrong; it is the inability to
adapt that leads to such scores
2200
Employees
sue us every year for tortorous interference but we feel it is a perception
issue
We lead from the front!
When COVID arrived, we fired all our field executives and
deployed chat GPT to generate data for us. Now, GPT
generates 100% data for us inhouse.
We converted a crisis into an unprecedented
opportunity of higher EBIDTA. we now operate
on 90% lesser staff and 70% more margins!
This is how business is done!
FOR US, REVENUE
IS THE LAST WORD
In Short- I may have zero people management skills but
don't question me because I am a genius!
Some of the aspiring quotes from our Chief
Client officer:-
"If you do not meet your targets, shit will hit the
fan"
"If you do not hit the targets, then you will
become a live target"
"You should work over every weekend because
what else will you do"?
Everyday is a Funday when you work with us
SENIOR MANAGEMENT
Our senior management spends more time
on LinkedIn writing useless posts about
their journey in life and the so called
personal "insights" which nobody gives a
shit about, but you can't blame them for
trying
HUMAN RESOURCES
The most amazing team who remains a
neutral party and the fact that there is
nothing human about them further adds to
the aura
INSPIRED BY BCG
We expect our employees to work 24x7 (like
management consultants) but when it
comes to pay and bonus all they get is a
BANANA!
Some fun facts
Our internal revenue run rate (RRR)
inspired filmmaker Rajamouli to
create his own RRR
We call our employees kantar family
but when time comes we make sure
to exclude them from the will
Only 1% of these birds dare to rejoin
us after leaving the nest, internally
we call them Greedy buffoons
because they can be lured by cash
and made to toil again

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Kantar Internal consumer Insights.pdf

  • 1. Kerfuffle amongst new Trainees and Researchers A never ending Soap opera! GURGAON
  • 2. Our prospective employee pitch-- Join us & Feel alive OR be dead (Which you will be anyways in 6 months)
  • 3. The concept of work-life balance does not exist in our universe, For us Employees are resources that need to be drained till they becomes extinct A petrochemical company explores but we exploit!
  • 4. we don't believe in data collection, we encourage data creation!
  • 5. Forget about the company, Our top management firmly believe they are the rulers of this planet
  • 6. Since we believe in Homo sapien development, we take all this as part of the process! 75,000 NUMBER OF EMPLOYEES THAT LEFT WITH IN 3 MONTHS OF JOINING US IN A DECADE 100% BOTTOM 2 BOX SCORES ON EMPLOYEE SATISFACTION We do not believe that we are doing anything wrong; it is the inability to adapt that leads to such scores 2200 Employees sue us every year for tortorous interference but we feel it is a perception issue
  • 7. We lead from the front! When COVID arrived, we fired all our field executives and deployed chat GPT to generate data for us. Now, GPT generates 100% data for us inhouse. We converted a crisis into an unprecedented opportunity of higher EBIDTA. we now operate on 90% lesser staff and 70% more margins! This is how business is done!
  • 8. FOR US, REVENUE IS THE LAST WORD In Short- I may have zero people management skills but don't question me because I am a genius! Some of the aspiring quotes from our Chief Client officer:- "If you do not meet your targets, shit will hit the fan" "If you do not hit the targets, then you will become a live target" "You should work over every weekend because what else will you do"?
  • 9. Everyday is a Funday when you work with us SENIOR MANAGEMENT Our senior management spends more time on LinkedIn writing useless posts about their journey in life and the so called personal "insights" which nobody gives a shit about, but you can't blame them for trying HUMAN RESOURCES The most amazing team who remains a neutral party and the fact that there is nothing human about them further adds to the aura INSPIRED BY BCG We expect our employees to work 24x7 (like management consultants) but when it comes to pay and bonus all they get is a BANANA!
  • 10. Some fun facts Our internal revenue run rate (RRR) inspired filmmaker Rajamouli to create his own RRR We call our employees kantar family but when time comes we make sure to exclude them from the will Only 1% of these birds dare to rejoin us after leaving the nest, internally we call them Greedy buffoons because they can be lured by cash and made to toil again