1. JUNE 1999 ISSUE: 11
VOL. 1

2. OUR STAFF
PUBLISHER..................................................ED BURTON
PRESIDENT..................................................ED BURTON
VICE PRESIDENT..........................................ED BURTON
PHOTOGRAPHY.............................................ED BURTON
REPORTER....................................................ED BURTON
WRITER.......................................................ED BURTON
GRAPHICS....................................................ED BURTON
SECURITY....................................................ED BURTON
ANIMAL TRAINER........................................ED BURTON
SPECIAL EFFECTS.........................................ED BURTON
PROMOTIONS...............................................ED BURTON
KING..........................................................ED BURTON
KEY GRIP....................................................ED BURTON
ASSISTANT TO MR. BURTON..........................ED BURTON
SCOUT.........................................................ED BURTON
MOST LIKELY TO GET SUED...........................ED BURTON
CAPTAIN OF THE USS
ENTERPRISE........................................JAMES T. KIRK
LEADER OF THE
AUTOBOTS..........................................OPTIMUS PRIME
THE PLACE FOR SMILES..............................EAT’n’PARK
Thanks to Aaron Steckleberg who has contributed
many graphics as well as other art over the
weeks. He now lives around the corner from
hookers in another state. Sorry this took so long
to get out. That apology goes to everyone. I've
been slackin’, I'm allowed, so fuck off.
Copyright 1999 The Door From Hell
All Rights Reserved.
Some photos have been taken from
other places, and are copyrighted by
the places they were stolen from.

3. TABLE OF
CONTENTS
1...........................................People in Charge of Something
2....................................................................Table of Contents
3....................................................................The Shaft Page
4..........................From the “Where are they Now Files?”
PART II
5...........................................................Summer Blockbusters
6.............................................................................Why 2k?
7/8.......................................................... ...............Centerfold
9.........................................................................SkyCar
10................................................Letters from those who
can read.
11................................................................White Trash
12..........................................................Film Festival
13..........................................................Capo Crunch
14.....................................................The Last Page
HEY!
From here on in, if you want to continue getting this fine publication,
you’re gonna have to send me stamps. Send as many stamps for as many
issues you want. So like, if you send 3 stamps, I’ll send you 3 issues.
Thanks. (those that have sent stamps already, I’M KEEPING TRACK!

4. THE
PAGE
Sean Michaels is the most successful such hardcore interracial on their
black man in porno history, a hard audiences. (There's supposedly a classic
working stud who has parlayed a tireless Sean/Ashlyn
production schedule into one of the Gere tryst lying on someone's editing
longest-running carnal careers of any room floor, for instance.)
African-American performer He's a Sean moved behind the camera in
well-muscled stud with a sly grin that 1993 to helm the "Sean Michaels On
lets audiences The Road" series,
know that he's and he showed a
quite aware of great eye and a
just how good knack for bringing
he's got it. Sean's the best out of his
boyish good performers. Since
looks have then, Sean's efforts
proven to be as a producer and
irresistible to director have kept
porno starlets for him at the forefront
almost a decade of black-themed
now, and there's and interracial
no reason to sexvids. His "Up
suspect that he's Your Ass" flicks
planning to slow are some of the
down anytime hottest anal-themed
soon. flicks on the
Sean was born market, while his
Andre Allen in directing in
Brooklyn, New features like "In
York. He moved Loving Color #01"
out West in 1989 and "Mac'in #01
determined to & 02" has lifted the
break into the porno racket, but little bar for black-centered productions.
did he know what an impact he'd end The star of over 700 hardcore features
up making. Sean's stellar woodsmanship and one of the most talented directors
got him noticed almost immediately, in the biz, Sean Michaels is deservedly
while his the most famous black stud to ever
above-average acting skills enabled him appear in porn. He's a member of the
to land roles that hadn't AVN Hall of Fame and a two-time
previously gone to black actors. He has winner of the Fans Of X-Rated
run into racism in the industry, though, Entertainment Male Favorite Award
with many white actresses refusing to (1996 & 1997).
work with him. Sean's also been edited
out of several vids by squeamish
directors who were afraid to unleash

5. FROMTHE “WHEREARETHEYNOW?”FILES
TIFFANY BRISSETTE (b. 1974)
Former occupation: Robot girl Vicki Lawson on terribly
weird 1985-89 sitcom, Small Wonder.
Last seen: Reader b.dunn@pop.netaddress.com reports, "
...[Today] TIFFANY BRISSETTE looks like a younger and
pretty LEAH REMINI and wears dark amber sunglasses
most of the time ... She horsebacks in the mountains and
has a nice ocean-view flat ... She's working for a teaching
license in drama and sings at congregations like ROBERT
SCHULLER's. She does voices for cartoons and coaches at
local playhouses. ... The chick's a real seafood addict and
puts away a bucket of shrimp, oysters and scallops at one
shot -- and it doesn't show one gram on her fabulous frame."
For more robot girl fun, check out Memories of TIFFANY
BRISSETTE and The Unofficial Small Wonder Home
Page.
BUTCH PATRICK (b. 1953)
Former occupations: Curling up with doll Woof Woof as pointy-eared,
pint-sized ghoul Eddie Munster on The Munsters (1964-66); starring
as Mark, the boy stranded in the land
of hats, on trippy Sid & Marty Krofft kids show, Lidsville (1971-73).
Last seen: Recording the single, "Whatever Happened to Eddie?" (1983);
living with his family in St. Petersburg, Florida; keeping The Munsters
flame alive, via his official Website.
DANNY PINTAURO (b. 1976)
Former occupation: Playing preppy kid Jonathan Bower on Who’s
the Boss?
Last seen: Pintauro, who made tabloid headlines by declaring
Ellen-style, "Yup, I'm gay," is a 1998 graduate of Stanford University,
where he directed student theater.
One production, Shakespeare's Sonnets, is available on video
through the Stanford Channel. Do a program search for 1998
Original Winter One Acts. For lots o' Danny
info, check out the DANIEL PINTAURO FAQ.
http://members.tripod.com/~former_child_star/index.html

6. SUMMERMOVIES With the summer
comes a slieu of new
blockbuster movies.
So here are just a few
of the, no doubt,
classics to be, that we
have to look forward
to in the coming
months.
Left: A scene from the new
jAdam Sandler movie, Big
Daddy, where Sandler baby
sits a bunch of rowdy kids,
who lead him on a crazy
adventure where they run
into some bad guy, and get
rescued by a big tow truck
driver named Thor.
Right: Tom Cruise, and
Nicole Kidman (shown here)
are back in the final movie
of Stan Kubrick’s career, and
life. Better crank up the AC,
because Eyes Wide Shut looks
to be one of this summer’s
HOTTEST!
Left: And we can’t forget
the love story. In this latest
“chick flick” the main
character claims he will
never get married, but
falls hopelessly in love
with an old flame. The
Ideal Husband opens in
July.

7. WHY 2K?
Suits in Dispute president of the Business
Software Alliance, recently
said he knew of only
Sen. John McCain (R-Ariz.) two. Congressional aides
estimates that from 65 to 80 claim about a third of the 80
lawsuits related to Y2K have suits filed are believed to be
been filed and fears the class actions.
nation's courts will face a
"tidal wave of litigation" Only one case has been
next year because of certified as a national class
electronic disruptions action, however. In May,
caused when many software Sage Software Inc. of
programs using two-digit California agreed to the
date fields read "00" not as certification, which covers
2000 but as 1900. purchasers of an accounting
software program sold from
McCain, joined by Sens. 1990 through February 1998.
Ron Wyden (D-Ore.) and
Christopher J. Dodd (D- Versions of the software
Conn.), is sponsoring cannot process dates after
legislation, scheduled for Dec. 31, according to the law
debate in the Senate today, firms that brought the suit.
that would limit class action Sage Software general
lawsuits and punitive counsel Matthew
damages in the event Y2K Cavanaugh said the
failures prevent companies company would not
from fulfilling their contracts comment on matters under
and providing required litigation.
services or supplies.
- The Washington Post
But there appears to be no
precise accounting of how
many class action suits have
been filed.
Robert Holleyman,

9. www.moller.com
Passengers: 4
Cruise Speed/ 350/390 Moller has developed, built, and flown a
Top Speed mph two passenger prototype model of a
volantor. This volantor is a new type of
Max Rate of 7800 aircraft that combines the performance of
climb fpm
airplane and the VTOL capability of
Max Range: 900 helicopters in a single vehicle without the
miles limitations. Here’s some stats on the 4
Payload w/ 740 passenger model.
max fuel lbs
Fuel 15 • The rotapower engine is multi-fuel
Consumption mpg capable. Engines are typically configured
Operational 30,000 to run on unleaded gasoline. We have
Ceiling ft recently demonstrated the engines ability
2400 to run on diesel to the Army and on Natural
Gross Weight Gas to another organization.
Lbs
Engine Power 960 • A computer does the flying. The pilot
(8x120hp) hp
need only move the controls in the
Dimensions direction he wants to go so that little skill
18’x9’x6’
(LxWxH) is required. Though it is easy to fly, the
Takeoff and 35 ft operator will need to have a private pilot's
landing area dia license until the ease of operation and
Noise leveel at 65 safety are thoroughly demonstrated.
500 ft dba
Vertical takeoff yes
• In limited production (500 units per
and landing year) the M400 Skycar will sell for a price
Uses comparable to that of a four passenger
yes high performance helicopter or airplane,
automotive gas
approximately $1 Million. As the volume
Emergency yes
parachutes of production increases substantially, its
price can approach that of a luxury
automobile.

10. LETTERS
FROM OUR
READERS
Dear DFH:
What can I say? Your publication makes me
laugh, makes me cry, tugs at my
heartstrings and slaps me silly.
Maybe yunz wanna southern bureau?
Dr. Serious
Savannah, GA
Good to hear from you Dr. S. keep in
touch...and sure. you’ve just been elected by
your superiors as the chief of the southern
branch. Your new title is
Dr. Serious: Yo-Yo In Charge of Southern
Things...’n’at.
Send comments to: doorfromhell@hotmail.com, or
the address on the back.

11. Garbage Pail Kid
of the Month
Name: Nasty Nick
Twin: Evil Eddie
Number: 1a/1b (1st Series)

12. The
CANS in FILM
FESTIVAL
Here are this year’s Nominees:
(Send Votes to doorfromhell@hotmail.com)
Jennifer Aniston Jenny McCarthy
Jennifer Love Hewitt Pamela Anderson Lee
Elizabeth Hurley Denise Richards

13. Talk like a capo (A-G)
administration: the upper-level burn: to murder; synonyms: contract: a murder assignment.
power structure of an organized break an egg, clip, do a piece of
crime Family, composed of the work, hit, ice, pop, put out a Cosa Nostra: Italian for "this
boss, underboss, and consigliere. contract on, whack. thing of ours," a mob family, the
Mafia.
associate: an almost-there; button: a "made" member of the
someone who works with and Mafia; soldier, wiseguy, goodfella, crew: a group of soldiers that
for wiseguys, but who hasn't Man of Honor. takes orders from a capo.
been sworn in as a member of
the Family. c a f o n e : a p h o n y o r cugine: a young toughguy
embarrassment to himself and looking to be made.
babania: Heroin, as in dealing. o t h e r s ; " g a v o n e " ( s l a n g
Lucrative but risky for mob pronunciation) do a piece of work: to murder;
insiders because if they're busted, see burn.
long prison terms might compel capo: ranking member of a
them to cut a deal and squeal. Family who heads a crew (or earner: someone whose expertise
group) of soldiers; a skipper, short is making money for the Family.
babbo: A dope, idiot, useless for capodecina.
underling. empty suit: someone with
Capo di tutti capi: see Boss of nothing to offer who tries to hang
b e e f : a c o m p l a i n t o r Bosses around with mobsters.
d i s a g re e m e n t w i t h i n t h e
organization, usually discussed chased: to be banished from the enforcer: a person who threatens,
during a sit-down with higher- M a f i a a n d b a r re d f ro m maims, or kills someone who
ups in the Family. associating or doing business doesn't cooperate with Family
with any made members. The rules or deals.
big earner: someone who makes punishment is merciful in that
a lot of money for the Family. A the offender is fence: someone with worldwide
LOT of money. spared death. outlets to liquidate swag.
books, the: euphemism for cleaning: taking the necessary friend of mine: introduction of
membership in the Family, since steps (driving around, stopping a third person who is not a
nothing is ever written down. in various locations) to avoid member of the Family but who
When there is an availability being followed. can be vouched for by a Family
(when someone dies), the books member.
are "opened." When no one is clip: to murder; see burn
being "made," the books are friend of ours: introduction of
"closed." clock: to keep track of someone's one made member to another.
movements and activities.
borgata: a crime Family; brugad. gavone: see cafone.
comare: a Mafia mistress;
boss: the head of the crime "goumada" (slang pronunciation). get a place ready: To find a burial
Family; he is the only one who site.
gives permission to "whack" or come in: To go see the boss when
"make" someone, and he makes summoned. gift: A bribe, sometimes for a
m o n e y f ro m a l l F a m i l y juror.
operations; synonyms: don, Commission, The: the Mafia
chairman. "ruling body", typically a panel give a pass: To grant a reprieve
made up of the bosses of the five from being whacked.
Boss of Bosses; Capo di tutti New York Families, Gambino,
capi: While no one proclaims Genovese, Lucchese, Colombo, going: About to be whacked.
himself the Boss of Bosses and Bonanno sometimes with
anymore, the press awards this representatives from other U.S. going south: stealing, passing
title to whomever they feel is the Families, such as Chicago. money under the table, going on
boss of the strongest of the five the lam.
Families of New York, who is also compare: crony, close pal, buddy.
said to preside over Commission Literally, "godfather" in Italian. goombah, goomba, gumba:
meetings. Sicilian slang for the Italian
consigliere: the counselor in a compare; plural: goombata
broken: demoted in rank; crime Family; advises boss and
"knocked down." handles disputes within the goumada: see comare.
brugad: a crime family; borgata. ranks.

15. The Door From Hell
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