This document provides a fictionalized summary of the author's career from 1996 to 2014. It describes various jobs including investigating food contamination at KFC, working as a trainee franchise supervisor, cooking menu photos for a fast food chain, opening their own security business, saving a potential rape victim, working at a petrol station where they helped roll out new computer systems, finding various public service contract jobs, and removing a spotlight from a federal senator's home while working in media. It concludes by saying the author retired at 26 to pursue viticulture studies and personal training, focusing on defense products in hopes of winning contracts.