Diary of an Awakening

Diary of an Awakening

By

Donna Angelle

Disclaimer

I have written what I believe to be truth.

However, please take everything with a grain of salt.

Run your own race into God's waiting arms.

Thank you Father
Thank you Jesus
Thank you Holy Spirit
This part was written last:
Spirals, we are back to spirals... I am writing backwards and forwards.

10:10 PM 5/23/2011
I smile as I remember 10:10 being my first numeric prompt.
I have spent many hours reading through the news and today's alternate
news sources.
These things cause depression.
I remembered my book and realized perhaps writing it would be the positive
message to myself that I need right now.

The purpose of this book is to lift you up.
It is a journey in search of our Family, the Family of God.
We will get nothing in our search for only ourselves.
Even our "higher" self is still one person.
God wants us all to be one.
Satan would have us believe we are all we need.
We have natural instincts as do the animals here with us.
Although, we are not evolved from apes.
The truth is that we are spiritual beings living a fleshly life.
We can be a higher being than this earthly visit if we choose.
However, we are not gods with amnesia.
God is God and I am not.
Thank God!
10:08 PM 5/23/2011

Isiah 5:20 “Woe to those who call evil good and good evil, who put darkness for light and
light for darkness, who put bitter for sweet and sweet for bitter.”
This is clearly a sign of our times now.

10:00 PM 5/23/11
As I think about continuing this writing, I am filled with reticence.
I am being awakened to the fact that satan plays such a huge role in our lives.
This world belongs to him until he is removed by Christ.
Our world is filled with satanic references almost everywhere.
I worry that I may write beliefs gained from new age philosophy instead of sound
Biblical doctrine.

If you don't like what you are getting, stop doing what you are doing.
12:16 PM May 22, 2011

11:33 PM 5/18/2011
epiphany: The Holy Spirit lives inside me. He has ever since I have invited Him.
Therefore, any physical manifestation felt within my body since is felt while the Holy
Spirit resides within.

10:40 am March 10, 2012

My last chapter states that through this process I have found myself.

Apparently, for me, it was important to see myself through the eyes of God first.

It was not until I had a firm relationship with God that I could see myself for who I
truly am. Perhaps it was only through His strength, I could find mine.

This book was my process. I intend to make it clear enough so that you may see the
path.

"A MODERN MYSTIC"
Wednesday 8:07 PM 02/16/2011
(beginning of green Rwanda notebook)
These are the words which began one notebook's journey. I received the notebook
from a fellow church member as a gift to our team as we were preparing for our
Departure to Africa. This was to be an awakening trip. This trip's purpose was
to open our eyes to Rwanda's plight and journey toward the light, the same plight
every third world country experiences.

Many of our thirty members had never been to Africa before.
This was a first mission anywhere for some.
This would be the first time we had stepped out in faith of our God.
We would need Him for such a journey.
Once I returned home I used the notebook for a dialog between myself and God.
Recently, the notebook has been filled and my thoughts have flowed over to paper.
My journey continues...

Friday March 28, 2008
1st Day in Rwanda
7:30 AM

I'm not really sure how God will use me today. I hope and pray that when He would
choose to have me help Him, I'm not distracted with my own busyness.
Today we will visit the Genocide Memorial and an orphanage. I know there is more
planned but our leaders wanted us to sleep so they kept the entire itinerary to
themselves.
Father use me. Thank you.

PEACE meeting orientation, with Eric Munyamane, our Saddleback leader in Rwanda.
How I can help;
1) Introduce them to the kingdom of God
2) Educate

I woke very early in the morning, alive and vibrating with excitement for the trip, for
the day and for our task at hand. We were warned back in the US that we may have
to speak in front of a congregation and to be ready. I decided to put pen to paper to
gather the thoughts which raced through my mind.

Greetings
Muraho
Mwaramutse
Mwiriwe
Amakuru - How are you today?
Imana Ishimwe
Nitwa Donna Angelle, my friends call me Donna.
Ewatchu Ni America.
Ntuye Saddleback Church.
Ndishimyea Kubabona. It is good to see you.

Today is a very special day for me. In my country we celebrate the day we were born.
Today is my birthday! Sometimes we have a celebration on this day. A few months ago
my Pastor, Pastor Rick Warren told us he was coming to Rwanda for a special day. He
told us of his plans to start 40 Days of Purpose here in Amohoro Stadium on this day,
the 30th day of March. I knew I had to be here.

I have not always known Jesus even though he was on our walls, in our Bible which was
filled with glorious pictures and sat as a statue carved in wood prominently displayed in
our home. I was born into a home where I was taught to go to church each Sunday, to
rely on the priests and their church for my needs, to pray a certain way, to sit, to
kneel, to stand at the correct times. When I confessed my sins to the priest he told me
I could be forgiven by saying five Hail Mary's and three Our Father's. I always
tried to do as I was told. I did not know God.

When I was nine years old my family fell apart. My mother became very sick. My
father became very drunk. My sister was one year old. My brother was soon to be
born. I became the head of my household. After four years of taking care of my
family I began to feel the burden very deeply. I knew I was not able to do this by
myself. I did the only thing I was taught to do, I went to the church to seek help
for my family. I thought, "If I tell a priest how difficult things are at home, he will
help me." I was told my entire life to rely on the priests to help me in my need.

I walked a long way by myself to my church. I knocked on the door and asked if I
could please talk to someone. I found myself sitting not in front of a priest, but a
bishop! I felt that surely this man can help me. I was very happy. I began to tell
him about the difficulties my family was struggling with; we did not have enough food,
or enough clothes, my mother was still very sick, my father was still very drunk, my
brother and sister were very young. I would even stay home from school to care for
them all.

When I finished, the bishop looked at me with anger in his eyes. He told me I was
wrong. I was a bad daughter for exposing my family's brokenness, my shame, my
needs. He sent me home, rejected, humiliated, destroying that which I held as my
very last hope for myself, for my family.

I walked home with hot tears of shame, disappointment and hurt flowing down my
cheeks. Not long after that I stopped going to that church.

I always would try to pray. I always was looking for God. I went down many, many
paths but each one seemed to bring me deeper into darkness. I slowly fell further and
further into despair. I did the only thing I knew how to do, I relied on my own
strength. I knew my strength was not enough but I didn't know what else to do.
Things went from bad to worse and still I tried to find God.

I studied Taoism. I studied Buddhism. I studied Judaism. I tried psychology and
psychiatry. I completed the "Course in Miracles". I read "Seth Speaks" and "The
Bhaghivad Gita". I tossed coins for the "I Ching". I contemplated the "Tale of Genji". I
read “The Prophet”.

I became a practitioner of the Shaolin Martial Arts. The arts which the very first
Buddha
developed so that the monks would not fall asleep while meditating and not become prey
to marauders on the paths they traveled daily. I even became an alcoholic in AA for
more than twelve years.

I contemplated becoming a monk, a Jew or anything. I was searching so hard. I was
following so many paths but all I found at the end of each path was darkness,
loneliness and despair.

I thought there was only one God but there were many paths to the top to Him. With
all of the things I tried, there was one thing I knew I never wanted to try. As a
child I had traveled and lived many places. When I was a young adult I moved to
Southern California. (While living there I came to learn of this large group of people.
They wanted to live separated from me it seemed. They wanted to shop mostly in
stores owned by others of their group. They drove around with symbols on their autos
to show they belonged.) There were many people who lived in Southern California who
called themselves "born again Christians." I thought they were all very strange and I
stayed as far from any of them as possible.

(added 12:48 PM 02/17/2011 My favorite saying at the time was ...
I have done so much for so long with so little, I am now qualified to do anything
with nothing - anonymous?)

By this time I was no longer young. I had three children and a husband. I did not
know how to love. I tried to be perfect all the time and it was not working. One day
when my husband was working away from home, it had been raining for many days.
We began to hear the mountains around us slide. My neighbors called me and told me
their home was filling with mud. I tried to call for help but no one came. Suddenly as
my children and I stood watching, horrified, the mountain behind us; the mud, the trees,
the boulders, crashed through our walls and filled our home with mud higher than my
head. Our home was destroyed. Help didn't come. Nearby neighbors rallied and brought
us into their homes and four hours later more slides came. My neighbors died. The
sounds of the slides rang in our ears for weeks, the scarred hills, a daily reminder for
months.

Days later as I stood in my yard with my home destroyed and nothing left undamaged, I
raised my fist angrily and shouted at God. Finally, after so many, many tragedies in my
life I gave up on God. I rejected Him.

Fortunately for me, God did not give up on me!

I think the next part of my life is where I am taken by my shoulders, my feet are
swept from beneath me and I land with a crash flat on my back. I have been taken
Down. (added 7:15 PM 02/17/2011)

As you might imagine, things went from bad to worse. I left my husband, who was
never really with me, and tried to make a new life where my children might know and
see love between loving parents...if I could somehow find it myself.

What I found was a man from Zimbabwe who was already sick with cancer. I cared
for him. I tried to make a good home for my children while caring for him.

What happened in the next few years after the mudslide was my first awakening.
My pastor likes to say, "If God has to put you flat on your back for you to look
up, He will." It is a clear message. God reaches out to me in my pain. Some of us
don't think of Him until it hurts so much we know we cannot continue alone.
This is where God would like us to begin.

Unless noted, the following is taken from notes written in the green notebook in order.
*******
*****
THE MODERN MYSTIC
beginning
page one
part one
This book began with these thoughts as I began giving myself positive messages in my
small notebook from our Rwanda trip...
I can be a leader!
PRAY IN THE SPIRIT
Age is irrelevant in eternity; or In light of eternity, age means nothing
Co-Dependency is finding someone you think is worse off than you are and trying to fix
them so that you can feel better about who you are (yourself)
ↂ

DNA
Jacob's Ladder

I had placed the above photo first. I thought surely this shows the complex nature of
our DNA with the ever-present yin yang but...
it seemed too complicated to grasp the theory which I am putting forth.
Therefore, I searched for another.
ↂ

Lo and behold, I found the best image but then when I read the copy of the article...
well, you can see for yourselves,
God is in the very, very smallest particles!
Search!

deoxyribonucleic acid

Experiment spots spooky quantum imprinting effect

DNA molecules can ‘teleport’, Nobel Prize winner claims

By John E Dunn | Techworld  Published: 15:56 GMT, 13 January 11

A Nobel Prize winning biologist has ignited controversy

after publishing details of an experiment in which a fragment of DNA appeared

to ‘teleport’ or imprint itself between test tubes.

According to a team headed by Luc Montagnier, previously known for his work

on HIV and AIDS, two test tubes, one of which contained a tiny piece of

bacterial DNA, the other pure water, were surrounded by a weak

electromagnetic field of 7Hz.

Eighteen hours later, after DNA amplification using a polymerase chain

reaction, as if by magic the DNA was detectable in the test tube containing

pure water.Techworld

"It is hard to understand how the information can be stored within water over a

timescale longer than picoseconds," said the Ruhr University in Bochum’s Klaus

Gerwert, quoted by New Scientist magazine, which broke the story (requires

registration).

I found this while searching for more photos of DNA... God gives us proof when

we search! 11:03 AM 02/17/2011 ☝

DNA : God's Ladder
Jesus' DNA
Fact: DNA changes in certain circumstances
The Bible paraphrased says, "When we become Born Again we die to our own selves."
(old DNA)
Theory: I say once we become Born Again we exchange our old DNA for the DNA from
God's very own family DNA and that if we could measure these differences we would
see them.
We are now in God's Family
We are now brothers with Christ
We now share his DNA
We spiritually are born into God's family
We spiritually evolve into God's own family
The aim of this book is to show you the connection between Jesus, the Yin Yang, Tao,
DNA and Jacob's Ladder

12/11/2010
Prophet
"Closer than my Shadow"
The Holy Spirit and your child
by Diane Hanny
"A Prophet is an appointed messenger of God. His ministry varies from church to
church and from meeting to meeting. He speaks forth the word of God. He has God-
given understanding; by the Holy Spirit he can foretell things that will happen. He
also gives direction to the ministry, worship and doctrine of a church. All these
responsibilities of a prophet are directly inspired by the Holy Spirit. No man could
know and do these things without God's help."
The book goes on to tell us how to tell if a prophet is from God by testing his
message by the following proofs;

1) Does his message line up with the written word of God?
2) Does his message come true at some time in the future?
3) Does his life show forth the fruit of the Holy Spirit?

There was a question on page 117 which asked,
"Have you ever met a prophet of God?"
My 6 year old son said, "Mom, you are a prophet."

This caught me off guard because I have never thought of myself as a prophet and
have never talked to him about this subject.

During one of my meditation sessions I felt a mass move through my center and up
and out of me, exiting at my throat. As it left me the word prophecy came to me.
Rather than believing that I would become a prophet I decided that I would study
prophecy. This led me to my exploration with the Book of Revelation. This was my
first introduction in learning of the prophetic nature of the Bible.

Sabbath Day – Saturday – rest day
Church Day – Sunday – meet with others

Then he said, "I want to make God happy."
He then walked to our Advent Calender, where one piece of candy sits in each slot
for the days leading into Christmas.
As he opened the wrapper for the tiny candy-cane he compared this candy-cane to
the one he ate after sitting on Santa's lap.
Santa as a Christian...

Is Santa a Christian?

Santa is the symbol of the spirit of Christmas
Christmas is the celebration of Jesus' Birthday

In "The Shack" The Holy Spirit is Asian and God is a black woman.

(When I was awakened in my darkness,
I knew The Holy Spirit was Asian.
I felt The Presence as an Asian master.
I was therefore confused
and sighed sadly
as my mind seemed
to be spinning
out of control)

God meets me first in my pain; I look for him or run from him in my pain

I AM FREE -
Look at me.
I'm as free as the wind on the sea.
Look at me.
I'm as high as the birds in the sky.
I don't know where I'm going.
I forget where I've been.
But my heart keeps on traveling into the wind.

- poem written in high school

Yesterday 12/10/2010 I became a 10th Degree Martial Artist in my spirit

As my travels through Jacob's Ladder brought me toward understanding I experienced
movement and pressure throughout and from within

My personal ladder, my DNA has been activating. Physically, I am changing. My
hearing is different. My heart also has changed. Most importantly, I have gained, calm
and peace.

(* 02/09/2011 I've felt more and more clearing, only now it is moving in spirals. My
perception has improved.)

What if the children and women were the original ninjas who follow after Samurai?
Widows and Orphans
Mothers and children
We will create a hub, a center, a NEXUS

DNA - spiral staircase
When we make a request of God,
He can answer yes, no or not yet.

We do not know God's answers sometimes. Then we say, "It may be God's will." or "If
it will be God's will."

Be = creation
becomes

"If the Lord comes for this..." "If God decides to create this..."
God tells us that when we ask according to His will, we will receive by faith.
We know then that when we align our will to God's will, we will receive.

ↂ

12/10/2010
Balance
Yin Yang

Snap Shot of the Universe
Black and White
Together
Circles

ↂ

If the Yin Yang is a snapshot of the Universe then God comes through the white
circle and we are the black circle

The Yin Yang is multidimensional

In life we are in spirals

The one dimensional symbol as a slice of time between our humanity and eternity

God is in Yin Yang but God is more, is deeper, is higher than we have imagined yet.

Go Higher!

11:16 AM 02/17/2011
I have wondered how this information will be disseminated. Today, the news tells us
that Borders Book Store is going bankrupt.
Why? We have the internet.

The internet allows us to give a book in a form called multimedia.
We can include three dimensional images, music and most importantly,
almost instant feedback between authors and those who experience our ideas.

The Yin Yang is God touching us.
Heaven is outside our physical laws and boundaries.
God is in the center of the Yin Yang.
Hypotheses; Yin Yang is the symbol of our relationship with The Holy Spirit on
earth.
ↂ

4 + 1 = All

4 is The Father, The Son, The Holy Spirit and Me

plus one = All and Always and All Ways

Jesus is the living water

Water, Fire, Earth, Air, Spirit

ↂ

The Father, through His Son is closer than my breath

Through Jesus, all of them live in me

There are four parts to a Yin Yang symbol; plus one

four parts; two black, two white plus God is the center

ↂ

The wheel of life

The wheel Buddha stepped outside = enlightenment

Off the Karmic wheel or You reap what you sow

ↂ
There is a plural "ONE" which I cannot be alone
because this one means ALL

ↂ

I'm gonna put on my robe...
This is for all, now, not when we are in heaven.
SING OUT LOUD

ↂ

12:02 PM 02/17/2011

Addiction is being convinced we cannot do without that which we desire
Reality will appear when you learn you can do without

5/2010 - 9/2010
My son and I were in Arizona alone in the middle of nowhere.
I could look out my door and see the sunset each evening
I could stand outside and turn 360 degrees in a complete circle and see no one but my
son and our dog
I cried
I cried out loud to God
I cried painful sobs of release
I felt the pain which lives inside me
I gave it to my Father
He is big enough to handle my pain
He is loving enough to comfort me
He is gracious enough not to let me be

12:19 Thursday 02/17/2011

from notes...

Because Jesus, who is God and man, has brought me into his family

I am in His Family I am in God's Family

I am dead to my own family DNA

Now I am directly related to God

{12:34 PM I would share a vision with you; ...

I had been thinking about my grandmother.
I have felt guilt regarding our lives together.
God wanted me to release my guilt.
Though she had died, she appeared in my dreams often.
It was always the same dream.
She looked at me.
She remained silent.
I would wake.

For many years I puzzled the meaning of this dream.
This was one of the few dreams which I have had repeatedly.

I realized it was my own forgiveness which I had denied to my grandmother which
haunted my dreams so.

She had not spoken to me for a year when she became angry with me. We lived in
a home together, alone. I was sixteen. I felt this punishment crippling to my inner
being. As a result while she lay in a bed for eight years when I was in my
twenties I visited her a very few times. The last time I saw her was when I was
thirty and I brought my three week old daughter to see her. I had traveled with
her from California to Boston to visit my family there.

I finally released the guilt I carried from that experience. Immediately, I
experienced a vision complete with physical sensations spiraling through my head.

In my vision, as my DNA was unwinding out toward God through my left temple, I
witnessed my ancestors turning to wave back as they left me.
Some just smiled and waved, some spoke.
They were all glad to be moving on.

These were people related to my past who were embodied in and embedded within my
DNA 12:40 PM

Hypotheses: As soon as I ask Him into my heart to live, my DNA is connected to,
better yet, graphed into, His DNA - Jacob's Ladder

As I have become cleared of old garbage, I became open to God.
March 10th, 2012 At 11:10 am

ↂ

continue with notes...
Jacob's Ladder is a spiral staircase to God.
The Tower of Babel was a spiral staircase to God.
God confused their tongues and dispersed them.
He said, "They will surely be able to make it all the way to Heaven."
I wondered and pondered why God would do this.
Why would he make the journey to Heaven more difficult after we had already begun?
Is it because we were entering from the outside?
God would have us look within first.

2:24 PM 02/17/2011

Look within for Him in order to radiate outward 7:27 PM 02/17/2011

My son is downstairs watching a Disney movie about voodoo. The Frog Princess. I
haven't seen it yet but my father's family is from the bayous of Louisiana so I
thought it would be fun to watch. Disney plays a role in my life as does the United
States. These are my large flags. 7:51 PM

11:11 am March 10th, 2012
They are tied to who I am.

5:08 PM
02/18/2011

♫ Song Playing... Oh Happy Day! ♬
He taught me how to watch, fight and pray
and live rejoicing every day

♫ Oh Happy Day! ♬
5:10 PM Friday 02/18/2011
My Good Friday.
I took a nap.

Our pastor would say, "Sometimes, the most spiritual thing you can do is to take a
nap."

Wallis, my late husband was my impenetrable wall
When the impenetrable wall meets the immovable object
opposition occurs
Stubbornness is the immovable object
8:22 PM
I tried to spell stubbornness but stubbornly I stumbled. Then found the cause to be
three sets of double letters in the darn word. I would say it is it's embodiment in
form
breathe 8:24

When I become stubborn my heart gets a sincere workout. My chest hurts. My
chest aches. I forget to breathe. I stop so that I may breathe. 8:26 PM
God speaks to artists as they write their songs then the artists may sing to us
We rejoice as their words bring us closer to God

If you are always searching for God
then you will giggle when you find out how close he is
you will live joyously

Have you played peek-a-boo with a baby?
The fun for the baby is that she truly does not know where you are when you cover
your eyes with your hands
You open them and exclaim, peek a boo! She laughs joyously as from out of
nowhere you have once again appeared
Her all

God is that close

You will laugh joyously when you are reminded how close 8:33 PM
I have decided to dedicate this writing to a full time work in order to finish in a
timely manner.
God speaks to us in time but He will not wait around for you to ready yourself
He has always been moving
You must already be waiting
and at the ready
in order to serve God completely
Then look for where He is already working
8:56 PM
Even good distractions are distractions 8:59 PM
ↂ
♪ "My secret life" - Leonard Cohen ♩

5:25 PM 02/18/2011 Friday

If you look at the affairs of man in relation to a joint race, where everyone gets the
same prize at the end then you will change
In the Bible, when the man who hired workers paid those who showed up last the same
as the first, the first were angry
Why would we begrudge anyone entrance into God's Glorious embrace?
Is it that we would be first? Jesus has already won. We cannot be first
In life, there will always be someone better or worse off than you

5:35 PM How we run our race becomes the most important consideration, not the
finish. We all will finish. We all will stand before God our Father at some point

There was a race in the special olympics where, after the race had begun and everyone
was loudly cheering the person in first place, one of the racers fell.
The person in the lead turned to see what had happened after hearing the audience
gasp.
He stopped. Then he turned and ran to help his fallen friend back to their feet
In fact, everyone went to help the fallen racer.
They locked arms and joined hands then finished the race together
Life can be like this, one person at a time.

ↂ

from notes:
Incense - smoke
candles - fire

We are in spirals; with yin yang
inner and outer
mindful and no mind
conscious and sub conscious

Sunday 12/12/10

Pastor Message Notes: Pastor Louis
Wish versus Free will
No commitment committed
God gives me a free will
to choose
Life Death
Blessing Cursing
When I choose Life I choose God
Once I am committed, now supernatural strength from the Holy Spirit gives me power
for my purpose
I am purposed to accomplish
The spirit of God is Life
What I allow into my mind becomes my life
Thoughts can be redesigned when they are captured

Joshua, Caleb and the other spies
Only Joshua and Caleb saw God's vision
The others saw Giants
*** Don't let go of the land where God told me to go
"As a man thinketh in his heart, so is he." the Bible
Science has found a brain in our heart
Life is a series of choices
We cannot control our circumstances
We can control how we respond and how we think of them
brain up on wall with one side showing blue, white and green the other gray and brown
{picture of brain - yin yang}
Choose Life so that me and my descendants may live!
end pastor notes
i.e.: My DNA affects my descendants DNA
ↂ

Colors
Black {all colors at once}
white
red
green
purple
blue
brown
orange
Yellow
Now, I am creating. God is always creating.

Sunday 12/12/10

10:00 AM Wednesday 02/23/2011

If we are to find the highest goal. We must find Jesus' eyes.
Where is Jesus right now?

He is home, with His Father and The Holy Spirit, intimately involved with our race.
In the Bible, Jesus' home can be found in "The Song of Solomon"
I was recently researching mystics and historical mysticism.

It was then where I learned that "The Song of Solomon" was about Jesus.
When we search for Jesus we find Him, everywhere, at home.
Will we go past the Throne Room and into His chambers?

Our greatest goal is to share home with Jesus,
to turn any corner and be able to see Him,
to know he is there by feeling His presence,
to close our eyes and see His face,
to witness His smile,
to share a dance,
to love and be loved by Him.

Mysticism = Striving to know God experientially. 10:23 AM

ↂ

Joining in my church's choir has brought me into the midst of genuine people who have
a connection with God. I hear and see things I would not have seen while alone. I
experience things that would be missed in solitude. Experiencing God with Godly people
is also my goal. The Holy Spirit flows through us as we reach out to you.

Those things which I ask of God, I do not want to ask of myself but so that the Glory
of God be made manifest and shown to others.

♩♫ Oh Happy Day! ♬...When Jesus washed my sins away! ♩
ↂ

11:20 AM 02/24/2011
My choices affect eternity.
Nathan's memory verse from kid's church, "We know that God is always at work for
the good of everyone who loves Him." Romans 8:28
I believe I had lucid dreaming last night.
The inner dream of Yang to the left of my head I turned onto my left only to look
down then there were two loud knocks right where I was already focusing.
My inner person is interacting with my outer world.
My furnace was breaking down as I thought of the cause of my personal blindness.
When I was 18 I had been hypnotized. I was told to look into a
mirror to my right.
I experienced a deep shock which took the hypnotist more than 45 minutes to bring
me out from.
My Psychic Cataclysm
Absolute destruction
The Deepest Fire
Pain Past Enduring

Last night, I dared to look upon it again.
I became willing to confront it head on, eye to eye.
Last night I looked beyond my self imposed veil at Christ's Kingdom.
I looked up from where stood.
I saw the cross standing on top of the stairs with rays of light
radiantly flowing down toward me.

After the knocks from the furnace I experienced a strong smell as our furnace
malfunctioned. My reality was mirroring my inner self.

I've experienced the top in my dreams.
I've experienced the place where I can live miracles.
I have found the place where I am in relationship with God.
I have become familiar with God.

I have learned that I can create with my words, my focused free will and commitment
which is in line with God's will.
I found the place where my will to create intersects with the power of the word.
There is a path which brings you there. A path which begins at the cross, everyone's
crossroad.

✞
The center of the cross is Jesus.
The cross and our God connection

Jacob's Ladder
DNA
Yin Yang
Chakras
Dreams
Praying in the Spirit
Spiral Staircases
Meditation
Chi
The Holy Spirit - The Holy Spirit lands as fire and strong wind (?)

4 + 1 = ONE

God, the Father
God, Jesus the Son
God, the Holy Spirit
Me

That's four of us plus one
plus one = you
equals ONE, all of us

This Plural One: One can equal both of us but not me alone.
i.e.: I am one of them.
not
I am the only one.
We are one together. We are united.
I cannot be alone when we are united.
The Trinity as ONE

There is a plural "ONE" which I cannot be alone
because this one means ALL

December 14, 2010
The Yin Yang as life principle
Balance
The symbol has 4 parts
two dots/circles
multidimensional
spirals
The larger pieces are equal opposites
The shape of the pieces denote movement, circular movement
Physical demonstration; cake batter
parts of a cake mixed into one cake
stir vanilla and chocolate

☯

A candy cane is an example of spiraling stripes.

Nathan woke up at the same time I did. He said he thought he heard a mouse. I
went
to sleep thinking about the chinese zodiac, the western zodiac and the Bible's warning
against them. the Bible allows us direct access to God. Astrology tries to study our
connections to Him first through ourselves. However, once we are firmly rooted into
God's family we can now explore His cosmos as travelers with Him.

Once I am in God's family I can learn to live with Him in my heart. Every choice is
now made toward life.
I have died to my old self. i.e.; My old DNA
I am a new creation in God

Jacob's Ladder
Includes ancestry, "I am the God of Abraham, Jacob and Isaac."
4 + 1 again
Now 1 also means new relatives
When I pray in line with God's will, His power is made manifest in my life.
"Within your will Father, I can create life on earth."

12/17/2010

We are in California.
12/18/2010
Last night I laughed at the irony of life! My friend Harry worked and made a great
income, had a great time and learned a great new skill. My friend who runs from
paperwork is now excited about excel.
9:19 AM 12/22/2010
My kitchen has 3 drawers to search for items. This morning, I woke up in Rancho
Bernardo in a very nice home. Yesterday I struggled to find the right cabinet for the
trash. This morning, I became dizzy while looking for the cereal, bowl and spoon.
Poverty has its upside at times. Especially when you consider the simplicity added to
your life.
Life has us accumulating and letting go. In the airport I traveled with two backpacks
for Nathan and me. I watched as a couple with a small child carried an enormous
amount of ancillary luggage for this small human. The baby will grow and the
mountains of luggage go.

12/25/2010 Happy Birthday Jesus!

Nathan and I are with our friends in California, including Don and Sally.

Christmas with lots of people. My mother's last gift to us. I've dreamed of her often
since she died.
I was teaching a martial art's class in the last one. My mother got knocked down and
her head banged on the floor. Her head had been completely shaved. She bounced to
her feet, turned and looked at me with a big smile, "I'm O.K.! I took my medicine last
night." I've thought of that dream. There was another woman in this dream. It
looked as though she purposely knocked my mom over. She looked at me with a
seeming superior look, acknowledging with a glance that she had acted purposely.

Considering my mother's severe brain trauma, I could imagine that her first steps into
her new spiritual life might be confusing for her to grasp right away. I thought
angels might have helped to ease her soul gradually into its new home. Now she was
learning to be well after she had adjusted to disability for so long.

Though, that seems wrong. Added friday the 13th at 9:19 am. 1/13/2012.
A new number today 9
End?
The song, I'm out on the border plays as I contemplate a trip to Arizona...

Mystic - one who seeks God's face. One who seeks God experientially.

((drawings in notebook))

{My vision: "Come up here my child." Then gentle hands lifted me up out of my self
imposed pit. After experiencing demons being picked from my body I found myself
asking why it had taken me so long to remove them. I was told I had continued to
agree with them.
Like the child who is told continually that she is an idiot who grows into the adult
who confirms it, "Yep, I'm an idiot."

I found myself feeling completely free for the first time in my life. I wondered aloud
if my outward person even looked changed.

You might say, the demons were the remnants of distorted thinking.

Experiencing life
Experiencing choice

I choose life!
Each choice we make impacts us.
Life is a series of choices
Choose life

When my choices lead to actions that align with God's will I can stand in His strength,
sure of His power and wisdom.
The greatest gift God gives us first is Joy from His heart to ours.
Then our soul dances.

((drawing))

December 28, 2010

When we are facing the unknown, we can remember the providence of God and find
peace.

My favorite Buddha was the laughing Buddha. My belly is getting like his. I am
also finding his joy.

December 30, 2010

A new day; a chance to remember to look at the big picture, a time to look for
encounters with divine appointments.

December 31, 2010

If you feel the inclination to worry about me, please pray for me instead.

1/1/2011

Happy New Year!

Wow!

2/1/2011

Tools:
Necklace
Yin Yang Beads
Earrings
One Yin
One Yang
Bracelet
Dolphins
Stones
chakra stones
Tai Chi

2/2/2011
8:28 PM
Wednesday

As Jesus' bride (wed -nesday)

[((Photos hand position in Yin Yang 1 - sketch, photo
with pen 2 ((?have I forgotten?))]

taoist Christian

2/3/2011

((Yin yang drawing... white dot, face coming, black dot, face leaving/coming and going))

The center of Yin Yang is Tao

{Drawing Here}

When does a soul start its journey in the human race?
At the instant the sperm meets the egg.

Clock face:
9:09
22° H 27° L 7°

"Yin Yang
Universal oneness
The duality of all phenomena
Whether summer and winter,
male and female or
life and death, are to be shown as opposing manifestations of the
same principle and should not be viewed
as independent phenomena." -Tao.org

Day
Night
In between day and night there is twilight.
Twilight is day becoming night.
Twilight represents the gray.
In life, gray is confusion.
There is no gray in Yin Yang.
Gray is confusion and also becoming.

Personal note: In this article it was stated, "There are no straight lines in nature."
I wondered, what about a cactus needle?
What about the straight fractures along some crystals and minerals?
I am not sure of this quote as being accurate.

"Investigating the opposite side of a phenomena often provides an easier path to
enlightenment than the more direct approach.
It turns out its easier for the mind to comprehend what it doesn't want."

2/14/2011 Date
12:48 AM Time
4 + 1 = Equation
We are One Answer
Algebra i.e.: proof
Symmetry

1:01 AM
"One by one... the broken hearted many, the open hearted few." - Leonard Cohen

2/5/2011
The Truman Show i.e.: The United States of America
(new note 4/16/2011 perhaps the entire world)
The rest of the world watches and stays interested in knowing about worldwide events.
The US is in a bubble.
Everyone in the world knows the US is in a bubble.
Only the US thinks it is in an impenetrable, inescapable, enclosed place.
What happens when the bubble pops?
8:48 PM
4 + 1
4 + One
Jesus, God, the Holy Spirit and Me = 4
+ One = The Family of God

"We are the ones we are waiting for." Jerry Wills

***Phone face
2/5/2011
3:11
30°
13 mail
(When I initially wrote this down here is what those numbers brought to mind...The ides
of March. Friday 13 - 31st when my father died. I always throughout my life felt
cautioned by the quote, "Beware the ides of March!" As I wrote this in february I
had hoped my parents were in heaven watching me sing.
Now, from the perspective of time... I write this after the horrific earthquake, tsunami
and nuclear disaster of March 11, 2011. This is what I had been warned about. I am
very new to these feelings of connectedness with those higher than myself and
therefore made a mistake of looking into the past instead of looking forward to the
future. 4/16/2011 10:36 AM

My spiritual evolution...
Age 0 - 15 Catholic
Age 16 - 28 Taoist
Age 29 - 39 Spiritualist
Age 40 - 48 Christian
Age 49 – now Mystic

* Clock face of phone lit up by itself @ 12:20 AM 2/7/2011 ☺
Good Morning Father!
If you continue to have Faith, God gives you a proof!
I contend that our DNA changes when we enter God's Family.
When we choose life and we are reborn, our DNA belongs to Jesus' own DNA.
Our life is now forever intertwined with everyone in God's Family.

God wants a family.

03/30/1961
My Birthday
I am the first in Western and second Eastern zodiacal sun and moon signs.
New note 2/16/2011 11:11 AM
I am catching myself editing the things which I wrote as I try to formulate this book
from my heightened experiences.
I reminded myself not to edit at this time since I am not sure what all of this means
yet.
As I notice the time 11:11, which I've stopped to make a note to myself not to edit, I
am reminded that God is truly with me in this effort.
back to notes...
Aries
Ox
Metal
I always believed that the Ninjas were the women and the children of the Samurai
warriors of ancient Japan.

(new note - I have been working on clearing my body of negative energy and influences
from my past and distorted thinking. I am wondering if kundalini could be an outside
energy as opposed to chi which is our natural energy flowing through our bodies. The
reason for the distinction has come about by the new work I have been engaging in with
kundalini energy. As I meditated on God and worked on clearing out anything which still
remained which had negative influence I was directed to a locked area of my heart
(chakra?) I experienced pain and blockage. Through inviting God, Jesus and the Holy
Spirit to occupy each and every crack and crevice within every cell of my body I felt
once again a darker force being expelled from within. My heart is now feeling lighter,
freer, stronger and pain free. As I know through personal experience that God gives me
all the energy and power I will ever need at exactly the right time I am becoming
convinced that so called "spiritual" work which calls any other energy to us is a force
which also brings in negativity, darkness and demonic forces.)
Creating is the outlet for energy
Monday 2/7/2011 11:22
3:13 Amazing Grace!

The following is part of a vision I received while meditating

I saw a man with snow on him. He picked up something from the woman in the mud
then began walking upwards on a path up a mountain. She was on her hands and knees
cleaning. She wore an oriental hat and black clothing as she tried to clean the water,
ash and mud from the ground. (colors, black, gray and brown)
I asked, "Who are you?" to the young man. An old man appeared over to my left
shoulder across from where I stood. I moved my focus to him and realized I was losing
the climb of the young man. The old man did not want me to hinder the young man. I
returned my gaze upwards to the young man and watched his ascent up the mountain.
As he rose higher he was surrounded by snow.

My vision moved from there to yellow flowing color (yin) and purple flowing color (yang)
flowing in an unconfined yin yang, not exactly a circle but more like a flowing slushy

I think because of this vision while hypnotized at 18 years old, I experienced the
bottom of my psyche.
I was instructed to walk into a home, to go into the bathroom and to turn and look
into the mirror.
I expected to see myself. I saw instead a form which was human but burnt beyond
recognition. There was only burnt, charred flesh.
I saw annihilation
I became internally blind due to this vision. My
mind's eye became black and gray only.
At 50 years old I can only glimpse visions through my inner eye though I've practiced
meditation for many years.

Therefore I have gone to the bottom and made it back around to the top, I am
completely with the Lord.
My vision is returning after all these years of meditation and prayer.
I love you Jesus!
Thank you Father!
-God stopped them from completing the tower of Babel because they were outside.
We need to build inside first.
Go within when you Pray
Spirals
Circles
DNA - Ladders
Chi - Holy Spirit when we allow Him

Awakening
Meditation is Prayer
Imagination is Prayer when your focus is on God
Mindset -
Lack; I must make this last until I can get more.
vs
Abundance; When this is gone it is alright.

"Those who have ears to hear..." - Jesus

Just as many new Christians experience a literal "new sight" when colors become
brighter, it is as if you are seeing through a child's eyes again with a film now
removed, I believe we also develop the ability to hear differently through greater
connection to our Father, Jesus and the Holy Spirit.

1:22 PM I remember my tongue was stayed by the Holy Spirit, keeping me silent
when I would have spoken otherwise.

1:24 My son walked upstairs and told me my alarm was ringing and he turned it off
for me. Good Boy!
Now Pumpkin is barking. She is telling me we need to go. ☺
I have entered the Throne Room. 3:13 PM
3:13 Angel's wings
I - 111, 222, 444
II - 313, 232

We can awaken twice.
We can awaken while we are in darkness.
We may fall back to sleep.
We can awaken in the light.
Then we may truly see.

Last night at the super-bowl party at a church Judy, a five
year old little girl said to me, "I couldn't find you."
"I never moved." I said
A few minutes later...
"I couldn't find you again."
"I still haven't moved."

Sara, the woman who brought her told me when I told her what had happened,
"She was that far from me." As she pointed to a wall near us.
"We waived at each other and my friend let her come to me.
It took three hours for us to find her again.
That's why I tell my friends to never let them go."

For me, this is the example of our human condition with regard to our Father in
Heaven.

Pentatonic Scale
Amazing Grace played only on the black keys
White author, slave trader
Slave tune

Amazing Grace, the joining of the black and the white
8:38
8:48
1772 "Faith's Review and Expectation"
John Newton
Amazing Grace

9:29
Classes for people who are in wheel chairs
People who are emotionally unstable
stretching
chairs for everyone in class for support
new group

{drawing yin yang with expansion}
Humans are 98% water
Renew your source
The Holy Spirit is our fire
It is God who gives us life

You have a divine appointment

Susan Boyle

Death's Door At
10:44

Singing is worshipping God
Through singing we open up our body to healing vibrational tones
This was made very clear to me as I practiced to join a church choir

{notes}

In Genesis the Father was crying.
He was lamenting not punishing, when he said,
"You shall surely die!"
Relate to a mother's lament when she finds out her son or daughter has become a
soldier.
"Child, you will surely die!" as she collapses into your arms.

God is only Love.

Your ego cannot accept that.
We can call it a
H - ego or a
Sh - ego

And as you are still going around ruled by self God would say, "There h -egos
again!" "There sh -egos back around again!"
As we, echoing our children, "Again! Again! I want to do that again!"

Isn't it strange that we often want the scary rides or the ones which make us
dizzy? We want to feel.

3:39 PM

It was 9:09 when I finished my audition with pastor James to sing in the choir.
Time is the variable in the equation of this book
Time is future, now, past and imaginary.
Imagination and creation together can be seen as showing reciprocity
Dreams and imagination are parts of us we stopped ourselves from using, collectively

We do have a collective consciousness
Without imagination, we have lost creativity
Creativity cannot exist without it

85% of our brains, we are told, have gone unused.

I contend that this is where imagination lies dormant
Consider the holograph room on the second version of Star Trek...
Our Holo-deck is empty. The wires are cold with neglect.
We need to fire up the currents so that the lights can come back on.

If the Law of Entropy is applied to man, this generation is the proof that Darwin's
theory is wrong.

Many are quick to disparage the veracity of the bible. No one will be able to bring
a book written in the past 100 years which could have the impact of the Bible or
any other book which has stood the test of time.

This life is a test.
Many of us have heard that.
I would contend that we are in a test of time.

Our question for our test will be, "What have you done with what you have been
given?" - Pastor Rick Warren

How have you spent your time?

11:48 PM Tuesday February, 8, 2011

New note 2:37 PM 5/28/2011
Fibonacci spirals

Our next true spiritual evolution as a people will be actually re-learning what our
ancestors did without thinking and our children do without thinking,
we will use our imaginations!

It is somewhere in there where we can be very close to our creator.

What do you do with your time?
Do you go to the store almost every day? Why?
Ask to enter the Throne Room
The door is always open for you

God is everywhere
All the time
And available
for everyone
If you look for Him
He will be there
at anytime
That is eternity
God is only Love
And He is perfect
You can connect with Him now

Your death in your daughter's heart - Leonard Cohen

What do you insert here?
Everyday I have to _______.

You will begin to see which demon is bothering you.
You must not agree with your demons or they will want to remain

You are more powerful than they are through the power of the Holy Spirit but they will
remain if you agree

Everyday you make many choices.
CHOOSE LIFE

8/9/2011

Seek God's presence not His presents.
He has already given you everything you need.

Imagination exists in no mind
Meditation seeks no mind

An awakened person has access to no mind
An awakened person knows God
An awakened person wakens others
9:08

re member
re pent
re turn
re produce

An awakened person is mindful
yin yang example:

focused attention - mindfulness
leads to
no mind

2/9/2011

God speaks to us through numbers as symbols (algebra)

8 infinity
4 God, Jesus, Holy Spirit and me
1 ONE
We are ONE
I am 1

4 + 1 = 5

Living Water
THE Source

We are born in water
We are 98% water
That source is God
Jesus is our living water
Without it we become dust, dust in the wind

{screen graphic from computer}

The last shall be first and the first shall be last

Alien is not what we think! We are all Aliens.

There is an All
Our DNA is proof
Our link to God
People have been looking for the missing link in bones
Just as God it has been there all the time.
Just as the bones in I Ching are only part of the answer,
we must look smaller still,
to our very DNA
To Jacob's Ladder
To the Source
Song - I'm gonna put on my robe and tell the story...
God is always talking to all of us.

Moments of indecision are yin yang
La Chiam! To Life! Choose Life!

{Drawing of triangulation}

"There is no other name by which we must be saved... Jesus"

When I sang a song which had Jesus in it the vibrations I experienced inside myself
led to what I will call harmonic resonance within my head.

Triangulation
The golden triangle
the golden mean
symmetry is beauty

Music is vibration
resonance
harmony

The Angels sing!

The Angels are here.
They are messengers from God and they always bring you peace.

Harmonic Resonance

"Those who have ears to hear, let them hear." - Jesus

((End of green notebook))

Part II
Chapter 1
Amen
Men thought God said Amen.
God said, "Ah men."
As He shook His head while watching us choose death.

Calligraphy
Symbols
Music
Word

Knowledge of plants
The plants speak with us - Ayahuasca
Each word is a message, when you are mindful 4:02 Thursday February 10, 2011
God gave us time so we could learn to listen to Him.

Me: There is no faith in doubt
There is no faith in doubt
I have been made dead to the flesh.
I have been healed.

Are there plants in heaven?
Shall we find the garden of Eden?

We are awakened two times,
once in the darkness,
once in the light.

The unforgivable sin is rejecting God while in the Holy Spirit.

5:01

"The number of a man." - The Bible

{drawings}

You must focus the light within you to the intensity of a laser
Look for God with the focused precision of a laser
You will surely see Him

"Your eyes are the lamp to your soul..." - The Bible

4 + 1 = → 5:22 2/10/2011

Nathan is counting to 100 today

He is using a paper which was already used
On the paper was written, "When people sin, you should forgive and comfort them, so
that they won't give up in despair." 2 Corinthians 2:7

New note 4/16/2011 4:28 PM
To sin means to miss the mark. This is important to remember. A sin is a try and
a miss. Try again!
Help your friends who sin to get back up and try again.
God looked at us and saw that we all sin, all of us, each and every one. Turn to
your neighbor and help him back up.
WE ALL SIN

back to notes...

Nathan has gone to scouts. I am wearing a purple Mickey Mouse shirt. Walt Disney,
Ox
( New note: Disney carried his mouse to Buddha, or did his mouse carry him? ) ...

☺
My great Aunt Hilda worked for Disney and encouraged me to draw
She gave me many drawings she had done
I cherished those drawings
My sister destroyed them

"Your friends are for comfort but your brother and sister are meant for trouble."
- The Bible

Catholic church - Where is Jesus?

He is in the center, hanging dead on the cross.
The Catholic church has it partly right.
Our focus must remain on the brightest light in the room in every moment

The light came through the window, straight from the sun above...
so inside my little room
there plunged the rays of love – Leonard Cohen

in streams of light

Jesus is our living water
The Father is the Glory - bright shining brilliance, limitless power

I should tell you about Cane and Able
They brought me to the psyche ward
when my brother and sister had me locked away
That was where He sent an angel to speak to my soul.

I had been trying to read the bible for more than 20 years and could not.
This woman came to me dressed as a holy woman in all white.
She spoke to me in a different language.
She opened to the first page in a small bible I was struggling to read.
She spoke to my heart in a language I had never heard.
For the first time in my life, I could read the bible.
It says in the bible that God works all things for good for those who love Him.
My two day stay in the hospital was very traumatic for me, a dark time for my soul.
However, without it, would I know God?
He showed up when I would have least expected it and beginning with this woman's
Prayers I learned to know God.

{Drawing of the 666 pattern with an 8 as infinity to explain the concepts together
of...

1st childhood

Re birth
Re pent
Re turn
Re lease
Re peat
Re main
Re deem}

Satan the sneaky snake * see note

We need clear understanding of

mathematics
computers
calligraphy
Music
singing
playing
dancing
fighting
meditating
tao (as it can be clearly seen)

This is a test and a race
Our finish line for this race is our death on earth
What will we have done with our life?
Are we focused on the good, the holy, the pure?
Or are we distracted?

La Chiam! To Life!

7:04 my computer died

Sunday, my pastor asked me if I had satan under my feet.
I answered, "I do."

{Expand illustration}

New note 2:47 PM 5/28/2010
{I had a new vision on this question regarding satan under my feet.
As I thought of that I felt a demonic force attached to the very bottom of my foot.
I realized I was "holding" a demon to me by saying I "had satan under my feet"
because I surely did.
I asked God to remove this through the power of Jesus and felt release.
Through this I was brought to a clear understanding of how our very own words can
lead us astray.}

We are all in the army now
The army of God
Children of military parents are already trained to be soldiers
We can be a force
God is All we need

He is more than we can imagine
He is more than we can hope for
He is more than we can dream

God is all
God is all, always and in all ways
He is only God
We only need God

Thursday 8:14 PM

{Drawing}

∞ Infinity
666 The number of a man
☯ Yin Yang

Re Pent
If Re Turn
Re Lease
Jesus ________ ✝ cross road
Then Re Deem
_____________________
If not,
then Re Peat

Our energy moves in spirals
Galaxy

God's evidence for us,

Tornado
whirlpool
Hurricane
Spiral above Norway

This would be a good time to talk about Fibonacci, the golden mean, the golden
spiral and the golden rectangle
A man named Fibonacci discovered an interesting phenomena. When you take 1,
1, 2, 3, 5, 8, 13, 21, 34 etc... You find these numbers consistent in nature,
man, space etc... Hence we call this the golden mean. God's numbers for perfect
creation. It is interesting that the spiral is prevalent but these numbers also
work for triangles and rectangles.
The more energy work I do the more I feel it moving in spirals throughout my
body.
Remember, sin is missing the mark.
The mark is the laser light of God's light which we will always find if we look for
Him.
When our focus remains on God, We remain in God.
Following are more examples of God's spirals...


Pine Cone

Sunflower

Fractals

Nautilus Shell

Cactus

Part II
Chapter 2
The Aliens are among us.
They are us.

Triangles
"Triangulation" - the man from the psyche ward was always triangulating
He had a Mont Blanc Pen (White Mountain)
Snow on the mountain

The mountain is covered with snow.
I believe that many who are in psyche wards are following their paths toward
enlightenment the way they know how to at that moment.
Crazy people are not crazy.
They bring others to their own fear.
Most run away.

Are you searching for a light like a flickering candle?

Or perhaps a flashlight shining through the darkness?
Or how about the laser beam which seems to go so much further and clearer than
those?
God is brighter than all of those.
I cannot be God but with God's help I can be as focused and as clear as the laser.
A laser can cut through flesh and bone.

Part III
Chapter 1
Harmonic Resonance - God can put music in your ears
Everything else is a distraction
God is in our DNA
You talk to Him at that level first

94% 9:46
Thesis - (my test for God)

Leonard Cohen - I'll try to say a little more...
Oh my gosh! I exclaimed!
My grade, 94% 9:46
Leonard Cohen - Streams of light I clearly saw
(I was supposed to write saw but wrote
Sam. At the same time I experienced a high ring in my ear.)

Leonard Cohen sang... Here is the night... Here is your death in your daughter's heart
Hello my love, my love good-bye
(I want to see these as two people with my daughter as my love and perhaps a new
love,
Sam who will come into my heart in the future)

((It is at this point in taking notes down that I am faced with the difficulty of
trying to get the drawings into the text of the book properly.
I plan to make this a brand new type of book which will be a multimedia book
complete with drawings, music, photos and even moving explanations such as a 3D Yin
Yang))

Those who have ears to hear, let them hear.
Command. This is a command from God.
Harmonic Resonance

God is everything
Listen for God

Make your very best effort to reach your source

Re member - meet with other members

We are always learning or we are dying
Remember your first and best goal
God is always the same for everyone all the time
Anything which says otherwise is not connected with God

10:20 School
Sunshine
Nutrition/Vitamins Cooking
Martial Arts
Cleaning
Electronics
Automotive
Solar
Music
Dance
Orchestra
Band
Language
Drama
Economics (budgeting/shopping)
Horse riding
sports of various kinds

4 + 1 = 5 + 1 = 6 * the second 1 is the person who does not choose God
666 is the number of a man
Break it down
4 + 1 = 5 + 1 = 6
1 God
1 Jesus
1 Holy Spirit
1 me
1 you, who go with God
1 you, who do not go with God
ONE = All of us. We are all one, together.
+ 1 = 1 person alone
*God gives us all the option to choose
Our choice is either to be with Him or without Him through eternity
This is our ultimate God-given choice. No one can make this choice for us. Do not let
them try.

4 + 1 = ONE
[God, Jesus, Holy Spirit, me] + [you, who are in God] = ONE
There is also 1 who will not choose God
There is 6 our -self- chooses to re peat
100% 10:37
Bonus Question

7 is Rest
We must breathe!
The breath of life.
We are to treat ourselves correctly

Love God
Love our neighbors
This is the sum of the 10 Commandments
10:44 PM ☺

If you have a beginning and an end, there must be a middle.

Birth Death
Our minds can evolve
Our thoughts can evolve
Our bodies begin with part of our mother and part of our father
Our mother and our father, two have become one
Us
Our DNA
Our soul's connection to our ancestors
Triangulation

Us

Mother Father

When we choose to listen to those things which God has already told us through the
Bible,
When we completely decide to choose God, life, love,
We are reborn in the cellular level
Now our DNA is also made new
We are completely renewed
Now we rejoice!
We are in the Family of God
It is already the largest family in the world
God places us into the very best family there will ever be

Us

God Others in God's family

through eternity

We already have everything we need

No Mind
Burning Finger
Mindfulness
Tea Ceremony
Meditation
Focus
Shamanism
Hinduism
Taoism
Buddhism
Judaism

ism - we are trying to get to the top of the mountain
We are climbing our mountains.

What is my job?

I must be about my Father's business.

We pray to God
All day, all the time
Our self talk becomes prayer
We have allowed God to share our homes
We can share His
Keep focused on the light
and you will have this
He is calling your name
God has awoken you from your sleep
Wake from the darkness
Wake from the light
Wherever you are, God, our heavenly Father is calling your name

I married a man who's surname means torture
This is one of life's ironies
We were married 10 years
We had 3 children

If you are choosing death ask yourself why. 11:46 PM

Our names
God knows our names
Do you know your name?
Do you know who you are?
God knows who we are.
He loves us still
11:50 PM

Remember to wake up twice.

{{illustration - yin yang, darkness, light, advance, retreat
Water, twilight - blue, red, green}}

Martial arts uses colored belts
We mark our level of advance
Color is only important with meaning

I told Sara I had reached the mountaintop

Rejoice!

54% 12:18 AM 2/11/2011

Mindful - The I am vs.
Willful - The I will - satan's fall

Education cannot completely cover truth

You say to one,
Be mindful of those flowers, mind your manners.

The created cannot surpass the creator.

You say to the other,
You are a willful child.

I took a computer test.
Are you right-brained or left?
I was found to be whole-brained.

God comes in at the very best times.

ↂ
If you are seeking God, He will get your attention.

The conversation in Job between God and satan always bothered me.

12:37 AM

Uncontrollable laughing - Holy Spirit laughing

Your death in your daughter's heart - Leonard Cohen

Your Father makes sure He is known.
Hello - Uncontrollable laughing again
but
These are things to remember,
Truth is always truth,
No means no,
Yes means absolutely
Maybe means perhaps, God willing
ↂ
Paul - I have finished the race. I have fought the good fight.

I have finished the race.
I have fought the good fight.
Now it is time to show others.
12:57 AM

Now I get to see my husband forever, everywhere. I like that.
When you have finished the race, you have awakened.
1:45 AM

ↂ
Which is stronger bamboo or hemp?
2/11/2011 symbols
Dawning ... in Ohio I am Dawna
Donna
God changed my name
Dawna
Since I've moved to Ohio when I say my name Donna people here write Dawna
I think that's cool
I am a barometer - I come from the deep
The lotus, a pure flower which grows up through the mud.

ↂ
(new part)
10:02 AM 2/11/2011
Satan and his demons.
The greatest trick satan has ever accomplished (after the forbidden fruit) is to have
convinced us that he does not exist.
As the result we are convinced that we are ultimately the cause of our troubles.
When, in fact, satan and demons are conspiring against us continually.
Until we are wearing the whole armor of God in all our life, we are vulnerable to their
repeated attacks.

God is always with us.
I believe!
Whole equals one - whole one.

He taught me how to watch, fight and pray.

10:16 AM
100%
4 + 1 = 5 + 1 = 6

Our family has a trait. I have it.
My baby finger bends in toward the ring finger.
So my family circles back.
My smallest digit.
My cousin's toe bends in.
There are many redheads.
A woman in Arizona is named Red.
I mentioned to her the traits of redheads in families to be witches.
We compared our fingers,
We both had the same baby finger.
The pressure inside my head literally knocked me a few steps.
I got knocked upside the head.

10:26 2/11/2011
I shall see His face...
I'm going to put on my robe
Tell the story
How I made it over
(I have finished this race)
I am still alive!

Now my fingers are all sore - only the tips
I know
I can feel coursing energy and power through me
Electromagnetic power
God's power
Freely given to all, always.

10:34 AM

Give to Caesar what is Caesars.
Give to God what is Gods. - Jesus
Pay your taxes
Tithe


One is part of your load
One is your gift to God

He taught me how to watch, fight and pray!

When Jesus washed my sins away!
I live rejoicing everyday!

10:50 AM

2/11/2011 10:52 AM

This is truly a race
Jesus was the first to win
We follow His example for

I forgot Pumpkin outside! Nathan just reminded me.
Remind.

Let everything that has breath
praise the Lord!

Breath
God is the giver of life
Breathe deeply
Rejoice!

Mind ful
Mind less
We must be mindful not mindless
Imagination is in mindful
Above all overcome absentmindedness.

I think we are blindfolded in life

At least for part of our race
The battle is for our mind.
You can hear satan from one side of your mind.
His voice is in there.
He is that close.

Remember, he is already defeated.

We ride a line
Angels/Demons
We choose our paths every moment of every day.
Choose life.
Always choose life.

The race is called the Human Race.
We all know this.
It has always been so.
Read the Bible as the guide to help you run your race.
At the end of the race we bring others with us, when our blindfolds have been lifted and
we
can see.

The beginning of your striving is now.
Practice does not make perfect, practicing perfectly leads you in the correct direction.

It stunned me when I read that Lao Tzu so wanted the I Ching to be so very clear.
Satan reigns in confusion
GRAY
Confusion is the color gray.
Twilight
Not Day
Not Night
Not dark enough to light
Not light enough to see clearly
Twilight
Gray
Confusion
ↂ

Focus on all that is good... - Bible

Paper from cabinet:
Day One
July First 2003

Choice

Without choice, there is no freedom.
Our destiny is ours if we exercise our choice through use of free will.
Patience, thought and timely deliberation make way for clear choices and paths which lead
to
enriching life experiences.

12:08 PM 2/11/2011
I remember writing it.

On this test we can ask for as much help as we need to finish.
12:12 PM God is faithful
He will be there for you
Our race
Our test
It is our time to shine!
Let the cream rise to the top.
Cream is smooth.
Cream is sweet.
The cream always rises to the top.
The prize, the first prize - 1000 years of peace here on earth with our King of Kings.
God is our stability
That part of us that will never change
The always, all ways
Jesus is our humanity
Perfect son of God - Jesus
The Holy Spirit flows through us completely all the time

We are the marriage between our mother and our father
We are in our mind
The one you are listening to hear is
that still small voice
We are then renewed with life
through the living water, Jesus
He is coming soon!
God
Man
Knife let out blood and water
nails triangulation
We will sing as one!

Breathe the breath from God!

12:46 PM
Rest
I'm going to put on my robe
Tell the story of how I made it over
Now
Rest
Sit down with Jesus
Sabbath
7th day rest
Put on my robe
Tell the story
How I made it over
I closed my eyes
I saw Jesus tell me, "I love you. There is nothing you can do about it." 12:53 PM
Melodic harmony rings in my ears
ↂ

Diary of an Awakening

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