The document provides tips for writing unmaintainable code, including using single-letter variable names, redundant and lying comments, non-descriptive function and variable names, inconsistent capitalization, reusing names and scope issues. The goal is to create code that is confusing and difficult to understand through satirical examples of bad coding practices.

1. How to write unmaintainable
code
10 minutes guide

2. sat·ire
/ˈsaˌtī(ə)r/
noun
the use of humor, irony, exaggeration, or ridicule to expose
and criticize people's stupidity or vices, particularly in the
context of contemporary politics and other topical issues.
synonyms: mockery, ridicule, derision, scorn,
caricature; More

4. Naming

5. Use _ and __ as
identifiers. If (_) __._()

6. Single letter
variable names
$a = 1;
$b = 2;
$c = $a + $b;They’re the best

7. Use comments // declare variable a
// and assign 1 to it
$a = 1;
Make sure they are redundant

8. Use comments
// in the following block
// we add two variables:
// named variable a and variable b
// both of them integers
// declare variable a
// and assign integer 1 to it
$a = 1;
// declare variable b
$b = 2;
// sum the two variables a and b
// declared and initialized above
// and assign the result to
// a new variable c
$c = $a + $b;
Never update tham, and also lie
a bit

9. A.C.R.O.N.Y.M.S.
var AM = new
ApplicationModel();
var PD = new
ProductDepartment();
var TM = new
TransactionManager();

10. A.C.R.O.N.Y.M.S.
AM.persist(
PD.resolveBy(
TM , 5));

11. A.C.R.O.N.Y.M.S.
RN
CM
TBR
Also great for module names

12. Use the wrong
ident
if (a)
if (b) x=y;
else x=z;Also never use {}

13. Reuse Names
Use scope hell
var text = 'outside';
function logIt(){
console.log(text);
var text = 'inside';
};
logIt();

14. Code names
must not match
screen names
In code it is name zip

15. Just straight-up
lie about what
things are/do isValid(x)
Every method does a little bit
more (or less) than its name
suggests.
Converts X to double
Stores X in the database
Sends X to analytics service
Also returns false if configuration
file is wrong

16. CapiTaliSaTion
Randomly capitalize the first
letter of a syllable in the middle
of a word.
DockAbleModeLessWindow
getTransAction
incRementCustOmerScore

17. Be abstract
PerformFunction
DoIt
Handle
Do_args_method
execute

18. Single letter
variable names a=(b+z)/c;
They’re really the best
(take 2 of n)

19. Names From
Mathematics
openParen =
(slash + asterix)
/equals;

20. Bedazzling
Names
marypoppins =
(superman+starship)
/god;

21. function stop() {
//hammer time
}