Dave Mcnaughton, John Harries, Siobhan Magee

1. GUIDE

3. HOW TO USE THIS TOOLBOX, WITH YOUR GUIDES
JOHN HARRIES AND SIOBHAN MAGGEE
• This toolbox consists of a series of cards.
• On each card there is a task, which invites you to explore the
everyday life of the place in which you find yourself.
• Pick a card at random and do the task. If the task does not
seem doable in the place where you find yourself, pick another
card.
• After you do the task, compose a short reflection on this
experience that you can share with others. Read more about
sharing your reflections below.
• You can repeat the same task several times, or draw another
card and do another task.
• THAT’S IT. IT COULDN’T BE SIMPLER! (….but maybe it is not
that simple…?)

4. BEING THERE
Some of the people who have been involved in putting this box
together call themselves anthropologists. Anthropologists are
interested in how people live their lives, how they get on with
each other, and how they organise their activities into patterns
of association, which we sometimes call society. They are also
interested in how people think and feel about their lives and
about the world around them. We sometimes call these practices,
thoughts, feelings, and ideas culture.
Anthropologists mostly agree that the best way to come to know
the lives of other people is by sharing in their lives. You don’t
know people (or for that matter tigers or sparrows) by staring at
them through the window of tour bus, as one would gawk at a big
cat in a zoo or a bird in cage. You don’t know them much (though
you do a little) by ordering food at tourist restaurant or browsing
racks of postcards in a souvenir shop.
You only truly come to know the lives of others by “being there”
and by being there we don’t simply mean being physically there,
in Prague, Kathmandu or Twillingate (look it up, it’s a nice place).
We mean being there as a kind of intimate dwelling through which
you come to feel and know something of life as it is lived beyond
the life to which you are familiar. This involves being with: being
with strangers and sharing a bit of their lives.
1.

5. As long as we arrive with the intention of leaving, we cannot “go
native”. What sets local people apart more than any custom, habit
of dress or thought, is their relationship with that locality. This is
where they make their life. We, in contrast, are passing through.
We may be lingering for longer than a normal tourist. But we are
visitors. Much of our life lies elsewhere. We know it. Local people
know it too. So even as you familiarise yourself and become
familiar to others, you will always be a stranger of sorts.
Being there does mean, however, letting go of some bit of the life
we knew “back there” in the place we left behind, and allowing
ourselves to be taken by the currents of life in the place we find
ourselves.
These currents consist of those myriad and modest transactions
called “everyday life”. As visitors, we may find ourselves drawn
to the peculiar and dramatic, to ornate buildings and colourful
festivals, the likes of which are listed in guidebooks written for
those who stay in a place a week or two. These places are well
worth seeing. But in being there and becoming familiar with a life
that is not our own, we should particularly attend to the ordinary,
to that often passes without notice, but in which so much of how
we inhabit and know the world is revealed.
EXPLORING EVERYDAY LIFE
Consider these cards as invitations to undertake a voyage of
discovery in the company of local people. It is one thing to lean
on a bar and watch the Montreal Canadians and Boston Bruins
play ice hockey on the television. It is quite another thing to turn
2.

6. to a person next to you and ask them who they are supporting
and, if you don’t know the nuances of ice hockey, to explain a
few things to you. Here you are not just coming to know a place,
but coming to know a place as it is inhabited by thinking, feeling
people. All places are composed by the ways that people render
their lives meaningful. These cards encourage you to work to find
out how local people compose their lives through small gestures
and everyday routines.
Once you get talking and get to know people, who knows where
your explorations will take you? Often they will take you nowhere.
You may chat with an elderly woman about the beauty of sunrise
while crossing the Bospheros, a conversation of smiles and
gestures and mutually intelligible words, she speaking no English
and you speaking no Turkish, and that will be that, you shared a
moment of togetherness and then go your separate ways. Other
times, however, one thing may lead to another. You find a park
where local people play chess. You ask if you can play a few
games. You have a good time. Win a few, lose a few. They buy
you a coffee. You buy them a coffee. And maybe this becomes
something of a routine for you and soon you are absorbed into
a small bit of city life that most visitors would pass by without a
glance.
MAKING A STORY
You might, we suggest, keep a diary of these adventures. You may
wish to take photographs or even short bits of film. You may wish
to capture the sounds of place or collect small souvenirs: a stained
3.

7. beer mat, a take-away menu or a stone from a beach. Some of
the cards have specific instructions as to how best make a record
of your adventure. Some do not. But always endeavour to make a
record of some kind.
This record is the story of your explorations of everyday life. It will
be a messy story, disjointed, broken-up, a thing of bits and pieces,
strange diversions, and deviations. That is ok. In fact that is better.
Everyday life is messy. Your encounter with the everyday life
beyond the familiar will be messy. In telling stories we are tempted
to tidy things up, to fill in the blanks, to explain things, but really
your story should be as true as possible to the experience of being
there, and so should allow for and reflect the nonlinear nature of
that experience.
In the first instance you will be writing a story for yourself but we
would also encourage you to write a story for others. You may
wish to share these with others explorers of everyday life and for
this reason we are providing a website which will allow you to
share your stories with each other. You may even wish to share
these stories with people you meet during your explorations. If
you meet a woman in a tea house in Nepal who takes the time to
show you how to make momos, little steamed dumpling filled with
meat and shredded vegetables, and you take her photograph
then some time later you cook momos yourself, following her
instructions, and serve these to your friends, perhaps consider
emailing or writing a letter to this woman giving her a copy of
the photograph and telling her of how you tried to cook from her
recipe and thanking her for spending some time with you.
These stories are important because they bind people together
and allow those who know nothing of the place you have been
and the people you have met to learn a little something of
somewhere and someone else. But more than anything else these
stories are important because in telling them you begin to reflect
on your experiences and, in reflecting, gain some understanding
4.

8. of other people and other places.
This understanding should not assume abstraction. In telling these
stories you should not seek to transform the specific experience
of your explorations into generalisations concerning another
“culture” or “society”. The risk is that we generalise too quickly
and easily and so produce stereotypes when really, ideally, we
should be trying to go beyond stereotypes and immerse ourselves
in the dense, messy everyday being of a place.
So in the first instance tell the story of everyday encounters, of
sounds, sights, smells and tastes, of real words spoken by real
people. And remember: you are part of this story. This is the
story of your experience, your adventures and how, in these
adventures, you cultivate a growing awareness of the life of the
place you have chosen to explore. Tell that story in whatever way
seem right and works for you and is true to that experience.
MINDFUL REFLEXIVITY (OR REFLEXIVE MINDFULNESS)
In undertaking these explorations by following the instructions
on these cards you will be cultivating an attitude of MINDFUL
REFLEXIVITY (or maybe REFLEXIVE MINDFULNESS).
While undertaking your explorations of everyday life you should
be wide-awake to the present. This may seem obvious, but we
are usually oblivious to most of what it going on around us. This
5.

9. is, in part, because what is going around us is familiar and so we
don’t need to pay it much heed. This is also because we are often
passing through the present towards the future and so even as we
inhabit there here and now we are thinking towards where we are
going next.
Say you stop at a shop to buy a soft drink and bag of crisps.
Usually you will not think too much about this fleeting transaction.
You will not think about how the crisps are arrayed on shelves, or
how the woman at the cash register handles money, or the small
gestures and words of politeness that accompany the exchange of
coins for salty snacks. You will be think about getting your snacks
and moving on. A MINDFUL explorer of the everyday, however, is
alert to these very gestures that usually would pass without notice.
They are not just thinking about where they are heading next.
They are thinking about where they are now and, in so doing, a
whole density of detail comes into view.
Being mindful is not easy. But when you pull out one of these cards
that invite you to undertake an adventure into the everyday, we
suggest that you adopt this attitude. How do you do this? Well,
one thing you can do is SLOW DOWN. Usually we rush by things,
hurry towards whatever comes next. If you slow down then you
will find yourself seeing and hearing more. This means literally
slowing down. Walk more slowly. Sit on a bench and watch the
world go by. Take your time with people. Another thing you can
do is to ELIMINATE DISTRACTION. We carry stuff with us to
facilitate distraction: mobile phones, tablets, newspapers, and
novels. That is fine, but when undertaking your explorations of the
everyday get rid of all these distractions. Don’t be texting, surfing
the internet, updating twitter or any of that stuff. Be wholly alert to
the goings on in your surroundings.
The other word is REFLEXIVITY. By this we simply mean that you
should create a space where you can reflect on your mindful
6.

10. experiences of being amongst and talking with other people.
This means creating a space where you can actually do a bit of
quiet and focussed thinking about your adventures. Again, this
can often quite literally be a matter of finding a space to do this.
Fashioning some kind of narrative from your experiences is one
of the best ways of making such a space. By writing things down,
by drawing a map, by looking through photographs, by pulling
a souvenir from your pocket, you being to think about what
happened, about what you learned, about what it may mean,
about how others relate to you and how you relate to others.
Maybe it is only ten minutes, maybe you will want to write for
an hour, but if you give yourself a bit of time to think about what
has happened then you will find that you begin to learn from that
experience.
In a sense this attitude of mindful reflexivity is easier to adopt
when you are visiting a faraway place where everything, even
the slightest everyday transaction, is bewildering. Without any
familiarity we naturally adopt a mindful attitude if only because
we want to figure out how things work and how to get along
(and in so doing make things familiar). However, one the magical
things about adopting a technique of MINDFUL REFLECTIVITY
(or REFLEXIVE MINDFULNESS) is that you can explore the
everyday even in familiar places. Say you walk down the same
street everyday from where you live to where you work and study.
Usually we hurry on past shops and the people who fall behind
us as we rush towards wherever we are going. But try slowing
yourself down, orienting yourself towards the present, eliminating
any distractions and then finding the time to reflect on your
experiences and you will maybe be amazed how strange and
wonderful the familiar can be.
The moral is that you do not have to go far to be an explorer of
everyday life. The wonderful strangeness of the mundane is all
around you. You just need to find it.
7.

11. GETTING ON WITH PEOPLE AND STAYING SAFE
(SOME RULES OF ENGAGEMENT)
When using these cards we need to think about a few rules that
should ensure, as much as possible, that this is a safe and happy
experience.
Some of these may seem a little contradictory, but then much of
the work of getting to know the lives of others is about walking
a thin line between being forward (if you didn’t push yourself
forward you would never learn anything) and being respectful of
other people’s boundaries.
1. Attend to local codes of politeness and try to adopt them as
much as possible. Be mindful and observant of the manners that
seem to govern social conduct. Conform to this etiquette as much
as possible, but understand that people are (usually) forgiving of
strangers because they realize that they may be ignorant of local
habits. If you make a gross error of etiquette don’t freak out –
apologise, learn, and move on.
2. Learn as much of the local language as you can and use
it. Ask people to teach you words and phrases (it is often an easy
way of starting a conversation). Use that language, especially
greetings and words of politeness. Don’t be worried if you make
mistakes and people point out these mistakes to you (maybe
while laughing). No one expects a stranger to be fluent in their
language, and it is much better that you show a willingness to try
8.

12. than to simply assume that all transactions should begin and end
in your language.
3. Give compliments. This helps you get on with people and
also invites conversation. Don’t give exceptionally personal
compliments. To tell a stranger that you particularly admire the
grace with which they walk may be true but will likely be taken as
overfamiliar. But if you are served a meal and you find it delicious
then say that effusively. It may feel strange, but it will almost
always be appreciated and people may well warm to you that
little bit more.
4. Reciprocity is important. Social life is composed of
reciprocal gestures. If someone says hello to you in the street
you should say hello back. To do otherwise would be rude. This
is how reciprocity works. Cultural codes of reciprocity can be
complex and you should be attentive to these, while expecting
to make mistakes. Generally, however, if someone shows you
a small kindness think about a way you can repay that small
kindness in such a way that it does not seem to be a payment (this
is a different kind of transaction). Similarly, be ready to receive
small kindnesses with grace and thankfulness and, conversely, be
generous in performing small acts of kindness.
5. Be cheerfully open to conversation and spending time with
people. This enquiry into the everyday only works if you are
willing to talk with people and to talk with people more than you
maybe normally would. In our everyday life we may see a cat
curled up in basket in a local cafe and say to ourselves, “what
a cute cat”, and order a coffee and move on. An explorer of
everyday life would speak to the man working in the cafe and
ask say “what a lovely cat, does it belong to you?” and if he says
yes, then ask more questions (“what is his name?”, “how old is
he?” etc.). This actually requires some bravery. Not all of us are
comfortable initiating conversations with strangers, but you will
9.

13. need to overcome this inhibition and create some conversations.
But in so doing ...
6. Respect people’s boundaries (private stuff is private). This
varies from culture to culture, but generally speaking there is stuff
that is private and that people do not wish to share with people
that they do not know well. Generally speaking, this private stuff
includes issues concerning the complex and intimate affairs of
close family, details about money and property and deep and
complex feelings about life and love. Certainly it also includes any
activities that anyone may be engaged in that could be considered
“illegal” or “immoral”. this stuff is none of your business and,
until you get to know someone well and they invite you into
conversation about more private things, you should not inquire
into these areas. If you do inquire into an aspect of someone’s
life and they indicate they are not comfortable with that line of
enquiry, move on to another, safer, topic.
7. Serious stuff is serious and should be talked about seriously.
Again this varies from place to place and, as part of learning
codes of politeness, you should become sensitive to what issues
are taken seriously by local people. Generally, however, local
politics are a serious business, deeply held religious conviction is a
serious business, matters of national pride are a serious business,
sometimes even football can be a serious business. If you invite
or find yourself drawn into conversation about these matters
then discuss these thoughtfully and seriously. Listen carefully.
Do not make glib or judgemental statements. If people ask for
your thoughts or opinions on these matters then be true to your
thoughts and opinions. Do not pretend to believe in God if you
are an atheist, even if you are speaking to a believer. But be
gentle, considerate and moderate in stating your thoughts and
opinions.
8. Be open about yourself (but, again, private stuff is private).
10.

14. In sharing time with people and coming to know a little bit of their
lives you should be ready to be open about yourself and your
own thoughts and feelings. This is part of reciprocity. The fact of
the matter is that people are likely to be interested in you, just as
you are interested in other people and if this is to be a real and
human encounter then you should be present as a real human
being. However, just as the private business of other people is
private, so you should not feel that you need to be forthcoming
about those aspects of your life they you do not wish to share with
any but those who know you best. If someone enquires about the
more intimate details of your life then, again, you should discretely
move the conversation on to easier topics.
9. If things don’t seem right, leave (and make sure you have
an exit strategy). People are generally good and considerate and
wish no harm on others, but very rarely you may find yourself
feeling uncomfortable and a bit threatened by a situation. Listen
to those feelings and then get out of that situation. If at all possible
do so discretely and gently and amicably. You may, of course,
be entirely wrong, but better safe than sorry, and anyway these
explorations are for fun and enlightenment and there is no point
carrying on if you are getting upset or fearful
.
Finally, more than anything enjoy yourself. Other people are
wonderful, mysterious, and sometimes frustrating. You can
discover the richness of life in the simplest of encounters if you
enter these encounters mindfully and are willing to reflect. Get out
there. Leave the beaten track, even if this leaving is just a matter
of slowing your step and looking around. Stop and talk with
people. Discover the hum of being around you. It is good fun.
11.

15. THIS TOOLKIT WAS BROUGHT TO YOU BY...
Johanna Holtan, EUSA Global | Institute for Academic Development
John Harries, Social Anthropology
Lorena Georgiadou, Counselling & Psychotherapy
Areti Manataki, Informatics
Alette Willis, Counselling & Psychotherapy
Siobhan Magee, Social Anthropology
Designed by David McNaughton, www.davidmcnaughton.net
12.