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How to Improve
Communication with
Spouse
A guide by Arjun & Arya
Intro
Often when couples fight, it will be more or less
about money, sex, kids, in-laws, or housework. If
you are not having any fights, then there could be
something wrong with your relationship. If you
want to be happy, always think about how you
can improve communication with spouse. I am
happily married for seven years, and below are
the Do’s and Don’ts to be followed in any
relationship.
1. The Do’s
➔ 1) Express your appreciation
When your spouse becomes part of
your life, we tend to take things for
granted. Eventually, we downplay
when everything is right and opens
our mouth only to point out what
was wrong.
If you don’t know how to
appreciate, learn the skill
otherwise, do yourself a favor, and
keep mum.
➔ 2) Spend time together
Touch is a fundamental part of
human existence, so caress, laugh,
cuddle, and spend quality time
together.
➔ 3) Resolve your conflicts
respectively
Conflicts are inevitable, and the way
you handle it could make or break
your relationship. Make sure both the
spouses have heard the other side
and their perspective. If temper
flares, take a break but resolve it
before going to bed.
➔ 4) Learn to apologize
I don’t understand how the situation
escalated, but I will apologize if I have
hurt your feelings. For this not to
happen again, will you tell me where I
went wrong? And I might be able to tell
you why I said what I did this time.
The above line is a great conversation
starter, and it has saved my ass quite a
lot of time.
➔ 5) Discuss finances
Discuss your expenses and your
financial goals. You can’t expect the
other person to act in a certain way
without you discussing your situation.
➔ 6) Small things matter
Small things like going out for a walk
together, or helping to do the dishes
take you a long way than a once a
year trip to some tropical paradise.
Remember it is this small
incremental happiness that keeps
you going the other 51 weeks when
you are not in the so-called tropical
paradise
➔ 7) Be honest, but learn when to keep
your thoughts to yourself
Be honest, but don’t be stupid
enough and tell out what exactly is
in your mind. If you don’t, you will
eventually learn it the hard way
➔ 8) Build a good relationship with
your in-laws
Your spouse didn’t come out of thin
air. They had their own family before
deciding to start a family with you.
Respect the feelings they have
towards their parents and siblings. If
you can maintain a good relationship
with your in-laws and your life will
become so much easier.
9) Support your spouse to reach
their goals
Do not try to mold your spouse to
be what you want them to be.
Instead, encourage and push them
towards their goals. Goals give us a
purpose, and we will be happier
when we achieve them.
When your spouse is happy you will be
happy
1. The Dont’s
➔ 1) Do not play the blame game
Stop playing the blame game.
“You did this…”
“You made me feel…”
When you point fingers, it makes the
other person defensive instead,
approach with I statements
When you proceed vulnerably, it
reduces the defensiveness of your
spouse. Only then will you be able to
get through to them.
➔ 2) Do not take them for granted
No matter how you sugar coat it, both
men and women are fundamentally
different. From time to time switch
roles to understand each other’s
perspective that way you will not take
your partner for granted
➔ 3) Don’t be sneaky
If you dig deep enough, you are going
to find something you do not like. The
fundamental building block for every
relationship is trust. You have to trust
that even when you are not there, your
partner is respecting you
➔ 4) Do not make your life revolve around
your kids
Whether you like it or not, kids grow up.
Give them proper guidance and teach
them common sense, but in no way
should your life revolve around them
because if you do, you will miss out on a
lot of things that are important to you.
➔ 5) Do not rely on your partner for your
happiness
If you solely rely on your partner for
your happiness, it will become a burden
to them. You have your own life, live it
well.
➔ 6) Do not break confidentiality
Your partner shares their secret
because they trust you, do not
throw away that trust by breaking
confidentiality.
➔ 7) Do not criticize in public
Do not make the mistake of
criticizing when there is a third ear.
Provide critical feedback only
where there is no one is around.
➔ 8) Be wary about what you say and
act when you are fighting
No matter how angry or
dissatisfied you are, some things
should never be brought into your
fight, or it may leave permanent
scars on your relationship.
These are the tips to Improve
Communication with Spouse
Thank You!!
Related stories from @The
Lessons Guy
● How to improve work life
balance
● How to gain more confidence

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How to Improve Communication with Spouse

  • 1. How to Improve Communication with Spouse A guide by Arjun & Arya
  • 2. Intro Often when couples fight, it will be more or less about money, sex, kids, in-laws, or housework. If you are not having any fights, then there could be something wrong with your relationship. If you want to be happy, always think about how you can improve communication with spouse. I am happily married for seven years, and below are the Do’s and Don’ts to be followed in any relationship.
  • 3. 1. The Do’s ➔ 1) Express your appreciation When your spouse becomes part of your life, we tend to take things for granted. Eventually, we downplay when everything is right and opens our mouth only to point out what was wrong. If you don’t know how to appreciate, learn the skill otherwise, do yourself a favor, and keep mum.
  • 4. ➔ 2) Spend time together Touch is a fundamental part of human existence, so caress, laugh, cuddle, and spend quality time together. ➔ 3) Resolve your conflicts respectively Conflicts are inevitable, and the way you handle it could make or break your relationship. Make sure both the spouses have heard the other side and their perspective. If temper flares, take a break but resolve it before going to bed.
  • 5. ➔ 4) Learn to apologize I don’t understand how the situation escalated, but I will apologize if I have hurt your feelings. For this not to happen again, will you tell me where I went wrong? And I might be able to tell you why I said what I did this time. The above line is a great conversation starter, and it has saved my ass quite a lot of time. ➔ 5) Discuss finances Discuss your expenses and your financial goals. You can’t expect the other person to act in a certain way without you discussing your situation.
  • 6. ➔ 6) Small things matter Small things like going out for a walk together, or helping to do the dishes take you a long way than a once a year trip to some tropical paradise. Remember it is this small incremental happiness that keeps you going the other 51 weeks when you are not in the so-called tropical paradise ➔ 7) Be honest, but learn when to keep your thoughts to yourself
  • 7. Be honest, but don’t be stupid enough and tell out what exactly is in your mind. If you don’t, you will eventually learn it the hard way ➔ 8) Build a good relationship with your in-laws Your spouse didn’t come out of thin air. They had their own family before deciding to start a family with you. Respect the feelings they have towards their parents and siblings. If you can maintain a good relationship with your in-laws and your life will become so much easier.
  • 8. 9) Support your spouse to reach their goals Do not try to mold your spouse to be what you want them to be. Instead, encourage and push them towards their goals. Goals give us a purpose, and we will be happier when we achieve them. When your spouse is happy you will be happy
  • 9. 1. The Dont’s ➔ 1) Do not play the blame game Stop playing the blame game. “You did this…” “You made me feel…” When you point fingers, it makes the other person defensive instead, approach with I statements When you proceed vulnerably, it reduces the defensiveness of your spouse. Only then will you be able to get through to them.
  • 10. ➔ 2) Do not take them for granted No matter how you sugar coat it, both men and women are fundamentally different. From time to time switch roles to understand each other’s perspective that way you will not take your partner for granted ➔ 3) Don’t be sneaky If you dig deep enough, you are going to find something you do not like. The fundamental building block for every relationship is trust. You have to trust that even when you are not there, your partner is respecting you
  • 11. ➔ 4) Do not make your life revolve around your kids Whether you like it or not, kids grow up. Give them proper guidance and teach them common sense, but in no way should your life revolve around them because if you do, you will miss out on a lot of things that are important to you. ➔ 5) Do not rely on your partner for your happiness If you solely rely on your partner for your happiness, it will become a burden to them. You have your own life, live it well.
  • 12. ➔ 6) Do not break confidentiality Your partner shares their secret because they trust you, do not throw away that trust by breaking confidentiality. ➔ 7) Do not criticize in public Do not make the mistake of criticizing when there is a third ear. Provide critical feedback only where there is no one is around.
  • 13. ➔ 8) Be wary about what you say and act when you are fighting No matter how angry or dissatisfied you are, some things should never be brought into your fight, or it may leave permanent scars on your relationship.
  • 14. These are the tips to Improve Communication with Spouse Thank You!! Related stories from @The Lessons Guy ● How to improve work life balance ● How to gain more confidence