How to be a Hostage Negotiator, Close More Marketing Deals and Deal with Problem Clients - Trusted Conf
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This document provides tips on how to use hostage negotiation skills in marketing deals and with problem clients. It discusses mirroring counterparts' words and actions to get them to feel heard and come to solutions themselves. Specific techniques include using questions to understand others' perspectives, labeling emotions without judgment, and creating a sense of shared understanding and control through follow up questions. An example demonstrates these skills by acknowledging challenges, paraphrasing to show active listening, and finding common ground to open potential solutions.
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How to be a Hostage Negotiator, Close More Marketing Deals and Deal with Problem Clients - Trusted Conf
- 1. 1 How to be a hostage negotiator, close more marketing deals and deal with problem clients Using skills proven by years of successful FBI hostage negotiation Jack Booth
- 2. 2 2 Foreword ● Account Manager at In Marketing We Trust ● Problem Solver ● Paid Media Strategist ● Hawaiian Shirt Connoisseur ● Hostage Negotiator
- 3. 3 www.inmarketingwetrust.com.au 3 What do you think of when you hear “Hostage Negotiator” CURRENT TITLE TITLE TITLE TITLE TITLE TITLE TITLE
- 4. 4 www.inmarketingwetrust.com.au 4 What do you think of when you hear “Hostage Negotiator” CURRENT TITLE TITLE TITLE TITLE TITLE TITLE TITLE
- 5. 5 www.inmarketingwetrust.com.au 5 What do you think of when you hear “Hostage Negotiator” CURRENT TITLE TITLE TITLE TITLE TITLE TITLE TITLE
- 6. 6 www.inmarketingwetrust.com.au 6 What do you think of when you hear “Hostage Negotiator” CURRENT TITLE TITLE TITLE TITLE TITLE TITLE TITLE
- 7. 7 7 “A successful negotiator has to get everything they ask for, without giving anything back of substance, and do so in a way that leaves your counterpart feeling as if they have a great relationship” - Chris Voss
- 8. 8 www.inmarketingwetrust.com.au 8 These ideas aren’t mine! CURRENT TITLE TITLE TITLE TITLE TITLE TITLE TITLE ● Ex-FBI Lead International kidnapping negotiator (only ever one) ● Harvard Business school Lecturer on Negotiation ● Author - “Never Split the Difference” - How-to book ● Which is what you’ll learn today!
- 9. 9 www.inmarketingwetrust.com.au 9 The New Rules CURRENT TITLE TITLE TITLE TITLE TITLE TITLE TITLE ● 1971; George Giffe Jr - Aircraft hijacker killed 2 hostages, his wife, the pilot and himself when the FBI lost patience and shot out the fuel tank. Leaving him no choice but to go kamikaze.
- 10. 10 www.inmarketingwetrust.com.au 10 The New Rules CURRENT TITLE TITLE TITLE TITLE TITLE TITLE TITLE ● 1993; David Koresh - Cult leader of Branch Davidian, believed he was the Messiah - had a 51 day negotiation standoff with the FBI which after negotiations failed ended in 51 members and himself burning themselves alive, at his request.
- 11. 11 www.inmarketingwetrust.com.au 11 CURRENT TITLE TITLE TITLE TITLE TITLE TITLE TITLE The New Rules
- 12. 12 www.inmarketingwetrust.com.au 12 CURRENT TITLE TITLE TITLE TITLE TITLE TITLE TITLE The New Rules - We are all irrational
- 13. 13 13 “Negotiate in their world. Persuasion is not about how bright or smooth or forceful you are. It’s about the other party convincing themselves that the solution you want is their own idea. So don’t beat them with logic or brute force. Ask them questions that open paths to your goals. It’s not about you.” - Chris Voss
- 14. 14 www.inmarketingwetrust.com.au Be a Mirror - The Late night FM DJ voice CURRENT TITLE TITLE TITLE TITLE TITLE TITLE TITLE
- 15. 15 www.inmarketingwetrust.com.au Be a Mirror - The playful/positive voice CURRENT TITLE TITLE TITLE TITLE TITLE TITLE TITLE
- 16. 16 www.inmarketingwetrust.com.au Be a Mirror - The Authoritative voice CURRENT TITLE TITLE TITLE TITLE TITLE TITLE TITLE
- 17. 17 www.inmarketingwetrust.com.au Be a Mirror CURRENT TITLE TITLE TITLE TITLE TITLE TITLE TITLE
- 18. 18 www.inmarketingwetrust.com.au Be a Mirror CURRENT TITLE TITLE TITLE TITLE TITLE TITLE TITLE Four steps to confronting someone and getting your way without seeming like you’re confronting them: ● Use the Late Night FM DJ voice ● Start with “I’m Sorry” ● Mirror your counterpart’s words and actions ● Be silent. Wait for the response ● Repeat
- 19. 19 19 “Mirrors are the closest thing for negotiators to a jedi mind trick. Repeat the last three words of what someone says. We fear what’s different and are drawn to what's similar. Mirroring is the art of insinuating similarity, which facilitates bonding, encourages empathy, keeps people talking allowing time to regroup and listen for more details of their strategy” - Chris Voss - Never split the difference
- 20. 20 www.inmarketingwetrust.com.au 20 Don’t feel their pain - Label It - Tactical Empathy CURRENT TITLE TITLE TITLE TITLE TITLE TITLE TITLE
- 21. 21 www.inmarketingwetrust.com.au 21 Don’t feel their pain - Label It - Labeling CURRENT TITLE TITLE TITLE TITLE TITLE TITLE TITLE “You don’t need to feel that way, the entire team just wants to help out and arguing about it, isn’t worth the energy.” Bad response: Very judgemental. Tells the subject how not to feel, minimizing and ignoring their feelings that are apart of who they are.
- 22. 22 www.inmarketingwetrust.com.au 22 Don’t feel their pain - Label It - Labeling CURRENT TITLE TITLE TITLE TITLE TITLE TITLE TITLE “You seem pretty discouraged about the design of the homepage being changed, it doesn’t seem fair with the amount of work you’ve put in” Good response: It identifies the hurt that underlies the anger and adds the idea of justice, this can lead to the counterpart beginning to think about other ways of getting justice.
- 23. 23 www.inmarketingwetrust.com.au Beware of “Yes” - Master “No” CURRENT TITLE TITLE TITLE TITLE TITLE TITLE TITLE NO I am not yet ready to agree You make me feel uncomfortable I don’t understand I’d prefer talking to someone else I need more information I can’t afford it
- 24. 24 www.inmarketingwetrust.com.au Beware of “Yes” - Master “No” CURRENT TITLE TITLE TITLE TITLE TITLE TITLE TITLE YES YES YES Counterfeit Confirmation Commitment Fake Yes to get because party feels afraid to say “No” Normal yes to a black and white situation A real Yes with value attached
- 25. 25 www.inmarketingwetrust.com.au 25 The Two Words That Immediately Transform any Negotiation CURRENT TITLE TITLE TITLE TITLE TITLE TITLE TITLE “That’s Right” You understand me I trust you I feel like you are a good fit I like talking to you I think this deal makes sense I feel you can deliver what I want
- 26. 26 www.inmarketingwetrust.com.au 26 The Two Words That Immediately Transform any Negotiation CURRENT TITLE TITLE TITLE TITLE TITLE TITLE TITLE “It seems like you would push this deal through if you had assurance that the results would be provided and you’d get a return on your investment” “That’s Right” Label their own words Your assumption Paraphrasing their requests
- 27. 27 www.inmarketingwetrust.com.au Bend Their Reality CURRENT TITLE TITLE TITLE TITLE TITLE TITLE TITLE “FAIR” A great negotiator needs to be seen as fair But fair is projection of what you assume the other to think You need to create the rules of what others think is fair
- 28. 28 www.inmarketingwetrust.com.au 28 Bend Their Reality CURRENT TITLE TITLE TITLE TITLE TITLE TITLE TITLE Anchor Emotions Don’t go 1st Establish a Range Sweeten with gifts “I got a lousy proposition for you” “Why don’t we start with what you think is fair?” “At companies like “X” people are normally paid between 130k - 160k” “I can’t go higher but I can throw in GOT season 6 box set”
- 29. 29 www.inmarketingwetrust.com.au 29 Create the Illusion of Control CURRENT TITLE TITLE TITLE TITLE TITLE TITLE TITLE ● How am I supposed to do that? ● How can I help make this better for us? ● How would you like me to proceed? ● How can we solve this problem? ● What about this is important to you? ● What is it that brought us to this situation? ● What’s the objective? ● What are we trying to accomplish here? ● What can we do to solve this problem? ● Why would you ever change from the way you’ve always done things, and try my approach? ● Why would you ever do business with me? Your existing provider seems great. The Calibrated Question HOW WHAT WHY Shows you want what they want but need their intelligence to solve the problem.
- 30. 30 30 Time for a real world example...
- 31. 31 www.inmarketingwetrust.com.au CURRENT TITLE TITLE TITLE TITLE TITLE TITLE TITLE Real Example - Your flight was cancelled because of bad weather and you have to get to Texas for a deal signing that is 100% time sensitive. You get to the airport to realise alot of angry people have also been cancelled, one of those angry people is shouting at the check-in lady in the queue before you arrive. ● You: “Hi, Wendy, i’m Ryan. It seems like they were pretty upset”
- 32. 32 www.inmarketingwetrust.com.au CURRENT TITLE TITLE TITLE TITLE TITLE TITLE TITLE ● Wendy: “Yeh, we’ve had a fair amount of delays because of the weather” ● You: “The weather?”
- 33. 33 www.inmarketingwetrust.com.au CURRENT TITLE TITLE TITLE TITLE TITLE TITLE TITLE ● You: “It seems like it’s been a hectic day” ● Wendy: “There’ve been a lot of irate customers you know? I mean i get it, even though i don’t like to be yelled at. A lot of people are trying to get to Austin for the big game” ● You: “the big game?” ● Wendy: “UT is playing Ole Miss football and every flight into Austin has been booked solid” ● You: “Booked solid?”
- 34. 34 www.inmarketingwetrust.com.au CURRENT TITLE TITLE TITLE TITLE TITLE TITLE TITLE ● Wendy: “Yeah all through the weekend. Though who knows how many people will make the flights. The weather’s probably going to reroute a lot of people to a lot of different places”
- 35. 35 www.inmarketingwetrust.com.au CURRENT TITLE TITLE TITLE TITLE TITLE TITLE TITLE You: “Well it seems you’ve been handling the rough day pretty well, I was also affected by the weather delays and missed my connecting flight. It seems like this flight is likely booked solid, but with what you said, maybe someone affected by the weather might miss this connection. Is there any possibility a seat will open?” Labeling Paraphrasing Mirror
Editor's Notes
- Being a hostage negotiator can mean many things. We’ve got the usual suspects The lone madman bent on word domination
- We’ve got Paul Hewett if he ever makes another comparison between me and Alex from love island
- We’ve got the terrorists with their impossible to grant ransom demands
- But an example we often wouldn’t think of is the businessman holding his employees, vendors, clients and partners hostage - or in other words a business man who can get the deal he wants no matter what the other side desires.
- At the end of the day that’s exactly what a hostage negotiator does. “A successful negotiator has to get everything they ask for, without giving anything back of substance, and do so in a way that leaves your counterpart feeling as if they have a great relationship” Is that ability something that could be useful to you? Isn’t this what we all as marketers attempt to do, whether it be directly to consumers in the form of facebook ads or indirectly in the form of meta-descriptions and titles. But negotiation is not just limited to those macro moments that are part of our job day to day. The need to be a good negotiator appears much more frequently in the micro moments: Asking a client for additional budget Navigating the murky waters of external blockers and unnecessary revisions Telling the client they’re wrong without sounding offensive Communicating your revisions to vendors without making them seem wrong Getting a link from a prominent blog Putting the kids to bed on time Getting your better half to cook dinner because you’ve had a long day These situations exist in our daily life so frequently that we probably don’t offer them much thought when they pass by. But most of life you’ll be negotiating in some way or another. So if we can all except that very broad assumption…
- we can move on and meet your real teacher. As much as i’d love to claim responsibility for these ideas, they ain’t mine. These tips and tricks you’re about to learn aren’t just something i’ve thought up looking at myself in a mirror with a plastic james bond gun and an eye patch… although that has helped. No, they are from 30 years of experience in hostage negotiating for the FBI. Meet Chris Voss. Ex-FBI Lead International kidnapping negotiator (there is only ever one at any time) Harvard Business school Lecturer on Negotiation After he finished up his crisis negotiation he went to teach those skills at harvard finding that the same principles actually apply to the boardroom as much as the war room. Author - “Never Split the Difference” - which is a fantastic How-to book on negotiation And is also the prompt for the training today, everything Chris Voss experienced in 30 years as a hostage negotiator is condensed into business ready format, with examples, real world stories of how the techniques worked in crisis situations, as well as examples of how his students have applied these techniques to among many things: Get an upgrade on an airplane Negotiate a vendor’s price down to correct a project that was heading into the black And Get out of much meaningless work form Bosses too quick to dish out pointless tasks All this and more is what I hope you will take away from this session today, sound good?
- Negotiation begins with the simple premise that humans want to be accepted and understood. Choosing to be an active listener is the simplest, yet most effective concession we can make to get there. By being active listeners, we demonstrate empathy and show a sincere desire to better understand what the other side would possibly experience. It seems simple but it has taken a long time to get to this understanding. In 1971 in one of the only times the FBI has been sued by victims and lost because of negligence, the demands of George Jiffe Jr weren’t met when he hijacked an airoplane and seeing no way out he murdered 2 hostages, the pilot his wife and then killed himself.
- Then again in 1993 the infamous cult leader David Koresh barricaded himself and more 51 cult members into a building in texas and held a 51 day standoff with FBI officials which ended in Koresh setting the building alight and burning all the members to the ground. 20 of which were children. At this time the FBI was using a my way or the highway negotiating technique where they would try to find WIN-WIN situations appealing to the rational side of the brain. But how do you appeal to the rationality of someone who thinks they are the messiah?
- Alot of the thought of the day was based around this book, Getting to Yes which advocated the use of objective criteria and rational bargain making.
- However new thought began to come into play when Daniel Kahneman won the nobel prize in economics in 2002. He proved that the human mind is far from rational. IN fact we have 2 brains the emotional mind and the rational mind and it is the emotional mind that is the faster of the 2, it is the emotional mind that actually dictates most of our decision making and the rational mind is only used for more complex problems that can be thought about for longer. So in other words appealing to the rational mind without first diffusing or even addressing the emotional in a negotiation would always end in failure. This was the beginning of a new style of negotiation for the FBI. To put it simply it became a method of active listening; this involves techniques to keep the counterpart talking while very actively picking up all cues in body language, tone of voice and content to find the information that would assist you in showing you TRULY understand your counterpart. Most time when that happens in a negotiation a counterpart will almost immediately come around to your point of view.
- A good negotiator knows that they need to always be ready for surprises. A great negotiator, on the other hand, uses a specific set of skills to reveal the surprises they are certain to exist. Great negotiators question assumptions and are thus open to all possibilities and are more intellectually agile to fluid situations. People who view negotiation as a battle of arguments become overwhelmed by the voices in their head. But the truth is, negotiation isn’t a battle; it is an act of discovery. The objective is to uncover as much information as is available. To conquer the voices in your head, make your sole focus the other party and what they have to say. You need to understand what the other party actually needs and get them feeling safe enough to talk about what they really want. This involves listening to the other party, validating their concerns and emotions, building trust and creating a safety net that allows for real conversations. Trying to speed up the negotiation process is a mistake that many negotiators make. The problem with this is that, if you’re in too much of a hurry, it can make the other party feel like they’re not being heard, and you risk to undermine the rapport and trust that you’ve tried to build. So the first tips we’ve gonna get into are, the three types of voices available to negotiators:
- The late-night FM DJ voice: Basically, keep it calm and slow. Use this selectively to make a point. When done properly, the late-night FM DJ voice has the power to create an aura of authority and trust without making the other party defensive.
- The playful/positive voice: This should be your default voice. It’s the voice of an easygoing, good-natured person. Your attitude is light and encouraging.
- The direct/assertive voice: This should be used as rarely as possible because this has the potential to create pushback. When people are in a positive frame of mind, they actually become up to 30% more intelligent thereby being more likely to think quickly and to collaborate to solve a problem. Positivity creates mental agility in both you as well as the other party.
- Mirroring works magic. Repeat the last three words (or the critical one to three words) of what someone has just said then remain silent, let your counterpart expand on what they’ve said, generally we fear what is different and find comfort in similarity. So using mirroring encourages the other party to empathize and bond with you, keep people talking, buy your party some time, to eventually allow them to reveal their own strategy. There was a study by psychologist Richard Wiseman on two groups of waiters concluded that the average tip of the waiters who mirrored people’s orders was 70 percent more than of those who used positive reinforcement. The mere act of repeating someone’s order back to them increased the likelihood of a tip. The five-step process according to Chris voss to own any negotiation process is:
- Use the late-night FM DJ voice; Start with phrases like, “I’m sorry…”; Mirror; Use silence effectively; and Repeat.
- Mirrors are the closest thing for negotiators to a jedi mind trick. Repeat the last three words of what someone says. We fear what’s different and are drawn to what's similar. Mirroring is the art of insinuating similarity, which facilitates bonding, encourages empathy, keeps people talking allowing time to regroup and listen for more details of their strategy”
- Tactical empathy is understanding the feelings and mindset of the other party at the moment and also hearing what is behind those feelings so that you can increase your influence in all the moments that follow. When you closely observe a person’s face, gestures, and tone of voice, your brain begins to align with theirs in a process called neural resonance, and that gives you a window into what they think and feel.
- Labeling is a way of validating someone’s emotion by acknowledging it. The first step to labeling is detecting the other party’s emotional state. The trick to spotting feelings is to pay close attention to changes people undergo when they respond to external events. And more often than not, in a negotiation scenario, these external events are your words. Once you’ve spotted an emotion you want to highlight, the next step is to label it aloud. Labels can be phrased as statements or questions. But they almost always begin with the following phrases: “It seems like…” “It looks like…” “It sounds like…” People’s emotions have two levels. A “presenting” behavior, which is the part above the surface that everyone can see and hear; and the “underlying” feeling which is the motivation behind the behavior. Great negotiators address those underlying emotions by labeling. Labeling negatives diffuse them, and labeling positives reinforce them. Labeling helps de-escalate situations because it acknowledges the other party’s feelings rather than continuing to act them out. The golden rule is to understand that you’re dealing with a human who wants to be appreciated and understood. Labels can help reinforce positive perceptions and dynamics. Here is an example of a situation where a label could have been used but wasn’t. Telling the subject how to feel and projecting your own assessment of how one should behave onto the subject. This burns bridges instead of builds them.
- Here is what you could have said that would diffuse the situation and get the subject round to your side and set them off thinking about solutions instead of vengeance and feeling put out. “You seem pretty discouraged about the design of the homepage being changed, it doesn’t seem fair with the amount of work you’ve put in” this identifies the hurt that underlies the anger and adds the idea of justice, this can lead to the counterpart beginning to think about other ways of getting justice.
- Pushing for a hard “Yes” doesn’t get you any closer to a victory. It only pisses off the other party. Contrary to popular belief, “No” is the start of the negotiation, not the end of it. In a negotiation scenario, “No” provides a great opportunity for you and the other party to clarify what you really want by eliminating what you don’t want. “No” can often mean: I am not yet ready to agree; You make me feel uncomfortable; I don’t understand; I can’t afford it; I need more information; I’d prefer talking to someone else.
- And then there are three kinds of “Yes”: Counterfeit: This is one where the other party plans on saying “No” but feels that a “Yes” is an easier escape route. Confirmation: This is a generally innocent, reflexive response to a black or white question. Commitment: This is the real deal, one that most often leads to a definite outcome such as the signing of a contract. But given that these three sound almost the same, you’ll have to learn to recognize which one is being used. If you’re trying to sell something, don’t start with “Do you have a few minutes to talk?” Instead ask, “Is now a bad time to talk?” Either you get “Yes, it is a bad time” followed by a good time or a request to go away, or you get “No, it’s not” and total focus. As you can see, a “No” can do a lot: It can allow the real issues to be brought forth. It protects you from making poor decisions—and course-correcting ineffective ones. It slows things down, giving you time to analyze decisions and agreements. It helps you feel safe, secure, and emotionally comfortable. It moves everyone’s efforts forward. Saying “No” makes the speaker feel safe, secure, and in control, so trigger it. That’s why “Is now a bad time to talk?” is always better than “Do you have a few minutes to talk?” If a potential business partner is ignoring you, contact them with a clear and concise “No”-oriented question that suggests that you are ready to walk away. “Have you given up on this project?” works wonders.
- “That’s right“—the two words that can transform any negotiation. “That’s right” is better than “yes.” Strive for it. Reaching “that’s right” in a negotiation creates breakthroughs. As oppose to Yes which can be counterfeit and fake thats right has many meanings but mostly all good. It can mean: You understand me I trust you I like you I feel you’re a good fit I feel you can deliver what I want And notice the feeling is emotional rather than rational. The counterpart is accepting you because you accept them, not because of a rational argument you have won them over with.
- You can use a summary to trigger a “that’s right.” And the building blocks of a good summary are a label combined with paraphrasing.
- “Fair”—the most powerful word in any negotiation scenario. To become a great negotiator, you must earn the reputation of being a fair one. To get real leverage in a tough negotiation, you have to persuade the other party that they have something to lose if the deal falls through. You do that by convincing them that it is you who is being treated unfairly. Here’s how you can do that:
- Anchor their emotions: To bend the other party’s sense of reality or what is fair, you need to start with the basics of empathy. You need to be able to audit and acknowledge their fears. By anchoring their emotions in preparation for a loss, you inflame the other party’s loss aversion so that they’ll jump at the chance to avoid it. Let the other guy go first: Going first is not necessarily the best thing when it comes to negotiating price. Let the other side anchor monetary negotiations. By letting them anchor you also might get lucky: for instance, Chris has had many negotiation experiences when the other party’s first offer was higher than the closing figure he had in mind. If he’d gone first they would have agreed and he would have left with either the winner’s curse or buyer’s remorse. However, this could have a counter-effect. You need to be prepared to physically withstand the first offer. If the other party is a tough one, they may just end up bending your perception of reality. Establish a range: Establish a ballpark figure with credible references to support your statement. For instance, instead of saying, “I’m worth $110,000,” say, “At top places like Facebook., people in this job get between $130,000 and $170,000.” That gets your point across without making the other party defensive. Pivot to non-monetary terms: Make your offer seem reasonable by offering things that aren’t important to you but could be important to them. Or, if their offer is low you could ask for things that matter more to you than them. When you talk numbers, use odd ones: Numbers that end in a ‘0’ tend to feel like placeholders. But any arbitrary number you throw out that sounds less rounded— like say, $78,435—feels like a figure that you came to as a result of a thoughtful calculation. Surprise them with a gift: Make the other party feel generous by staking an extreme anchor, and then after their obvious rejection, offering them a completely unrelated surprise gift. People will take more risks to avoid a loss than to realize a gain. Make sure the other party sees that there is something to lose by inaction.
- Calibrated questions have the power to educate the other party on what the problem is rather than causing conflict by telling them what the problem is. Here are some calibrated questions that Chris uses in almost every negotiation, depending on the situation: What about this is important to you? How can I help make this better for us? How would you like me to proceed? What is it that brought us into this situation? How can we solve this problem? What are we trying to accomplish here? How am I supposed to do that? Calibrated questions make the other party feel like they’re in charge, but it’s really you who is driving the conversation. Negotiators are decision architects. As a negotiator, you have to dynamically and adaptively design every element of the negotiation to get both consent as well as execution. By asking the open ended questions you elicit longer more thought through responses and therefore you are triggering the rational side of the brain to come into play. You’re also letting the counterpart tell you what is preferable and confirming your assumptions.
- Time for a real world example
- Your flight was cancelled because of bad weather and you have to get to Texas for a deal signing that is 100% time sensitive. You get to the airport to realise a lot of angry people have also been cancelled, one of those angry people is shouting at the check-in lady in the queue before you arrive. This labels the negative and establishes a rapport based on empathy. This in turn encourages Wendy to elaborate on her situation, words Ryan can then mirror to invite her to go further.
- Wendy then goes on to explain how delays have rippled through the system
- Up till this point Ryan has been using labels and mirrors to build rapport with wendy. To her it seems like idle chit chat because he hasn’t actually asked for anything unlike the angry couple, Ryan is acknowledging her situation. His words go back and forth between “what’s that and “I hear you” both of which invite her to elaborate. Now that empathy has been built, she lets slip a piece of information he can use!
- Label, tactical empathy, more labels and paraphrasing her comment into a mirror and only then a request. At this point wendy taps away on the keyboard and Ryan remains silent, not wanting to talk himself out of the deal. After 30 seconds Wendy prints a boarding card and hands it to Ryan explaining there were a few seats that were supposed to be filled by people who would now arrive much later than the flights departure. To make Ryan’s success even better the seats were in business class. So next time you find yourself following behind an angry customer at a shop or airplane line take a moment to practice your labels, mirroring and tactical empathy. They won’t scream “Stop trying to control me!” hopefully… And you may come away with more than you expected.