The document provides advice on being a gentleman, including maintaining proper hygiene and grooming, dressing stylishly, behaving politely through etiquette and manners, respectfully conversing with women on dates, showing respect in relationships, and resolving conflicts reasonably without violence. The overarching message is that a gentleman prioritizes caring for others through kindness, consideration, and chivalry in both appearance and conduct.

1. THE CHANDLER JACQUES SCHOOL OF BEING A GENTLEMAN
AKA ALL THAT SHIT YOU NEVER LEARNED
GROWING UP PART ONE

2. 1. PERSONAL GROOMING
Perhaps the most important point, so pay
attention. Only sluts date greasy men.

3. HYGEINE
1. Bathe regularly. You
have a shower and
running water now.
Use them.
2. That being said:
cologne is not
shower gel. You
want to charm your
date, not choke
them.
3. Hair gel is to be
used sparingly. Your
hair needs to be
sculpted, but it
should not literally
feel like you’re a
Greek statue.

4. 2. STAYING STYLISH
This section isn’t that important because you
have me, but you should still pay attention to
this because I’m not your mother. I will not lay
your clothes out for you every morning.

5. The 15 Commandments of Fashion
1. Thou shalt know thy size. Being aware of your measurements can dramatically improve your look. Everything should almost hug your
shape without strangling your crotch. Oversized clothing is an epidemic, and this should be considered your vaccination.
2. Thou shalt “keep it simple.” You want to look good, but don’t overdo it. Don’t wear jewelry, you aren’t a woman. Don’t wear chains,
you aren’t in a band. Being flashy is as simple as wearing a nice watch or sporting your sharpest dress shoes.
3. Thou shalt reevaluate the word “casual.” It doesn’t mean boring. Experiment with collared shirts and approach casual a little
differently.
4. Thou shalt pay attention to supporting pieces. Your top and bottom should match. If your top is rugged, your bottom should be too.
Don’t wear your old ratty sweaters with a beautiful silk and wool suit. That’s almost as bad as a 40 year old woman in yoga pants.
5. Thou shalt never go shopping alone. Really, just without me. I don’t trust you around sales people who work for commission. You’re
too young and naïve still.
6. Thou shalt stay a notch above. It’s always better to be overdressed than underdressed (granted, don’t overdo it). However, you
should not be dressed better than your host. Or in your case, your boss.
7. Thou shalt pay attention to detail. The last thing you put on should be the first thing noticed. Mind the details more than the main part
of your outfit. Because you’re a fashion preschooler, details include the following: scarves, ties, subtle pocket squares, etc.
8. Thou shalt invest in one superb pair of shoes. Bitches love shoes. Keep them looking sharp and clean. Wash them and press them
like any of your other clothes. Most men don’t do this, so this will give you points and show that you’re a man of taste.
9. Thou shalt avoid logo tees. Do you want to look like a walking Mountain Dew ad? Lose the billboard tee and go for a v-neck (but only
if you have well-groomed chest hair; nobody needs that teen wolf shit).
10. Thou shalt disregard trends. Don’t buy something because it’s in. Trust me, you’ll never wear it. Stick to things you know you like and
build from there.
11. Thou shalt not be a sucker for brands. Not all brands are as quality as mine are. Let’s be honest, it doesn’t get much better than
Chandler Jacques.
12. Thou shalt cultivate thy image. Invest time and money into your fashion sense. It’s not just your outfit; it’s a mode of communication,
just as important as your career and your relationships.
13. Thou shalt always ask me first. You can always trust me to tell you if it looks like the 1990s barfed all over you.
14. Thou shalt always shave. It doesn’t matter if you look like a Greek God and dress sharper than me. The beard is an attraction killer. It
will stab any inkling of sexual desire right in the throat. Use a shave brush & old-fashioned double-edged razor and get a perfect shave
every time.
15. Thou shalt experiment. But only if I say it’s okay.

6. STYLE
1. Get regular hair
cuts. Again, none of
that teen wolf shit.
Dogs are pets for a
reason.
2. Keep it simple.
Clothes should
emphasize you, not
distract from you.

7. 3. ETIQUETTE
Because let’s be realistic, nobody likes a
douche bag, especially not girls.

8. Be Polite
1. A true gentleman is
polite to everyone,
not just the objects
of their affection.
2. Always be aware of
how to help others.
3. Always hold the
door for people
behind you.
4. Offer to carry things
for old people and
pregnant women.
5. Don’t be an idiot
though. Don’t risk
your life to look
polite.
6. Even when people
are being morons,
be polite.

9. Ask Questions
1. “How was your
day?”
2. “May I help you?”
3. Statements of
courtesy are also
acceptable and
suggested.
4. “Let me get that for
you.”
5. “I’ll take care of
that.”

10. Vulgarity
1. Don’t swear.
2. Seriously just don’t
do it.
3. It’s disgusting.
4. People will think you
aren’t classy.
5. You don’t have to
stop swearing, but
for the love of god,
hold your tongue.
6. You aren’t the
commander.
7. Even when the
commander swears,
I get a little bit
angry.
8. Don’t do it.

11. Public don’ts
1. Fart
2. Belch
3. Speak too loudly
4. Be demanding
5. Be offensive
6. Drink heavily
7. A gentleman is
always in control
of himself.

12. On a Date
Always hold your date’s
hand when you cross
the street. It makes her
feel protected and god
forbid a woman ever feel
unsafe.
No really, don’t ever let
her feel unsafe because
that will be the end of all
your happiness. She will
make your life hell
because women are
fucked up and irrational.

13. WHEN CONVERSING
Now, we’re getting to the good stuff. When
speaking to women, here’s what you should
know.

14. Subject Matter
1. Keep the focus off
of you.
2. But still talk about
yourself a little.
3. A respectable
woman will want to
know about you too.
4. But don’t share too
much because
women like mystery.
5. Are you confused
yet? Welcome to the
world of women.
6. Always be aware of
popular culture
(music, sports, etc.)

15. Avoid Politics
Seriously, we know you
just became Kennedy’s
banana boy, pet, what
have you, etc. But you
are not yet well-versed
enough in your field to
have the politics
conversation so avoid it
at all costs or you will
actually ruin every
ounce of credibility you
have and therefore your
life.

16. BEING POLITE WITH GIRLS
Yes, there are actually different rules when it
comes to being generally polite and being
polite with a woman.

17. Don’t Stare
Despite what the
League implies, women
are not objects, and they
do not like to be treated
as such.
DO NOT OGLE THEM
OR SAY ANYTHING
REMOTELY
DEGRADING OR YOU
WILL RUIN YOUR
DATE AND/OR
RELATIONSHIP.

18. Extra Respect
1. Open the door for her. This
is just common and
expected.
2. Guide her through the room.
Put your hand on the small
of her back, but keep it a
good four inches above her
ass or you’re at risk of being
that pervy guy.
3. Open the car door. Every
man should do this for the
woman he’s dating. Maybe
not every time you go out,
but definitely on your first
date or a special occasion.
It’ll score you major points.
4. Foot the bill. The woman
never pays for anything on a
date. Ever.
5. She should always walk on
the inside of the sidewalk.
No woman wants to feel like
she’s going to get nailed by
an Escalade on your date.
It’s a good way to show off
your protective side without
looking like an asshole.

19. Taboo Topics
1. How hot other girls
are. You do want to
have sex with this
girl, right?
2. If she is not into
sports, do not
discuss sports.
3. Girls tend to like
music, so that’s a
safe bet.
4. Teasing is fine, but
do not be cruel.
5. Teasing also does
not involve vulgarity.
6. Gentlemen never
call a woman a dirty
word.

20. Protect
1. The world is more
threatening for
women, especially
at night or in bad
areas.
2. Walk her to her door
or car if possible.
3. It doesn’t matter
how strong she
actually is: girls will
always be targeted
first.
4. Always offer her to
drive her to and
from.

21. GIRLFRIEND STATUS
Yeah, so you bagged her. You still have to be
nice. I know it sucks, but that’s just how it is.

22. Respect
1. Keep doing nice
things for her. Being
selfish is not
attractive.
2. Offer to carry things
for her.
3. Let her watch what
she wants
sometimes.
4. She will appreciate
the selflessness,
even if she doesn’t
voice it.

23. Keep her happy
1. Cards are nice.
2. Girls really love
flowers.
3. It doesn’t have to be
expensive and
showy.
4. It’s the effort that
counts here.
5. In fact, a rose, a
simple note, or a
kiss will keep a girl
happy for days.
6. If you love her, tell
her. Tell her often.
7. Be open and share
with her.
8. Laugh with her.

24. Defend
1. Don’t punch every
single man who
stares at her.
2. However, if
someone is making
advances, it is
totally acceptable to
intervene.
3. Politely remove her
from the
conversation or
speak for her.
4. Physical contact is
reassuring and also
marks your territory.

25. FIGHTING
The ins and outs of fighting because you are
a man, and you’re going to get the urges to
kill. This is how to do it in a classy way.

26. Prioritize
1. Don’t back down
from a challenge;
stand up for
yourself.
2. Do not sacrifice
your values for
someone who is just
looking for a fight
with anybody.

27. Be reasonable
1. Never use
weapons. You could
get hurt.
2. Never fight in or
against groups.
3. Do not try to be
Chuck Norris.
4. If your opponent is
down, you’ve made
your point, and it’s
time to stop.
5. Offer to help him up,
but expect a bad
reaction. He may
not share your
values.

28. FINAL RECAP
• Be sincere
• Do not obsess over your looks. Gentlemen look good, but they are polite
and unselfish.
• Looking good doesn’t mean throwing away t-shirts and jeans. It just
means they can’t be wrinkled, and they need to look good. Also, belts
can do wonders.
• Be aware of your surroundings and your actions. Assume people are
always watching.
• When talking, give your date/friend your undivided attention.
• Never ever honk your car horn when picking a girl up. Always walk to the
door and knock/ring the bell.
• Always lead by example and be considerate.
• Smiling and making eye contact creates an emotional bond with others.
• Being a gentlemen is as much about attitude as it is about appearance.
• Loving a girl always means giving. Always give (love, time, words of
affirmation). Just don’t give so much that you resent her.

29. Warnings
• Drinking in excessive impairs your judgment.
• Gentlemen have dignity and honor, yet they are humble
and thoughtful. You are not better than anyone else.
Don’t think it, don’t act it.
• A gentleman knows when he loses a fight. Know the
different between standing up for yourself and being a
moron.
• Be helpful, not overbearing.

30. A FINAL WORD
Any girl that doesn’t accept or understand
your generous and kind treatment is not
worthy of your time. Don’t waste it.