The document analyzes family dynamics among characters from the television show 'The Big Bang Theory,' emphasizing that family can be defined beyond biological ties to include chosen relationships formed by mutual support and shared experiences. It explores various characters' backgrounds, detailing how their personal histories affect their current interactions and relational challenges within their 'family' group. Key themes include communication patterns, emotional support, relational maintenance, and the balance between individuality and interdependence in friendships resembling family bonds.

1. Our whole universe was in a hot, dense state; then more than fourteen billion years ago expansion started – wait - The earth began to
Cool, the autotropes began to drool, Neanderthals developed tools; we built a wall (we built the pyramids)! Math, science, history; unraveling the mystery that all started with the big bang!
Cool, the autotropes began to drool, Neanderthals developed tools; we built a wall (we built the pyramids)! Math, science, history; unraveling the mystery that all started with the big bang!
A Study of Relationships and Communication
Within a Self-Selected Family Scenario
By Serena Gosbee
Based on The Big Bang Theory
AChuck Lorre television program
Seasons One through Three
Our whole universe was in a hot, dense state; then more than fourteen billion years ago expansion started – wait - The earth began to

2. “A family may be viewed more broadly as a group of people with
a past history, a present reality and a future expectation of
interconnected mutually influencing relationships.” (5)

3. More succinctly, families are “networks of people who share their
lives over long periods of time bound by ties of marriage, blood,
law or commitment, legal or otherwise, who consider themselves
as a family and who share a significant history and anticipated
future of functioning in a family relationship.” (p. 6)
Family units need not be constructed of biologically similar
members. Because there is “no single, widely agreed-upon
definition of the term „family,‟” ( 3) it is possible to state that
the a family unit can be constructed by a group of individuals
who choose to interact with one another, given an absence of
biological family members in their current situation.
Note: The text opens with two dedications which specifically
reference friends as “family.”

4. The individuals within The
Big Bang Theory interact
and communicate with one
another in the context of a
family environment.
Although they are not
related by blood; their
activities, mannerisms, and
shared history/future create
an environment similar to a
family bond.
Each member of this “family”
comes from a biological unit of
their own, but their blood
relatives create situations in
which each respective
individual feels uncomfortable
and therefore is required to
reach out and build
relationships of their own to
create a “family.”

5. Dr. Sheldon Cooper, B.S.,
M.S., M.A., Ph.D., Sc.D.
Theoretical Physicist
As a child, Sheldon‟s home life was remarkably difficult. He moved through his
education at a rapid pace (graduating from high school after completing the fifth
grade, receiving his Bachelor‟s at fourteen, his first Doctorate at sixteen and his second
at age twenty.) His biological family consists of his only living grandparent “Memaw,”
to whom Sheldon is very close; his mother Mary (his father George being deceased), an
older brother named George Junior and a twin sister named Missy. Mary‟s strong
Protestant convictions are in sharp contrast to Sheldon‟s scientific fervor, which leads to
the only point of contention between the two who are otherwise very close.
Sheldon‟s relationship with his family-of-origin is disengaged, wherein the individuals
lead separate lives both emotionally and physically. This decision was largely made by
his family as they struggled with Sheldon‟s overwhelmingly scientific mind. With this in
mind, it should be noted that Sheldon and his mother do talk regularly.

6. Dr. Leonard Hofstadter, Ph.D.
Experimental Physicist
Much like Sheldon, Leonard experienced a difficult childhood because of science.
His biological family consists of individuals who followed scientific paths. His
mother, Dr. Beverly Hofstadter, majored in psychology and neuroscience. As
such, she has a very cold demeanor and expresses no warmth at the concept of
motherhood – often going so far as to point out many of Leonard‟s
“shortcomings.” His father is noted as an anthropologist, although otherwise
goes largely unmentioned. His brother Michael is a professor of law.
Relationships within this biological unit are tense and strained because of the
strong scientific convictions of all members involved.
Leonard‟s relationship with his family-of-origin is also disengaged, because the
members exist separate from one another and interact only as necessary.
However, this decision was largely Leonard‟s, as he holds so much frustration for
his stressful childhood.

7. Dr. Rajesh
Koothrappali, Ph.D.
Astrophysicist
Rajesh – commonly referred to as Raj – was born in New Delhi, India. He
describes his childhood as difficult, but this typically is noted alongside the idea
that his father is a gynecologist and Raj grew up in a well-to-do family. Raj is
one of six children; however, only his sister Priya is mentioned by name. Raj
holds very different beliefs from the rest of the group, as he practices Hinduism
openly and notes his beliefs from time to time.
Raj‟s family-of-origin is separated, because he lives so far from his home that it
is difficult for their lives to be anything greater. However, Raj communicates
with his parents frequently, often using the medium of a webcam in order to
bring them into his life. This can create tense situations when his parents become
meddlesome and begin trying to dictate what should happen in his life (such as
choosing women for him to date).

8. Howard Walowitz, M.Eng.
Aerospace Engineer
Howard‟s relationship with his family-of-origin is very different from the other
relationships discussed within the show. He lives with his mother and exists in an
enmeshed biological family unit that thrives on their living together. Although
he expresses negative emotion over his ties to his mother, he seems to make no
strides towards self-sufficiency. His father left when Howard was 11, prompting
some of Howard‟s longstanding issues with relationships. Although he considers
himself a ladies' man, he is often looked down upon by women for his patronizing
statements and overtly sexual advances.
Another of Howard‟s characteristics is his religion. His background and
upbringing are Jewish (with his mother playing the clichéd Jewish Mother role
of clingy and patronizing, refusing to admit that her son is more than a child)
but his own tendency is to stray from being Kosher (at times just to irk his
mother).

9. Penny (Last Name as yet un-noted)
Cheesecake Factory Waitress
Penny is a very different character from the
others in this group. Upon introducing herself,
she explains that she is from Omaha, Nebraska
and is “a Sagittarius, which probably tells you
all you need to know.” She falls in love easily
and sees the world in a more carefree light than
the rest of the group does. Science typically
eludes her.
Penny‟s biological background is another
disengaged family, and is mentioned only in
passing during the series. Because of the
distance (she moved to Pasadena from Omaha),
there is little opportunity for any connectedness
within the family unit.

10. Within the context of the
show, individuals interact
on more of a connected
level: their emotions and
physical activities often tie
together. However, emotion
is a difficult topic because
science and emotion are so
remote from one another.
To that end,
communication within this
unit is often humorous as
each individual grapples
differently with the societal
norms of conversation.

11. Adaptability within this family unit is a difficult balance to strike.
Sheldon‟s idiosyncrasies create a very rigid family system, wherein certain
patterns are followed by family members so to emphasize the greatest
comfort level for him. To that end, others must be exorbitantly flexible to
accommodate his needs.
Sheldon’s Seat
“In the winter, that seat is close enough to the radiator to remain warm
and yet not so close as to cause perspiration. In the summer, it’s directly
in the path of a cross-breeze created by opening windows *there* and
*there*. It faces the television at an angle that is neither direct, thus
discouraging conversation, nor so far wide as to create
a parallax distortion.”

12. Although no inherent metaphors stand out in the context of the show,
a suitable comparison for the characters would be to that of
nucleotide chains forming deoxyribonucleic acid (DNA). Just as the
chains form together to create something larger (life forms), so do
Sheldon, Leonard, Raj, Howard and Penny join together to achieve
something greater (friendship and family).

13. Women are a
hopeless endeavor.
“We're all pathetic and
creepy and can't get girls.
That's why we fight
robots.”
A number of themes appear throughout the course of the show.
“A theme may be viewed as a pattern of feelings, motives, fantasies and
conventionalized understandings grouped around a particular locus of concern…” (39)
We have superior
intelligence.
“I am a published
theoretical physicist with
two doctorates and an IQ
which can't be accurately be
measured by normal tests.”

14. “Within any system, the parts are so interrelated as
to be dependent on each other for their functioning.”
(59)
Within this dynamic, interdependence is key.
Sheldon depends on others for transportation
Howard and Raj are co-dependent for attention
Penny is depended upon for “real world” applications
Penny depends on Leonard and Sheldon for
support

15. Dialectical tensions arise in any familial situation. Struggles
over autonomy versus connection, closed- versus openness and
predictability versus novelty all can create tense situations in
which members must carefully “negotiate and renegotiate what it
means to be in a functioning relationship.” (75)
Within this family unit, dialectical tensions often arise when
Sheldon fails to understand a common nuance of socially
acceptable behavior, and one of the others needs to explain it.
Leonard: “You know what, you’ve convinced me, maybe tonight
we should sneak in and shampoo her carpet.”
Sheldon: “You don’t think that crosses a line?”
Leonard: “Yes! For God’s sake, Sheldon, do I have to hold up a
sarcasm sign every time I open my mouth?”

16. “We tell each other stories to make sense of our worlds.” (77)
Stories within this family are used most often to teach – Leonard,
Sheldon, Raj or Howard to one another or to Penny. Conversely, Penny‟s
stories are often told to entertain or to share tidbits about her day.
“Okay, so Kim the night manager
went on maternity leave, and her
husband’s name is Sandy, right?
So get this, her replacement is a
woman named Sandy whose
husband’s name is Kim… What
are the odds?”
“Now, Introduction to Physics.
What is physics? Physics comes
from the ancient Greek word
physika. It’s at this point that
you’ll want to start taking notes.
Physika means the science of natural
things. And it is there, in ancient
Greece, that our story begins.”

17. “And now, as promised, the tangent.
„Sheldon and the Hell Hound,‟ or
„How I Lost My Hot Dogs.‟”

18. Communication Patterns emerge as a “shared understanding of what
communication means and what kinds of communication are appropriate in
various situations.” (85)
“[Giving birthday gifts] is a non-optional social convention.”
“I‟m at a loss. If you like, you can review my daily log of social
interactions and see if there‟s a blunder I overlooked.”

19. “What exactly does that
expression mean, „friends with
benefits‟? Does he provide her
with health insurance?”
“I have something to announce, but
out of respect for convention, I will
wait for you to finish your current
conversation. What are you talking
about?”
“I assume you‟re not referring to
digestive regularity? Because I‟ve
come to learn that such inquiries
are inappropriate.”

20. “Secret keeping is a complicated
endeavor. One has to be
concerned not only about what
one says, but about facial
expression, autonomic reflexes…
when I try to deceive, I myself
have more nervous tics than a
lyme disease research facility.”
“Secrets involve information that is purposefully hidden or concealed
by one or more family members.” (91)
Sheldon: “If this is about the
night the heat went out, there‟s
nothing to be embarrassed
about.”
Raj: “It‟s not about that.”
Howard: “And we agreed to
never speak of [that] again.”

21. “Networks manage cohesion and deal with relational tasks.” (97)
Romantic relationships, friendships, colleagues, and family ties all
present themselves as networks within this unit.

22. Penny: “Yeah, [his mother] wants me to take him
shopping for sheets and towels.”
Leonard: “I was going to do that.”
Penny: “Oh, well, then you, you do it.”
Leonard: “No, I don‟t want to do it. You can do it.”
Penny: “Okay, you can take him for shoes.”
Leonard: “I just took him for shoes.”
Penny: “Well, all I know is he says they hurt his feet.”
Leonard: “Fine. I‟ll take him for shoes next Saturday.”

23. Relational Maintenance involves “keeping the relationship (1) in
existence, (2) in a state of connectedness, (3) in satisfactory
condition, and (4) in repair.” (112)
“Persons in various roles or structures face… relational maintenance
challenges.” (115)
Howard: “You know, Sheldon, you don‟t have so many
friends that you can afford to start insulting them.”

24. “Rituals are not just pleasurable routine
events; rather, rituals serve central ongoing
maintenance and relational functions.” (120)
“What am I supposed to do, eat French toast on a
Monday? Now, that would be impossible.”
“…let‟s go over the morning schedule. I use the
bathroom from 7 to 7:20 - plan your ablutions and
bodily functions accordingly. “
“You can‟t go out, it‟s Halo night.”
“Every Saturday since we have lived in this
apartment, I have awakened at 6:15, poured myself a
bowl of cereal, added a quarter cup of 2% milk, sat
on this end of this couch, turned on BBC America
and watched Doctor Who.”

25. Relational currencies “carry meaning about the affection or caring
dimension of human relationships.” (122)
Relational currencies can involve goods (such as food, money, or other
gifts) or services (such as physical touch or spending game time together).
“Leonard, look! Sheldon‟s
hugging me!”
“You said be nice to Penny. I
believe offering chocolate to someone
falls within the definition of nice.”

26. “It's very simple. Look -- Scissors cuts Paper, Paper covers Rock.
Rock crushes Lizard, Lizard poisons Spock. Spock smashes
Scissors, Scissors decapitates Lizard. Lizard eats Paper, Paper
disproves Spock, Spock vaporizes rock, and as it always has,
Rock crushes Scissors.”
Penny: “Wow, Sheldon, I cannot believe you made up your own game.”
Sheldon: “Oh, Research Lab is more than a game. It‟s like the slogan
says: „The physics is theoretical, but the fun is real!‟”
Leonard: “We must not be playing it right.”
Penny: “All right, five. One, two, three, four, five. Oh, wow, look at that,
my Department of Defense research grant is renewed.”
Sheldon: “Oh! Great roll! Now you can demolish your Soviet-style
cyclotron and build the large Hadron Collider.”
Penny: “Yay.”

27. Self-Disclosure occurs when “one person intentionally tells another personal
or private things about himself or herself that the other is unable to discern
in a different manner.” (132)
Self-disclosure within this unit must carefully be monitored, as the scientific
implications of the situation often colors individual understanding of the
sanctity of disclosure.
“I sense I may have crossed some sort of line… Is this it? „It was
inappropriate to discuss Leonard and Penny‟s sex life in front of
Leonard and Penny.‟”

28. Forgiveness is an attempt by both parties to “‟abandon‟ the negative and
„foster the positive.‟” (147)
“Wow, you just don‟t get it, do you? Buying me something pretty isn‟t
going to make our problem just go away.”
“Well, you‟re a friend, and you like Batman, and cookies,
and you‟re off the team.”

29. “Family members need mutual admiration, support and
reassurance.” (159)
Family members within this unit support one another both
through societal conventions (as below) and their own conventions
(Sheldon‟s song for when he‟s sick.)
Leonard: “What‟s that?”
Sheldon: “Tea. When people are upset, the cultural convention
is to bring them hot beverages. There there.”

30. Soft Kitty
Warm Kitty
Little ball of fur
Happy Kitty
Sleepy Kitty
Purr, Purr, Purr

31. “Current literature on family roles often centers on terms that
reflect the changing role of providing basic resources.” (164)
All members of this group provide for one another: financial and
nutritional provisions are given freely among all members.
“My expenses account for 46.9% of my
after-tax income. The rest is divvied up
between a small savings account, this
deceptive container of peanut brittle and
the hollowed-out buttocks of a superhero
action figure who shall remain nameless for
his own protection. Or her own protection.
Take some.”
“Did you remember to ask for the
chicken with broccoli to be diced not
shredded?... Even though the menu
description specifies shredded?... Brown
rice, not white?... Did you stop at the
Korean grocery and get the good hot
mustard?... Did you pick up the low
sodium soy sauce from the market?”

32. “Consensual families are high in both conversation and conformity
strategies.” (177)
Decisions in this family are made as a group (while carefully monitoring
Sheldon‟s idiosyncrasies for the greater good).
Sheldon: “Point of order. I move that any vote on team names should be unanimous. No
man should be forced to emblazon his chest with the Bengal tiger, when common sense
dictates it should be an army ant.”
Leonard: “Will the gentleman from the great state of denial yield for a question?”
Sheldon: “I will yield.”
Leonard: “After we go through the exercise of an annoying series of votes, all of which
the gentleman will lose, does he then intend to threaten to quit if he does not get his
way?”
Sheldon: “He does.”
Leonard: “I move we are the Army Ants, all those in favor?”

33. “Change may trigger uneasiness and conflict… Disturbances in
equilibrium lead to conditions in which groups or individuals no
longer do willingly what they are expected to do.” (221)
“Scientists do not compromise. Our minds are trained to synthesize facts and
come to inarguable conclusions.”
“In a few minutes, when I gloat over the failure of this enterprise, how would
you prefer I do it? The standard „I told you so?‟ The classic „Neener-Neener?‟
Or just my normal look of haughty derision?”
Typical conflict within this setting occurs as a result of
competition, wherein, high assertiveness and a desire for
individual gain is key. “I win – You lose” scenarios are the norm.

34. Another idiosyncrasy of Sheldon‟s is his aversion to conflict. Although he
can handle “good natured ribbing,” a shouting match typically reduces him
to passive-aggressive attempts to dispel the situation.
Leonard: “Are you listening to yourself?
Do you know how childish you sound
right now?”
Penny: “Oh, now I‟m a child? Well, at
least I‟m not an idiot anymore!”
Leonard: “The two aren‟t mutually
exclusive!”
Penny: “Oh, you are such a… What the
hell is he doing?”
Leonard: “He‟s drowning us out. He
doesn‟t like fighting.”
“Stop it, both of you! All this fighting, I
might as well be back with my parents!
„Damn it, George, I told you if you
didn‟t quit drinkin‟ I‟d leave you!‟ „Well,
I guess that makes you a liar, ‟cause I‟m
drunk as hell and you‟re still here!‟ „Stop
yelling! You‟re making Sheldon cry!‟ „I‟ll
tell you what‟s making Sheldon cry! That
I let you name him Sheldon!‟”

35. “As you know, I‟m not comfortable with prolonged good-byes and
maudlin displays of emotion… so I prepared this short video.
The four of you are three of my closest friends and one treasured
acquaintance. Though I cannot state categorically that my life
will be diminished by not having you in it, I am comfortable if
you choose to believe that.”

36. BIBLIOGRAPHY
Textual References:
Galvin, K. M., Brommel, B. J., & Bylund, C. L. (1986).
Family communication: cohesion and change (7th
ed.). Glenview, Ill. : Scott, Foresman.
Series Quotations:
Veloso, B. (n.d.). Big Bang Theory Transcripts. Big Bang
Theory Transcripts. Retrieved April 7, 2011, from
http://bigbangtrans.wordpress.com/
Images:
Google Images. (n.d.). Google Images. Retrieved April 7,
2011, from http://images.google.com