Summary of the chapters contributed by Gordon himself to this book. He covers his experience with British communism in the 1970's and 1980's, and with the onset of his mental illness. He writes of his social circle in South London and his psychosis. Gordon writes of Recovery, regaining the use of his brain, and 'writing himself better'.

1. Gordon McManus & Jerome Carson:
From Communism to Schizophrenia and Beyond:
One Man’s Long March to Recovery
Foreword (Dinesh Bhugra). Illness is manifested socially. Clinicians may only
be interested in pathology and disease.
Part One: One Man’s Long March to Recovery.
Chapter One, Political Life (Gordon McManus).
There was some difficulty during Gordon’s undergraduate years at Essex, and
he emerged without a ‘good degree’. He had previously been offered to do an
MA at Georgetown University by the Essex department, provided he provide
information to the police on the language of dominos in the West Indian
community. (Gordon, although from Burma, had attained ‘honourary’ status in
the Caribbean community.) Gordon refused and was not awarded a good
degree. This also led to Gordon being told to leave home by his father, who did
not want his son involved in revolutionary politics. Gordon’s route was via
Scientific Socialism, with the specialism of dialectical materialism. He joined
the New Communist Party (NCP) with KN in 1980 upon KN’s return from the
Soviet Union. Background: CPGB had split with Eurocommunists vs Stalinists.
Gordon allied himself as ‘Pro-Soviet’ to develop Scientific Socialism. Joined
Wandsworth branch of NCP where some national leaders also met. To get
credit from the NCP, Gordon got involved in support for Irish hunger strikers.
Gordon saw three issues as key at that time: Ireland, South Africa, Palestine.
KN and Gordon were seen as ‘ultra left’ and there were tensions in the NCP.
Gordon felt that a country that oppresses another cannot be free (is this a
criterion for communism – to be free?). NCP saw main movement as peace
movement, not Ireland. NCP branch decided to look at work on differences
between Marxism-Leninism and bourgeois ideology. NCP members were
regarded as ‘tankies’ (cf Hungary and Czechoslovakia) and Gordon remained
keen on Scientific Socialism. KN and Gordon were then accepted as full NCP
members, but there was ‘suspicion’. Gordon disagreed with a party article
which conflated transition from feudalism to capitalism, with industrial reserve
army in mature Kism. Then KN advocated for cause of ‘professional
revolutionaries’ and a battle ensued. Gordon did not expect this battle over
Lenin’s principles. KN wanted the party to be the vanguard of the proletariat.

2. AF was KN’s ex girlfriend who was active in Southampton. She took KN’s
struggle there. In 1981 KN had to leave the NCP over a resolution to follow
‘professional revolution’. KN and Gordon eventually were both expelled. NCP
had clearly decided not to develop Lenin’s principles, and did not allow Gordon
to address the ‘advanced worker’. (Well done Gordon.) Cold War was at its
height with Poland, and the Eurocommunists dominating the CPGB. A group
left from the NCP fallout including KN and Gordon, formed Proletarian. Not
many black communists – Gordon as honourary black.
(At this time I was distracted with having my backside injected and doing
typewriter mechanics.)
Gordon thought that British Communist movement was ‘workerist’ and not
‘Leninist’. NCP could never be vanguard party. (Vanguard of the proletariat
but Gordon never uses the phrase.) Lenin: without revolutionary theory,
there is no revolutionary movement. Basic division at the time was between
pro-Soviets and Eurocommunists. Gordon joined Proletarian as first National
Organiser. Only London and Soton, none up north – did other organisations
have members there? Ilyenkov is key writer for Gordon – best works from
Soviet Marxism-Leninism. Gordon states again that BCP is poor on theory.
Gordon saw dialectics in Irish situation, with real contradictions. AF had
difficulty with dialectics. At first Gordon was close to KN in Proletarian, then
they became distanced. Gordon was not concerned about AF’s middle class
origins or anyone’s background, as long as they developed socialist theory
concerning Britain. KN and Proletarian declared Soviet govt to be principled,
and this was to be proven wrong in late 1980’s. (Presumably with Gorbachev’s
compromise.)
Gordon identifies four hard left groups at the time: Communists, Trotskyites
(are they not communist too), Maoists and anarchists. RGC (Revolutionary
Communist Group) took umbrage when Gordon criticised their stance of
‘dialectics is mumbo-jumbo’. RGC physically attacked Proletarian members,
which disappointed Gordon as thuggery was for fascists. Gordon continued
work on Ireland and got to know Guildford Four and others. GM and John
McCluskey enlightened Gordon re the Irish struggle for freedom and unity.
Gordon understood that Irish were first people colonised by England.
There was a meeting in 1985 attended by Bogdanov, a Soviet representative,
which confirmed Proletarian as bona fide communists, and KN felt this was his

3. high point in being a pro-Soviet communist. Gordon had doubts as Proletarian
had no long track record and as it had not developed into a vanguard party.
(This was serious stuff.) 1986, and Gordon is asked to stop work on Ireland
and start on South Africa. Today Sinn Fein is engaged on power sharing and
full participation in bourgeois democracy. Gordon becomes vice-chair of
Lambeth Anti-Apartheid Group (LAAG). Gordon wanted LAAG to get good
community relations with TU’s, BME groups, etc and then for Proletarian’s
policy to be implemented. (Serious revolutionary activity). MM was black link
at LAAG. Gordon got links with the ANC in London. ANC wanted Gordon to
inform to them anything from LAAG – spying. Although he had misgivings
about Proletarian, Gordon decided to abandon them and to carry out his
internationalist duty (with LAAG and ANC). KN demoted Gordon at Proletarian
to ordinary member. Proletarian removed Gordon from LAAG. Gordon went to
talk to MD Naidoo at ANC but the door was shut on him, and he left politics
altogether. Previously Gordon, as a Proletarian (the only BME on Proletarian),
had not been included in all meetings between KN and Proletarian, and BME
groups. This indicated problems arising at Proletarian. Then when Gordon had
quit, the chair of LAAG visited him and said Gordon should rejoin LAAG to clear
his name. KN visited and offered Gordon his former position, but Gordon had
demands that KN would not meet, and Gordon did not rejoin Proletarian.
Gordon says he did not know who to trust and that this brought about a
degree of paranoia. Around 1989 Gordon was curious about rejoining
Proletarian, but on enquiry he found that there were divisions between KN on
the one hand and AF and N. Proletarian collapsed. This had taken up 8 years of
Gordon’s life. Gordon gave all for liberation of South Africa and has never
worked for Imperialism – he stopped Anti-Apartheid activity in 1991 when
Nelson Mandela was released.
Gordon recognises this time as a major contributory to his understanding of
Scientific Socialism. With the strength of the Soviet Union which Gordon
describes in the context of ‘World Socialism’ (he does not mention Trotskyism
and International Socialism), he puts a place of importance on revolutionary
deeds.
Gordon then explains the implosion of the USSR (a term he doesn’t use). He
puts failure down to the pre-eminence of state monopoly and the absence of
social relations of production in the Soviet Union. Hence alienation was a

4. function of state socialism (rather than capitalist methods of production.) He
does not go into the dictatorship of the proletariat, something he never
broaches, but my understanding of communist ideology is that the dictatorship
has its place at this juncture. Indeed Gordon states his opposition to the idea
of the state playing a role in socialist economic development, which he
ascribes to Marxism-Leninism. Gordon describes the collapse of the USSR in
terms of the stagnation of the economy due to state monopoly. This he says
Gorbachev recognised. He does not mention Ronald Reagan and does not
mention the pressure of the Star Wars arms race and pressures of populist
economics within the USSR with the opening up of dialogue with the West.
This latter is the view of the Open University.
Gordon finishes Chapter 1 with an admirable statement of the communist
analysis of revolution. He talks of the worker no longer being alienated or
estranged from the means of production. This is the case under socialism
where the worker owns the means of production, as opposed to capitalism
where it’s the capitalist who owns the means of production.
Gordon mentions ‘universal human values common to mankind’ yet these are
ideological values and are separate from the communist paradigm.
Finally Gordon is glad to have come to a position in 2008 on Marxism-Leninism
and this has enabled him to recover and to cope with the voices, as I have got
my brain back in 2013.
NB. As I understand it, the transition from Kism to socialism is brought about
by the withering away of the state. For Gordon it is developing ‘social
humanity’ into ‘socialist humanity.’ This may be the same thing expressed in
different qualitative ways, as Foucault too describes capitalism in critical neo-
Marxist terms.
NB2. Wikipedia contrasts Scientific Socialism with Utopian Socialism. Scientific
has more to do with realism and is therefore a tool of revolution. However
Gordon does not mention historical inevitability, which I think has an aspect
onto a scientific approach to the overthrow of Kism. Historical inevitability
probably has no connection to utopianism.
Chapter Two: From 1991: The Years of Schizophrenia
Gordon’s delusion was that the Soviets were communicating with him, through
‘mental telepathy.’ Gordon suffered from voices and self-harmed, from about
1995. Gordon had quit the ANC and Proletarian. Gordon felt vindicated by his

5. understanding of what LAAG policy should be. Gordon had no insight and
really believed in this new science of Soviet mental telepathy. Gordon burned
all his books with the knowledge of his landlord, and his voices became
abusive. He began to research the ‘implosion of Soviet communism’ which he
thought was due to the state monopoly system, and this was to retaliate
against the voices. He still did not believe that the voices were schizophrenia,
he thought they were from the Soviets. The voices were a new type of politics,
to test whether Gordon was fit for this new method. After reading other SU
narratives, he began to write about his own experience in 2007. Previously on
his first admission in 1994 he had hidden his symptoms from the doctors. In
1996 Gordon began to structure the voices so he could identify them, and also
started to see forms. At that time also he started self-harming. 1996 and 1997
were fully occupied with voices and forms. Gordon got a knife to show the
Soviets he meant business. He was very angry with the Soviet voices. He
thought friend Stanton was a ‘quick’ person and associated a ‘quick’ form with
Stanton. He fell out with an acquaintance whom he helped to write essays, and
was pleased when he found out later that she had passed her Diploma. In
2000, the voices were very severe and he saw forms of political people. He
ordered the execution of Milosevic and Saddam Hussein, and saw Blair and
Brown. He carries a knife everywhere. Gordon heard a voice that Karpov would
go to The Studio. Gordon got arrested for carrying the knife. He was sent to
hospital and the duty solicitor got the magistrates to hear that Gordon was
unwell. Gordon was open with Dr Bindman and was diagnosed with
schizophrenia. Social worker Charleen de Villiers got Gordon Income Support
and stopped him from being evicted. Gordon told a friend at The Studio that
he is schizophrenic. He discussed Marxism-Leninism and ‘Globalisation is
Imperialism’ with a friend from The Studio. In 2001 Gordon learned his father
was dying – he died in 2002. Gordon started driving lessons, but stopped when
he saw a blue form during a lesson. He now knew this was schizophrenia, not
Soviet voices. The voices woke him in the night and at 4.30 am every day,
whereupon Gordon would use the TV to blank them out. Gordon saw ‘A
Beautiful Mind’ and he learned to ignore the voices. Gordon has lived with
schizophrenia for 18 years, and from 1991 to 2001 he had the delusion that
this was Soviet ‘mental communication’. Now Gordon has a ‘conscious’

6. approach to his illness, and this has not prevented an isolated relapse to
hospital. Gordon is still woken at 4.30 am.
Chapter Three: My journey of recovery.
Gordon was finally diagnosed with paranoid schizophrenia in 2001. He
frequented The Studio in Brixton where he was accepted and played dominoes
and chess. He invited friends to his flat when the club closed down and began
to write a book on globalisation to counter the political voices he heard. In
2006 he was introduced to the Recovery model by Jerome at the Maudsley,
and developed his definition.
Dr Bindman diagnosed Gordon. Gordon used writing and playing chess on his
computer to regain the brain he had lost during his schizophrenic phase. (cf
me getting my brain back.) Gordon’s first piece was on IDS winning the Tory
leadership contest in about 2001, his first writing since 1992. Gordon explained
to his friends that the highest stage of globalisation is imperialism, that was
the Marxist-Leninist explanation. This was corroborated by an article by the
South African CP. Gordon’s behaviour changed in 2002 after his father died,
and he threw his sister out of his flat. Gordon was sectioned. Now Gordon
agrees he should have been sectioned. Gordon found that while hospitalised
he had to fight for his identity and personality. He wondered if he could be
normalised after two hospitalisations in three years. ‘It is not only your illness
**but social determinants that also affect your life.’ After release, Gordon
began to challenge the Marxist-Leninist idea that ‘Globalisation is Imperialism’.
The time was 2003-2004 and Gordon still went to The Studio where he was
respected for chess and dominoes. (The Studio closed in 2004.) Gordon coined
the term ‘Greetings’ for a 6-0 whitewash at dominoes. (Like ‘filepast’ in Fox
and Geese from me?) Friends encouraged him to write on globalisation. The
voices were not so dominant. 2005 saw Gordon begin his social times at his
flat for his friends from The Studio. Gordon persuaded the friends that
globalisation is not imperialism. By now writing was an important part of
Gordon’s sense of identity. He had now to choose between schizophrenia or
rebuilding his life. He regained the writing discipline he had lost in the 1980’s.
Gordon’s sister did not want him to write on politics (cf Robert and C B) and his
friends were interested. Writing also got rid of the political voices somewhat.
Friend Stanton got a website organised for Gordon and this enabled distance
from the voices. In 2005 Gordon got referred to psychological therapy using

7. the Recovery model. His psychiatrist thought that medication alone was not
doing the job. In 2006 he started therapy and the completion of his book was
cathartic. He says therapy was a ‘God-send’ even though he is an atheist.
Talking about his condition was very important to him. His CPN referred him
to Jerome in the recovery context and he began sessions in 2007. Jerome said
‘full recovery’ was more likely as Jerome’s schizophrenia was late onset. He
read Rachel Perkins’ work including that ‘you need hope to cope’. It helped
Gordon to intellectualise his illness and he restructured his identity. Then in
2007 he shared with his domino friends that he had schizophrenia, not
depression as they had previously assumed. He developed a model of
recovery: The McManus/Carson model. This has four stages: a normal life,
descent into mental illness and hospitalisation, recovery period, resumed
normal life. 2008 was the year that Gordon wrote material that was to become
this chapter. This is a very therapeutic activity to write about his experiences
concerning schizophrenia. 1994 to 2005 was the medical model, meds as a
cure. Gordon says that ‘schizophrenia practically destroyed my rational
functioning’ (page 49).It was not until 2008 that the voices had reduced to
mild. Gordon quotes Rachel Perkins saying that recovery is about meaning,
purpose, and identity. This was achieved for Gordon through chess and
dominoes. He quotes ‘A Beautiful Mind’. Gordon mentions stigma of mental
illness, he hid his illness. After treatment with meds and the recovery model,
he has not had an inpatient episode in two years.
McManus/Carson model of Recovery: Politics was primary in Gordon’s life. The
model includes coping with mental illness and having a meaningful life. Final
stage is ‘resuming normal life.’ That means being able to socialise and work.
Patricia Deegan is quoted: To be the unique, awesome, never to be repeated
human being. That means to live a normal life taking into account the
experience of mental illness. ‘Hope’ is to have the goal of striving to fully
recover.