This document provides tips and best practices for writing effective fundraising copy. It discusses using simple, unexpected, concrete, credible and emotional stories to engage donors. Story archetypes like rags to riches and the hero's journey are mentioned. The document also recommends using active voice, short sentences, and relating the story to the reader. It emphasizes asking directly for donations rather than vague requests for "support." Overall, the document gives guidance on storytelling techniques and grammatical choices to optimize fundraising appeals.

1. Copywriting for Fundraising
13 February 2014

2. Damian O’Broin
Annetta Murphy
damian@askdirect.ie
annetta@askdirect.ie
@damianobroin
@annettamurphy
slideshare.net/damianob
www.askdirect.ie

3. Client list 2010-14
Women’s
Aid
‘Working to End Violence Against Women’

5. Think of a song that
makes you cry

6. Did an angel whisper in your ear
And hold you close and take away your fear
In those long last moments
We used to drive
Thru Lafayette and Baton Rouge
In a yellow Camino
Listening to Howling Wolf
He liked to stop in Lake Charles
Cause that's the place that he loved

8. Some questions you
need to answer
before you start...

9. Who are you writing to?
Describe them

11. Exactly what do you want my money for?
And why?

12. Who is signing the appeal?
Why?

13. What are the
tangible and...
...intangible
benefits for the
donor?

14. Why respond NOW?

15. Stories & Stickiness

16. S imple
Unexpected
C oncrete
C redible
E motional
S tories
heathbrothers.com

17. Simple
“It’s about elegance and prioritisation, not dumbing down”
– Chip and Dan Heath, Made to Stick

18. Simple

19. Unexpected
This is an unsolicited fundraising
appeal from Women’s Aid.
Please discard it immediately if you
feel it’s presence may put you at risk

20. Unexpected
20

21. Unexpected
Surprise. Then interest and curiosity.
You need to open up gaps in people’s
knowledge... and then fill them.

22. Unexpected
Harris
Interac,ve
Poll,
October
2010

23. Concrete

24. Concrete

25. Concrete
Think about proverbs.
“A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush”

26. Credible

27. Credible
The importance of the Darth Vader toothbrush

28. Credible
More details
Vivid stories
CREDIBILITY
Active language
Concrete words

29. Emotional

31. Drive action
Why emotions
are important
Enhance memories
Increase attention

32. The Mother Teresa Principle
If I look at the mass,
I will never act.
If I look at the one, I will.

33. The Joe Stalin Principle
One man’s death is a tragedy,
but a million deaths is a statistic.

34. The Rokia
Experiment

35. Food shortages in Malawi are affecting more than 3 million children.
In Zambia, sever rainfall deficits have resulted in a 42% drop in the
maize production from 2000. As a result, an estimated 3 million
Zambians face hunger.
4 million Angolans – one third of the population – have been forced to
flee their homes.
More than 11 million people in Ethiopia need immediate food assistance.
23% of earnings donated

36. Her life would be changed for the better as a result of your financial gift.
With your support, and the support of other caring sponsors, Save the
Children will work with Rokia’s family and other members of the
community to help feed her, provide her with education, as well as
basic medical care and hygiene education.
48% of earnings donated

37. Proportion of Earnings Donated
50%
40%
30%
20%
10%
Emotional
Small,
Loewenstein
&
Slovic
Rational
Combination
0%

38. Closeness:
Proximity to the victim; feeling of kinship
with them.
Vividness:
Detail, description, ‘colour’.
Drop-in-the-bucket:
Can I make a difference?

39. Dan
Ariely,
The
Upside
of
Irra,onality

40. Stories
Rebirth
Tragedy
Comedy
Voyage and Return
The Quest
Rags to Riches

41. Overcoming the Monster

43. H/T to @markyphillips (queerideas.co.uk)

44. How can you make your appeal sticky

45. The copywriter’s toolbox

46. Geroge Orwell
Politics and the English Language
(1946)
1.
Never use a metaphor, simile or other figure of speech which
you are used to seeing in print.
2.
Never use a long word when a short one will do.
3.
If it is possible to cut a word out, always cut it out.
4.
Never use the passive where you can use the active.
5.
Never use a foreign phrase, a scientific word or a jargon word
if you can think of an everyday English equivalent.
6.
Break any of these rules sooner than say anything outright
barbarous.

47. Geroge Smith
Asking Properly
(1996)
Use Saxon words not Latin
Indicate
Show
Information
News, facts
Immediately
Now, right away
Construct
Build, make
Discover
Find

48. Geroge Smith
Asking Properly
(1996)
Use vivid words and not hackneyed ones
Use short sentences and vary the lengths
Use short paragraphs and vary the lengths

49. Geroge Smith
Asking Properly
(1996)
Get to the point!
“You are a charity. People expect you to be asking for money. So do
not delay this primary reason for communicating. Do not feel you
have to lead up to your vulgar request via 200 words of selfjustification, for nothing is more tiresome than an overlong
preamble to a predictable question.”

50. Geroge Smith
Asking Properly
(1996)
Use active verbs and not passive verbs
Donations are needed to complete this vital work
Will you make a donation to complete this vital work?

51. Geroge Smith
Asking Properly
(1996)
Relate the story to the reader
One in three of the population will suffer from cancer.
One in three of your friends and family will suffer from cancer.

52. Geroge Smith
Asking Properly
(1996)
Ask for money not support.
Use ‘I’ and ‘You’

53. “You” or “Your” is repeated
14 times on Page 1
(and donor’s name appears four times)

54. Geroge Smith
Asking Properly
(1996)
Does it sound like someone talking? If not, why not?

56. A few points about grammar.
It helps to know the rules. But you can break the
rules.
You can start a sentence with ‘And’ or ‘But’
And you can have a sentence without a verb.
(Like this.)
A sentence can be one word long.
A paragraph can be one word long. Or one sentence
long.

57. More tips for direct response copy
Long copy almost always beats short copy
Appeal on the basis of benefits, not needs (or features)
Tell people exactly what you want them to do
(make a gift of €25 today)...
... And make it as easy as possible for them to do it.
PS: Always include a PS - it’s usually read first and
most often

58. More tips for direct response copy
You can drive up response by using...
... urgency
... deadlines
... targets

59. More tips for direct response copy
Use a large font (12pt or larger) and a serif typeface
Indent paragraphs and vary their length
Break up the text with sub-heads, bold, underline,
italics, images, handwritten notes

62. 62

63. 63

64. 64

65. 65

66. 66

68. Putting it all into practice...

69. Start by writing the response device.

70. Next, write the outer envelope.

71. Now, write the lead.

72. Finally, write the letter.

73. THANK YOU
Damian O’Broin
Annetta Murphy
damian@askdirect.ie
annetta@askdirect.ie
@damianobroin
@annettamurphy
slideshare.net/damianob
www.askdirect.ie