1. Children Without Fathers, A Societal Epidemic
By: David Julian, MSW, LSW
Certified School Social Worker
Introduction
Fatherlessness is the most harmful demographic trend of this generation. It is the
leading cause of declining child well-being in our society,(Blakenhorn 1999). More and
more of our children are growing up in homes without fathers. One of the saddest truths
of the decline of the American family unit is the fact that many of our children will grow
up without a father, even though their physical father is still alive. What effects does this
societal problem have on children? “Almost anything that can happen to a child occurs
with much greater frequency to the children of divorce and those that live in single parent
families,” (Blakenhorn, 1999). This article will explore in depth the effects
fatherlessness has on children. “The decline of fatherhood is a major force behind many
of the most disturbing problems that plague America,” (Blakenhorn, 1999).
Effects of fatherlessness can be seen all around us. Put on the television or pick
up a current Newspaper or news magazine, and one will inevitably find a story involving
a fatherless child. Often this child is not in the news for what society considers a good
reason. The national Ad Council has had past campaigns entitled, “Fatherhood
Initiative”. If fatherlessness was not such a problem, such a campaign would not exist.
The fact that the National Ad Council felt there was a need for such a campaign, is proof
enough that America is facing a fatherlessness crisis.
Research has proven that more often than not, a child from a fatherless home is
more likely to grow up in poverty and will end up in trouble with the law. The most
frightening societal consequence of fatherlessness is the rise of male violence, the most
easily measureable is the rise of child poverty, (Blakenhorn, 1999). Research confirms
what dads and kids tell us, “fathers are important in the lives of their children and,
children help men ‘grow-up’ too.”
Fatherlessness
What is fatherlessness? Obviuosly every child has a father. What is meant by
fatherlessness is a child without an involved father in his or her life. A broken home if
you will. Most children today, fit into this category as divorce rates continue to grow in
America. In 1999, it was estimated by researchers that approximately 40% of American
children, would go to sleep in homes in which a father did not live. In today’s families, it
is estimated that one half of all children will live in homes without their fathers during
their school years, (Shapiro, 1993).
What constitutes a fatherless child? A child whose father is not involved in the
life of the child, both emotionally and usually physically. Children can be fatherless but
be receiving child support.

2. For this article, all children that were considered to be fatherless were children
who still resided with their mothers. This research did not take into account effects on
children that had neither parent, or a father as a result of death and/or child abuse/neglect
removals. Therefore, children that are part of the nation’s foster care system are not
included in this research. The research conducted for this project also did not include
children who became fatherless as a result of the father’s death, with the exception of a
drug addicted father.
Children need both paternal and maternal figures in their lives while growing up.
Children growing up in a home without a father seem to suffer more negative
consequences than children growing up in families without a mother. American fathers
reportedly spend on average 42 minutes a day with their four year olds, while mothers
spend 11 hours with them even if they work.
Was your dad someone you want to use as a role model? Was he the type of
father you know you don’t want to be? Did your father support and nurture you when
you were a child or was he absent? These are things to consider, because the truth is, the
relationship you had with your father when you were young, is going to influence the
relationship you have with your children. 89 percent of eight to 12 year olds report
having “enough time” with their mothers, while 24 percent reported not having enough
with their fathers. Unfortunately, most fathers that reside with their children, do not
know how to be fathers and be involved with their children. Often, the father is too
involved in television and “hanging out” with their friends to be bothered with spending
time with their children.
Lets look at some startling statistics from the nearly 22% of American children of
fatherless homes, these children are:
• five times more likely to commit suicide
• 32 times more likely to run away
• 20 times more likely to have behavioral problems
• 14 times more likely to commit rape (boys)
• nine times more likely to drop out of high school
• 10 times more likely to abuse substances
• 20 times more likely to be incarcerated
You may ask yourself what these statistics really mean? Let us look at it more closely.
Note that these are quite alarming numbers:
• 63% of youth suicides are from fatherless homes
• 90% of all homeless and runaway children are fatherless
• 85% of children exhibiting behavior problems are fatherless
• 80% of rapists with displaced anger are fatherless
• 71% of high school dropouts are fatherless
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3. • 75% of in patient substance abusers were fatherless
• 85% of youths in prison are fatherless
Ask yourself the following question. Is your father a real man? In one study, children
were asked the question of if they thought their fathers were “real men”?
One says that her father has barely said a word to her for two
years. Another says that after her parents divorce, her father
‘had the right to see me every other weekend, and stopped it,
without explaining why’. She did not see her father for ten
years, and then one day he showed up at school. ‘I saw him for
about 15 minutes. All he said was ‘sorry’ and then he left
again’. (Louv, 1993).
Is fatherlessness viewed as a problem by the greater society? According to a 1996
Gallup Pole, 79.1% of Americans feel “the most significant family or social problem
facing America today is the physical absence of the father from the home.” That number
was up from 69.9% in 1992 (Gallup Pole ’96, National Center for Fathering). Today it is
estimated that approximately 19 million American children are growing up in homes
without fathers present. In July of 1994, Vice President of the United States, Al Gore,
issued a challenge to 1,000 community leaders gathered in Nashville, “Beginning here
today, I am asking you to join me in launching a nationwide Father to Father movement.
There are new, young fathers struggling with every facet of their role, from changing
diapers to finding the job that can support their sons and daughters. There are mature
experienced fathers who would love to volunteer to help them, let’s bring them together.”
Subsequently, Father to Father was formed, so, it seems that fatherlessness is a societal
problem.
Structure 1970 1980 1990 1997
Two Parent 85 % 77 % 73 % 68 %
Single Head 12 20 25 28
Mother Only 11 18 22 24
Father Only 1 2 3 4
Poverty
Fatherlessness is a problem that affects every race and every class of children.
Studies have proven that a majority of the children affected by fatherlessness have grown
up in poverty, however. In regards to poverty, it has been estimated that approximately
40% of children from Divorce and 65% of children of never married mothers live well
below the poverty line.
Overall, and at a most basic level, the presence of a father in a home yields
significant economic benefits for all family members. When it comes to children,
however, it is not enough for a child to just have the presence of a father in the home a
child needs the actual role of the father fulfilled. A father needs to be just that, a “father”.
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4. Remember anyone can be a dad, but it really takes something, someone special to be a
“FATHER”. What is a father? Margaret Mead has called him a “biological necessity, but
a social accident.”
In Single Mothers and Their Children, Irwin Garfinkle & Sara S. McLanahan
succinctly summarize the evidence: Families headed by single women, with children, are
the poorest of all major demographic groups, regardless of how poverty is measured,
(Blakenhorn, 1999).
The proportion of children living in two-parent homes declined from 85% to 68%
from 1970 – 1997. Along with that decline, there were changes in the poverty level of
children. In 1997, it was estimated that there were nine million white and four million
black children, living in poverty.
Race 1978 1997
White 9 % 13 %
Black 34 % 30 %
Hispanic 24 % 30 %
Race
Most studies done today, look at the separate races as part of a whole. I too,
therefore, shall look at individual races as being part of the greater societal problem.
Today, only 36% of African-American children live in a two-parent family. The main
reason cited for this is claimed to be the legacy and vestiges of slavery. Let us take a
look at some interesting figures
1880 Philadelphia (Two Parent Family)
African-American 75.2%
Irish 82.2%
German 84.5%
Native White 73.1%
Other large cities such as Detroit, New York & Cleveland, have roughly the same
statistics.
According to “The Black Family in Slavery & Freedom, 1750 – 1925” five out of
six children under the age of six years lived with both parents. That study also found: In
1905-1925 Harlem, New York, three percent (3%) of all families were headed by a
woman under the age of 30 and that 85% of all black children lived in two parent
families.
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5. Over half of all black children lived with only one parent
in 1997
Senator Daniel Patrick Moynihan has been quoted as saying: “From the wild Irish
slums of the 19th
century Eastern Seaboard, to the riot-torn suburbs of Los Angeles, there
is one mistakable lesson in American history: A community that allows a large number of
men to grow up in broken families, dominated by women, never acquiring any stable
male authority, never acquiring any rational expectations about the future-that
community asks for and gets chaos, crime, violence, unrest, unrestrained lashing out at
the whole social structure-these are not only to be expected, they are very nearly
inevitable, (The Negro Family: The Case for National Action, US Department of Labor).
Academics
Not only is the child affected economically, some children are also affected
academically by the physical absence of a father. Kids with involved fathers do better in
school, than kids with less connected dads, (Dr. Pruett, FamilyEducation.Com). Children
with these more involved or better connected fathers are said to perform better
academically. Along with better academics, children with more involved fathers tend to
be better social learners. These children also tend to express more satisfaction with
school and with friends. Basically, it can be said that having a father, more importantly
an involved father, is an enduring resource for children. Social workers, psychologists,
mentors & life skills instructors can frequently help children, but they can not even begin
to do the work of a father, (Blakenhorn, 1999).
This is not to say that children of uninvolved fathers are going to do poor in
school, but research does support that notion. Some not so involved fathers may even
encourage children to not finish school, or to not attend college, adding to the lack of
confidence children have today regarding education. While working within the New
Jersey Juvenile Justice Commission, Education Department, nine out of ten youth that
were interviewed and asked for the name of a guardian, stated that their guardian was
their mother and made no mention of their father.
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6. Single Mothers
More and more single mothers are raising our children. When raising a son, you
need to nurture the father within. Basically, we need to teach our sons to be good fathers.
Raising a son to be a good father in a two-parent home is still a challenge. It becomes a
learning experience for men who are not guided or encouraged by their own fathers. Lets
face it, single mothers can not teach a boy how to be a father. For many single mothers,
however, the task of raising their sons and knowing what it takes to be a good father, falls
solely on their shoulders. Children need a male role model in their lives, not just their
mothers.
Emotionally absent fathers are also not “good” role models for their children.
Children that have emotionally absent fathers will also not learn what the role of a father
is. They will not have the opportunity to learn how to be loving, and nurturing,
especially once they themselves become fathers.
Types of Fathers Today
Today, unfortunately, there is more than one category of fathers. Fathers, for this
article have been grouped into two categories: 1) Visiting and 2) Dead-beat. The names
of these categories are self explanatory.
Dead-beat
The dead-beat father, is a father who previously was involved with the life of their
child, but has since “walked out”. The dead-beat father is a father who since walking out
on the child, has had no contact with their child. Dead-beat fathers are fathers who are
negligent in child support payments. The dead-beat dad, “has emerged as our principle
cultural model for ex-fathers, for obviously failed fathers,” (Blakenhorn, 127). This is
not a fact that fathers in our society should be proud of, or take pride in knowing.
Unfortunately, however, the dead-beat dad is becoming more and more popular within
our society. The core issue of a dead-beat father is the absence of money in the
household for the child, resulting from the father’s absence. For the child, having a dead-
beat father is just as bad if not worse than not ever knowing who their father was.
The rise of the dead-beat father can be seen by looking at our Child Support
system within the nation. More and more of our fathers are becoming negligent in their
payments and are in arrears. While working for a local probation department I had 610
active child support cases. Out of those cases, I would have to say that at least three
quarters (¾) of the cases involved fathers who were in arrears in payments. What does
this number say about our fathers?
Visiting Fathers
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7. Now this at least sounds better than the previous category. Well, it is better, but
still not as good as having the father living at home, assisting with the child rearing
process. Children of visiting fathers do not suffer nearly as many negative consequences
as children who never see their fathers.
“A perfect example of a visiting father was exemplified in the 1993 movie, ‘Mrs.
Doubtfire’,” (Blakenhorn, 165). This movie portrayed the father still as a loving father,
who just could not be with his children all the time due to marital problems. However,
this particular father, continued to visit and see his children on a regular basis. That is
not to say that fathers today should dress up as elderly women and get their ex-wives to
hire them as a nanny for the children.
Physical absence VS Emotional Absence
Far more common than physical absence and often even more harmful in a family
is a father’s emotional absence. Often, emotionally unexpressive fathers are men who are
unaware of their own inner life (Shapiro, 1993). It is hard for a child to understand the
fact that a father may be in the home, but really not there for his children. This can be
seen in the families where the mother and father remain together just for the children,
residing in the same home and living separate lives. Usually the children end up with an
emotionally absent father. The father, unlike the mother, does not know how to
incorporate the children into his life, separate and apart from their mother. Most of these
fathers tend to say that, their father was an emotionally absent father and that they just
don’t know how to be there for their children. However, this is just an excuse on the part
of the father. If these fathers were interested in being part of their children’s lives, they
would be.
Children of emotionally absent fathers will often look to other male figures in
their lives to fill the role of their father. These children, may also even begin to consider
these other men their father and begin referring to them as such.
Fatherless Children
Boys and girls suffer differently from not having a father. It means something
different to be a son and not have a father then it does to be a daughter and not have a
father. It is important to remember that fatherlessness due to the death of the father, is
not being addressed by this article, rather this article is addressing the fatherless fathers
by choice. Whatever causes the separation, both sons and daughters miss out on some
important learning in childhood when their dads are not present.
Sons who were unable to incorporate some sense of adult male role models tend
to be over-dependent or distant and fearful of intimacy (Shapiro, 1993). These children
tend to have numerous failed relationships, if they are able to develop relationships at all.
While daughters with physically absent fathers suffer differently. Having no appropriate
male role models, they do not learn about how men normally communicate feelings.
Later in life, they frequently find their male partners unreasonable or unfair in
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8. relationships. Adult daughters of physically absent fathers commonly relent to often in
relationships only to subsequently resent and rebel aggressively. These daughters also
tend to end up in abusive relationships.
Expect different children to have varied reactions and be careful not to assume
that the quiet child or well behaved child needs less attention than others. Young children
tend to blame themselves for the separation of mother, father and children. The younger
child will place the blame on themselves for the breakup of the family. Older children
will exhibit the following: sadness, difficulty in eating and sleeping, will be emotional,
and tend to be clingy. The teenage child will spend more time in their room, be
disrespectful, rude, moody, confused, distant, and rebellious (Klatte, 1999).
There have been several fatherless children that have grown up to be very
successful adults. I would like to take this opportunity to acknowledge a few of them.
Lance Armstrong, three time winner of the Tour de France (TDF). Lance is the only
American to ever win the TDF five years in a row. Lance grew up without a father.
Lance and his mother had several difficult trying years, up to and including his battle
with testicular cancer at the age of 25, at which time Lance almost died.
Another individual that has overcome great obstacles in his life without the
assistance of a father is David Pelzer. David grew up in California in the 1970’s prior to
the current stringent child protection laws. David was the most severe case of child abuse
in California history. David’s father was an alcoholic and too afraid to stand up to
David’s abusive mother. David’s father subsequently left the family. David suffered
years of emotional and physical abuse and neglect at the hands of his mother. However,
David has survived, grown up, become a successful author, and has a son that he
absolutely adores. David is an example that a fatherless child can break that cycle if they
so desire.
Throughout the research for this article, I had the opportunity to speak with
several fatherless children and their mothers. I will summarize their thoughts on this
topic. For confidentiality reasons, their names are obviously being withheld.
When asked what people saw as the consequences they see of father absence from
the home, the responses seemed to be consistent across the board. Responses included:
Lack of a male role model, lack of financial assistance for the mother, lack of emotional
support / guidance, that daughters failed to have an example of a good male/female
relationship. One very insightful respondent noted the social acceptance of this absence
and the further perpetuation and repetition of the problem.
Conclusion
Fatherless children are the greatest societal problem facing America and more
specifically Americas’ children today. Father absence is one of the greatest social
problems we now face. Although there is a push for fathers and the idea of fatherhood,
society is still in danger of being overwhelmingly, fatherless. Fatherlessness is if not the
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9. most, one of the most damaging of our generations societal problems. Fatherless children
tend to live in poverty set apart from their peers of two-parent families. It should be
reinforced to fathers that children need their fathers and in many ways, fathers need their
children too.
“Why does living without a father pose such hazards for children? Two
explanations are usually given: the children receive less supervision and protection from
the men their mothers bring home and they are also more emotionally deprived, which
leaves them vulnerable to sexual abuses,” (Blakenhorn, 1999).
Something needs to be done to stop the cycle of fatherlessness. Father to Father
seeks to do just that and stop the cycle. There needs to be more attention given to this
problem and there needs to be some consequence levied against the fathers that are
perpetuating this social ill of fatherlessness.
Remember for every child that is living in poverty due to fatherlessness, the
society is more than likely supporting both that child and mother in the form of assistance
through the local social services office.
“There are fathers who do not love their children; there is no grandfather who does not
love his grandson.” – Victor Hugo
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10. References
Blakenhorn, David, Life Without Father. USA Weekend, February 24-26, 1995.
Blakenhorn, David, (1999) Fatherless America; Confronting Our Most Urgent Social
Problem. New York: Basic Books.
Jenson, Jeffery and Howard, Matthew, (1999) Youth Violence- Current Research and
Recent Practice Innovations. Washington, DC: NASW Press.
Klatte, William C. (1999) Live Away Dad’s. New York: Penguin Books.
Lauv, Richard, (1993) Fatherlove. New York: Pocket Books.
Pollack, William S. (2000) Real Boys’ Voices. New York: Random House.
Pruett, Dr. Kyle The Father Factor www.familyeducation.com
Rutter, Michael; Giller, Henri and Hagell, Ann (1998) Antisocial Behaviors by Young
People. New York: Cambridge University Press.
Shapiro, Jerold (1993) The Measure of a Man: Becoming the Father You Wish Your
Father Had Been. New York: Delacrote Press.
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