The document is a newsletter that uses basketball positions as an analogy to describe the structure and function of cell organelles. It summarizes each organelle and its role in the cell, comparing it to a position on a basketball team (e.g. the nucleus is likened to the point guard that assists the team). After each summary, it provides a price to "purchase" that organelle. The newsletter contains summaries of the cell membrane, cytoplasm, nucleus, smooth ER, ribosomes, rough ER, vacuole, Golgi apparatus, mitochondria, and centriole.

1. Sports Cell Weekly
By: Ezra Najman-Franks
1/6/14
7X
Sports Agent

2. Cell Membrane
On a basketball team you need someone to protect the basket. The center
does this by blocking shots from opponents and also pushing them out
physically. The center controls who is allowed in and who is supposed to go
out of the paint.
Just like a center the cell membrane controls what enters and leaves the
cell. It helps the cell stay healthy as the center keeps his team ahead.
Without a cell membrane you will get many viruses that will not be stopped
on their way into the cell. Without the cell membrane you could very well
pass away.
This is a 1600000 dollar value for only 1200000 dollars
THAT IS A DEAL FOLKS

3. Cytoplasm
On a basketball team you need a power forward to keep the
ball safe and hold it while the rest of the team is running
plays.
Just like the power forward the cytoplasm is a safe place to
keep things that the rest of the cell/team needs.
Why do I need this you ask?
Well without the cytoplasm you would have nowhere to put
your important things inside the cell.
We are giving you this for 100000 dollars

4. Nucleus
On a basketball team there is something called a point
guard that is usually the team captain. It assists everyone
around it and gets the team involved.
Just like a point guard the nucleus assists everyone around
it, with points not with energy.
You need a nucleus because without energy none of the
other organelles can function and the nucleus distributes
that energy.
This is a 25 % off deal for 200000 dollars.
ANOTHER GREAT DEAL

5. Smooth ER
On a basketball team there is something called a
shooting guard. What it is supposed to do is create
scoring opportunities for its team.
The Smooth ER helps the cell with creating products
for the cell (creating opportunities to score).
Selling for the great price of 188,000

6. Ribosomes
There is a position on a basketball team called small forward.
The small forward must produce points for his team.
The Ribosomes produce energy for the rest of the cell and also
keeps the cell healthy.
You need this because without ribosomes there will be no
energy to give out. As I said before that does not let any of the
other organelles function.
169000.99

7. Rough ER
On a basketball team you also need a backup Point
guard to help out with the assists too. His main job is
to pass not to score.
The Rough ER helps transmit materials through the
cell.
This is a great deal for 100000 dollars 

8. Vacuole
There is always a defensive specialist on a basketball team who
guards the other teams best player.
What the vacuole does is it isolates any threat and makes sure it
does not do harm.
Without a vacuole there will be strong viruses coming in left
and right unidentified. That can kill you.
180000 dollars

9. Golgi apparatus
There is always a backup power forward on a team. This is the
role that the Golgi apparatus plays. The backup power forward
is supposed to protect the ball while the team is running plays.
The Golgi apparatus packages proteins in side the cell and
protects the protein while the rest of the cell is doing work.
Without a Golgi apparatus your protein will get feasted upon by
a virus or disease
130000 dollars

10. Mitochondria
The mitochondria is equivalent to the basketball team’s backup small
forward. So it has to score points.
The mitochondria are the cells power producers. So the cell can stay
healthy.
You need a Mitochondria because without this organelle your cell will
be easily found by viruses and could lead to serious injury if not death.
120000 dollars

11. Centriole
Is a backup shooting guard on a basketball team. What it does is does is
it creates opportunities to score by double teaming opponents and
stealing the ball then driving to the basket.
They separate during cell division and form a mitotic spindle.
Without a centriole your cells will never reproduce and your body will
never grow.
98000 dollars