1. How do I become better at controlling emotions?
How much (if any) control do you have over your emotions?
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Let me explain to you the underlying theory which guides us to take the decision/act in a certain
manner/ interact with others.
Actions based on rationality/ cognitive action- wherein we tend to remain logical and act on the
basis of pros and cons i.e. in order to maximize the outcome in our favor.
Traditional action- wherein we act not because we want to but because we are made to. The
culture of society in which we live guides us to behave in a certain predefined manner.
Emotional Action- wherein our underlying emotions be it good or bad, harmful or beneficial
guides us. Here we could not remain all logical and practical and act in order to attain certain
emotions. For example we tend to cross all our boundaries in order to make room as per our
girlfriend’s liking and disliking in order to ensure that our relationship remains strong, driven by
the emotions of love.
We fuck up because our emotional quotient is high, guiding our daily behaviour. Controlling your
emotions is an art and requires constant training of your mind in order to achieve a state where
you start not reacting based on emotions and see emotions just the way they are. You
understand those emotions, apply your rational mind and regulate your actions. This is what we
call Emotional Intelligence (EI).
Meditation is one solution for every problem.
The way it works is that it helps you to regulate your emotions and teaches you how not to react
based on emotions. It helps you understand the truth of impermanence i.e. nothing is
permanent and everything keeps on changing and that the emotions which you are feeling right
now is temporary and it will change. Knowing that nothing is permanent, you understand how
not to react to these changing realities.
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By practicing meditation, you learn to segregate emotions which truly matter from the ripples of
emotions you experience every now and then. Our brain is nurtured in such a manner that it
keeps on thinking useless stuff and develops certain emotions in reaction to those stuffs
2. creating a ripple of emotions. Meditation helps you calm this ripple and what is left are the
emotions which are important.
Understand that your thoughts are the basis of your emotions and thus if you control your
thoughts you may control your emotions. Lesser the thoughts, lesser the useless emotions,
greater the clarity in life and better the actions and decisions you make.
By not reacting to these emotions, you may become emotionally intelligent.
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