Emotional Intelligence Primer

Helping Leaders drive change and innovation!
McLaughlin Consulting Services Rich@Mclaughlincommunity.com
609-577-3072
1
Rich McLaughlin
McLaughlin Consulting Services
Rich@mclaughlincommunity.com
Emotional Intelligence Primer

609-577-3072
2
“Organizations where ego is poorly managed, then
have to attract talent primarily by pay, missing the
opportunity to attract talent by the opportunities for
growth the company provides or the desire people
have to work there. The ripple effect is that
companies become less competitive and are
marginalized by the lack of talent.”
David Marcum
Opening Thought

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Opening Thought
~ Daniel Goleman, Harvard
“The best bosses are people who are trustworthy, empathic,
and connected, who make us feel calm, appreciated and
inspired. People who feel their boss provides a secure base,
are more free to explore, be playful, take risks, innovate and
take on new challenges. And if leaders establish such trust and
safety, then when they give tough feedback, the person
receiving it not only stays more open but sees benefit in getting
even hard to take information.”

609-577-3072
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Emotional Intelligence
• Self Awareness
• Managing your emotions
• Motivating oneself
• Recognizing emotions in others
• Social Skills
You
Others

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Spinal cord enters brain here
Limbic
System
(I feel here)
I Think
Rationally
(way over here)
“Since our brains are wired to make us emotional creatures, your first
reaction to an event is always going to be an emotional one.”
~ T. Bradberry and J. Greaves, Emotional Intelligence 2.0

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Rich
shuts
down

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Known
to me
Unknown
to me
Known by others Unknown by others
Seek Feedback
Build trust or..
Public
Self
Hidden
Potential
Blind
Spot
Private
Self
Self-Awareness – Johari Window
have them
make it up!

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Seeking Feedback
1) Make a live appeal – “Could really use your help here..”
2) Have trusted person send out survey
• What is ________doing that you appreciate and want _____to CONTINUE
to do?
• What would you like ______to STOP doing/do less of?
• What would you like ___________ to START doing/do more of?
3) Review data and
4) Thank them and ask if they would come to a
clarification meeting facilitated by X
5) Attend and listen and make agreements there or
sleep on it and get back to them
do NOT put an action plan together

609-577-3072
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Known
to me
Unknown
to me
Known by others Unknown by others
Seek Feedback
Build trust or..
Public
Self
Hidden
Potential
Blind
Spot
Private
Self
have them
make it up!

609-577-3072
10
How Personal?
1) On a scale of 1-10 how personal does it feel here?
“1”
People are
hesitant to
share anything
personal here/
Myself included
“10”
People here
know and care
about each other
and are unafraid
to share what’s
going on for
them
2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9
2) How personal would I like it to be?
2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 101

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Social Awareness
Self Awareness
Managing your emotions
Motivating oneself
Recognizing emotions in others
Social Skills

609-577-3072
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High
Low
• Energy
Required
Ignoring
Pretend Listening
Selective Listening
Attentive Listening
Empathy
• Relationship
Built
Sympathy
Empathy vs. Sympathy

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“A critical task of leadership is to protect space for the
expression of people’s doubts. The act of surfacing doubts
and dissent does not deflect the communal intention to
create something new. What is critical, and hard to live
with, is that leaders do not have to respond to each
person’s doubts. All we have to do with the doubts of
others is get interested in them. We do not have to take
them on or let them resonate with our own doubts.”
~ Peter Block

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To what degree is it ok to
express doubts here?

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1. Be aware of your emotions and ask for help to manage
them
2. Ask for feedback periodically
3. Look for opportunities to “let others in” and be vulnerable
4. Choose empathy/avoid sympathy
5. Encourage airing of doubts without judgement

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"All businesses have one thing in common. They are
made up of people. If you treat your people correctly,
the business should operate more smoothly. This is
true of all businesses, manufacturing and service
alike, but it is particularly true of service industries,
for human beings are the most critical element.
Andy Law
Founder, St. Luke’s
Advertising Agency
Closing Thoughts

Emotional Intelligence Primer

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