Emotional Intelligence
                             Playing with a full deck



                                by Noa Peri-Jensch
                                   Newport Beach, CA
                                    January 29, 2013




Tuesday, January 29, 13
The flea and the Elephant




Tuesday, January 29, 13
Tuesday, January 29, 13
Tuesday, January 29, 13
Tuesday, January 29, 13
The flea and the Elephant

                           The Flea       = Conscious Mind
                          Logic
                          Planning
                          Abstract
                          Analysis and reflection




Tuesday, January 29, 13
The flea and the Elephant


                           The Elephant          = Subconscious Mind
                          Instant gratification, in the “now”
                          Loyalty
                          Protection for self and others
                          Motivated action




Tuesday, January 29, 13
The flea and the Elephant




Tuesday, January 29, 13
The flea and the Elephant


                          IQ




Tuesday, January 29, 13
The flea and the Elephant


                          IQ   EI




Tuesday, January 29, 13
We will explore
    •Understanding the role of emotions and how they
    relate to emotional intelligence


    •How to be use EI for success in our work and lives


    •Harnessing Emotions: Anger/Anxiety



Tuesday, January 29, 13
Conscious and Subconscious




Tuesday, January 29, 13
Conscious and Subconscious

                           IQ




Tuesday, January 29, 13
Conscious and Subconscious

                           IQ



                           EI




Tuesday, January 29, 13
Our amazing brain




Tuesday, January 29, 13
Tuesday, January 29, 13
Meet the EI family and EI abilities




Tuesday, January 29, 13
Meet the EI family and EI abilities

Knowing one’s emotions


Managing emotions


Motivating oneself


Recognizing emotions in others


Handling relationships



Tuesday, January 29, 13
Meet the EI family and EI abilities

Knowing one’s emotions


Managing emotions


Motivating oneself


Recognizing emotions in others


Handling relationships



Tuesday, January 29, 13
Meet the EI family and EI abilities

Knowing one’s emotions           Are you self aware?



Managing emotions


Motivating oneself


Recognizing emotions in others


Handling relationships



Tuesday, January 29, 13
Meet the EI family and EI abilities

Knowing one’s emotions           Are you self aware?



Managing emotions


Motivating oneself


Recognizing emotions in others


Handling relationships



Tuesday, January 29, 13
Meet the EI family and EI abilities

Knowing one’s emotions           Are you self aware?



Managing emotions                Can you self-regulate?



Motivating oneself


Recognizing emotions in others


Handling relationships



Tuesday, January 29, 13
Meet the EI family and EI abilities

Knowing one’s emotions           Are you self aware?



Managing emotions                Can you self-regulate?



Motivating oneself


Recognizing emotions in others


Handling relationships



Tuesday, January 29, 13
Meet the EI family and EI abilities

Knowing one’s emotions           Are you self aware?



Managing emotions                Can you self-regulate?



Motivating oneself               What will motivate you?



Recognizing emotions in others


Handling relationships



Tuesday, January 29, 13
Meet the EI family and EI abilities

Knowing one’s emotions           Are you self aware?



Managing emotions                Can you self-regulate?



Motivating oneself               What will motivate you?



Recognizing emotions in others


Handling relationships



Tuesday, January 29, 13
Meet the EI family and EI abilities

Knowing one’s emotions           Are you self aware?



Managing emotions                Can you self-regulate?



Motivating oneself               What will motivate you?



Recognizing emotions in others   Are you aware how others are feeling



Handling relationships



Tuesday, January 29, 13
Meet the EI family and EI abilities

Knowing one’s emotions           Are you self aware?



Managing emotions                Can you self-regulate?



Motivating oneself               What will motivate you?



Recognizing emotions in others   Are you aware how others are feeling



Handling relationships



Tuesday, January 29, 13
Meet the EI family and EI abilities

Knowing one’s emotions           Are you self aware?



Managing emotions                Can you self-regulate?



Motivating oneself               What will motivate you?



Recognizing emotions in others   Are you aware how others are feeling


                                 Do you have the social skills to help
Handling relationships           others change feelings? Would you be
                                 willing?


Tuesday, January 29, 13
Manage your emotions -                            dealing with stress



  Life events are not the whole story. Even with numerous life
  events in the last 12 months some individuals thrive while
  many others get ill.

  Resilience and our ability to manage our own
  emotions determine in part who gets sick from too much
  stress

  Even if you are not worried about getting sick, wouldn’t each of
  us want to know how to manage emotional situations
  and emotional people more effectively?


Tuesday, January 29, 13
EI and You
                          How are you feeling?
                          How do you want to feel?
                          How are others feeling?
                          Why are you and other feel the way you do?
                          What can you do about it?
                          What will you do?




Tuesday, January 29, 13
Managing Emotions


                                Stimulus   Response




    Source: Dr. Stephen Covey
Tuesday, January 29, 13
Managing Emotions



             Stimulus             Freedom to Choose           Response
                                   According to your values
                                                              ability




      Source: Dr. Stephen Covey
Tuesday, January 29, 13
Personal Application
      Think about a situation in your work or personal life that
      frustrates you and that you tend to respond to with low EI.



      Identify the circumstances, moods, or feelings that act as
      stimulus to the responses you have in this situation
                          Stimulus            Response




      Source: Dr. Stephen Covey
Tuesday, January 29, 13
Theories of determinism

      Genetic                     - traits we inherited

      Psychic                     - our upbringing

      Environmental - our surroundings




      Source: Dr. Stephen Covey
Tuesday, January 29, 13
The four human endowments

    Self Awareness - Examine thoughts, moods, and behaviors

    Imagination                   - Visualizing beyond experience and present reality

  Conscience                      - Understanding right and wrong, and following
  personal integrity

  Independent Will - Acting independent of external influence



      Source: Dr. Stephen Covey
Tuesday, January 29, 13
Managing Emotions
                          Yours & Key Others
             What emotions do you have difficulty managing?

              Anger
              Losing
              Sadness                                 Breathing
              Loneliness
              Letting go                              Humor
              Intimacy
              Failure                                 Emotional Roadmap
              Fear




Tuesday, January 29, 13
Personal Application
          Think of best leader(s) you know

                           •What are the qualities that make
                             this person or people great
                             leaders?

                           •Of the qualities you admire
                             which of them seem related to
                             emotional Intelligence?


Tuesday, January 29, 13
Kevin Roberts -                  CEO, Saatchi & Saatchi Worldwise


  How do you go beyond the brand?

      A lovemark is a brand that generates loyalty beyond reason; infused with
      mystery, sensuality and intimacy, and it has some kind of iconic place in your
      heart.

      “I live in Tribeca NY. IF you learve the office on a Friday and go to a bar with
      your IBM thinkpad or Dell, you will leave alone. If you walk in with an iPod or
      an iBook, you’ll be part of the crowd, because Steve Jobs made Apple a
      Lovemark. We have seven iPods in our family. All the kids have them; We’re
      iTunes-mad. We’re loyal to Mac..and there is no reason for that whatsoever.”




Tuesday, January 29, 13
Emotional Relationships
       Ken and Andy have been good friends for over 10 years. Recently however, Andy was promoted
       and became Ken’s manager. Ken felt the new promotion had changed Andy in that Andy had
       become very bossy to him. how effective would Ken be in maintaining a good relationship, if he
       chose to respond in the following ways?



       Response 1: Ken tried to understand Andy’s new role and tried to adjust to the changes in their
       interactions.

       a.Very ineffective          b. somewhat ineffective   c. neutral   d. somewhat effective   e. very effective



       Response 2: Ken approached Andy and confronted him regarding the change in his behavior

       a.Very ineffective          b. somewhat ineffective   c. neutral   d. somewhat effective   e. very effective



     Source: Charles J. Wolfe Associates, LLC

Tuesday, January 29, 13
Emotion Roadmap


                                                                                                        Execute
                                                   What is                     Gap
             What is?                                                                                      &
                                                   Ideal?                     Analysis
                                                                                                        Modify


    Who are all the people                  What feelings would be     How can you create the   What are we able to do?
           involved?                      ideal for each key person?     feelings you want?      What are we willing to
    How is each key person                                                                               do?
            feeling?




     Source: Charles J. Wolfe Associates, LLC

Tuesday, January 29, 13
Emotional Relationships

   You are Andy’s leader (Janet) and a member of Andy’s team tells you about Andy’s
   feelings. You decide to intervene. Use the emotion roadmap to help you to plan what to say
   to Andy, and possibly to Ken.




                                                                                                       Execute
                                                 What is                      Gap
           What is?                                                                                       &
                                                 Ideal?                      Analysis
                                                                                                       Modify

   Who are all the people                  What feelings would be     How can you create the   What are we able to do?
          involved?                      ideal for each key person?     feelings you want?      What are we willing to
   How is each key person                                                                               do?
           feeling?




   Source: Charles J. Wolfe Associates, LLC
Tuesday, January 29, 13
“We who lived in concentration camps can remember the men
       who walked throughout the huts comforting others, giving away
         their last piece of bread. They may have been few in number,
             but they offer sufficient proof that everything can be taken
                  away from a man but one thing: the last of the human
                     freedoms - to choose one’s attitude in any given set of
                           circumstances, to choose one’s own way”.
                                                           - Viktor Frankl, Man’s Search for Meaning
Tuesday, January 29, 13
Steps to emotional Intelligence

        • What is - who are the people involved? How
                each key person feeling?
        • What is ideal - What feelings would be ideal
                for each key person
        • How can you create the feelings you want?
        • What are we able to do?
        • What are we willing to do?
Tuesday, January 29, 13
Leadership and Management

          • Inspiring a shared vision (inspire, energize)
          • Encouraging the heart (engage, confidence)
          • Modeling the way (trust)
          • Enabling others (empower)
          • Challenging the process (open, risk taking)


Tuesday, January 29, 13
Use Emotions

          Certain emotions are better suited than others for
          achieving specific tasks. What is ideal to feel?
                          What emotion is most useful for:
                  •       Planning a wedding

                  •       Reviewing a spread sheet for errors

                  •       Making a presentation




Tuesday, January 29, 13
Keep in mind...

         • If you find yourself in a situation where your
                 emotions are not helping the situation, ask
                 yourself what would be the ideal feeling for
                 me here that will help the situation? and
                 continue from this point on.




Tuesday, January 29, 13
Keep in mind...


            • How do people experience me?
            • How do people experience themselves when
                   they are with me?




                   Leadership is about the impact...not your intentions



Tuesday, January 29, 13
Tasks/Facts                   Relationships




               Remember: feelings are facts!


Tuesday, January 29, 13
- Gandhi




Tuesday, January 29, 13
Be the change you want

                           to see in the world.    - Gandhi




Tuesday, January 29, 13
Thank You
             Please keep in touch. I am happy to hear about your learnings and successes

                                      Noa Peri-Jensch
                                       (702) 334-4075
                                                  Text

                          noa@theglobalmomentum.com
                          www.theglobalmomentum.com




Tuesday, January 29, 13

Emotional Intelligence

  • 1.
    Emotional Intelligence Playing with a full deck by Noa Peri-Jensch Newport Beach, CA January 29, 2013 Tuesday, January 29, 13
  • 2.
    The flea andthe Elephant Tuesday, January 29, 13
  • 3.
  • 4.
  • 5.
  • 6.
    The flea andthe Elephant The Flea = Conscious Mind Logic Planning Abstract Analysis and reflection Tuesday, January 29, 13
  • 7.
    The flea andthe Elephant The Elephant = Subconscious Mind Instant gratification, in the “now” Loyalty Protection for self and others Motivated action Tuesday, January 29, 13
  • 8.
    The flea andthe Elephant Tuesday, January 29, 13
  • 9.
    The flea andthe Elephant IQ Tuesday, January 29, 13
  • 10.
    The flea andthe Elephant IQ EI Tuesday, January 29, 13
  • 11.
    We will explore •Understanding the role of emotions and how they relate to emotional intelligence •How to be use EI for success in our work and lives •Harnessing Emotions: Anger/Anxiety Tuesday, January 29, 13
  • 12.
  • 13.
    Conscious and Subconscious IQ Tuesday, January 29, 13
  • 14.
    Conscious and Subconscious IQ EI Tuesday, January 29, 13
  • 15.
  • 16.
  • 17.
    Meet the EIfamily and EI abilities Tuesday, January 29, 13
  • 18.
    Meet the EIfamily and EI abilities Knowing one’s emotions Managing emotions Motivating oneself Recognizing emotions in others Handling relationships Tuesday, January 29, 13
  • 19.
    Meet the EIfamily and EI abilities Knowing one’s emotions Managing emotions Motivating oneself Recognizing emotions in others Handling relationships Tuesday, January 29, 13
  • 20.
    Meet the EIfamily and EI abilities Knowing one’s emotions Are you self aware? Managing emotions Motivating oneself Recognizing emotions in others Handling relationships Tuesday, January 29, 13
  • 21.
    Meet the EIfamily and EI abilities Knowing one’s emotions Are you self aware? Managing emotions Motivating oneself Recognizing emotions in others Handling relationships Tuesday, January 29, 13
  • 22.
    Meet the EIfamily and EI abilities Knowing one’s emotions Are you self aware? Managing emotions Can you self-regulate? Motivating oneself Recognizing emotions in others Handling relationships Tuesday, January 29, 13
  • 23.
    Meet the EIfamily and EI abilities Knowing one’s emotions Are you self aware? Managing emotions Can you self-regulate? Motivating oneself Recognizing emotions in others Handling relationships Tuesday, January 29, 13
  • 24.
    Meet the EIfamily and EI abilities Knowing one’s emotions Are you self aware? Managing emotions Can you self-regulate? Motivating oneself What will motivate you? Recognizing emotions in others Handling relationships Tuesday, January 29, 13
  • 25.
    Meet the EIfamily and EI abilities Knowing one’s emotions Are you self aware? Managing emotions Can you self-regulate? Motivating oneself What will motivate you? Recognizing emotions in others Handling relationships Tuesday, January 29, 13
  • 26.
    Meet the EIfamily and EI abilities Knowing one’s emotions Are you self aware? Managing emotions Can you self-regulate? Motivating oneself What will motivate you? Recognizing emotions in others Are you aware how others are feeling Handling relationships Tuesday, January 29, 13
  • 27.
    Meet the EIfamily and EI abilities Knowing one’s emotions Are you self aware? Managing emotions Can you self-regulate? Motivating oneself What will motivate you? Recognizing emotions in others Are you aware how others are feeling Handling relationships Tuesday, January 29, 13
  • 28.
    Meet the EIfamily and EI abilities Knowing one’s emotions Are you self aware? Managing emotions Can you self-regulate? Motivating oneself What will motivate you? Recognizing emotions in others Are you aware how others are feeling Do you have the social skills to help Handling relationships others change feelings? Would you be willing? Tuesday, January 29, 13
  • 29.
    Manage your emotions- dealing with stress Life events are not the whole story. Even with numerous life events in the last 12 months some individuals thrive while many others get ill. Resilience and our ability to manage our own emotions determine in part who gets sick from too much stress Even if you are not worried about getting sick, wouldn’t each of us want to know how to manage emotional situations and emotional people more effectively? Tuesday, January 29, 13
  • 30.
    EI and You How are you feeling? How do you want to feel? How are others feeling? Why are you and other feel the way you do? What can you do about it? What will you do? Tuesday, January 29, 13
  • 31.
    Managing Emotions Stimulus Response Source: Dr. Stephen Covey Tuesday, January 29, 13
  • 32.
    Managing Emotions Stimulus Freedom to Choose Response According to your values ability Source: Dr. Stephen Covey Tuesday, January 29, 13
  • 33.
    Personal Application Think about a situation in your work or personal life that frustrates you and that you tend to respond to with low EI. Identify the circumstances, moods, or feelings that act as stimulus to the responses you have in this situation Stimulus Response Source: Dr. Stephen Covey Tuesday, January 29, 13
  • 34.
    Theories of determinism Genetic - traits we inherited Psychic - our upbringing Environmental - our surroundings Source: Dr. Stephen Covey Tuesday, January 29, 13
  • 35.
    The four humanendowments Self Awareness - Examine thoughts, moods, and behaviors Imagination - Visualizing beyond experience and present reality Conscience - Understanding right and wrong, and following personal integrity Independent Will - Acting independent of external influence Source: Dr. Stephen Covey Tuesday, January 29, 13
  • 36.
    Managing Emotions Yours & Key Others What emotions do you have difficulty managing? Anger Losing Sadness Breathing Loneliness Letting go Humor Intimacy Failure Emotional Roadmap Fear Tuesday, January 29, 13
  • 37.
    Personal Application Think of best leader(s) you know •What are the qualities that make this person or people great leaders? •Of the qualities you admire which of them seem related to emotional Intelligence? Tuesday, January 29, 13
  • 38.
    Kevin Roberts - CEO, Saatchi & Saatchi Worldwise How do you go beyond the brand? A lovemark is a brand that generates loyalty beyond reason; infused with mystery, sensuality and intimacy, and it has some kind of iconic place in your heart. “I live in Tribeca NY. IF you learve the office on a Friday and go to a bar with your IBM thinkpad or Dell, you will leave alone. If you walk in with an iPod or an iBook, you’ll be part of the crowd, because Steve Jobs made Apple a Lovemark. We have seven iPods in our family. All the kids have them; We’re iTunes-mad. We’re loyal to Mac..and there is no reason for that whatsoever.” Tuesday, January 29, 13
  • 39.
    Emotional Relationships Ken and Andy have been good friends for over 10 years. Recently however, Andy was promoted and became Ken’s manager. Ken felt the new promotion had changed Andy in that Andy had become very bossy to him. how effective would Ken be in maintaining a good relationship, if he chose to respond in the following ways? Response 1: Ken tried to understand Andy’s new role and tried to adjust to the changes in their interactions. a.Very ineffective b. somewhat ineffective c. neutral d. somewhat effective e. very effective Response 2: Ken approached Andy and confronted him regarding the change in his behavior a.Very ineffective b. somewhat ineffective c. neutral d. somewhat effective e. very effective Source: Charles J. Wolfe Associates, LLC Tuesday, January 29, 13
  • 40.
    Emotion Roadmap Execute What is Gap What is? & Ideal? Analysis Modify Who are all the people What feelings would be How can you create the What are we able to do? involved? ideal for each key person? feelings you want? What are we willing to How is each key person do? feeling? Source: Charles J. Wolfe Associates, LLC Tuesday, January 29, 13
  • 41.
    Emotional Relationships You are Andy’s leader (Janet) and a member of Andy’s team tells you about Andy’s feelings. You decide to intervene. Use the emotion roadmap to help you to plan what to say to Andy, and possibly to Ken. Execute What is Gap What is? & Ideal? Analysis Modify Who are all the people What feelings would be How can you create the What are we able to do? involved? ideal for each key person? feelings you want? What are we willing to How is each key person do? feeling? Source: Charles J. Wolfe Associates, LLC Tuesday, January 29, 13
  • 42.
    “We who livedin concentration camps can remember the men who walked throughout the huts comforting others, giving away their last piece of bread. They may have been few in number, but they offer sufficient proof that everything can be taken away from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms - to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way”. - Viktor Frankl, Man’s Search for Meaning Tuesday, January 29, 13
  • 43.
    Steps to emotionalIntelligence • What is - who are the people involved? How each key person feeling? • What is ideal - What feelings would be ideal for each key person • How can you create the feelings you want? • What are we able to do? • What are we willing to do? Tuesday, January 29, 13
  • 44.
    Leadership and Management • Inspiring a shared vision (inspire, energize) • Encouraging the heart (engage, confidence) • Modeling the way (trust) • Enabling others (empower) • Challenging the process (open, risk taking) Tuesday, January 29, 13
  • 45.
    Use Emotions Certain emotions are better suited than others for achieving specific tasks. What is ideal to feel? What emotion is most useful for: • Planning a wedding • Reviewing a spread sheet for errors • Making a presentation Tuesday, January 29, 13
  • 46.
    Keep in mind... • If you find yourself in a situation where your emotions are not helping the situation, ask yourself what would be the ideal feeling for me here that will help the situation? and continue from this point on. Tuesday, January 29, 13
  • 47.
    Keep in mind... • How do people experience me? • How do people experience themselves when they are with me? Leadership is about the impact...not your intentions Tuesday, January 29, 13
  • 48.
    Tasks/Facts Relationships Remember: feelings are facts! Tuesday, January 29, 13
  • 49.
  • 50.
    Be the changeyou want to see in the world. - Gandhi Tuesday, January 29, 13
  • 51.
    Thank You Please keep in touch. I am happy to hear about your learnings and successes Noa Peri-Jensch (702) 334-4075 Text noa@theglobalmomentum.com www.theglobalmomentum.com Tuesday, January 29, 13