1. Oxford Comma by Vampire Weekend Chapter 10. Writing Effective Sentences © 2010 by Bedford/St. Martin's 1 Who gives a f**k about an Oxford comma? I've seen those English dramas too They're cruel So if there's any other way To spell the word It's fine with me, with me Why would you speak to me that way Especially when I always said that I Haven't got the words for you All your diction dripping with disdain Through the pain I always tell the truth

2. Identify the Oxford comma:I went to see Zach, an officer and a gentleman.I went to see Zach,an officer, and a gentleman. 2

4. Emphasize new and important information.

5. Choose an appropriate sentence length.

6. Focus on the “real” subject.

7. Focus on the “real” verb.

8. Use parallel structures.

9. Use active and passive voice appropriatelyChapter 10. Writing Effective Sentences © 2010 by Bedford/St. Martin's 3

10. Meaning? Chapter 10. Writing Effective Sentences © 2010 by Bedford/St. Martin's 4

11. Oops…. Chapter 10. Writing Effective Sentences © 2010 by Bedford/St. Martin's 5

13. It can be embarrassing.Chapter 10. Writing Effective Sentences © 2010 by Bedford/St. Martin's 6

15. your subject

16. your purposeChapter 10. Writing Effective Sentences © 2010 by Bedford/St. Martin's 7

17. Find the Formality Score 1. Do you know your target readers well and personally? 1-10 2. Are they below you in "rank"? 1-10 3. Is the subject of your communication good news? 1-10 Chapter 10. Writing Effective Sentences © 2010 by Bedford/St. Martin's 8

18. Subject: tomato festivalPurpose: Introduction What factors influence the level of formality in this picture? Chapter 10. Writing Effective Sentences © 2010 by Bedford/St. Martin's 9

19. Subject: ConferencePurpose: interview What factors influence the level of formality in this picture? Chapter 10. Writing Effective Sentences © 2010 by Bedford/St. Martin's 10

20. Subject: Older manPurpose: ask for an interview What factors influence the level of formality in this picture? Chapter 10. Writing Effective Sentences © 2010 by Bedford/St. Martin's 11

21. Subject: babypurpose: birthday What factors influence the level of formality in this picture? Chapter 10. Writing Effective Sentences © 2010 by Bedford/St. Martin's 12

22. Event: concertpurpose: autograph What factors influence the level of formality in this picture? Chapter 10. Writing Effective Sentences © 2010 by Bedford/St. Martin's 13

23. Chapter 10. Writing Effective Sentences © 2010 by Bedford/St. Martin's 14

24. Older woman—Abroad-directions Chapter 10. Writing Effective Sentences © 2010 by Bedford/St. Martin's 15

25. Create parallel grammatical structures for emphasis I am not bound to win, I am bound to be true. Chapter 10. Writing Effective Sentences © 2010 by Bedford/St. Martin's 16

26. Create a sentence about a current event topic using parallel grammatical structures: Chapter 10. Writing Effective Sentences © 2010 by Bedford/St. Martin's 17

28. Be specific.

29. Avoid unnecessary jargon.

30. Use positive constructions.

31. Avoid long noun strings.

32. Avoid clichés.

33. Avoid euphemisms.Chapter 10. Writing Effective Sentences © 2010 by Bedford/St. Martin's 18

34. Identify the positive construction: I’m not happy! I am sad. Chapter 10. Writing Effective Sentences © 2010 by Bedford/St. Martin's 19

35. Revise for clarity: Chapter 10. Writing Effective Sentences © 2010 by Bedford/St. Martin's 20 "She wore a dress the same color as her eyes her father bought her from San Francisco," writes Danielle Steele in Star.

36. Use the active and passive voice appropriately Use the active voice unless the agent is clear from the context the agent is unknown the agent is less important than the action a reference to the agent is embarrassing, dangerous, or in some other way inappropriate Chapter 10. Writing Effective Sentences © 2010 by Bedford/St. Martin's 21

37. Write two sentences based on the image below, one using the passive voice and one using an active voice: Chapter 10. Writing Effective Sentences © 2010 by Bedford/St. Martin's 22

38. Revise the following passage, avoiding both the passive and the first person. Think about agent as subject. The woods in the morning seemed both peaceful and lively. Birds could be heard in the pines and oaks, staking out their territory. Squirrels could be seen scampering across the leaves that covered the forest floor, while in the branches above, the new leaves of the birches and maples were outlined by the sun’s rays. The leaves, too, could be heard, rustling to the rhythm of the wind. Chapter 10. Writing Effective Sentences © 2010 by Bedford/St. Martin's 23

39. Nominalization: When we rob verbs of their verbness, we turn them into nouns To make a discovery instead of to discover To conduct an investigation instead of to investigate To make an accusation instead of to accuse Nominalization has a rhetorical effect. Chapter 10. Writing Effective Sentences © 2010 by Bedford/St. Martin's 24

40. Write two sentences based on the image below, one with a nominalization and one transforming the nominalization into a verb Chapter 10. Writing Effective Sentences © 2010 by Bedford/St. Martin's 25

41. TRUE or FALSE? Chapter 10. Writing Effective Sentences © 2010 by Bedford/St. Martin's 26 A nominalization is a verb that has been transformed into a noun, as when to install becomes to effect an installation, or to analyze becomes to conduct an analysis.

42. Revise the following passages, paying special attention to ineffective passives, unnecessary nominalizations, and problems of agency. The measurement of the Earth’s fragile ozone layer was one of the important missions undertaken by the crew of the space shuttle Atlantis. The shuttle was launched in October of 1994. The mission lasted ten days. Humans are put at greater risk of skin cancer, cataracts, and other ailments because of overexposure to ultraviolet radiation. Crops can also be spoiled and underwater food sources devastated as a result of too much direct sunlight. A vast ozone hole over Antarctica from September to December every year is particularly worrisome to scientists. 27

43. TRUE or FALSE Chapter 10. Writing Effective Sentences © 2010 by Bedford/St. Martin's 28 New and important information should come at the beginning of a sentence, where readers will be sure to notice it.

44. The first few words and how you end your sentence determine how your reader will judge both the clarity and strength of your writing. If you consistently write sentences with short Subject/Topics that name a few central CHARACTERS and then join them to strong verbs, you’ll likely get the rest of the sentence right and in the process create a passage that seems both cohesive and coherent. Chapter 10. Writing Effective Sentences © 2010 by Bedford/St. Martin's 29

45. Which do you prefer? Chapter 10. Writing Effective Sentences © 2010 by Bedford/St. Martin's 30 A sociometric and actuarial analysis of Social Security revenues and disbursements for the last six decades to determine changes in projecting deficits is the subject of this study. In this study, we analyze Social Security’s revenues and disbursements for the last six decades, using sociometric and actuarial criteria to determine changes in projecting deficits.

47. Provide adequate detail.

48. Avoid ambiguity.Chapter 10. Writing Effective Sentences © 2010 by Bedford/St. Martin's 31

49. How to End Your Sentence Chapter 10. Writing Effective Sentences © 2010 by Bedford/St. Martin's 32 Communicate two kinds of difficulty: Long and complex phrases and clauses New information, particularly unfamiliar technical terms.

50. The Psychological Geography of Writing Sentences In the first few words, you announce your topic. The last few words receive stress and emphasis. Chapter 10. Writing Effective Sentences © 2010 by Bedford/St. Martin's 33

52. The passage below violates which of the following basic principles of effective sentences? The site marks the beginning of a first-year riparian forest buffer. Monitoring equipment was located essentially where this stream joined Cook Creek at the end of the forest riparian buffer. Monitoring data indicated improved water quality within the tributary. It is our opinion that this could be the result of the riparian forest buffer being created. avoid euphemisms avoid pompous words avoid wordy phrases avoid filler Answer: C and D. avoid wordy phrases, and avoid filler Chapter 10. Writing Effective Sentences © 2010 by Bedford/St. Martin's 35

53. List of the worst science cliches: Chapter 10. Writing Effective Sentences © 2010 by Bedford/St. Martin's 36 Silver bullet Missing link Holy grail Paradigm shift Shedding light

54. Euphemisms: name that list Chapter 10. Writing Effective Sentences © 2010 by Bedford/St. Martin's 37 Baking a hot icicle Backing in the trailer Watching a dolphin splash Weasel nosing Wrestling a brown corn-belly snake Yodeling in the canyon

56. Avoid filler.

57. Avoid unnecessary prepositional phrases.

58. Avoid wordy phrases.

59. Avoid pompous words.Chapter 10. Writing Effective Sentences © 2010 by Bedford/St. Martin's 38

60. Revise: "She walked into my office on legs as long as one of those long-legged birds that you see in Florida - the pink ones, not the white ones - except that she was standing on both of them, not just one of them, like those birds, the pink ones, and she wasn't wearing pink, but I knew right away that she was trouble, which those birds usually aren't." Chapter 10. Writing Effective Sentences © 2010 by Bedford/St. Martin's 39

61. The passage below exhibits which of the following flaws? Not many rescuers are trained to handle hazardous materials. Provide care only when safe to do so, establish a safe zone, and call for help. When a rescuer commences patient care, he should focus on basic life support and finalize his plan to decontaminate the patient. sexist language dangling modifier negative construction pompous words Chapter 10. Writing Effective Sentences © 2010 by Bedford/St. Martin's 40

63. Switch to a different form of the verb.

64. Switch to the plural.

65. Switch to he or she, he/she, s/he, or his or her.

66. Address the reader directly.

68. Chapter 10. Writing Effective Sentences © 2010 by Bedford/St. Martin's 43 “The only people for me are the mad ones, the ones who are mad to live, mad to talk, mad to be saved, desirous of everything at the same time, the ones who never yawn or say a commonplace thing, but burn, burn, burn, like fabulous yellow roman candles exploding like spiders across the stars and in the middle you see the blue centerlight pop and everybody goes “Awww!” - Jack Kerouac