1. Chapter 10. Writing Effective Sentences © 2010 by
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Who gives a f**k about
an Oxford comma?
I've seen those English
dramas too
They're cruel
So if there's any other
way
To spell the word
It's fine with me, with me
Why would you speak
to me that way
Especially when I always
said that I
Haven't got the words
for you
All your diction dripping
with disdain
Through the pain
I always tell the truth

2. 2

3. • Use lists.
• Emphasize new and important information.
• Choose an appropriate sentence length.
• Focus on the “real” subject.
• Focus on the “real” verb.
• Use parallel structures.
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4. Chapter 10. Writing Effective Sentences © 2010 by
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6. •It tends to be imprecise.
•It can be embarrassing.
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7. The Ventura Aquifer program objectives
are the following:
 characterization of ground water
quality
 to provide data to support Best
Management Practices (BMP)
 relating data to agricultural land use
practices
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8. • Set off each listed item with a number, a
letter, or a symbol (usually a bullet).
• Break up long lists.
• Present the items in a parallel structure.
• Structure and punctuate the lead-in
correctly.
• Punctuate the list correctly.
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9. Chapter 10. Writing Effective Sentences © 2010 by
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10. Use a level and tone appropriate for
• your audience
• your subject
• your purpose
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11.  1. Do you know your target readers well
and personally? 1-10
 2. Are they below you in "rank"? 1-10
 3. Is the subject of your communication
good news? 1-10
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12. What factors influence the level of formality in this picture?
Chapter 10. Writing Effective Sentences © 2010 by Bedford/St. Martin's 12

13. What factors influence the level of formality in this picture?
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14. What factors influence the level of formality in this picture?
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15. What factors influence the level of formality in this picture?
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16. What factors influence the level of formality in this picture?
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17. Chapter 10. Writing Effective Sentences © 2010 by Bedford/St. Martin's 17

18. Chapter 10. Writing Effective Sentences © 2010 by Bedford/St. Martin's 18

19. I am not bound to win, I am bound to be true.
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20. Chapter 10. Writing Effective Sentences © 2010 by
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21. • Use the active voice and the passive voice
appropriately.
• Be specific.
• Avoid unnecessary jargon.
• Use positive constructions.
• Avoid long noun strings.
• Avoid clichés.
• Avoid euphemisms.
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22.  I’m not happy!
 I am sad.
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23. Chapter 10. Writing Effective Sentences © 2010 by
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"She wore a
dress the same
color as her eyes
her father bought
her from San
Francisco,"
writes Danielle
Steele in Star.

24. › Use the active voice unless
› the agent is clear from the context
› the agent is unknown
› the agent is less important than the action
› a reference to the agent is embarrassing,
dangerous, or in some other way
inappropriate
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25. Chapter 10. Writing Effective Sentences © 2010 by
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26.  The woods in the morning seemed both
peaceful and lively. Birds could be heard
in the pines and oaks, staking out their
territory. Squirrels could be seen
scampering across the leaves that covered
the forest floor, while in the branches
above, the new leaves of the birches and
maples were outlined by the sun’s rays.
The leaves, too, could be heard, rustling
to the rhythm of the wind.
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27.  To make a discovery instead of to
discover
 To conduct an investigation instead of to
investigate
 To make an accusation instead of to
accuse
Nominalization has a rhetorical
effect.
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28. Chapter 10. Writing Effective Sentences © 2010 by
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29. Chapter 10. Writing Effective Sentences © 2010 by
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A nominalization is a verb that has
been transformed into a noun, as
when to install becomes to effect
an installation, or to analyze
becomes to conduct an analysis.

30.  The measurement of the Earth’s fragile ozone layer
was one of the important missions undertaken by the
crew of the space shuttle Atlantis. The shuttle was
launched in October of 1994. The mission lasted ten
days. Humans are put at greater risk of skin cancer,
cataracts, and other ailments because of overexposure
to ultraviolet radiation. Crops can also be spoiled and
underwater food sources devastated as a result of too
much direct sunlight. A vast ozone hole over
Antarctica from September to December every year is
particularly worrisome to scientists.
30

31. Chapter 10. Writing Effective Sentences © 2010 by
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New and important information
should come at the beginning of a
sentence, where readers will be sure
to notice it.

32.  If you consistently write sentences with
short Subject/Topics that name a few
central CHARACTERS and then join them
to strong verbs, you’ll likely get the rest of
the sentence right and in the process
create a passage that seems both
cohesive and coherent.
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33. Chapter 10. Writing Effective Sentences © 2010 by
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A sociometric and actuarial analysis of Social
Security revenues and disbursements for the
last six decades to determine changes in
projecting deficits is the subject of this study.
In this study, we analyze Social Security’s
revenues and disbursements for the last six
decades, using sociometric and actuarial
criteria to determine changes in projecting
deficits.

34. • Use precise words.
• Provide adequate detail.
• Avoid ambiguity.
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35. Chapter 10. Writing Effective Sentences © 2010 by
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Emily Brontë, Wuthering Heights
"I lingered round them, under that benign sky;
watched the moths fluttering among the heath,
and hare-bells; listened to the soft wind
breathing through the grass; and wondered how
any one could ever imagine unquiet slumbers
for the sleepers in that quiet earth."

36. Chapter 10. Writing Effective Sentences © 2010 by
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Communicate two kinds of difficulty:
Long and complex phrases and clauses
New information, particularly unfamiliar
technical terms.

37.  In the first few words, you announce your
topic.
 The last few words receive stress and
emphasis.
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38.  Questions about the
ethics of withdrawing intravenous
feeding are more difficult.
 More difficult are questions
about the ethics of
withdrawing intravenous
feeding.
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39. The site marks the beginning of a first-year riparian forest
buffer. Monitoring equipment was located essentially where
this stream joined Cook Creek at the end of the forest
riparian buffer. Monitoring data indicated improved water
quality within the tributary. It is our opinion that this could be
the result of the riparian forest buffer being created.
› avoid euphemisms
› avoid pompous words
› avoid wordy phrases
› avoid filler
› Answer: C and D. avoid wordy phrases, and avoid filler
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40. Chapter 10. Writing Effective Sentences © 2010 by
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 Silver bullet
 Missing link
 Holy grail
 Paradigm shift
 Shedding light

41. Chapter 10. Writing Effective Sentences © 2010 by
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Baking a hot icicle
Backing in the trailer
Watching a dolphin splash
Weasel nosing
Wrestling a brown corn-belly snake
Yodeling in the canyon

42. • Avoid obvious statements.
• Avoid filler.
• Avoid unnecessary prepositional phrases.
• Avoid wordy phrases.
• Avoid pompous words.
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43. Revise: "She walked into my office on legs
as long as one of those long-legged
birds that you see in Florida - the pink
ones, not the white ones - except that
she was standing on both of them, not
just one of them, like those birds, the pink
ones, and she wasn't wearing pink, but I
knew right away that she was trouble,
which those birds usually aren't."
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44. Not many rescuers are trained to handle hazardous
materials. Provide care only when safe to do so,
establish a safe zone, and call for help. When a
rescuer commences patient care, he should focus on
basic life support and finalize his plan to
decontaminate the patient.
sexist language
dangling modifier
negative construction
pompous words
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45. Chapter 10. Writing Effective Sentences © 2010 by
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• Replace the male-gender words with non-
gender-specific words.
• Switch to a different form of the verb.
• Switch to the plural.
• Switch to he or she, he/she, s/he, or his or
her.
• Address the reader directly.
• Alternate he and she.

46. Chapter 10. Writing Effective Sentences © 2010 by
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What are two techniques to avoid sexist
language?

47. Chapter 10. Writing Effective Sentences © 2010 by
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“The only people for me are the mad
ones, the ones who are mad to live,
mad to talk, mad to be saved,
desirous of everything at the same
time, the ones who never yawn or say
a commonplace thing, but burn, burn,
burn, like fabulous yellow roman
candles exploding like spiders across
the stars and in the middle you see
the blue centerlight pop and
everybody goes “Awww!”
- Jack Kerouac