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water

                       dreams

                        Dreaming
                       music
                            the
                            Human
                            Incompleteness


Massimo Schinco - Psychotherapist, Italy
in this presentation I will propose some
thoughts and suggestions on the subject of
human incompleteness and its opposite,
the fantasy of completeness

our dreams reveal this fantasy in a quite
effective way and may help us to make
important shifts in our existential position
and social behavior in order to recognize
our incompleteness and live aligned with it


           Massimo Schinco - Psychotherapist, Italy
the hypothesis underlying this claim is that
we act as co – creators of the shared
reality in a frame of

continuity

between our waking and dreaming state

between our perceptions and actions

between the world of dreams and the
“world of material actions”

             Massimo Schinco - Psychotherapist, Italy
one of the basic issue in understanding the
nature both of continuity and co –creation it
is the nature of

boundaries

and how they are generated




         Massimo Schinco - Psychotherapist, Italy
XX X
the “SEX SALAD” dream


        Massimo Schinco - Psychotherapist, Italy
a woman in her 50s had the following dream

“my husband and I go to a party at dear friends’ home

we decided that everybody would bring something to
eat

I choose to prepare a salad of exterior genital parts

everybody contributes: penis, testicles, labia and also
nipples and breasts are cut and chopped in a big bowl

at last, to improve the taste, I add some oil and parsley”



                Massimo Schinco - Psychotherapist, Italy
the dreamer is settled with her marriage and sexual life
but she is facing other family issues, due to the bad
health conditions of parents and other relatives

since years she is striving to defend the boundaries of her
own family without going into an open conflict with other
relatives and without neglecting the needs of the elders

in the last years she got very stressed; the quality of her
own life has been reduced and the physician has
prescribed antidepressant to her




                Massimo Schinco - Psychotherapist, Italy
discussing the dream many interesting elements emerge:

in the dream the woman shows a shadowy “witchy” side
of herself (in waking life she is usually considered resolute,
but sweet and helpful)

with her deeds in the dream she cancels all differences
and destroys the family’s structure

she reveals not only anger and desires of revenge, but
also the desire of getting a new youth and sharing a
magic power with her husband and dear friends



                 Massimo Schinco - Psychotherapist, Italy
the dream shows what a fantasy of completeness can be:

actually, the dreamer does not features herself as “a part
of” larger human systems, because considering oneself as
“a part of” would imply that:

nobody can stand simply thanks to him/herself

everybody exists as a self-conscious manifestation of a
wholeness

appropriate and variable boundaries ensure the balance
between individuation and belongings



                Massimo Schinco - Psychotherapist, Italy
in the dream instead she features herself as if she was
striving for

“becoming the “whole of all parts” (F. Mina)


where all boundaries and distinctions regarding family,
couple, gender, individuals and bodily limits are cancelled




                Massimo Schinco - Psychotherapist, Italy
the inhabitants of the small planets in Saint –
Exupery’s “Le Petit Prince” provide effective
metaphors of the existential position related
to such a fantasy




                 Massimo Schinco - Psychotherapist, Italy
our dreamer feels rather as if she
             would be the lamplighter,
             doomed to never giving up duly
             lighting and shutting, and faster
             and faster, a lamp whose light
             nobody can appreciate …




Massimo Schinco - Psychotherapist, Italy
in the same time that the dreamer had the dream and
discussed it, her attitude to family issues began to basically
change

she began to manage more effectively with her own
responsibilities and those of others

she became more self- confident and easy in asking for
help and accepting it

she changed her way to keep situations under control,
taking some emotional distance and in the meantime
standing firmly on strategic issues



                 Massimo Schinco - Psychotherapist, Italy
a dream in a Jungian key




Massimo Schinco - Psychotherapist, Italy
a dream-passionate man had this dream

“my Soul and I were talking on a balcony. As usual my Soul was
much more clever than me, and she said that I was naïf. Out of
the blue down on the street my Shadow appeared and  was
chasing after me. Apparently my Soul helped me to hide from
Shadow. We went up some dangerous  spiral staircase and
entered an apartment where a happy family was . Not my
family in the waking reality, but my family in that dream. I tried
to hide there but my Shadow sought me out so, since this family
could be in danger because of me, I decided to face him
directly. He had a gun and I challenged him: ok, shoot me now.
Out of a sudden I understood he would not be able to do so
anymore, he was defeated and harmless. I took his gun and
dismantled it”


                  Massimo Schinco - Psychotherapist, Italy
the dreamer features himself in a dyad on a balcony,
together with his own charming soul, far above of the dirty
ground and crowded streets … as if they were Dante and
Beatrice … what a wonderful twosome!

in order to fulfill his fantasy of completeness the dreamer
denies that he himself works as an open system,
exchanging energy, materials and information with the
environment (i.e.: others). He tends to put himself in a
higher position, separate from multiple interaction and
exchange

the elements that would contrast this view are treated as
rubbish, which is put “out there” on somebody else's back


                Massimo Schinco - Psychotherapist, Italy
small surprise if what he has rejected and fought
will fight him in turn, in his dream as a jungian
shadow, and in his waking life taking the shape
of negative feelings and actual troubled
relations

in his dream he tries to solve the problem with a
further “ascending strategy”, that will fail when
he’ll finally take note that he is part of a family

in this very moment his soul disappears and his
shadow becomes innocuous …


              Massimo Schinco - Psychotherapist, Italy
it makes an important difference to
conceive that one’s own soul may be
devised as a family, instead of an
individual, though magic and charming
this individual can be

the relation with the soul (and,
consequently, with the collective
unconscious) it is no longer a couple
relationship, which is always tending to
symbiosis, becoming much more
organized and complex instead

           Massimo Schinco - Psychotherapist, Italy
the being part of a family means to be
caught up in not rescindable bonds with
relatives

family and relativity belong to the same
order of reality

not rarely, those who have a strong
affinity with the absolute (i.e.: creative
and highly spiritual persons, sportsmen
etc.), tend to have troubles in family life


            Massimo Schinco - Psychotherapist, Italy
reflections for further steps in theory
and practice




           Massimo Schinco - Psychotherapist, Italy
the taking into account a view of reality based on the
idea of continuity implies to devise human beings as
perceivers and contributors to the creation of reality
especially by their descriptions of the reality itself

this view has someway being explored by many
philosophers, scholars and scientists

in the specific field of dreams the hypothesis of
continuity and the nature of boundaries have been
probed in particular by Ernest Hartmann (2010, 2011)




                Massimo Schinco - Psychotherapist, Italy
in several previous works of mine I claimed that the
way humans feel, think, look at and act in relation to
each other should be approached as a whole
(perception, actions and feelings are in function
one of each other) that we can represent as
patterns and processes

these patterns of feelings, thoughts, actions and
perceptions reveal themselves as obeying
underlying orders

boundaries (which distinguish a pattern from
another one) are a concrete manifestation of
orders and feature self –similarity (boundaries tend
to have fractal nature)

             Massimo Schinco - Psychotherapist, Italy
just recall that order is not “something more
than chaos”, it is less instead

in mathematics, chaos does not mean
“disorder” but complexity of an infinite
degree, where our capacity of representation
fails

then, every time we “introduce” order, we
actually take something important away



             Massimo Schinco - Psychotherapist, Italy
with this, I’m focusing on the fact that, every
time we introduce order into the chaotic
stream of our consciousness, we operate a
reduction and a simplification that will
interact (more or less harmoniously) with
others’ reductions and simplifications




             Massimo Schinco - Psychotherapist, Italy
also, in the waking state we have
“something less” than in the dreaming
state (we are less aware of emotions,
secret desires, personal epistemology and
so on)

and, conversely, in the dreaming state
we have “something less” than in the
waking state (we disregard the
importance of actual deeds, boundaries
and action in “material life”)


          Massimo Schinco - Psychotherapist, Italy
each one of these conditions tends to
present itself as independent and
complete, meanwhile both are
incomplete and interconnected
representations of the same wholeness

the process of comparing and
connecting the two conditions may have
important effects on the life of the
dreamer

why?

           Massimo Schinco - Psychotherapist, Italy
provided that a complete answer to such a
question does not exist

and eventually, in the light of what I stated
above, it should be clear that a complete
interpretation of a dream can not exist




             Massimo Schinco - Psychotherapist, Italy
I wouldn’t exclude that part of this
effectiveness may derive straightly from
the fact that, to be performed, this
process of comparison and connection
requires participants to put themselves in
an attitude of relativity and
incompleteness in the very frame of
specific and emotionally important life
circumstances




           Massimo Schinco - Psychotherapist, Italy
more than the content of a particular
interpretation in itself, it is the quality of
this process of re – alignment that allows
the systems involved to enter self –healing
pathways




           Massimo Schinco - Psychotherapist, Italy
thank
                                     you!

Massimo Schinco - Psychotherapist, Italy

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Human Incompleteness Revealed in Dreams

  • 1. water dreams Dreaming music the Human Incompleteness Massimo Schinco - Psychotherapist, Italy
  • 2. in this presentation I will propose some thoughts and suggestions on the subject of human incompleteness and its opposite, the fantasy of completeness our dreams reveal this fantasy in a quite effective way and may help us to make important shifts in our existential position and social behavior in order to recognize our incompleteness and live aligned with it Massimo Schinco - Psychotherapist, Italy
  • 3. the hypothesis underlying this claim is that we act as co – creators of the shared reality in a frame of continuity between our waking and dreaming state between our perceptions and actions between the world of dreams and the “world of material actions” Massimo Schinco - Psychotherapist, Italy
  • 4. one of the basic issue in understanding the nature both of continuity and co –creation it is the nature of boundaries and how they are generated Massimo Schinco - Psychotherapist, Italy
  • 5. XX X the “SEX SALAD” dream Massimo Schinco - Psychotherapist, Italy
  • 6. a woman in her 50s had the following dream “my husband and I go to a party at dear friends’ home we decided that everybody would bring something to eat I choose to prepare a salad of exterior genital parts everybody contributes: penis, testicles, labia and also nipples and breasts are cut and chopped in a big bowl at last, to improve the taste, I add some oil and parsley” Massimo Schinco - Psychotherapist, Italy
  • 7. the dreamer is settled with her marriage and sexual life but she is facing other family issues, due to the bad health conditions of parents and other relatives since years she is striving to defend the boundaries of her own family without going into an open conflict with other relatives and without neglecting the needs of the elders in the last years she got very stressed; the quality of her own life has been reduced and the physician has prescribed antidepressant to her Massimo Schinco - Psychotherapist, Italy
  • 8. discussing the dream many interesting elements emerge: in the dream the woman shows a shadowy “witchy” side of herself (in waking life she is usually considered resolute, but sweet and helpful) with her deeds in the dream she cancels all differences and destroys the family’s structure she reveals not only anger and desires of revenge, but also the desire of getting a new youth and sharing a magic power with her husband and dear friends Massimo Schinco - Psychotherapist, Italy
  • 9. the dream shows what a fantasy of completeness can be: actually, the dreamer does not features herself as “a part of” larger human systems, because considering oneself as “a part of” would imply that: nobody can stand simply thanks to him/herself everybody exists as a self-conscious manifestation of a wholeness appropriate and variable boundaries ensure the balance between individuation and belongings Massimo Schinco - Psychotherapist, Italy
  • 10. in the dream instead she features herself as if she was striving for “becoming the “whole of all parts” (F. Mina) where all boundaries and distinctions regarding family, couple, gender, individuals and bodily limits are cancelled Massimo Schinco - Psychotherapist, Italy
  • 11. the inhabitants of the small planets in Saint – Exupery’s “Le Petit Prince” provide effective metaphors of the existential position related to such a fantasy Massimo Schinco - Psychotherapist, Italy
  • 12. our dreamer feels rather as if she would be the lamplighter, doomed to never giving up duly lighting and shutting, and faster and faster, a lamp whose light nobody can appreciate … Massimo Schinco - Psychotherapist, Italy
  • 13. in the same time that the dreamer had the dream and discussed it, her attitude to family issues began to basically change she began to manage more effectively with her own responsibilities and those of others she became more self- confident and easy in asking for help and accepting it she changed her way to keep situations under control, taking some emotional distance and in the meantime standing firmly on strategic issues Massimo Schinco - Psychotherapist, Italy
  • 14. a dream in a Jungian key Massimo Schinco - Psychotherapist, Italy
  • 15. a dream-passionate man had this dream “my Soul and I were talking on a balcony. As usual my Soul was much more clever than me, and she said that I was naïf. Out of the blue down on the street my Shadow appeared and  was chasing after me. Apparently my Soul helped me to hide from Shadow. We went up some dangerous  spiral staircase and entered an apartment where a happy family was . Not my family in the waking reality, but my family in that dream. I tried to hide there but my Shadow sought me out so, since this family could be in danger because of me, I decided to face him directly. He had a gun and I challenged him: ok, shoot me now. Out of a sudden I understood he would not be able to do so anymore, he was defeated and harmless. I took his gun and dismantled it” Massimo Schinco - Psychotherapist, Italy
  • 16. the dreamer features himself in a dyad on a balcony, together with his own charming soul, far above of the dirty ground and crowded streets … as if they were Dante and Beatrice … what a wonderful twosome! in order to fulfill his fantasy of completeness the dreamer denies that he himself works as an open system, exchanging energy, materials and information with the environment (i.e.: others). He tends to put himself in a higher position, separate from multiple interaction and exchange the elements that would contrast this view are treated as rubbish, which is put “out there” on somebody else's back Massimo Schinco - Psychotherapist, Italy
  • 17. small surprise if what he has rejected and fought will fight him in turn, in his dream as a jungian shadow, and in his waking life taking the shape of negative feelings and actual troubled relations in his dream he tries to solve the problem with a further “ascending strategy”, that will fail when he’ll finally take note that he is part of a family in this very moment his soul disappears and his shadow becomes innocuous … Massimo Schinco - Psychotherapist, Italy
  • 18. it makes an important difference to conceive that one’s own soul may be devised as a family, instead of an individual, though magic and charming this individual can be the relation with the soul (and, consequently, with the collective unconscious) it is no longer a couple relationship, which is always tending to symbiosis, becoming much more organized and complex instead Massimo Schinco - Psychotherapist, Italy
  • 19. the being part of a family means to be caught up in not rescindable bonds with relatives family and relativity belong to the same order of reality not rarely, those who have a strong affinity with the absolute (i.e.: creative and highly spiritual persons, sportsmen etc.), tend to have troubles in family life Massimo Schinco - Psychotherapist, Italy
  • 20. reflections for further steps in theory and practice Massimo Schinco - Psychotherapist, Italy
  • 21. the taking into account a view of reality based on the idea of continuity implies to devise human beings as perceivers and contributors to the creation of reality especially by their descriptions of the reality itself this view has someway being explored by many philosophers, scholars and scientists in the specific field of dreams the hypothesis of continuity and the nature of boundaries have been probed in particular by Ernest Hartmann (2010, 2011) Massimo Schinco - Psychotherapist, Italy
  • 22. in several previous works of mine I claimed that the way humans feel, think, look at and act in relation to each other should be approached as a whole (perception, actions and feelings are in function one of each other) that we can represent as patterns and processes these patterns of feelings, thoughts, actions and perceptions reveal themselves as obeying underlying orders boundaries (which distinguish a pattern from another one) are a concrete manifestation of orders and feature self –similarity (boundaries tend to have fractal nature) Massimo Schinco - Psychotherapist, Italy
  • 23. just recall that order is not “something more than chaos”, it is less instead in mathematics, chaos does not mean “disorder” but complexity of an infinite degree, where our capacity of representation fails then, every time we “introduce” order, we actually take something important away Massimo Schinco - Psychotherapist, Italy
  • 24. with this, I’m focusing on the fact that, every time we introduce order into the chaotic stream of our consciousness, we operate a reduction and a simplification that will interact (more or less harmoniously) with others’ reductions and simplifications Massimo Schinco - Psychotherapist, Italy
  • 25. also, in the waking state we have “something less” than in the dreaming state (we are less aware of emotions, secret desires, personal epistemology and so on) and, conversely, in the dreaming state we have “something less” than in the waking state (we disregard the importance of actual deeds, boundaries and action in “material life”) Massimo Schinco - Psychotherapist, Italy
  • 26. each one of these conditions tends to present itself as independent and complete, meanwhile both are incomplete and interconnected representations of the same wholeness the process of comparing and connecting the two conditions may have important effects on the life of the dreamer why? Massimo Schinco - Psychotherapist, Italy
  • 27. provided that a complete answer to such a question does not exist and eventually, in the light of what I stated above, it should be clear that a complete interpretation of a dream can not exist Massimo Schinco - Psychotherapist, Italy
  • 28. I wouldn’t exclude that part of this effectiveness may derive straightly from the fact that, to be performed, this process of comparison and connection requires participants to put themselves in an attitude of relativity and incompleteness in the very frame of specific and emotionally important life circumstances Massimo Schinco - Psychotherapist, Italy
  • 29. more than the content of a particular interpretation in itself, it is the quality of this process of re – alignment that allows the systems involved to enter self –healing pathways Massimo Schinco - Psychotherapist, Italy
  • 30. thank you! Massimo Schinco - Psychotherapist, Italy